A/N: Noooooo! It's so short! I'm sorry, I had a (three day long) Family Reunion. I don't kow why we want to reunite our family, we all despise eachother with the firey passion of ten thousand burning suns, but whatever. All the grownups do is sit around and talk about air conditioning, but me and Sarah had a good laugh about grownups getting drunk, passing out and choking on their own vomit.

I told you my family was weird.

Anyway, the gist and nub is I couldn't go on the computer for three days straight, and before, my mum had painted the floor in the basement (for no apparent reason) andthat meant I couldn't go on the computer, so that was about five days of computer-less time. What a waste.

So I haven't been slacking off, it's my mum and her insanity. I hope you can forgive me for taking so long. I decided you deserved an update, no matter how short. So here it is.

Wait, I have to reply to reviews first! Gah!

DrunkenBuddie82: As it turns out, my chicken is VERY funky. But my goose isn't very loose. Thank you!

Quicksilver Foxx: You still said 'son' lol that's awesome. Thanks for the review, you're my bestest buddy.

Hit Me With a Stick: Don't mind if I do+hits you with stick+ Erm.. anyway... Thankies for thelubbly review! I'm glad you love my story. It makes me feel special.

Carnivalgirl: No worries, he really does love them. He just hasn't firgured that out yet.

Queen Red Rum: Don't worry, you won'tbe unhappywhen you get to the Asylum. It's all parties down here. Her's your update. I hope you like ;)

Headmistress Skies: It still swallowed it. Boo. But I joined through the URL on your profile. So yeeeaaahhh, I applied.

October 17th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz II
I have no backbone. I gave into his incredible skills of persuasion.

I let Sirius cut my hair.

Well, 'cut' isn't really the proper term. I should say, 'trim' or 'style.' He cut off some of the longish bits at the back, but that's really about all he did. He left the vision-impairing part and everything.

"I think you missed a spot," I said, pointing at the clump of hair that had succeeded at sticking itself in my eye.

"No, you see, you just push it to the side kind of…" I think Sirius thinks he's a hairdresser. I have said this before, and I'll say it again: I am worried for his dwindling sanity.

"I'm going to have to walk with my head on a slant so I can see." I pointed out, tilting my head (to emphasis my point) and looking at myself in mirror.

"Rem."

"What?"

"Stop talking now."

Later
It doesn't matter what I do with my hair. It grows a meter a week anyway.

October 20th
Library
Dear Galaderwalderwitz II
I really don't like being done my homework. It means I have nothing to do, unless it includes being in on one of James's hair-brained schemes to set a peanut butter-filled trap for Big Nose Kid (who is everyone's sworn enemy.). I, for one, do not fancy scrubbing hospital wing bedpans, so I have decided to sit out for the time being.

I admit, I love the library, and I love books, but there is nothing for recreational reading down here. I don't really want to learn all the symptoms of Blubberiteous right now, so I asked the librarian if there actually was anything in here that wasn't a textbook (or a old Witch Weekly magazine).

Aha! There is actually a section of recreational reading… doesn't look like anyone's been in it for a while, though…

Later
Blimey O' Reily's very ugly trousers. I know Shakespeare is supposed to be a genius and everything… but what is he going on about? I What light doth through yonder window break/I

For God's sakes, it's the bloody moon!

Moron.

October 21st
Dear G II
You can tell Halloween is near. I was going to Astronomy with my fellow Marauders, and we nearly walked into a scarecrow with a jack o' lantern head. Or more, it nearly walked into us. Then it tipped it's hat, said, "Gadzooks, I didn't see you there!" and walked away.

Not to mention Nightwish has a fan club of bats now that follow him around everywhere, and now they gang-poo on my things. Funfunfun.

I can't wait to see the decorations at the Halloween dance. They're going to have to be awfully good to top that crazy jack o' lantern man.

October 22nd
Dear Galaderwalderwitz II
James Sirius threw a Tupperware party today.

No joke.

I, as I'm sure you have noticed from weeks of being my diary, am not one to stand having a pink bowl forced on my head as a party hat.

I don't think it's necessary to go into the details, but in the end I stalked off, James had a large bruise on his jaw, Peter was squeaking incoherently, and Sirius was doing the Funky Chicken in the background.

Seriously, what planet do they come from? And how do I not go there?

Tired of barricading myself in the overly smelly loo, I have found another hideout of which I am sure the other won't come in (without my persuasion)… the library! I can always brush up on my Shakespearian English.

Later(eth)
Shakespeare, thou art a totaleth loonee and thou dressed upeth as a girleth.

Later
When I got back to the dorm room, James and Sirius were all huffy with me for not joining their Tupperware party. There was a big argument… first it started off with me having a short temper, and then it went on to me not having a sense of humor – which I do! – and it had somehow come down to me not knowing how to be annoying. Since I live to defy Sirius and everything he does, I was arguing against him.

"You've never been annoying a day in your life!" Sirius yeled.

"I have to! I can be very annoying if I want to be." I crossed my arms huffily.

"Wanna make a bet?"

"If you have the money." I won't bore you with the rest of the details; it mostly consisted with a lot of 'can not!' 'can too!' 'will not!' 'will too!' and even a couple of 'shan't!' 'shan too! …Wait…'

The nub and thrust is, from now until Halloween, I have to be very, very annoying. I have to annoy Sirius, James, and Peter, three of the most annoying people in the world.

