Chapter 16

Several days later, and no one seemed to find Dawn. The searching started at sunset and lasted until the very last light, but to no avail. They didn't lose hope; especially not Elphaba. She spent each morning on her broom and each night in the tiny room in the attic, reading through the old Grimmerie. She hadn't shown up to dinner four nights in a row now. She barely ate, she didn't sleep, at least not in their bedroom, as far as Fiyero knew. For all he knew, she was up all this time, searching through her books in the attic. This was where he was heading now.

"Fae?" he asked, lightly knocking on the door. He didn't wait for her reply and stepped inside. Several burning candles were the only light in the room. Elphaba was hunched over the Grimmerie, fast asleep. Fiyero put the teapot he brought for her on a sideway table and gently touched her shoulder. "Elphaba," he whispered.

She opened her eyes slowly. She looked at him, disoriented. For a moment, she wasn't sure where she was. "What…" she murmured, a bit disoriented, and sat back in the chair. The feeling of sore muscles in her lower back reminded her exactly what she was doing up there. "I guess I was dozing off," she said finally and yawned.

Fiyero reached out to touch her face gently. "I got you some tea and toast."

"Thank you, darling, but I'm not hungry," she said and turned her attention back to the Grimmerie. Its strange, tiny letters whirled in front of her eyes, making her dizzy.

"I don't care if you're not hungry, Elphaba, you have to eat something anyway, or you'll fall off your broom one of these days," Fiyero said sternly. "You should have some sleep, too. You haven't slept in, what, four nights now?"

"I can't sleep," she replied quietly, brokenly, looking up at him. "Every time I close my eyes she is there, begging for me to come and save her. Oh, Fiyero, what if it's too late?"

"It's not too late," he promised, taking her hand. "We are doing everything we can, everyone is so helpful and supportive, you know that. We will find her, Fae. But sitting here, exhausting yourself each night won't do you any good. You have to stay strong for her."

Strong. She hated being the strong one. Especially after she found out that there was another way. "I'm scared," she whispered.

Fiyero moved closer and put his arms around her. "I know," he whispered back. "I'm scared, too."

Elphaba sighed. "How in Oz did we even get here?" She didn't even realize she was saying that aloud until she heard Fiyero's desperate sigh. None of them had an answer for that.

Madam Morrible twisted and turned on the uncomfortable cot in her cell. She had troubles sleeping for several nights now, ever since she has learnt about Elphaba's daughter's disappearance. She was certain that Luke had a connection to that. She wondered what her son was up to.

Her thoughts wandered, as they always did when she couldn't sleep, to that fateful night after the Witch's demise. The vision was so vivid in her mind, as if it happened only yesterday. Glinda came back to the Wizard's throne with Elphaba's small emerald bottle. It was her mother's, Glinda said, and the Wizard's life had changed forever that moment, once he realized he was responsible to his daughter's death.

They had several minutes for themselves after Glinda went out to give the official announcement about the Witch's death. Madam Morrible didn't know how she should react. She was shocked to understand the connection herself. The Wizard looked stricken. He still held the small emerald bottle in his shaking hands. She knelt on the floor, next to him.

"James," she said softly.

"Please, don't," he said. His eyes were filled with tears of grief. It nearly broke her heart. "Just… let me be."

"This is a terrible tragedy," she started again. He raised his glance to face her. "But you mustn't blame yourself-"

"Who am I to blame, then?" he asked. His voice trembled. "Melena, for not telling me? Did she even know who Elphaba's father was? Oh, had I only known," he sighed. They sat there in silence for several moments. Then he got up. "I must get ready. Glinda will come back soon,"

Madam Morrible touched his arm gently. "Is this goodbye?" she whispered.

The Wizard slowly nodded. "I'm afraid it is," he said. "Will you… promise me one thing?"

"Of course."

"Promise me that you'll tell Luke the truth about his father, one of these days. I wouldn't want to end up responsible for my son's death as well," he said. He looked so miserable. It was so unlike him.

All she could do was nod. "One of these days, I promise."

Unfortunately, to that very day, Madam Morrible didn't have a chance to keep her promise to James, who once was known as the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

"Elphie?" Elphaba turned when she heard Glinda's voice behind her. "Luke is here to see you," she said gently.

Elphaba nodded, got up and followed her friend silently downstairs.

