Chapter Eight - WereWHAT?

Time goes by quickly when you have people like James, Sirius and even Peter and Lily to just kid around with. Remus, who enjoyed being busy kept up with his schoolwork and even though he didn't always like to, he wrote Alanze back nearly every time she wrote to him. Not before long, end-of-school holidays had wound around. Remus returned to Mainland Place; but luckily for him he didn't have much contact with Alanze because she rarely came outside anymore. Remus blamed that factor on Alanze's overprotective mother, who scarcely allowed her to breathe without her thinking about it first. It was nothing he could do about her situation; he still had monthly transformations to worry about and they were worse than his social life any day.

The return back to Hogwarts came much quicker than Remus though it would. Truthfully, Remus couldn't wait to get back to his classes. He had been keeping a chart on the full moons of each month and that led him deeper into Astronomy. Just by glancing at the sky, he could tell what the time of day was by an hour. He didn't like gloating about this though, because being around James for so long only made his modesty to come out more.

"We're probably late." said Sirius, one afternoon. "Wonder what time it is. Check your watch, Lupiekins."

"Never call me that or I'll -" Remus grumbled, pushing his hair out of his eyes and going to check the watch Lily had given him a year ago. It had been a real while since he had together with all of them and it was now almost the end of another great year at Hogwarts.

"Why does it matter that we're late for History of Magic? Binns'll never notice we're missing – the only thing that's important to him is that he bores the students to death," commented James, rolling his eyes. Peter shook his head in disagreement.

"No – James, that's not right," the mousy boy tried to argue, "I think that he doesn't try to be boring when he lectures… it just happens that way."

"Peter, if I wanted a debate, trust me, I would've asked for one," snapped James in reply. Peter glared behind his back, and James stuck his tongue out at him.

They entered History of Magic nearly ten minutes into the class. And just as James had predicted, Professor Binns didn't notice a thing. He kept reading as they settled down into their seats in the back of the room.

"What kept you?" hissed Lily in their direction as James, to his dismay, sat down next to her.

"We wanted to keep away from you as long as possible," James teased, with a sneer even though he looked more than happy to be next to Lily, "Did we miss anything, Ragweed?"

"Don't call me that," snapped Lily, rolling her eyes and thrusting half a page of notes she had already wrote from the ten minutes before, "Have fun."

Sirius grumbled, and slumped over with his head cradled in between his arms. He was still and silent – Remus had a suspicion he was sleeping. Peter tried to listen… but every now and then a questionable shuffle made everyone think he was avoiding dozing off too. James was too busy sketching out plans for the Quidditch tryouts in the following week; he was trying out for Chaser. Lily kept notes, pausing every now and then to roll her eyes and looking at James with scorn.

Remus, on the other hand was being downright tortured on the inside. Tonight was a transformation night, why else would he be feeling as if fire wanted to rip him limb from limb? With every shallow breath he took he could feel his heart beat. Slower at first – then faster… quicker...

The beast inside him wanted to erupt from his veins – to rip at something… to eat… to kill…

Remus hastily shoved his fist in the air, wanting to be excused. Binns ignored him, and taking this as a sign he quickly stood up, knocking his chair over. The noise alerted the class; Sirius' head jerked up from sleeping and Peter flinched. Everyone watched as Remus, blinded by a thirsty bloodlust stumbled out of the room. The beast within him wanted to be free – to get out – to put to death any creature that wasn't of his kind… of his pack…

-x-

"Where's the Lupe tonight?"

"Sirius, we're trying to study."

"I just asked a question, Ragweed."

"Don't you start calling me that horrid nickname too!"

"Why not? It suits you. You can't be called Lily. It's a pretty name."

Lily threw a cushion at Sirius' head. "What are you implying?"

"That you're ugly because you're a girl and that Ragweed fits you better." replied Sirius very seriously. Lily glared at him deeply, then turned to James.

"And you agree with this imbecile you call a best friend?" she claimed, as if the spectacled boy was supposed to side with her.

