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Chapter 5: And the Noose Tightens

The concept of mornings did not appeal to Naruto in the slightest. He always ended up feeling lost when he woke and it took his brain more than a few minutes to catch up with the rest of his body most of the time. The entire waking process in general irritated him, and he was convinced that whoever came up with it had some sadistic design on all living creatures.

Obviously, the term 'morning person' did not have a spot in his mental dictionary.

This morning, however, his alertness was well above par, and he stared at Sakura with a brow cocked.

"Huh?"

"Look!" she exclaimed, and hopped up on the bed next to him, sticking the piece of paper under his nose.

Oh boy, Naruto thought, she's in one of her giggly, girly moods.

He glanced at the paper, and saw Ino's name on top.

"Did you write Ino a note or something?" Why is that such a big deal?

Sakura rolled her eyes. "No!" She jabbed her finger at the letter. "Read it!"

"Okay, okay!"

As his eyes scanned over the paper, his expression went from groggy to amused, then highly amused. When he finished, he let out a low whistle.

"I'll be damned," he chortled. "Where did you get this?"

"I don't know. I think I must have packed it in with my stuff on accident when I was at Ino's last night. But, can you believe—"

"Woah," Naruto cut her off, confused. "You were at Ino's last night?"

Sakura grinned. "You didn't think I'd stick around here so I could be treated to another of your sleepwalking escapades, did you?"

Naruto blushed. A change of subject would be good right about now.

"So Shikamaru's got it bad for Ino, eh? Must have a thick hide, that guy." He laughed as he remembered a few of the passages, and started quoting them in a dramatic voice. "The truth is, if there's no you, there's no me. Everything that makes you who you are, I want to—"

He stopped short when Sakura smacked him—hard—on the arm.

"Don't make fun of Shikamaru! I think it's sweet!" She said, glaring daggers at him. "It's not like you ever write me letters."

Naruto flinched.

Oh blast it...

"Er..." he quailed underneath her piercing gaze. "Come on, Sakura-chan! I don't know how to write to save my life! I can barely even sign my own name!"

"Apparently Shikamaru can't, either, but he did a damn good job of it, now didn't he?" She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Naruto flinched again.

I shouldn't have said anything...

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan! I—" He stopped himself when he remembered the events of last night. "That's what he was looking for!" He pointed to the letter enthusiastically. "I knew he was acting goofy!"

"What?"

"Shikamaru! He came out to the Borderlands yesterday when Kakashi and I were—reading," he moved back a bit in the bed when Sakura's eyes began to gleam with a crazed fire.

"Those books," she snarled, looking as if she wanted to rip someone's—Kakashi's—head off.

Naruto plowed on, determined to avoid an explosion. "So, he came out there, and he said he was looking for a list that his mom gave him, but now that I think about it, he was totally lying out his eyeballs."

"You know, Ino was acting strange, too," Sakura added, forgetting about her anger for the moment. "Though I can't say that I blame her. If this shocked me, I can't imagine how she reacted to it." Her expression became dreamy. "It's all so romantic! I wonder how long he's been in love with her? They'd make the most adorable couple, don't you think?" She gushed. "If that letter's any judge, he'd do anything for her."

Naruto snorted. "He always complained about how his father was whipped, but it looks like he's walking down the same road."

"So, what are we going to do about this?" Sakura asked, folding the letter back up.

Naruto did not make the connection.

"About what?"

"This!" Sakura waved the paper at him. "Shikamaru never meant to give it to Ino, but she got a hold of it somehow, and now we have it, so it's up to us to remedy the situation." She tapped her chin absently. "I don't think either of them are going to act unless they get a little nudge from an outside source, so..."

The wheels in Naruto's head began to turn. He put a few pieces together, and it clicked.

"So you're saying we should hook them up, right?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Sakura nodded. "But, I don't know how to go about doing it."

For once, Naruto had a plan when Sakura did not. He smirked.

"Simple. Your family's not using that house in the mountains now, are they? We can invite a bunch of buddies, including Shikamaru and Ino, of course, up there for a week. Call it an extended get-together among friends, you know?"

Sakura stared.

"Naruto, that's brilliant!" She clapped her hands together. "They won't suspect a thing if we have others come along! And, the house isn't all that big, so they won't have much room to hide from each other," she added, grinning wickedly. "I'll talk to the girls, and you talk to the guys. I'm thinking we'll head up this weekend, and stay through next week, okay?"

