The Sound of Silence
The only sound that inevitably broke the oppressive silence finally came from frustration. Sara Sidle, standing motionless and glaring into her empty locker, threw her ID badge in an attempt to break the furious pounding from her veins that threatened to consume her.
Silence. Loneliness. Bitterly, Sara recognised these expressions were all too common in her life. She was also coherently aware of her inability to do anything about it, as she scanned through her cell phone numbers and deleted where appropriate. Biting at her lip, Sara then callously plunged the object in a similar direction.
"I've got plenty of exes that you could kick the shit out of instead of that locker"
Overwhelmed by her thoughts, Sara hadn't heard Catherine enter the room. As much as she hated the perpetual sense of only having her own company to contend with, right now Sara appreciated the time to stew over the unanswered questions she never had the chance to say.
"Sorry Cath" An apology she didn't mean, but felt obliged to mutter all the same. "Bad day"
"Same old, same old"
At any other point, Sara would have gratefully indulged in Catherine's ever bitter, cynical view on life that in spite of the difficulties, would somewhere along the line prove not only true, but witty. The beers they had shared after arduous shifts that digressed into venting sessions had, on many occasions, been Sara's way of dealing. But in the last few months, she had hoped the difference in her life by a singular person compelled her to see the world in a different light. God knows she had been close, anyhow. Shaking her head slightly, Sara condemned herself for being so foolish; after all, nobody was ever going to replace the long distant memory she had of the only person she had ever let her guard down for.
"Never a good omen to have a crap day before an even worse shift, Sara"
Watching Catherine only added to her fuel. So elegant, yet wise. Sure, Cath Willows had experienced her share of life-altering scenario's, but for some reason she always rose above it. It was an attribute Sara was only to aware of, and envious of in equal measures.
"You don't need to remind me" After spitting out the words, Sara understood the somewhat negative tone she had resembled. Trying to redeem herself, she shot a weak smile towards her colleague. "I'm just going to do what I always do; submerge myself in work and forget I exist outside of these four walls"
"That's not healthy, Sara" Catherine looked over, concerned and shrugged her petite shoulders before leaving the room.
"It's the only thing I can cling onto"
It only came out as a whisper, but a sentiment so strong, Sara realised words need not ever convey it as anything else.
-
"How's Hank?"
Nick Stokes, ever the gossip, threw the question in the air nonchalantly whilst lobbing a ball to and from with Warrick Brown. It was a question Sara knew was ever present, yet one that today, of all days, she prayed would be forgotten in the continuum that the night shift would provide. Trying to ignore it, Sara instead flicked a pen between her fingers, desperately trying to salvage some kind of intelligent retort she could shoot back and end Nick's pursuit of gossip mid air. Fortunately, she didn't have to; the lingering figure of Gil Grissom entered the room and put a stop to idle chit-chat immediately.
"Evening" His assured, yet mysterious stance silenced the room and all eyes flocked to him as the they found out their fate for the next eleven hours. "Cath, you're with Warrick – Suicide on a rail track just outside the city"
Sara smiled inwardly at Grissom's approach. Investigation wasn't a job for him; it was his life. His path on discovery and knowledge, interrupted by nothing. Nobody stood in his way, and if anyone dared to, they soon knew about it. But Gil had a different aura to him than most residents in Nevada. It was almost as if he didn't belong, his intelligence and grace a gift from some unknown that placed him so far out of normality it only added to Sara's feeling of awe, on so many levels. This man needed no introductions, nor did he command them.
"Nick, you are with me – Unsolved missing college girl, you know what to do"
Immediately Nick rose from his seat, muttered something illegible and paced out of the room.
"Sara..."
She noted it was the first time he had paused, and casting his eyes over her, Sara felt a rush of excitement. The thrill of solo jobs were only beaten by the pride of solving cases, and with a distinct lack of them recently she recognised that any chance to work by herself instantly gave her the chance to shine.
"Female 414 in Lakeside – Boyfriend has magically disappeared too. Take Greg if you want, but I'm sure you'll take it alone" Allowing a smile to play on her lips, Sara conveyed her thanks to her supervisor with an appreciative look. As much as she felt inferior to Grissom at times, she could identify with him on many levels.
-
Her ability to throw herself head first into her job with no regard for social activities both mystified and baffled her colleagues with the exception of Gil, who refused to become involved with the rumours about Sara's separate life. In fact, the thought alone was enough to scare him and instead, he continually find determination to extract himself from whatever lives his team had outside of the lab. In all fairness, as much as he respected them, what they done out of work was neither a concern of his nor his business. But Sara Sidle was a different matter all together, and a matter he struggled to comprehend in his head.
As he watched her leave the room, the small smile she had given him moments beforehand replayed in his mind, and sighing as he was left alone, Gil took a large inhalation of breath and realised this was just another night that he would run from his thoughts and forget the memories from the past.