"Of course, Ragweed," murmured James, still muttering under his Quidditch details. "Should I swerve with the Quaffle and shoot into the left goal if the Keeper takes Starfish formation or should I go to the left, fake it, then swerve to the right and try to score?"

"What-who-huh?" Peter questioned, trying to keep up with the gang. He was always a few steps behind, as always.

"James, give it up, you'll do fine tomorrow." Sirius assured him, "And I'm so tired of your Quidditch that if you don't shut up I'll take that Quaffle and swerve it somewhere you won't like."

"You're a funny one." responded James sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Nonetheless, he did put away his notes, as if he didn't doubt Sirius would indeed try to put a Quaffle in a wrong place.

"Let's go find the Lupe." Sirius said suddenly, rocketing to his feet. "I'm bored, and we can go annoy him once we find him. He always cracks when he's near me."

"Oh puppy… I wonder why that is." Lily said incredulously, with wide eyes as if she didn't know.

"Shut the hole in your face, Rags."

"Call me that one more time and I'll-"

"Yes! Lets go find Remus and… and…" Peter intervened, pulling Sirius away from Lily so they wouldn't argue anymore. James followed, laughing as they exited the portrait hole and made their way to the fourth floor, thinking that Remus was possibly sick.

Walking and talking, James suddenly thought of something. "Have you ever read a dictionary, Sirius?" he asked, eyes widening a little.

"A what? No, no, no, why do you ask?" questioned Sirius, smirking.

"Remus' last name." James added quietly, "Lupin. There's a word just like his last name in the dictionary. It's spelled l-u-p-i-n-e."

"So? My last name's Black, that's a color and it's in the dictionary. Your last name is Potter and that's in the dictionary. Lily's first name is a flower and she's in a greenhouse and-"

Choking back a laugh, James interrupted Sirius, "No you don't get my point."

"You didn't poke me, but keep talking anyway."

"That's not what I – you know what, just be quiet. This conversation would go a lot quicker if you just shut up." James retorted, changing his mind on what he wanted to say mid-thought. Peter nodded confusedly at James' side.

"As I was saying." James continued, as Sirius made a motion of locking his lips and throwing away an invisible key. "The Lupin in the dictionary means like… wolf-like."

"I like wolves." Murmured Peter stupidly. He never spoke much when he was around James and Sirius by themselves. Sirius looked thoughtful and was going to speak but then stopped suddenly. He got on his hands and knees, looking around for something that seemed to be his invisible key to unlock his lips. James kicked him playfully in the arm.

"Speak, boy. What's on your mind, puppy?"

Sirius glared, getting up off the floor. "I never thought of that before. Wolf-like? Hey James, do you remember our old Magic Mythology classes at Wizarding Primary School when we were like seven? Remus… wasn't that person like someone important?"

James laughed and tried to remember. "Honestly, if your hair wasn't almost black like your name I'd think you were a blonde."

"Ha," Sirius glared. "It appears you've got jokes."

"I know… but seriously, Sirius I think I know what you mean but I can't quite remember who exactly the guy Remus was." James added truthfully.

"He was the twin brother of Romulus. They were raised by wolves… and if my mythology is correct he was the founder and first king of the city of Rome," Peter said matter-of-factly. Both James and Sirius stared at the mousy boy very dumbfounded that he actually knew something.

"What? Muggles know mythology too." Peter claimed as if he wasn't stupid, looking sheepish. "And besides, I'm half-blood."

"Raised by wolves… wolf-like… wait…" Sirius dawned, a glazed look coming over his face as he realized something. "Remus disappears every month…"

"He does!" James agreed, "And every time he's gone it's always…"

"A full moon." All three of them chimed, even Peter.

"You don't think…" inquired Peter, eyes widening as he looked outside a nearby window. "Look at the sky!"

James and Sirius both turned to the window behind them and glanced upwards. Indeed, there was a full moon out in the cloudy sky. It disappeared behind a nice thicket of clouds and Sirius spotted two people crossing the courtyard.

