Chapter 5: Emotions

Chapter 5 dedicated to: titans101

I GET IT ALREADY! Robin, we'll have her back at the tower ASAP. But really, dude, we can't go any faster than we already are. You're only a block in front of us anyhow so just shut the hell up! Cyborg's weary voice buzzed through the speaker. Robin sighed and flipped the communicator shut with one hand, the other steering the R-cycle rapidly towards home… But then again, if home is where the heart is… then Robin's home was currently the back of the T-car by a slumbering alien girl.

The metal titan was rightfully irritated, though. Within the first ten minutes of their fifteen minute drive back towards the tower, Robin had told Cyborg to hurry up eight times. Cyborg understood Robin's concern but… jeez….

They finally pulled up the drive to Titans Tower and quickly ushered themselves into the garage. Raven reappeared in an obsidian portal to the T-Car's left. Robin, who had gotten their but minutes earlier, rushed to the back of the T-car and carefully lifted Starfire out. He felt better with her in view. He had felt as if he had been failing her by leaving her all alone in the T-car for the entire ride back… despite the presence of Cyborg.

Beast Boy came careening into the garage now, shifting clumsily back into his usual form and panting. "Gawd, you guys were like… speeding… a lot…" Beast Boy whined.

"How articulately put," Raven mumbled. Beast Boy chanced a glare in her direction and the dark girl returned the gesture gladly. Robin growled, catching the other's attentions.

"Starfire. Needs. Assistance. Now," he bit out carefully. He wanted all the shard business to just die. Raven rolled her indigo eyes and marched into the tower, the others falling into a sort of line as they journeyed, once again, to the infirmary. Robin laid her gently on one of the beds for the second time that day, placing her down in such a way that it seemed he was afraid of breaking her delicate figure. Raven smirked. Despite the Tamaranian's obvious human-surpassing strength, Robin still acted as if she were fragile china. "Raven. Does this have anything to do with her new… erm… powers?" Robin inquired.

Raven tilted her head to the side thoughtfully. "Perhaps. If she has indeed gained telekinetic powers through these shards then it is quite possible she expelled power to fast and was simply exhausted to the point she collapsed. It's like… a muscle one hasn't used for a very long time. She used her new 'muscle' too hard this first time and um, 'strained' it," Raven mused. Robin stared at the girl carefully.

"So you're telling me… that Starfire can now use some form of telekinesis… and that she probably fainted because… she got too tired…" Robin said slowly. Raven shrugged and nodded.

"More or less. Or… that's the best thing I can guess," she replied.

"When will she wake up?"

"I don't know that…"

"I thought you were psychic or something!"

"Empath. Not Psychic, not telepathic either. Just… an Empath. A half-demon… empath," Raven clarified, talking as if to a young child.

"You can't see into the future at all?" Robin asked skeptically. He had been sure…

"I can see into the future, but not on my whim. It comes and goes. Either way, she looks, um, stable enough." Raven muttered. Robin gritted his teeth.

"Stable enough isn't good enough. I want her awake. I want her smiling and telling us we're victorious. I want her to look at me and I look back and not see worry in her eyes. I want her to be free of the damn key… shard… WHATEVER!" He gestured angrily with his arms. Raven stared back, monotone. Cyborg quietly shuffled to hook Starfire up to monitors and such to check exactly how stable she was.

"Your emotions are acting up, Robin. Keep this in perspective," Raven reprimanded. Beast Boy edged back a few steps at the explosive look that slammed onto Robin's face.

"What's that supposed to mean! I'm concerned about a teammate Raven. She's… she's… comatose ok! I'm not the one with things out of perspective, Raven. You're treating this like it's nothing at all. I tried to do that and all it got me was Starfire going through some damn awakening. Those shard things about drained her power completely earlier and now she's unconscious.

"I can't take just standing around, waiting for her to hop up from that bed and say everything is ok only to suppress the fear I know is there. She's trying to hide it, but she's worried. I can see it. And Raven, maybe it's time you got a little worried too. Don't even get me started on what happened back at the lake…" Robin stopped his ranting as Raven's gaze traveled blankly from him to further back in the room. Cyborg and Beast Boy had stopped their actions as well.

