The Very Thought of You
Chapter Four

Night had fallen over Alex and Robert's small campsite. Robert had said very little about his past, instead asking Alex about hers. After talking a while, Alex relaxed a bit and decided that maybe she could trust him, though she hadn't disregarded her previous instincts. She was tapping a stick to the ground when the statement came out of no where from within her:

I want to know about my father.

She looked up at Robert who was sitting across from her over the fire.

The truth, she added flatly.

Robert sighed, and Alex studied him as he did so. She could tell that he knew there was no way out of it. To make it easy(and to assure her the truth) Alex was trying to see' straight through him, figure out what was going on, but it was like she was dead. Any kind of psychic power she had seemed useless. In defeat, Alex knew the most she could do would be to sit here and listen to what he had to say.

Your father, Richard Rousseau? Robert began.

Alex held her breath. This was it, she knew, the beginning of the truth. She was about to be hurt beyond anything she could ever imagine. She could sense that much.

He really is your father, Alex felt herself let out a sigh of relief as Robert continued, but his last name isn't Rousseau- he looked at Alex in a mixture of sympathy and seriousness, it's Franklin. Alex said before allowing herself to comprehend this new information, but that's my uncle's last name and he's..wait, he's not really my mother's brother, is he?

Robert looked down, and Alex knew she was right.

I don't believe it! She exclaimed, furious. But why would..what was the point of lying about that? And what the hell did you mean by you were my father?Technically who you mentioned, Richard, is your father, Robert said slowly, well, or should I say biologically- he looked lost in memory for a moment, you have his eyes.

Alex paused, unsure of what to say or think, so she stuck with: I met your mom at this French restaurant while she was checking into an expedition, Robert continued, remenicing in his mind as he spoke, a five months in the South Pacific researching radiation and its effects. Your father was against it, naturally with the baby and all, but it was an opportunity of a lifetime. She was going to go to Paris, just to check it out.

His French accent didn't match the American phase check it out'.

She met me and.. Robert continued the sentence with a trace of regret in his voice, we fell in love.

Alex was stunned. How could her mother do such a thing? And while she was pregnant, nonetheless? Alex felt betrayed, hurt.

Your father found out and he was furious, Robert continued, despite Alex's reverie, naturally, of course. So he left your mom, and left you with us. He didn't want anything to do with you.

Looking deeply into the fire, Alex couldn't believe what she was saying. This was a nightmare, she told herself, she'd wake up and be back at the caves. She never ran away. She was at the caves with Jack and Kate. This was just a dream, or at the least, a waking dream.

We left for the expedition seven months later, Robert went on, and then a few weeks in, we shipwrecked and landed here.But she was still pregnant with me, Alex said, coming out of her daze and looking up at Robert, so that means..You were born on the island, Robert finished with a nod, but you were kidnapped. I don't know what happened to you or where they took you- whoever they were- but eventually, you got back to your father, who was forced to take you back in.

Alex stared back down to the fire, though only vaguely aware of where she was, or Robert's words as he continued to speak. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes and she blinked rapidly to try and stop them from flowing.

This had to be a lie. Her father loved her..he told her show. He had never shown any signs otherwise and she had never sensed any either. When Richard had died three years ago, those had been real tears Alex had cried during his funeral, not those out of sympathy. She would've known she had been living a lie..right?

So what about my uncle? Alex asked, wondering how worse this story could possibly get.

Robert shrugged.

That must've been your father's doing, Robert said simply, I guess he just wanted to make the story..more believable. In case you ever asked about your heritage. Alex shook her head, Arnie he..doesn't even look French. He looks Mexican. And Franklin..that's not a very French name like.. Alex realized what she was saying, Rousseau is..my father switched names. Why?I think he didn't want to make himself look like a bad guy, Robert said thoughtfully, he didn't want there to be any question about the past.This is all.. Alex stared into the fire and then shook her head again, looking up at Robert, it doesn't make sense.I know, Robert said quietly, I'm sorry.Don't be, Alex muttered as she leaned back against her backpack, ignoring Robert as she stared back into the fire, it's not your fault my life is so screwed up.

As Alex drifted back into her daze, only half aware that what she said wasn't entirely true.

(Space)

Jack watched from the cave entrance as Kate presented Sawyer with something that looked nicely folded and oddly like..a shirt?

What the hell is this? Sawyer laughed, unfolded what looked like a plaid black and gray shirt.

You're not planning on wearing that disgusting piece of fabric forever, are you? Kate said.

From her spot beside Sawyer, Kate spotted Jack leaning against the cave entrance, watching them. Though the cave atmosphere seemed light for once, Jack seemed hurt, and Kate threw him a sympathetic smile, though she knew that wouldn't make much of a difference. Jack just shook his head, and quickly and quietly, walked into his caves where he stayed for a good while until he returned with some medicine for Sawyer. He didn't say a word to Kate as he explained the instructions for taking the pills. Sawyer would occasionally nod or throw in a sarcastic comment, and Kate knew from the look on Jack's face that he was doing everything he could from losing it. Once finished Jack stood up and walked away, like nothing had happened.