"Look!" he said incredulously, "That's the nurse's assistant… the blonde cute one…"

"Of course you would know, Sirius." James rolled his eyes. There was a smaller figure, this one under a very dark cloak. Together they crossed to the Whomping Willow. The woman picked up a twig and prodded something on the tree that made it go limp. The smaller person threw off the cloak quickly, and then proceeded down into a doorway underground. Before completely sealing the hole in the ground with its very heavy wooden door, the person glanced up at the sky, as if he knew he was being watched. It was Remus.

"What's he doing?" voiced Peter. It was the thought on everyone's mind.

Then, Remus snapped the door shut and the Healer woman locked it from the outside just in time. The Whomping Willow almost hit her as she retreated, and then ran back across the court to get back into Hogwarts' main building.

"Are you going to ask him why he went down under the tree?" repeated Peter softly. Sirius glanced at James.

"Let's ask him together. Tomorrow." James concluded silently, still watching the tree. "So we can settle this thing once and for all."

-x-

Remus went to the hospital wing two days after the others witnessed him being led across the grounds. He looked very twitchy and pale, but otherwise fine.

"So," started James very casually as they sat around a couch in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was just the guys. Lily was off with some other people.

"So what?" chimed in Sirius, and surprisingly so did Peter. He was finally fitting in to the trio's endless sessions of jokes.

"So," James started again, "Where were you two days ago, Remus?"

Remus choked on the goblet of Pumpkin Juice he was drinking. Just that day they had found the entrance to the kitchens and were already stealing food. Remus' eyes darted around at all of his friends, sizing them up. He thought up a quick lie.

"I promised Alanze I would visit her," Remus told, and then cringed. Even Peter wasn't that thick to know he literally would stuff rotten snails up his nostrils than even sit near Alanze for a day. Or so they thought… "It was the only day I could see her."

"Uh-huh," Sirius said, looking up from his Wizarding Comic. He giggled when one of the characters blasted a thin hole through the next page and stung his finger.

"Since when do you actually care so much for your Muggle to go visit her?" James asked carefully. Remus clutched his hands into fists to keep from shaking.

"It was sort-of an emergency."

"Yeah, like you have emergencies every month… right?" Sirius answered. His eyes met with James' and they scanned the common room. It wasn't very late but they seemed to be the only ones in there at the time. Good for them.

"Er… right." Remus tried to go along with what they were implying. He tried to get back into his book because he noticed both of his dark-haired friends getting to their feet and walking over towards him. Peter looked just as terrified as he did, and seeing the expression on his face Remus knew what they were about to say to him.

"We know what you are," spoke James in a soft voice. His eyes bore into Remus' – and the wereboy couldn't fight to glance away. "And what we want to know is why you didn't tell us, Remus."

Remus couldn't control his fear any longer. He was scared… afraid of James, Sirius and Peter now that they were cornering him. He didn't want to admit it… but what harm would his words have done? They said they already knew….

"How'd you find out?" Remus questioned, his voice dry and raspy. He wondered if he could make a run for it if they tried to gang up on him.

"Two days ago. We saw you leave in History of Magic and figured you were in the Hospital Wing the whole day. So we were heading down there when we stopped and pondered something. Do you know your name means 'Wolf-like'? Or something like 'The Moon'?" Sirius answered.

"Er… I didn't really think about it that way. But is that how you found out?" Remus questioned, looking into the three boys faces. They didn't seem as if they wanted to kill him for being what he was…

"That and we-we saw you being led out on-onto the grounds, Remus." Peter piped up. He looked too scared to say much else, so for everything else that was said he nodded quickly and listened intently.

Remus ran a nervous hand through his hair then looked around at his friends again. "You can hate me if you all want," he started carefully. "Do your worse. I'm unarmed." He added, then closing his eyes and raising his chin bravely.

The only blow that came from the other three boys was Sirius plucking Remus sharply upside his left temple.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" questioned Remus, a smirk appearing on his face as he rubbed the place Sirius had plucked.