"Robin, you do not know what happened back at the lake. There is nothing for you to 'get started' on," Starfire's soft voice shattered through his anger. Robin whirled to face her bed. The alien was propped up on her elbows, obviously still fatigued, and staring at him with those unwavering, emerald eyes of hers. Cyborg lifted his hands up and walked out before he could get himself involved in any further conversation. Emotions were beginning to build to a strenuous level.

Perhaps Robin was right to tell Raven they needed to stop ignoring the shards… but then again, they all had tried. Including the Boy Wonder himself. He just came to the realization it wasn't working a bit faster then the rest of the team. It was wrong, however, for Robin to even suggest that Raven wasn't worried about their friend. He knew better than most that Raven could not help but remain unattached to the situation in order to keep from wreaking unintentional havoc over the tower.

Beast Boy scurried after Cyborg, uninterested in watching the staring match that was now ensuing between Robin and Starfire. Raven glared at the young man. "You have no place to tell me if I am worried or not," She snapped and then marched out the door, fists clenched.

"Starfire…" Robin began. Star cut him off with a bow of her head, breaking the lock of gazes.

"It is true. I myself am not sure of what happened, so you have no clue as to what happened either. Either way, what happened… happened," Starfire murmured. Robin sighed and sat at the edge of her infirmary bed and laid a hand on her knee.

"Star, I know I don't understand what happened. All I know is that it hurt you. All I know is that I am completely clueless as to what it is that is bringing fear to your eyes. And I can't do anything to help. I hate that," he said. Starfire looked up and frowned.

"But you have helped so much… I appreciate you simply being at my side. But really… you ought not to have said those things to Friend Raven. She is different. You know that. She has her reasons to feel the way she does and act the way she does. All we can do is be honored that she would call us her friends," Star slid back onto her pillow and took a soft breath. Robin grimaced.

"You make her sound like a saint… or something. Why do you have to find positive things in everything?" he asked. It was an odd question, he supposed, but he wondered none the less.

"It makes life a bit easier to go through," she shrugged on her bed and yawned. "I am so tired… my head aches and my wrists… they burn terribly," she muttered. Robin lightly took her hands and slid off her gloves to examine the symbols on her wrists. He shook his head and helped put the gloves back on.

"Starfire… Kori…" he made a move to say more but found he was suddenly at a loss of words. What was he supposed to do? He was finally letting himself face the fact that something was happening to Starfire and it had destructive possibilities. Robin didn't know how to take it. Finally, he sighed and began to slide off the bed, thinking to retreat to his own room. Maybe he'd stop by the computer laboratory for a while… he just needed time to sort things in his head.

Starfire's touch stopped him. "Richard. Do not worry for my situation. I can do that plenty well myself… if anything… I am going to need you to be very strong in the coming days… I will need you to-to make sure our friendship never clouds your judgment… whatever that may lead you to do," she stared hard into his mask before letting her lids slide closed and drifting back off to sleep.

Again, Robin looked at the mysterious slash on her neck. So did the yellow-eyed shadow in the corner. The shadow smirked, and Robin left.

Raven stalked down the hall and stepped into the elevator, requesting that it take her to the eighth floor of the building. As the escalator began to hum upwards, the dark girl scowled. She understood Robin's concern but… to tell Raven she wasn't worried? He had no idea of what she felt at that moment. Nobody did. She would have thought of all people, Robin would have understood. She levitated out of the escalator and stood, hands proper on her slender hips, weight balanced onto one leg. Her violet eyes scanned the rows and rows of books.

The Tower had been built with a library, and Raven found it of much interest. Hardly anyone but herself and occasionally Cyborg would come up here. She doubted anyone else knew about the library at all. She slowly moved down a row of books, a long finger running carefully over the spines and leaving a clear trail where dust was swept away. She paused, hearing something.

"Rae?" a rather timid voice implored. Raven arched a single brow and turned to find the owner of the voice. Beast Boy. Her eyebrow rose further.