"Sounds good," Naruto replied, and yawned until his jaw cracked. "As of now, though, I'm going back to sleep."

And he did.

Sakura shook her head.

"You never change," she told the lump under her covers, smiling.

Incidentally, Shikamaru was the first person that Naruto ran in to later on that day while he walked the streets. This time, the dark-haired Chuunin really did have a list of things to get for his mother, and Naruto accompanied him as he picked up the remaining items.

While on the outside, Shikamaru appeared calm and collected, he felt anything but. He had barely been able to get to sleep the night before, and his anxiety over the letter grew with each passing minute. The only reason he didn't snap entirely was because he kept telling himself that the letter was probably fluttering around in pieces somewhere, and no one would ever be able to read it. The same voice that told him to take the letter to his training in the first place scoffed at that, but Shikamaru did his best to ignore it.

Some moments were harder than others.

Naruto had come along just in time, to tell the truth, because if he hadn't, Shikamaru would have lost it.

"What do you say to a vacation?" Naruto inquired as the two entered the grocer's shop. "I mean, we've all been working really hard lately, and I'd say we deserve it."

"Eh? A vacation?" Shikamaru said as he examined some tomatoes. "What kind of vacation are we talking about here?"

I have to find the letter! I don't have time for a vacation!

"Sakura's family owns a house near the mountains. It's vacant now, and her mom and dad said it was okay for us to use it. Come on, you can't say no to that. It'll be a blast, trust me."

Hmm...that may not be so bad. It would get me away from my problems for a little bit, and I can't complain about that...

"I guess so," he conceded.

"Does that mean you're coming?"

"Sure."

"All right!" Naruto smacked Shikamaru on the back. "We're meeting at Sakura's on Saturday morning at nine. I'd stick around here for a bit longer, but I've got to track down the rest of the guys. Later!"

Naruto blew out of the shop, leaving Shikamaru to his thoughts, and his tomatoes.

He sighed.

I wonder who else will be tagging along? It's Sakura's house, so she'll be there, obviously. And I'm sure she'll be bringing friends, too...

He just remembered the hitch.

Ino and Sakura are best friends.

Things do not look good for Nara Shikamaru.

Sakura and Ino walked through a crowded shopping mall, searching for stores that had sales. Ino already carried three large bags, and Sakura four. When she said shopping spree, she certainly meant it.

"Shoes!" She said, and took Ino by the arm, dragging her into a store across the way. Once there, she honed in on a pair of sandals, leaving Ino to her own devices.

After searching through her room a few more times, she proceeded to prowl through her entire house, looking anywhere and everywhere for the letter. She even searched through the trashcans, which had been disgusting, but she was desperate. Luckily, Sakura called her before she could tear all of her hair out, and now she was here. Spending money always makes one feel much better, especially if that money is spent on oneself.

"You aren't doing anything next week, are you?" Sakura asked over Ino's shoulder. She held the sandals in her hands, and motioned for Ino to sit by her while she tried them on.

"No, I don't think so," Ino said. "Those look cute on you."

"I think I'm going to get them," she replied, grinning. "So you're free?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Naruto and I were talking, and we thought it would be fun to have a group of friends up at the mountain house. It's been a long time since the gang has been able to hang out together, you know? Please say you'll come. It wouldn't be the same without you."

The mountain house? Well...I have always wanted to go there after everything that Sakura's said about it. And I could use a vacation right about now...

"You know what? That sounds wonderful. Count me in."

"Really?"

"Really."

It wasn't until she got home that she actually thought about who could be among the party, and after she did, she wanted to cry, or scream, or do both at the same time.

Shikamaru and Naruto were good friends, and in all probability, he would be there, too.

Things do not look good for Yamanaka Ino.

Naruto discovered while he was out that Kiba, Shino, and Choji were all off on missions, and no one was sure when they would be back. He had been a little disappointed, but the person that he did manage to find all but made up for it.

"Gaara!" He shouted, "Wait up!"

The red-haired Sand-nin tried to pretend like he hadn't seen Naruto, but it was already too late.

Blast it...he's got that 'I want to talk' look on his face...

"What do you want?" Gaara said acidly. "I've been training all day, and I'm tired, so I'd advise you not to pester me."

Naruto waved that off. "Listen, I'm having a get-together—"

"NO," Gaara interrupted. "Don't even bother wasting your breath, Naruto, because I'm not going."