"That's for you being daft. We aren't going to beat you up just because you're different." Sirius said with a kind smile. He was going to grow up to be handsome; not to be judging but Remus could see it in him. Sirius also had an infectious smile that made everyone around him smile too. The corners of Remus' mouth twitched as James spoke.

"Yeah, everyone has their goods and their bads, right Remmie? I mean, just look at Sirius – he's just an all-around bad and everyone likes him! So I guess you'll be just fine!" James joked.

Sirius actually agreed with what his best friend was saying until he realized it was him who was being talked about. He abruptly picked up a pillow and beat James across the face with it. The blow was so quick and so fast it made stinging tears appear in James' eyes and knocked his glasses halfway across the room.

"OW! I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT, PUPPY!"

"I'm – I'm sorry," said Sirius earnestly, dropping the pillow. "I didn't know I could hit someone or something that fast!"

James, who tried out for Quidditch already was staring at Sirius in shock. It was either because he was amazed or because he saw yellow stars floating around Sirius' head.

"You – you could – SHOULD – try out for Beater!" James' slack jaw made him seem brainless.

"Beater? James, shut up. This is about Remus – not Quidditch." scoffed Sirius.

"NO seriously, Sirius – if you were a Beater the whole WORLD would be saved!"

"James put your glasses back on… that hit must've rattled your brain."

While the two dark-haired boys argued, Remus got up from the couch as silently as possible and inched towards the portrait hole. When he thought he was safe – he bolted out and ran like mad. Peter tried to tell James but he couldn't produce anything more but a squeak.

It took Sirius and James a few minutes to realize that Remus was gone.

"Er… where'd he go?" asked James, scratching his head. It hurt a lot, thanks to Sirius.

"No idea." said Sirius truthfully, and they all stood staring at each other.

-x-

Ashamed, Remus took to avoiding his friends for the next couple of weeks. It wasn't an easy thing to do – they all slept in the same dorm and had every class imaginable together. Remus was sitting on a bench outside one day, it wasn't a too cold of a day but it was early March. Someone came and sat to his left, but he didn't look up. Remus just drew his cloak tighter around his back and kept pretending as if he was really reading his potions book.

"You aren't reading that," giggled a soft voice. It was a girl. Remus was on good terms with most girls of his year, but he wasn't interested into finding out which one was talking to him.

"How do you know?" he asked fairly, snuffling a bit.

"Because your eyes aren't moving." Replied the girl matter-of-factly. Remus scoffed; he knew who it was by that type of comment.

"That doesn't mean anything, Lily."

"Does the fact that your book is upside down have anything to do with it, or did you know that too?"

"Very funny." Remus replied, blushing as he flipped his book over right-side up. "What'd you come over to badger me for?"

Lily smiled softly at her friend. "The Duo told me you've taken to avoiding them and sent me as a peacemaker to persuade you to come back."

Remus grew thunderstruck. Did she know? Would James and Sirius really have told Lily? Or anyone else?

"What-what do you mean?" Remus blurted, "They didn't say what they – they wanted? They didn't say anything-anything about me did they?"

The smaller girl looked puzzled, despite herself. "What, Remus? All I know was that they told me you've had a tussle and that they-"

Remus felt his panic overwhelm him and couldn't even hear Lily's explanation. He got to his feet and ran – ran as fast and as far as his feet could take him. If Lily knew then with the big mouth that girl had… everyone in the whole school had to know by now! He was scared, afraid of anyone who bumped him in the hall or said something to him as he rushed by. He ended up somewhere near the hospital wing after dark. Remus' blind instincts took him to the only person who he could trust – Gwendolyn.

"Remus?" the Healer questioned, looking over a pair of thin spectacles she wore for reading. She hopped to her feet and smoothed out her black robes as she went over to tend to her client. "What's wrong, Remus?"

"I want to speak to Dumbledore." Remus gasped, out of breath. It wasn't too much later than dinner hours, but he wanted to avoid the school. He wanted to be as far away from others – the normal ones – as possible.

"Dumbledore? What for?" asked Gwendolyn, her brow furrowed.