So where were we? Sawyer asked with a smirk.

Staring after Jack, Kate knew she should go after him, but she also knew that she couldn't just leave Sawyer either.

I hope it's your size, Kate said, hearing her voice echo in her head as if someone else was speaking. She turned back to Sawyer and smiled. They didn't have that big of a selection.

(Space)

That evening at the beach, Sayid decided that it would be a good idea to start the signal fire again, just in case the other rafties were lost at sea. Boone was helping Sayid with the wood, and Shannon had been following Sayid around, tailing him like a cat wanting food.

Why do you keep ignoring me? Shannon demanded, catching herself before tripping in the sand.

I'm sorry, Sayid said curtly, I thought it was you who was mad at me.

Shannon let out a groan of frustration, and Boone attempted:

Maybe you're both trying to talk to each other but keep missing it when you're ignoring each other..

Boone realized what he was saying was making no sense.

Never mind.

Shannon and Sayid glared.

How hard is it to tell the truth for once? Shannon inquire rather loudly into Sayid's ear.

It's harder for some of us to tell the truth than others, Sayid said sternly, glancing towards Boone, who was acting like he wasn't paying attention, as he did so.

But why? Shannon wanted to know in a whiny tone.

Sayid was beginning to get the feeling of a parent whose child was begging for candy at a store.

All right, he said, surprising even himself, I'll tell you.

He paused before throwing the last stick of wood into the fire, and even Boone could feel the tension in the air. Shannon just stared at him.

You will? She asked, incredulous.

Sayid looked down to the sand.

Follow me.Hey Kate, you coming to bed? Jack asked around the equivalent of midnight that night.

To avoid Sawyer and Kate's laughter and conversation, Jack had headed out by himself into the jungle to look for any possible traces of the other rafties, Alex, or the ones who attacked them, despite Sayid's claims. He was finally forced by darkness to come back later on, only to find Sawyer and Kate and the same positions, laughing at some joke or story.

And then I told the guy, Sawyer was saying, almost sounding drunk, if your wife weren't so damn fat-

Kate hadn't even heard him. Hell, he thought, she probably had never noticed he had entered, or even left.

he said again, flatly.

Both Kate and Sawyer looked up, Kate guilty, Sawyer glaring.

You coming? He finished in one breath.

Kate looked from Jack and then to Sawyer before saying what he had feared.

she said, trying to hide her excitement from Sawyer's story, I think I'm going to stay out here for a while.

Jack's lips lay in a pursed line as he tried to hide his hurt feelings. To help himself, he didn't say anything as he turned, and disappear into his cave. He was only inside a few minutes by himself before Kate entered, looking furious.

What is with you? She demanded.

I'm sorry, he said sarcastically, throwing a blanket on the ground where he intended to sleep, I'm not the one out there flirting with Sawyer. You tell me.Are you listening to yourself? Kate said drastically. 'Flirting with Sawyer'. Are you serious?When I think I'm in a relationship and see you out there talking to another guy all day then yeah, Jack said, looking up at Kate, I am.He almost died out there! Kate exclaimed. He could be dead now! Three other people who he's clearly grown close to our still missing. I'm kind of trying to keep his moral up.Sawyer doesn't have Jack snorted, he thinks you're coming onto him.He does not! Kate couldn't believe what she was hearing. He just needs someone to be there for him, just like you. Jack shook his head, not just like me. Sawyer doesn't care if there's anyone there for him. His first few weeks on the island should've told you that.

Jack was regretting what he was saying even as he said it and Kate couldn't believe him either. She had thought that Jack and Sawyer were on some kind of good term but now Kate was thinking she had guessed wrong. Kate stared at him long and hard before answering.

Then you don't know him.

Holding her gaze for another moment, Kate spun around, her ponytail slapping against her neck(unusually cool, she was still getting used to not being in the heat and sun all day) and left, leaving Jack standing there helpless, and slightly confused.

Author's Note: Don't worry! Things will get better, I promise! I actually have Crazyhorsegirl88 to thank for most of the J/K stuff..and getting them back together;) Sorry for the lack of updates. Like I said, writer's block. Thanks for the reviews! You guys rock!

Coming up next, on The Very Thought of You:

I think this might be a song chapter to Stand By Me, but I'm not sure. No matter what, it won't be the last chapter unless I end up able to fit everything into one long chapter. Anyway, makeups, breakups, and heartaches..well, not big break ups, I'm not sure yet. and the heart ache doesn't necessarily belong in a relationship.

Thanks and sorry again!

Until next time..

+ October Sky