"…" she stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Just wanted to see if… you know… you were ok. You seemed kind of… upset at Robin's comment. I just wanted to say… we all know you care, Rae. We don't think badly of you at all. It's just… you know how Rob gets with Star. He's sensitive. I think we're all sensitive. Star's a really big part of the titans, ya know?" he shrugged and offered a slight smile. Raven nodded slowly, eyeing him carefully.

"Sure," she droned. But it hadn't been sarcastic. She had meant it. Because she did know… it just stung a little. She couldn't help the way she was forced to act. Beast Boy grinned then, white and toothy.

"So this is a library, eh? Didn't know we had one," with that, the changeling proceeded to snoop about the rows of books, more interested in the exploration of this new place than the reading of literature. Raven groaned, but couldn't help but watch him with the slightest amusement. After about five minutes, the green boy became distracted by a small fly that had gotten into the tower. He watched it curiously, only to shriek when the gnat was encased in a dark orb and promptly forcer to implode.

"Dude!" he protested. Raven blinked.

"It's a bug…"

"But… but… DUDE!" he waved his arms frantically. Raven sighed and let the dead gnat… or what was left of it… drop to the ground. BB grabbed her shoulder and loomed up in her face, cow-eyed. "What… did… the little guy do… to you?" he asked, lip quivering ever-so dramatically. Raven huffed.

"He existed. Now let go of my cloak… Beast Boy?" Raven was suddenly observing him curiously. The changeling blinked.

"Yeah?"

"How are you… taller than me?" she asked. BB looked surprised, and then delighted by the discovery.

"Growth spurt…" he simpered and wiggled his eyebrows… to which Raven slapped his arm. "OW!" he exclaimed. Raven rolled her indigo eyes and grabbed a book off the shelf, levitating back over to the elevator and disappearing within. Beast Boy stood alone for a minute, and then cackled. "She digs me," he proclaimed, and marched out of the quiet, lonely library on the eighth floor.

T-T-T-T-T

Starfire slumbered peacefully on the infirmary bed, sighing softly with each breath. Within her mind, she stood alone.

Koriand'r… Koriand'r… My princesses… how are you? A soft, flighty voice trembled to her ears, the sound laced with a gentle lisp. Starfire turned, confused. She was garbed in the white robes that characterized her mental self.

Who are you? Where are you? Starfire called out, jade eyes darting. The wraith-like voice whispered again.

That is not of your concern, child. But my dear, I must ask you again. How are you? Do you enjoy the new powers… quivering at your fingertips? The voice chuckled, dark and knowing. Starfire swallowed. She did not like this voice.

W-What do you know? Why are you here? She called. The voice ceased its laughter.

So many questions, impatient little girl. And yet, so interesting that it was you chosen to carry things out. That it was you chosen over your sister. Your sister… it seems her heart was better suited for such great… dark… power. Or perhaps… they should have chosen your demon friend. She came to your mind. I saw her. She could have been wwwonnnderful for wielding the power. But I suppose the Psions… they were unaware of her existence. The voice crooned. Starfire took a step back… from what? A bodiless voice?

Do not speak of such things. Raven does not need such burdens! Why… why do you speak of the Psions? Starfire demanded. The voice was quiet for a moment.

Why should I not? You know who created the shards… you know who gave you your starbolts. Why should we not speak of them? It mused quietly. Star gritted her teeth.

You will NOT speak of the Psions. They. Are. Gone! Starfire yelled out into the darkness that had come to envelope her dreaming mindscape.

Oh, but they are not gone. They live on in what they have created. Their science merged with the darker arts of their sorcerers. Though they always did keep the old magickers under wraps… the voice hummer with amusement as Starfire's eyes flashed brilliant green, seething.

I said, do not speak of them. The power was left, yes, but their plans… their thoughts on what to use it for… it died with them. It is extinct. Starfire snapped. The voice let out a cruel peel of laughter.

I am sorry... but you are wrong. Their vision lives on. You should be one to hold the vision dear. You would not be of worth to the Titans had it not been for what the Psions did to you. But perhaps… you have forgotten what favor they gave you? Perhaps you would like to feel it again? The voice hissed. Starfire's face drained of color.

N-No. You speak falsely. My friends… I will never count what was done as a favor. NEVER. Starfire countered.

