A/N: Hello, my small chums! I hope you are partying it up wherever you may be. Here is chapter Shorty McShort Short. I'm going to my dad's house for the weekend (Thursday, Firday, Saturday AND Sunday) and he does not have internet. Which means I have to update with whatever I have now, or else you will all be sad pandas whilst I'm away. But luckily, I will be VERY bored on the weekend, and if I can get my dad's Stef-Hating computer to work, I will probably be able to write a chapter or two. So look for another chapter Sunday night/Monday morning.

Alrighty, then. This would be the part just for people who are cool enough to review, so if you are not cool enough to review, skip to the line that means the story starts.

RenegadeChicklet: I like lime green. Oo No, it's this really ugly grey/blue colour that apparently I picke dout. Well, thats what I've been informed, anyway. But we all know that Mum is not entirly sane at the best of times. Thanks for reviewing!

sari5156: Normal people's family reunions might look like people laughing and dancing, but mine looksmore like whales sunbathing, people glaring at eachother, and babys poking people in inappropriate places. Gah. We should make some sort of ban on family reunions.

Carnivalgirl: Aww, glad you loved it. Here's an update, hopefully this will keep you amused until I get my lazy butt updating again.

Jenna Lawrence: Glad you like. Hope this chappie is up to snuff ;)

Queen Red Rum: He grounded you fro escaping from the funny farm? Now that's just unfair. Parents are always grounding us innocent children for the strangest of things, like failing drama (don't ask me how I did it, but it happened). P

Morei Sky: I didn't think that so many people had read the Georgia Nicolson books! I guess the 'New York Times Bestseller' thing should have tiped me off... -.-; well, I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for reviewing!

Zaurak: Thank you! I'm glad people are enjoying this, and that I haven't written something that wasn't utter crap :)

Sapphire Dragons: My brother said that it reminded him of Charlie Brown, because Remus is always saying 'good grief.' Weird. I've never even seen the show, so it's completely accidental. Of course, when you said this, it made me realize I hadn't ben doing the disclaimer at all. Wow, that's pretty embarassing. Well, I'd better do that now.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does because she's cooler than me. I don't own any Harry Potter characters, but Louise and Jenni are mine. I don't own Angus, Thongs and Ful-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison does because she's too clever to live. I don't own Peanuts or Charlie Brown of whatever the show is called. I don't even own most of the events that happen in this story, it's quite sad, really. I do own a lovely bird named Ricardo, not that he's in this story but after saying all this stuff that I don't own it makes me feel unimportant and I want to rub it in your face that I own something that you don't. So ha.

Friday, October 31st
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Good grief, your name is too long to live. I'll have to change it to something shorter and snappier.

Of course, I am much to distressed to think of anything right now.

As you know, or should know if you have half a brain, today was Halloween. Ugh. SO EMBARASSING. I really am going to have to kill James and Sirius for dragging me into their little… whatist. And kill Peter too, just because I don't like him.

Well, today was Halloween. Like I mentioned before. But the point is, it was Halloween. James and Sirius decided it would be brilliantly funny to go to the day's classes dressed in Halloween costumes. The teachers have, unfortunately, given up on trying to stop them from doing anything that they ever do.

So I had to go about my day with a clown, a vampire, and Father Christmas. Well, I'm not actually sure if Peter was supposed to be Father Christmas, but he sure looked like it. He had a brown fake beard attached to his chin(s), but it got kind of off-white after he attempted to eat porridge with it on.

And as if that all wasn't embarrassing enough, they decided I was going to dress up, too.

But oh no, if I'm going down, I'm going down kicking and screaming.

In the end, James had to use his brilliant transfiguration skills (which I admit are better than mine) to turn my robes into a pink dress. Unfortunately, this was at breakfast, and something like that does not exactly go unnoticed.

As you can imagine, I got very angry - wouldn't you? – and demanded James turn my robes back.

Then Sirius said, "Alright, Rem, you can ruin our fun if you want to," And he, James and Peter got all quiet and mopey. Which I'm sure is very difficult to do, when you're wearing a big red clown nose. But then I felt all guilty, and had to let them leave me in the dress.

Then Sirius said brightly, "Thanks, Remmie! I knew you'd come around!" Shoved plastic Mickey Mouse ears on my head, and skipped off to class.

Oh, the embarrassment! I'm never going to see the light of day again. I'll become a British Boo Radley and live in my root cellar. If I even have a root cellar.

Right-o, then, I'll start tomorrow.

Saturday, November 1st
8 am (ish)
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Practising living in solitude for the rest of my life when James woke up and demanded to know why I was under my bed. He and Sirius tried everything to get me out, bribing, threatening, and even pulling me by the ankles.

In the end, Peter farting loudly caused the three of us to evacuate the room.

8:15 (ish)
We can't go down to breakfast, because we're still in our jimjams. James won't even let us go down to the common room, because he's wearing his embarrassing ones with pink hearts. We can't go back into the room, for obvious reasons (Peter.). So we're just sitting in the stairwell.

It's very uncomfortable, because the three of us are all squished up at the door. Sirius and James are not very squishy people. Actually, they're kind of muscley, which is really creepy. Well, anyway, I barely have room to breathe. I also don't have enough energy to tell James to shut up, so unfortunately, we have to listen to him ramble on about Lily, who he can see from here. And that, as usual, means his brain has fallen out.

