She's sitting alone in her living room, staring at the TV even though it's not turned on. Every now and then her eyes would flick to the picture sitting on the shelf above the TV, one that had until recently always brought a small smile to her face.
She remembers the day it was taken two years ago; Buffy was on a vacation from Rome and she, Xander and herself had gone out for a picnic in the park. Faith was in Moscow on assignment so she couldn't go with them and they had all felt disappointed, but didn't let it spoil the mood.
It had been the first time that they had been in the same place at the same time for more than a few hours in years; in fact the last time had been together for more than a day was when they had all relocated to Cleveland after they had dealt with the First. Not long after that they had all gone their separate ways, all needed in different parts of the world.
They had talked and generally enjoyed each other's company, it had felt like old times when they all still lived in Sunnydale and only lived a few minutes away from each other. When someone from Xander's construction company walked past, he had asked him to take a photo of the three of them. Xander was in the middle, Buffy to his right and she was on his left. She hadn't seen a smile so bright or so wide on her sister's face in years and she had always turned to that photo when she had been feeling down as it always had a way of making her feel better.
The only problem was that she knew that a photo was the only place she'd ever see that smile again, at least until she joined her sister and mother in heaven. She knew that it would be a long time until she saw the smile that Xander had in the photo as well, but she hoped that it wouldn't be long.
She had been putting off going to see Xander for several reasons, but mainly because she just didn't know what to say to him. She knew that she was part of the reason he didn't go to the service, fearing what she might say. Then there was the fact that he's the only person that has seen her lifeless body on all three occasions, and that he barely got through her funeral the last time.
She hadn't been part of the search for her sister so she didn't see her, but the haunted look on Willow's face as she came over and told her they found her body made her thankful that she didn't.
There was a small, very small, part of her that blamed him for what happened, and she was afraid that she would shout and scream at him if she saw him. She knew that he'd expect it; he no doubt blames himself anyway and feels that he deserves it. She knows in her heart of hearts that he's blameless, he had no way of knowing how things were going to turn out. The only person to blame was Faith.
She had been the most vocal about not trusting Faith after they dealt with the First, stating firmly that she needed to go back to prison. She didn't go back and soon became a trusted member of the team, but she still had held steadfast that she wasn't to be trusted. It had taken her a long time, but she came round just like everyone else had, and was even a bridesmaid at her and Xander's wedding. They all thought Faith had changed; there had been no signs, no indication that Faith had gone rogue once more, not until that horrendous night.
She knew that Faith was going to go after Xander next, and was petrified that she would lose him as well. She knew that he wouldn't go without a fight, but he would be aiming to take her with him, not to escape. She needs to give him a reason to keep going, something to keep him with her, with them all.
A scream brings her out of her thoughts and she speeds her way upstairs and into the guest bedroom. Turning on the light, the little eight-year-old girl that was sleeping there was tossing and turning in her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks and screaming at the top of her lungs even though she's obviously still asleep.
She goes over to her slowly, knowing that waking her suddenly from such a nightmare would only cause her more stress. She slowly starts stroking her hair while making soft, soothing sounds in her ear. It takes a while, but the girl starts to calm down and a few minutes later she slowly opens her eyes, squinting to get used to the brightness of the room.
"Mommy?" the little girl mumbled sleepily.
Hearing the hope in the little girls voice causes more tears to appear in her eyes. She can't bear to answer the question, so she asks one of her own.
"Lexie, are you alright?"
She knew that the question was stupid the moment it left her lips, but that was all she could think to say.
"I had a bad dream. Mommy always chases the bad dreams away; she says it's her job. I want my Mommy," she sobbed.
Seeing the look that her niece was sending her shattered her already broken heart once again. She had a pout that made her look so much like her mother, combined with those chocolate brown eyes that were just filled with sorrow, a look she inherited from her father. She gathers the child up in her arms and gently rocks back and forth while gently rubbing her back. "I know you do baby, I want your Mommy here too."
They stay that way for a while, Lexie crying softly in her aunt's arms. After about half an hour, a clearly tired Lexie looks up ate her aunt.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asks hopefully.
"Of course I will." She replies, kissing her forehead.
"Thanks Auntie Dawn," she said before drifting off to sleep once more.
She gently puts Lexie back under the covers and gets in beside her, Lexie holding on to her like she was the only thing keeping her alive. That's probably not too far from the truth; Buffy had proven that Summers women made great mother's and their bond had been as strong, maybe even stronger, than hers and Buffy's had been to their own mother.
She would be here for Lexie for as long she needed her, but she knew that there was only one person that would be able to help her get over what has happened. She needs her father, the only person who could make her mother smile no matter the circumstances, but she doesn't even know who he is. Maybe it's time she found out.