Exodus 3.5 – Chapter 2
This is a continuation of one part of Exodus 3.5 – after the season finale of Lost
Let It Be
"Our home…" Charlie repeated under his breath. He looked a Claire and smiled. This is what he had been waiting to hear for awhile. He squeezed her hand and on impulse placed a small kiss on her lips. He was amazed that rather than pull away, she leaned into him.
Claire smiled within the kiss and broke it. She looked at him with a new appreciation and winked.
"I was wondering when and if you were going to do that" She cupped his face in her hand and stroked his bearded cheek with her thumb.
Charlie blushed and pushed a kiss into her palm. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to, luv." He placed his hand on hers, "but I've been wanting to for weeks" He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, "Just couldn't get up the bloody courage" he winked back at her "You're pretty intimidating."
"Cheeky bugger" she pushed his face playfully. Claire leaned her head on Charlie's shoulder and closed her eyes, happy and peaceful.
The rock star kissed her forehead and reached around to pick up his guitar. It was sitting on top of his bag and as he pulled it forward, the statuette again tried to make an escape. He quickly looked at Claire making sure she didn't see it and pushed it back into the bag. Laying the guitar on his lap he gently stroked the strings. Finding the position he wanted his fingers to be on the frets, he started to sing:
I give her all my love and tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her
Claire lifted her head off his shoulder "Is that the Beatles?" she asked as he continued to play. Baby Aaron was starting to stir on her lap so she lifted him up onto her shoulder "Quiet, my love, Charlie's playing us a song." The child lifted his head and started to gurgle into his mother's ear. Claire looked over at the musician, "See he likes it!"
Charlie smiled and nodded his head "Of course he does, who doesn't like the Beatles?" He started strumming again and humming the next verse. The music was pulling him in, surrounding him, making everything else disappear – the island, the pain, the need – all gone. He wasn't even aware of Claire getting up from the sand and start to walk back to the caves.
"What? Where are you going?"
"I said…" Claire brushed the sand from her pants and put Aaron back into the bjorn "We need to see if Jack has come back yet" She adjusted the baby in front of her, "I want to make sure that Aaron's all right after his little…adventure." She tapped the baby's back. "You coming?"
He squinted up at her and set his jaw, "Would you mind if I just stayed her a bit?" Claire cocked her head at him. "It's just that..." he laid his hand on the strings of the guitar, "I need a little quiet time – I need to think."
Claire nodded and looked apprehensively into the jungle. "Do you think it's safe for me to go back alone?"
Charlie nodded his head and with an uncharacteristic flatness to his voice said it should be fine and that he would be along soon. Claire looked at him with raised eyebrows, shrugged and started down the path. She stopped and looked over her shoulder.
"You're coming soon then, right?" She tried to keep her voice calm but the fear was starting to creep in. Why would he not come with, she wondered.
Charlie blew her a kiss, "I'll be there straightaway, luv" He still saw her face give a questioning look. He crossed his heart with his finger "Promise." He smiled at her then turned back to the ocean and his guitar.
Claire gave him one last look and turned into the jungle. I can do this, she said to herself, I've done it lots of times before. She threw her shoulders back and walked with a determined stride. Nothing was going to stop her from getting to the caves. Nothing.
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Charlie closed his eyes and slowing swept his fingers over the strings. He knew he should have gone with her, but he needed to be by himself for just a little bit. He reached over to his bag and gently grasped the Madonna. It was cool in his hand and he shook it slightly. Yep, there it was, cradled inside, calling to him, so seductive. He placed the statue in the sand in front of him and stared firmly at it. He put his hand to his chin, elbow resting on his guitar and closed his eyes. What do I do, he thought, what do I do? He opened his eyes and looked up into the strikingly blue sky. His fingers absently found the strings and his voice came out in almost a sob:
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
He stared at the statue again.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be.
She was laughing at him, he thought – Charlie the loser, Charlie the junkie. You'll always need me, she mocked. You'll never take care of anyone!
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be
Tears streamed down his cheeks. But I can be better, he thought, Claire loves me! Loves you, Mother Mary snorted, no one loves you! Worthless, weak, scared Charlie – what is there to love?
Charlie jumped to his feet, the guitar falling silently into the sand. His face was bright red in anger and frustration. He grabbed the statue and cocked his arm back.
What do you think you're doing, the statue asked, you need me. Charlie blinked the tears from his eyes. I don't need you, he screamed inside. Yes you do, whispered the Madonna, you do and you always will.
Charlie screamed as he threw the statue as hard as he could into the sea. He could almost hear it shriek as it flew out of his hand. He sat down hard and covered his face with his hands. His body shook with convulsions as he cried. It was done – no more – done. He knew he would never go back to the plane. He would never be under the control of the brown powder again. He wiped his eyes with his palms and took a deep breath. The gentle roar of the waves calmed his soul and he smiled into the bright sunshine. He shook his head and grabbed the neck of the guitar. Standing and wiping the sand from his jeans, he slipped the guitar strap over his chest and grabbed the now lighter feeling bag. He took another deep breath and started down the path to the caves.
There will be an answer
Let it be.
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