Luke got up the moment Elphaba walked into the library. As always, her beauty had stricken him with awe. Yet, she was different that night. There was something old and haunted in her eyes. Her gaze was hollow, empty, desperate. He approached her and gently touched her shoulder. "Miss Elphaba, I've just heard," he started, in the most sympathetic tone he could manage. "I was out of town for several days. What an awful tragedy."

Elphaba couldn't say anything. She slowly nodded. She didn't even cry anymore. She felt as if she was a ghost, trapped in the exhausting routine of the past week.

"If there's anything I could do to help you with…" added Luke.

She shook her head. "No," she was amazed to hear how weak her voice sounded. "But thank you, Luke, for your support, and for coming here."

"How do you get along?" he asked, gently leading her to the closest armchair.

"You mean besides of being in the air on that damn broom all day looking for my baby girl?" she snapped. He was satisfied by what he had detected in her tone. She was bitter and miserable; just as it should have been. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I didn't mean to-"

"That's okay," he assured her. "But do you care to hear my advice? As a friend?" Elphaba nodded. "Get some rest, Elphaba. You don't look well. You will find her."

"I hope you're right," she said automatically. She heard that so many times during the week, she didn't even know if she believed it anymore.

"I'll stop by in a couple of days to check up on you." Before he could stop himself, he gently brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it.

Their eyes locked. She didn't like what she has seen in his eyes. Lust? Need? For a moment, she was afraid that Fiyero was right with his suspicions-

She backed away. "You'd better go now, Luke," she said, looking everywhere but at him.

"Yes, I better-"

"But thank you, for your, um… help."

"You're welcome. I'll come back in several days," he said and left the library quickly.

Elphaba closed her eyes and leaned back onto the soft velvet fabric of the armchair.

"Since you are downstairs at this hour, will you join us to dinner tonight?" She turned, surprised. Glinda stood on the threshold. She looked seriously at Elphaba. Her expression was somewhat accusing.

"Yes, I will," she replied. They said nothing for a second. Elphaba hesitated but finally asked, "How long have you been standing here?"

"Enough," was Glinda's short reply. She entered the room, closed the door behind her and sat beside Elphaba, looking at her seriously. "Elphie… I truly hope that you know what you're doing."

"I don't understand."

Glinda shook her head. "I know what I saw," she said quietly.

Elphaba stared at her. "Glinda, what are you implying?"

Glinda looked at her but said nothing. She didn't have to. It was clear what she saw, only she got it wrong; completely wrong! How could she reach these hasty conclusions? Did she honestly think… no, that was impossible!

"Look, Glinda, whatever it is on your mind, I can assure you-"

"Elphaba, I'm not your mother, you don't owe me any explanations. It's your life."

"But you don't understand!"

"I know that Dawn's disappearance is making you upset, but stop and think for a moment! Does it worth it?"

"Glinda, nothing happened here!"

Glinda's expression remained skeptical. "Keep telling yourself that," she said dryly.

"Have you misplaced your mind? I love Fiyero; I would never do anything-"

"Elphaba, I could feel the sparks in this room from outside the door!"

"I cannot believe we are even having this conversation, Glinda!" her tone was gradually rising, in spite of herself. She couldn't believe Glinda was actually considering this. She was practically accusing her of… of… she couldn't even bring herself to utter it.

"Look," Glinda's tone softened. "I might be wrong. Or maybe it's because you're too much in love with Fiyero that you don't even notice what's right there in front of you."

"What are you talking about?"

"That man wants more from you than just helping you, Elphaba. Trust me, I know men, I've seen them all." For a moment, she sounded just like old times' Galinda. "I'm telling you this as your friend. You are too distracted right now to care or even notice but trust me, Elphaba. This man is no good."

They heard the doorbell rings. Seconds later the main hall was filled with Boq and Fiyero's voices.

Glinda got up and helped Elphaba up, too. "Come on. They'll be surprised to see you down here with us for a change," she smiled. "I really miss you, Elphie," she added sort of shyly.

Elphaba sighed and looked at her friend seriously. "I know, Glinda. I really miss you, too. I'll be nicer when we'll find her, I promise. Right now I'm a burden, I know that. And I'm sorry."

"You're not a burden, Elphaba, stop thinking that you are. I love Dawn as if she was mine, you know that."

"I do. You are everything that Nessa couldn't be for her," said Elphaba honestly.

Glinda smiled. "Come on, I'm starving." They left the library arm in arm.