"They found out… the kids… my friends at my dorm." Remus told in a voice that sounded so lost of hope, Gwendolyn felt pathetic for him. "They know what I am and now I'm going to have to leave!"

"Don't overreact Remus, I'm pretty sure that they don't really know what you are and what goes on-"

"James, Sirius and Lily aren't that thick!" Remus shouted, "They're the heads of our class! Peter's not the brightest fairy light… but he's not that dull!"

Gwendolyn sighed as Remus persisted. "Do you really think it's serious enough that you need to see the Headmaster?"

"Yes! They think I'm a raging werewolf! I think that's a big enough dilemma for me to be able to visit Professor Dumbledore!" Remus replied too sarcastically to be telling the truth.

Gwendolyn sighed, "Follow me then."

She led him to a floor Remus always walked by on his way to classes but never paid much attention to. A large stone gargoyle was sitting in the middle of the hallway, and Remus followed Gwendolyn as she walked up to it. Remus looked curiously from the woman to the statue as she cleared her throat.

"Jelly slugs!"

As if by "magic", the statue started moving upwards in a spiral motion. Gwendolyn stepped on the moving staircase, and Remus stumbled on behind her, looking very apprehensive.

They approached a large door at the top of the revolving staircase and Gwendolyn knocked. The door opened and they entered.

Dumbledore sat, smiling as he watched them enter. His white-beard and hair shone greatly by the candlelight from his ceiling.

"Madam Jaccobs?" Dumbledore questioned, "Oh… and Remus?"

Remus nodded. Gwendolyn went to talk, but Remus interrupted.

"I want to go home, Professor, sir!" he said, half-heartedly. "My friends found out what I am and-"

Dumbledore paused, and then raised his hand to silence the sandy-haired boy. "And what makes you think that they're reacting in the way you think they are?"

The statement really confused Remus. He sat down in a nearby chair and put his head in his hands. "I - I just figured that they'd hate me because I'm not – not normal."

"Your perception of people can be distorted by the smallest of things, Remus." Dumbledore said lightly, laying his hand on Remus' shoulder. "I'm pretty sure by the way you and your friends are so trusting of each other that they wouldn't have told anyone once they found out."

Remus sighed. He trusted Dumbledore more than anyone else; and he knew he wasn't going to send him home. He would have to face his demons and go to apologize to Sirius, James, Peter and even Lily for acting like he had over the past weeks.

"I suggest you calm down and just go back to talk to your friends. Who knows, perhaps they won't abandon you after all." Dumbledore told him, lightly, with a kind smile.

"Yes sir." Remus responded dully, feeling his panic subside somewhat but not fully. "I hope you're right."

With a final nod, Dumbledore followed Gwendolyn and Remus to the door.

"G'night Mr. Lupin." He said as finality, and then closed the door.

-x-

He couldn't go back to the common room right away. He had to calm himself down somehow… and the only thing that seemed soothing right now was for him to be alone. Quietly, he went outside on the grounds, and sat by the lake. It was freezing cold; but he didn't care. Remus braced it and stood staring into the clear water.

"Oiy!" someone yelled at him. Remus jumped. It wasn't a voice he knew…

"Hey!" yelled the voice again. Remus turned. The speaker was a large man with very tangled hair. He had to be something other than human; a true man wasn't really that tall. He had kind eyes, and Remus didn't think he was going to harm him.

"What 're ya doing out here all alone for?" asked the stranger, "'Re ya trying to freeze yerself to death?"

"No," Remus replied dully, "I was just stalling for time. I don't want to go back to my common room just yet."

The stranger nodded. "Come back to me hut then. I'll make yer a spot of tea, and yeh can tell me all about it."

Remus nodded and followed the great man, sulking. The stranger looked at Remus strangely as he walked staring at the ground. The man chuckled.

"You'll never see the stars if yeh're always looking down." He commented, smiling at Remus slightly.

"Sir, I don't really have a reason to look up at the sky anymore so I avoid doing so." Remus glumly replied.