But my dear… if I have not been allowed to forget the pain the Psions gave to me… If I have been left to relive the torment they inflicted every day… you should too. You are no better than me. You are not higher than me. You do not deserve to go on with your happy life without any thought to what was done. You OWE your happiness to your prior pain… but you disregard that! You disregard what it was that gave you your power. Now you have a key, princess. Now you are going to be dragged back into the Psions experiments and plans… they have been laid out to the point that their presence was obsolete. Their death meant nothing. All they needed was a messenger. All they needed was someone to carry on after they fell. All they needed was ME. Do you know what my JOB is, deary? The voice gained volume, gained intensity. Starfire quivered.

What are you? What… are you? Star whispered, breath coming short and frightened by this thing… in her head.

I was a human. I was normal. The Psions… you didn't know they'd been to earth, did you? Well… they were. They found me. They made me what I am today. Perhaps… perhaps I wasn't able to gain your damned starbolts but I was able to gain enough power to serve their purpose. Koriand'r I am their slave. Eternally their slave. Eternally grateful to be as such. I am here to give you a refresher. Princess, taste the pain that made you what you are today again. Taste it and let the shards bask in it. Let them remind you of what MUST come. The Psions made themselves gods, Koriand'r. They made themselves capable of bestowing destiny… they gave you yours, girl, and you WILL follow it. You WILL unlock the power and you WILL complete the Psions mission. The voice raged in her ears. Starfire gasped. Yellow eyes. Leering at her, laughing at her. Pain. Pain rushed through her limbs, lit her blood on fire. Pulsed in her head.

Pain.

Anguish.

Fire. Burning. Smoldering.

Yellow Eyes.

Thought died.

Memories… assaulted her.

Yellow Eyes

Daggers kissed every inch of her skin. Ice danced with Fire in her head.

Her eyes did not see. Her ears did not hear. Her lips quivered, her vocals strained.

Starfire screamed. Heat, cold, all together in sweet misery. Scorch and freeze her to the core… everything crumbled, everything cried. Starfire sobbed, screaming still in unrelenting hurt. Again she was raped by the dark leaving of hope; again she gave up her screams to silent cries and wretched quivering. She stumbled to her feet, white robes dragging. She was not chained to the machine but she could feel it still. She could feel it pushing raw energy into her body; she could feel it threatening to consume her in flame. Star tried to make herself run, but every step she took blazed with agonizing pain. The hurt followed her… it would not leave.

"Star, Starfire… wake up, Star please wake up. Star don't cry, wake up, it's ok!" A new voice pleaded with her. Richard? Richard, where are you! Starfire sobbed. "Kori, you have to wake up. Please, please wake up… it's just a nightmare, wake up," he continued to call her. The pain dulled. Starfire lifted her head. Everything flashed white.

"Wake up… please don't cry…" Robin smoothed hair from her face and held her shivering body close. Starfire opened timid jade eyes. She met the concerned glances of Cyborg and Robin. Cyborg's lips cracked into a partial grin.

"There we go… you're alright little lady," he soothed. Starfire clutched a fistful of Robin's uniform shirt in her hand.

"Cyborg…" she murmured. Her breath was still short, her body still shook. But she was ok. The pain was gone again. Robin rubbed circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. His gloves were off. His skin was cool.

"I'm here. It's gonna be alright. Want a glass of water?" the android offered. Starfire tried to steady her quivering form and offered a weak nod, her eyes thanking him.

"It's ok, Kori, it was just a nightmare. You're safe. I promise you…" Robin whispered. His voice was hushed enough that he used her real name without Cyborg hearing. It wasn't really a secret… but names had been something she and Robin had shared with each other only. It was special.

"Richard… don't let me go," she begged softly, burying her face into his shoulder. Robin held her tight.

"I won't. I swear I won't," he assured her. Cyborg returned with the glass of water. Starfire didn't see. Robin exchanged glances with him and the metal titan nodded and set the glass down.

"I'll bring some extra pillows for ya," he offered softly. The Boy Wonder gave him a silent thank you and continued to hold Star. Cyborg moved off.

"Kori… it was just a dream. You're ok, really," he murmured. Starfire looked up at him.

"Perhaps… but, I… it was so real. There was a voice… so much pain, Richard…" she breathed.