"Maybe I should ask her out…" He said dreamily.

"Ask her out where? In case you haven't noticed, we're at a boarding school. We can't go OUT anywhere." Sirius said flatly.

"Well… third years get to go to Hogsmead!" James pointed out.

"Oh yes, that'll go over real well. 'Do you wanna go out with me in two years? Great, thanks, see ya later.'" I told him sarcastically. Hopefully he's not too stupid to figure out that that was sarcasm.

Luckily, the conversation did not have to carry on much longer, because at that point, Peter managed to break down the door and send us all toppling to the bottom of the stairs.

It's very hard to live in solitude when your friends are intent on killing you.

11(ish… maybe?)
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Had to get Peter to bring me food from the breakfast table, because I am too busy hermiting it up under my bed to go and get some myself. (Actually, I was fixing the door while everyone else was enjoying breakfast, because I didn't want to get in trouble for breaking it down.)

It was really gross though, because he put fried eggs in a napkin and rolled it up to bring it to me. Bleh. I'll have to go down to get my own lunch.

After dindins… I'm not even going to try to guess what time it is
Hiding under the bed again. But this time, I'm not practising living in solitude. I'm hiding from James and Sirius, who are trying to get me to go to a Halloween/Happy November party. I don't know why the party wasn't thrown yesterday… on Halloween… but whatever.

The reasons I'm so intent on not going are because A) I have bad memories from last month's 'Happy October' party and B) I have to dress up. I've had enough dressing up to last a lifetime.

I shot under my bed when I saw them dressing up after dinner. It appears they're going in different costumes than yesterday. James is putting on some sort of misshapen wings… I think he's supposed to be a dragon/human hybrid. Peter is wearing a giant M&M. He doesn't look a whole lot different, except redder. Sirius is going as – I shudder at the thought – a werewolf. Of course, he doesn't actually look like a werewolf… otherwise he'd be dressing up as me. No, he's wearing normal clothes, with bits of grey fur sticking out of places, and false fangs on. I don't know how he thinks that is a werewolf, but that is what he is wearing.

Now they are trying to convince me to come out. I don't think anything they could possibly do or say could make me spend the night at a party with a bunch of badly dressed prats (i.e., them).

"You're not trying to be a hermit again, are you?" James asked.

"Come on out, Rem. We can wear matching false ears!" Sirius dangled them over the edge of my bed. Good grief. Now he thinks I'm a cat. Yay.

"I'm not coming to the stupid party, and they're nothing you can say to make me change my mind." I told them forcefully.

Ten Minutes later (ish)
At the stupid party. They did that whole getting-quiet-and-making-me-feel-guilty business again. Of course, they wouldn't let me go to the party without dressing up. So I'm a 'goth.' I'm wearing all black muggle clothes, thick black eyeliner, black nail polish, and black lipstick.

Now that I think about it, I should really ask Sirius why he has all this makeup stuff. Veeerrrryyy suspicious.

Haha, James is making a prat out of himself. Lily is dressed up as an angel (i.e., wearing wings and all white).

"We're both wearing wings? See? That means we're destined to be together." James said in an all-knowing tone and Lily just rolled her eyes and left.

Peter is lumbering around in his giant M&M costume, breaking things. I think he thinks he's dancing.

Sirius is following James around, and from time to time bringing me snacks and trying to make me socialize.

Jenni and Louise came over to hang out with me. They were with Lily, but James is annoying the daylights out of her, and that makes her a very irritable person to be around. Plus, if they're standing with me, Peter won't try to dance with them, a.k.a. trample them. Jenni was dressed as a muggle ("If they can dress up as witches, why can't we dress up as muggles?") and Louise was a fairy.

"You look cool in that," Jenni told me. But we all know that more often then not, she is insane.

"No I don't." I informed her. Best to get the truth into her now, I say.

Then, instead of a reply, Jenni poked me. SHE POKED ME. It was a disturbing experience and I have been shaken to the core. Then, Louise giggled, and poked me.

THEY WERE BOTH POKING ME.

Oh Lordy.

They kept poking me until I thought my brain would implode, and thankfully, I had to go save Peter from an angry fifth year he tried to trample. After that, I dashed up to the dorm where I am currently hiding under my covers.

Sunday, November 2nd
Dear Galaderwalderwitz the Second
Quidditch match today, Ravenclaw versus Slytherin. James is even less normal than usual, as he LOVES Quidditch and is all hyped up for the match. Sirius is glad that something exciting is happening that does not involve a detention. Peter is squeakier than usual, but I have no idea what that means.

I told Sirius and James that they would have to drag me by my ears to get me to go to the Quidditch match. Unfortunately they actually grabbed my ears and started pulling. So now I'm at a Quidditch match, wedged between Hyper and Loser (Sirius and Peter) plus my ears really hurt.

A/N: Yay! That's it for my uber-short chapter of DHOOM. I would just like to say, this chapter is dedicated to The Phobia, who I spotted at Swiss Chalet a couple of nights ago, and then for some reason that got te banana phone song stuck in my head. Not that that really has anything to do with anything, but it's a fact.

Toodle pip!
Mandarb xxx