"Yes, you are," Naruto told him. "You never go out, you never have vacations, you never do anything except train and sleep! Come on! We're going to the mountains! That means skiing, and ice skating, and sledding, and—"

While Naruto rattled off a list of other 'fun' activities, Gaara's right eye began to twitch.

Not a good sign.

Whenever Gaara's eye twitched, everyone in the vicinity knew to get the hell out of dodge, or suffer the consequences. Naruto, however, was a different breed, and he did not even notice.

"Naruto," he said between clenched teeth, "why would I want to go to a mountain and be stuck in a house with people?"

Naruto regarded his friend with a level gaze. The smile he wore made him look more like a fox than normal.

"Because if you don't, I'll give every eligible girl in Konoha the address to your apartment."

Ah, blackmail.

Gaara's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and the twitching became more pronounced.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Do you want to try me?"

I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'LL KILL HIM!

"I hate you," he growled.

"Nobody's perfect," Naruto said innocently.

"Why are you having this little 'get-together,' anyway?" Gaara could not help but ask. If he was being dragged in on it, he wanted to have a reason.

"Oh, to help friends in need."

I'll kill him... "Explain, please."

"Ino and Shikamaru are clueless, so we're all gonna give 'em a hand."

What the hell? Why do I have to go along?

"What's all this about?"

Naruto froze.

That drawling voice he'd heard many times before, and it set his teeth on edge.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Damn it! Naruto thought.

Saved! Thought Gaara.

"Well?" Said Sasuke.

"Uh..."

"So, who did you get to come?" Sakura asked into the phone. She was sitting on her bed and applying bright red polish on her toenails. Balancing the phone on one shoulder was a skill that she had perfected through the years.

"Well, Shikamaru is a yes. He was the first person I talked to. Kiba, Shino, and Choji are on missions, so they're out. I found Gaara and he's coming—"

"He is?" Sakura blinked. "Are you kidding me? He actually agreed to come?" Her eyes narrowed. "You didn't force him, did you?"

"No!" Naruto answered a bit too quickly. "He thinks it'll be fun!"

Sakura nearly spilled the polish all over herself.

Gaara and fun do not go together.

"If you're lying to me, I'll make sure you regret it," she said sweetly.

"I'm not!" Naruto insisted. O-ho, yes I am! "So, he's coming, and...soareSasukeandLee," he finished quickly.

For a second time, Sakura nearly coated herself in red polish.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I...I...I'm sorry! Sasuke overheard me talking to Gaara, and Lee just kind of appeared, and...and I couldn't do anything!"

Wonderful.

"Naruto, you—know—how—they—act—around—me," she said slowly, emphasizing each word. "This is going to be bedlam! And do you realize that Ino and I are going to be the ONLY GIRLS IN A HOUSE FULL OF STUPID BOYS?"

Naruto actually had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"What? Why? Didn't you talk to your girlfriends?"

"They're all away!" Sakura shrieked.

Oh dear.

"Um...well...at least our vacation won't be boring, right?"

Most definitely not boring.

More like chaotic.

Sakura buried her head in her hands.

Ino paced back and forth in her bedroom, trying to think of a way to back out of this, but she came up with nothing. She knew that Sakura was counting on her to come, and she couldn't snub her now.

"Oh no," she groaned, flinging herself on her bed. "What am I going to do? What am I going to say? And where—is—that—blasted—letter?"

Meanwhile, Shikamaru also paced back and forth in his room, contemplating how quickly he would die if he were to hurl himself out his window. After some careful consideration, however, he came to the conclusion that that course of action would be far too messy, and require too much energy.

"Damn it! How do I always get myself into this stuff? Why me?" He implored to the ceiling. "And where—is—that—blasted—letter?"

Witness our two lovebirds speaking the same sentence.

Fate works in strange ways.

But there is always room for it to become stranger...

Yes, Sasuke is in...but he's going to be comic relief ONLY...I'm not a huge fan of his right now...::grumbles:: So, the gang in a house in the mountains! What can happen? Lots of crazy stuff! Poor, poor Shika...poor, poor Ino...they don't stand a chance!

In response to chibified kitsunes, I have no idea how long this is going to be...I'm sort of writing on the fly, you know? ::grins:: And I have a nice muse...

And Sakura said, "I'll be there yesterday," because she meant I'll be there ASAP (responding to YUB YUB)

And, to ALL my reviewers, I give you my most sincere thanks...you've all been so encouraging, and you keep me motivated! MUAH! (and you rock, Smiter!)