But at least you will remember what you must do… a voice whispered in her head. Starfire inhaled sharply and cowered further against Robin. She felt a presence of sorts leave her. The alien whimpered softly, but her frame relaxed, if only a little. The two were quiet for a little while, Starfire tentatively taking the glass of water and sipping from it. Cyborg returned with the pillows and the two boys simply sat with her.

Two hours later, it was becoming obvious that both Cyborg and Robin were tired, so Starfire swallowed and eased out of Robin's arms. "T-Thank you for staying with me. I think… I think I will be fine. You two should go sleep. I am sorry to have woken you," she lowered her eyes. Cyborg yawned and chuckled.

"It's ok. But I don't know how you managed to wake up Robin. His room is two floors down. I'm just outside the door so it makes sense but…"

"I was in the Computer labs. I had to e-mail the Bat," Robin supplied. Cyborg nodded in comprehension.

"Oh, alright then. I guess that makes sense. Star, you sure you're ok?"

"Yes… but perhaps I will go to my own room…" she mumbled. Cyborg nodded.

"That might be a good idea. Well, if you're alright… night guys," Cyborg moved the pillow he'd been leaning on up near the head of the infirmary bed and left them.

"I'll take you to your room," Robin offered. Starfire smiled gratefully. Just like Robin to remember she was afraid of the dark. He took her hand and helped her from the bed, leading her from the infirmary. He didn't let go and she floated down the halls at his side. The two went down a level and passed the laundry room and down one more. Most of the titans had rooms on separate floors of the tower. Starfire shared a floor with Robin.

It had been a temporary room when she'd first come to earth and Robin had come by every morning to take her to wherever it was the titans were at the moment, gradually showing her the way around the tower. That had been two years ago. Starfire had never moved to her own floor. Neither titan minded. Robin punched in Starfire's pass code and led her over to her bed. He let her hand go and was getting ready to leave, offering a quiet good night, when Star hugged him softly from behind. "Thank you…" she trailed off and released him, climbing slowly into her bed and snuggling down under the covers.

Robin turned back to look at her and he smiled slightly. "No problem. I promised you, Kori… I'll never let you go, ok?" He stood there a while longer, his gaze locked with her own. Robin pulled off his mask and Starfire grinned appreciatively, bur her smile was still laced with the nervousness her nightmare had left behind.

"Goodnight, Richard," she sighed. He nodded and watched her eyes slide gingerly closed. He remained there until her breathing had evened out into the rhythm of deep, dreamless sleep. Robin leaned over the bed and kissed her lightly on the forehead before leaving the room with a final glance back in her doorway.

Starfire did not dream of anything for the remainder of the night.

Author's Note: Obsesively fluffy chapter... yay! Um... I hope you guys liked it. giggles I stuck a little BB/Rae fluff in there too. I don't have too much to say. Look for another chapter tomorrow. I think I might actually accomplish one chapter a day! Weee! Reviews make me type faster lol. I would love to hear from you. OH... and by the way... Star is comatose quite a bit in this fic... eh?

Love, Princess Starfire of Tamaran

Titans News: Ok, there was some Titans history questions so I guess I'll answer them here. Concerning the comics and the relationship between Robin, Starfire, and Raven. There are several plot lines in the titansverse, so it's quite hard to distinguish exaclty what happened. The only sure thing was there DEFFINITELY was a romance beween Richard Grayson and Koriand'r. At one point, Raven talked to Starfire and said she thought she was in love with Robin. Starfire tried to convince her otherwise, and Raven didn't understand why... until she came across the fact Richard and Kori were... um... sharing a bed... --;. Anyhow, there was a point were Richard and Kori were actually engaged and Richard was at the alter... but then an evil version of Raven showed up and pretty much attacked Kori... planting the seed of good Raven in her at the same time. As far as I know, Richard never had any romantic inclination to Raven, but she did harbor some feelings for him at a time. Richard's heart was with Kori through that whole time. So, I hope that clears up those questions... I was also asked the exact release date for the Titans Movie. My answer: I have NO clue. All I can give is the estimate of this comming fall or winter. I don't think a release date has even been set yet...