Mr. Chairlady: hey y'all! Nice to be back. Sadly, the authoress is having writer's block on her other story so lets fill it in with this one!
The Ninja Sock: hehe...have fun reading this miina! You'll like it... ((LMAO))
Fuzzy Black Cat: ((rolls eyes)) Alright people! Back in the Host's Cage! ((bangs a huge change with McGonagall's walking shtick))
Mr. Chairlady and The Ninja Sock: ((growls while being shoved back in the cage))
A/N: seriously...read and review okei!
How Tissue Saved Me
One-shot
"Success!" Nokoru whispered as his muscles slowly relaxed. His hand went to work searching for what should be there. Unfortunately, he found it empty.
"...shit..."
Back at the council room, Suoh's cellphone rang. The urgent ringringring caused him to drop it before answering.
"Hello?"
"Uh...Suoh?"
"Kaichou! Where are you! Come here already and get started with your paperwork!"
"You see...um...I can't..."
"What! Why not?"
"Um...I'm..."
"You didn't get yourself kidnapped again did you?" asked Suoh exasparatedly.
"No, no...nothing like that."
"Then what?"
"Um...I'm...in a sort of...fix...that I...couldn't get out of?" Nokoru ended with a questioning tone as if asking Suoh if that sounded right.
"You're talking in circles Kaichou...I can't understand you."
Akira turned to look at Suoh with one eyebrow raised. "Something wrong Takamura-sempai?"
"Uh...No Ijuyn. Go back to your work."
"Suoh!" Nokoru hissed on the other line.
"What!" the ninja hissed back which completely opposed his earlier statement of nothing being wrong.
"Could you get the tissue in my drawer?" he replied in a hurried whisper.
"Tissue? What ever for?"
"Just...get it!" Nokoru said through gritted teeth.
Suoh started wondering as he walked up to the president's desk. He reddened as he realized what was happening and tugged at a closed drawer.
"Uh...Kaichou, it's locked."
"The keys...the keys...DAMNNIT! The keys are with me!"
"Alright! Alright! My tissue!" Suoh said and reddened even further.
Akira watched him curiously, thinking about Kaichou's reluctance to answer according to Suoh's replies, his (Suoh's) sudden blushes and tissue. Suddenly it came to him and he giggled.
"Akira!" Suoh barked, causing the boy to jump. "Could you get the tissue in my drawer?"
He opened the secretary's desk and pulled out with some difficulty a rather large, thick pack of facial tissues.
"We have tissue Kaichou, now where are you?"
"Somewhere...inside the campus..."
"Nokoru! Quit joking! Of course it would be impractical if you run out the gates and go somewhere else!"
"Soh-rry! I'm somewhere near the amphitheater."
"Amphitheater? But that's on the other side of the campus! What were you doing before this?" Suoh asked as he and Akira went outside the council room to look for their president.
"I was giving a lecture there about an hour ago. Then after that I felt like I needed to..."
"Needed to...?"
"Uh..."
"Spill it, Nokoru..."
"You know...move...it."
"...Then...?"
"I ran to the nearest bathroom!"
"Fine! Fine! So you're still near the amphitheater. Akira 'n I'll take the train."
"Hayaku Suoh! "
"Why? You have all your time in there..." he answered with sly amusement.
"I accidentally ran in the girls bathroom!"
:TIME LAPSE:
Nokoru sighed. He couldn't stand, he couldn't stretch, he couldn't slump. What a time for the tissue to run out. Suddenly he heard the slamming of a door and a babble of female voices. He froze.
"Did you see Nokoru-sama a while ago?"
"Yeah! He's so hot! Even if I didn't understand a word he said!"
"I wonder if he can cook?"
There was protest at this statement.
"Hey! Whose side are you on?"
"Yeah!"
"Who cares if he can cook? I just want him in bed!"
"No cooking talents needed there!"
They squealed collectively. After a pause, on of them asked.
"What time's your next class?"
"Not till 45 minutes."