"So you be the Lupin boy?" asked the stranger, "Dumbledore speaks of you every-so-often. I'm the gamekeeper, Rubeus Hagrid."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Hagrid." Remus chimed, as Hagrid showed him inside his house and sat him down on a sunken couch. He was then thrown a very large blanket and served a large saucer of tea.

"Nah, yeh can call me just Hagrid, it's fine." Said the beefy man, smiling kindly.

Something wet touched the tip of Remus' free hand dangling on the side of the couch. Remus let out a yelp, and whatever touched him yelped too.

"What is it!" Remus yelled, abashed.

"Oh that's just Fang, that's all. He's a boarhound… mind yeh, he's just a puppy." Replied Hagrid happily.

Fang plopped on Remus' lap and he began to lick him enthusiastically about his face. Remus laughed and patted the great dog on the head and back as they played.

It went like that for the rest of the night, and Remus couldn't even remember the last time he had spent a whole night just talking to someone. Hagrid was a nice man and Remus was surprised he never had anyone else to talk to. So, from then on Remus swore to visit him often and introduce him to the rest of his friends.

And Remus didn't even realize that he fell asleep on Hagrid's couch.

-x-

He had no other alternatives but to return to the Gryffindor Common Room and get washed. He smelled like Fang and Hagrid's hut – which wasn't an entirely good thing.

Remus entered, and since it was early from when he had left Hagrid's, scarcely anyone was awake. Except one person…

"Hi Lily." Remus claimed automatically, spotting the redhead in her favorite chair. She smiled and closed her mouth abruptly. Evidently, she wanted to have the first word.

"Hello, where'd you go last night?" she asked, speaking her usual twenty-words-per-second rate, "We were all looking for you."

"I – I spent the night with a friend." Remus told, smiling softly. "You know, Lils, it's okay if you know my secret. I know you won't tell."

"Secret what?" Lily replied, "That's what I had been meaning to ask you. You kept mentioning something about a secret that I had no idea about and when I tried to go ask James and Sirius they wouldn't tell me either, and-"

Remus' heart lightened. James and Sirius didn't tell! They were good friends to him as they were to each other!

Remus took that time then to just sit Lily down and tell her everything. And she listened until the sun rose.

-x-

After a bath, Remus entered his dorm and found no one there. Finding that very peculiar, he barely had time to duck before a pillow was thrown at him.

"Hey!"

"Don't move, or we'll toss another!" came Sirius' voice from somewhere. Remus had a suspicion that they were hiding somewhere either near the ceiling or on top of the four-posters.

"I know what you're mad at but – ow! Hey!"

Remus tried to get them to listen but a pillow flew from the ceiling and hit him on his left shoulder.

"Cut it out! I'm sorry!"

There were fast whispers once Remus apologized. Remus scarcely heard what they were saying, but rolled his eyes and went to his trunk to get dressed.

"Did he say he was sorry?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Aw, now what? I wanted to finish throwing pillows at him!"

"Sirius, he said sorry!"

"One more pillow?"

"No!"

"Alright… alright…"

James and Sirius (just like Remus suspected) hopped down from a secret panel from the ceiling. It obvious they had been there for some time; they were both covered in cobwebs.

"Where'd that passage come from?" Remus questioned. He knew a few more passageways that the trio had discovered in the beginning of the year. They were getting very familiar to the underskirts of Hogwarts.

"Well, if you were talking to us a week ago we would've showed you. It leads to a secret panel on the 7th floor. That way you can sneak out without the Fat Lady ever knowing that you're gone." James said matter-of-factly.

Remus laughed, and then sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't trust you guys. I knew you wouldn't tell – but then something inside of me panicked…"

"It's alright. I have to admit, Sirius' sanity is a pretty scary thing." James added gravely.

"Yeah." Sirius agreed, nodding. A look of realization crossed his handsome features, and then stopped shaking his head. "Wait – what does my sanity have to do with the fact of Remus trusting us with his secret?"

James and Remus exchanged a look, and then burst into timely laughter. Things were back to the way the used to be, and Remus couldn't have wanted it any other way.