And har-di-harhar, I think I will be able to pull this off.

I WILL have the last laugh. And he who laughs last… er… laughs the laughiest.

October 23rd
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
For once, Nightwish has inspired me. I have placed all his bits of rotting - er, actually I don't want to think of what they are bits of – around Sirius's bed. When he woke up to the horrid stench, I insisted it was aromatherapy.

Ahahahahaha.

History of Magic
I have used this valuable time to write Sirius a theme song.

(to Flinstones theme)

Sirius,
he's too serious,
He's madly in love with Pettigrew,

Sirius,
he's delirious,
Last night I saw him eating a shoe

Siri, was dancing naked on the train,
Siri, he's addicted to cocaine,

When you're, around Sirius,
Don't dress up like Bobo,
His fettish for Bobo,
Bobo the clown!

Sirius,
He's mysterious,
And he looks a bit like a toad,

Sirius,
His real name is Gus,
If we keep singing he just might explode.

We know, he won't ever get a wife,
He had, better stop running with that knife,

When you're, with this Siri,
You'll wonder why you smell thyme,
Why do you smell thyme,
Why does he smell like thyme?

Ahahaha. He who laughs last laughs last.

Lunch
"Will thou passeth thy potaters?" I asked Peter. He looked at me reeeeaaaaalllyyyy oddly. But I guess that was to be expected. I don't think he understood a word I said, because he most definitely did not pass the potatoes.

"Oi Rem, you're not bugging Petey now, are you?" James asked, looking at me in a looking-at-me way. You know what I mean.

"Thy hath be'th a loonee of thy firsteth waters!" I cried out in a poetic angst. Ha-hahaha.

After Dinner
Sirius walked into the dorm room, and I showed him how I had charmed his 'aromatherapy' to sing the theme song I made up in high-pitched voices. Turned around and left. Fortunatly, I also charmed them to follow him wherever he goes, so he never has to be without beautiful music.

Heh heh heh.

Later
Sirius was trying to do his homework (gasp! That's actually surprising!) in the common room, so I hung around over his shoulder saying, "That's not how you spelled right!" really loudly every once and a while. Hah. I love bugging Sirius.

Then that got boring. So I sat beside him, pretending to be absorbed in a book. Every few minutes I slap him in the arm and mutter 'mosquito.'

In Bed
I insisted on reading Sirius a bedtime story. So i wiggled up into his bed beside him, took up lots of room, and got out 'The Ugly Duckling.' I read it really loudly, in a helium-esque voice. Twice. Eventually he ordered me out of his bed so he could sleep.

Sirius still has't admitted I'm annoying yet. This is hard work. Oh well. I will get him yet.

Middle of the Night
I decided to jump on his bed in the middle of the night and shout, "Pineapples! Have you got any pineapples!"

October 24th
Dear Galaderwalderwitz II
I woke Sirius today by stuffing the Daily Prophet.

He sat up, glared at me and said, "Pineapples."

I grinned widely and replied, "Having nightmares again, Siri-poo?" And went down to breakfast humming his theme song.

At the doors to the Great Hall, I waited for him. Right before he entered the hall, i jumped through the doors and said (very loudly), "Here is the man who not only has a brilliant mind and wonderful wit, but can also sing!"

Needless to say, he was very confused when he walked in and everybody in the hall froze and stared at him.

"What did you do, Remus?"Sirius asked in an annoyed tone.

"Yes, we have no bananas." I replied. He smacked himself in the forehead exasperatedly.

History of Magic
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha SUCCESS! On the way to History of Magic, I was singing the Sirius Black Theme Song. As you may have noticed, he has not been in a good mood today. He snapped at me.

"Will you shut up? You're so annoy-" He stopped suddenly, realizing what he was saying. I laughed.

"Hahaha you said it! You said it! I win! You owe me three Galleons! Hahaha! I won!" I danced.

"SHUT UP!" He said viciously.

"Geez, you don't have to have a nervy b," I said, and skipped off ahead of him. Ha hahaha ha. I win. I won. I had the last laugh.

And he who laughs last... er... thinks the slowest.

Wait... oh, whatever.

Potions
Sirius sent me a note.

Yes, I admit it, You are VERY good at being annoying. Now you can't annoy me any more, so you need someone else to annoy. But I wouldn't want your talents to be wasted...

I wrote him back.

And WHAT do you mean by THAT?

He wrote back,

I'm just suggesting we annoy someone else. Someone like... my good pal, Snapey.

He grinned evilly at me, and I frowned.

I think my just being alive annoys him. He's glaring at me at this very moment.

Strangely enough, he was. He's a very creepy kid.

October 25th
Even though I really didn't want to, and I most certainly didn't plan on it, I find myself being the mastermind behind James and Sirius's evil plans.I guess I owe them, for being so annoying.

Oh well. At least now we have pictures of Sirius sitting on top of Snape to laugh at.

The picture keeps acting out what happened over and over again. You'd think they'd do something else. But no, it's just Snape sucking up to his third year buddies, Malfoy and his cronies, then Sirius running up, tackling him, sitting on him, and getting up and running away again.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.