"Oh mine too...let's stay here for a moment."
The girls agreed in unison. Nokoru groaned.
"Joto, miina look. There's someone in here."
Nokoru watched as shadows gathered under his stall door.
"Hey you in there," the earlier girl spoke, knocking on his door. "Come out."
This is the end. He thought
:OUTSIDE:
"This seems to be the only bathroom in the vicinity." Akira pointed out.
"Let's just hope that there aren't any girls." replied Suoh as he opened the door.
Nokoru heard a scream unlike any other. He was sure he was already deaf. Then he felt the ground shake as they girls stampeded outside to...whatever.
SilenceSsSsSs...
After a good...30 minutes (according to Nokoru's watch) the door opened yet again and heavy footsteps paced back and forth. It stopped to knock on his door.
"Hey you in there...it's cleaning time." Nokoru didn't reply.
"Fiine...I'll just wait until you come out." said the janitress and leaned on the wall beside the closed door. After 10 minutes, Nokoru saw the shadow stir.
"Oy...are you still alive?" she asked the gasped. "Oh no! There's a dead body in this cubicle! I have to go tell Imonoyama-sama!" and shuffled out the room, leaving it and its sole occupant alone.
Nokoru rolled his eyes. "Why me?" he asked out loud, his question intended to the janitress as to why to run to him when someone finds a bead body in the bathroom.
After a few more minutes...
"Where are they?" Nokoru wondered. "Hell! I could go without tissue!" he exclaimed when the door suddenly opened.
"Kaichou?"
"Finally! What took you?"
"We were chased up a tree by a mob of girls..." Akira replied.
"And we stayed there for about thirty minutes, I think." Suoh added.
"Where's the tissue?" Nokoru asked.
"Here..." Suoh approached the stall door and procceeded to give the blonde the tissue as Akira locked the door.
"Uh...Kaichou?" Came the ninja's voice. "The pack won't fit. It's too thick."
"I can see that Suoh...damn instant ramen, I'll never eat one again..." There was an angry silence before Nokoru burst out, "Just give them to me one by one!"
"Wh-what?"
"GIVE!"
Akira fought valiantly to keep a straight face as the SC secretary got a sheet of tissue and bent down to give it to Nokoru's flailing hand. The blue-haired bodyguard recoiled slightly as it was forcefully snatched from him.
"THANK GOD!"
Akira went scarlet. Suoh's left eye twitched.
"Another one..." He gave it. "YES!"
They both flinched.
"Two more..." The sheets were passed under the door.
"WHEW!" A flush was heard and a lock clicked open. The blonde grinned brightly and was about to hug his friend when Suoh said, "You could at least wash your hands!"
"Fiine..." Nokoru replied and went to the sink.
Akira's eyes widened as he heard footsteps outside. "Miina! Someone coming!"
"Here Rijichou!" said a voice outside which Nokoru recognized as the janitress'. "A dead body is in here!"
"We need to get out." Nokoru mumbled.
"How?" asked Akira.
"Suoh opened a window. "Guys! ((hahaha!))" he hissed. "Over here!"
The three of them climbed out as keys rattled and the door opened.
:TIME LAPSE:
"I wouldn't want to know what could've happened to me if you didn't show up." Nokoru told Suoh.
"Why didn't you just go to the CR near the council room and move there?"
"I would have crapped in my shorts already." he answered simply as Akira laughed.
"What's with the dead body?"
"Mm...long story. It just goes to show how stupid we get."
After a moment of silence, Suoh said, "None of this eeeever happened, okay?" and kept his tissue.
"Sure!" The blonde replied with a bright cheery smile as he passed a videotape to Akira, making sure Suoh couldn't see. The younger boy reddened as he read the label but was pleased all the same. The experience would be a nice gift for Idomu's birthday, ne?
OWARI
A/N: who knows when Idomu's birthday is? Just for fun facts...that fic was made in a bathroom while crapping. Hehe...hope you enjoyed it!