Ah, back hasn't started getting uber crazy yet, so I was able to whip this chapter out ::grins:: Hope y'all enjoy!

Chapter 6: This Bed Isn't Big Enough for the Both of Us!

Ino woke on Saturday morning feeling as if her stomach were about to combust. The week flew by in a blink, which was typical, of course, because she wanted the weekend to stay far, far away. During the week, she'd done everything under the sun to avoid seeing Shikamaru, going so far as to fake sick on Wednesday, the day she was to meet with Asuma for more weapons practice. Her former sensei bought the act, much to her relief.

From her phone conversations with Sakura, she discovered that her suspicions were true, and that Shikamaru would indeed be at the mountain house. The pink-haired girl had the air of a person who knows something she shouldn't, and Ino could not help but become quite wary of her best friend.

She had something up her sleeve, of that Ino was certain.

The weight of impending doom settled on her shoulders, and she could do nothing to be rid of it.

By the time Saturday rolled around, her sanity came close to jumping straight over the edge.

"Oh lord...how am I going to do this? How am I going to be able to live in a house with him for a week?" She asked her open suitcase. Articles of clothing managed to find their way in, though exactly how, one can only guess. "And I still don't know where that letter went! How am I going to face him if I know that I took something I wasn't supposed to, and then I lost it??"

The suitcase appeared forlorn as it stared up at her, clothing shoved pell-mell in every spare inch of space.

Ino heaved a sigh that would have made Shikamaru proud.

"I'm going to die. That's all there is to it."

Shikamaru paced.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

His packed bags sat before him on his bed, but they provided him with absolutely no consolation.

After some heated discussion with Naruto, he learned that Ino would be gracing the mountain house with her presence.

Fantastic.

The blonde girl had not shown up on Wednesday for weapons practice, which Shikamaru found to be a very good thing, as he would not only have made a complete fool of himself, but also dropped dead in the process.

And then, of course, the issue with the letter had not yet been resolved.

It was still just as missing as it had been a few days ago, and Shikamaru was still just as distressed as he had been when he realized that the letter was missing.

"This vacation is going to be the end of me."

The bags voiced no disagreement.

Gaara did not know how to pack bags. He never had a reason to pack them before, seeing as that he never went on extended trips save those his rank required him to, but even then, he took very little along with him.

"Look, this is a suitcase," Naruto said, motioning to the piece of luggage he'd brought over to Gaara's apartment Friday afternoon. "See all the little compartments and stuff? You put things in them, like socks and underwear and all that, and then you put clothes here," he pointed to the biggest compartment in the suitcase. "It's easy, trust me. I mean, if I can do it, I know you can."

"Easy?" Gaara muttered. No matter what he did, he could not seem to make anything fit, and he was becoming quite frustrated, to say the least. Naruto also told him to take along plenty of warm clothes, because it could get very cold in the mountains.

Gaara hated being cold. He'd lived in the desert for most of his life, and he'd gotten used to the scalding heat.

Cold translated as misery.

Therefore, the red haired Sand-nin chose to bring his entire selection of warm clothing.

The suitcase, apparently, disagreed with him on the matter.

It said—if suitcases could talk—'if you even try to put one more thing in here, I'll eat you.'

Frustration, frustration, frustration.

"Damn it!" Gaara shouted. "Why—won't—you—close?"

Drastic measures would be needed about now.

"If you don't close, I'll sit on you," he told the suitcase menacingly.

The suitcase still did not comply.

Gaara's eye began to twitch.

"That's it! You're being sat on!"

He sat.

And was immediately ejected when the suitcase sprang back open.

"DAMN YOU!"

Never allow red-haired Sand-nins to pack their own bags, or something of this sort may happen.

Naruto and Sakura waited on the steps for their friends to arrive on Saturday morning, both thinking completely different things.

If I make it through this week without killing anyone, I'll be more than happy, thought Sakura.

Sasuke better not try anything with MY Sakura-chan, or I'll rip all of his limbs off and use 'em as coat hangers, thought Naruto.

I swear, if Lee or Sasuke even DREAM of pulling something, they're toast. We're supposed to be focusing on Shikamaru and Ino! They'd better be a couple by the end of this, or someone's gonna die,thought Sakura.

I hope Gaara didn't hurt himself packing, or I'm in trouble, thought Naruto.

"NARUTO! YOU'RE DEAD!"

Both Naruto and Sakura were jolted out of their thoughts.

Sakura gasped.

Naruto dove behind Sakura and cowered.

Gaara walked up the lane, dragging a duct-taped suitcase behind him, a wild look on his face. When he got close enough, he deftly reached behind Sakura, grabbed Naruto's shirt collar, and hauled him up so that they were face to face.

"You said packing would be easy," he snarled.

Naruto laughed nervously. "Uh...what happened?" Oh good lord...

Gaara's eyes went wide. "What happened? What happened? Do you see my suitcase?"

"Er..." Naruto looked at the suitcase. "Oh."

Sakura decided to speak. For whatever reason, her voice could usually calm Gaara whenever he was in one of these moods, and she figured now would be a good time to use it.

"Gaara, it's okay," she soothed, gently prying Naruto's shirt out of his grasp. "You got here in one piece, right? Everything's fine."

Slowly, Gaara's madness began to recede, and he looked at Sakura like a lost puppy.

"It is?" He blinked.

"Yes, it is," she said, patting his shoulder. "Why don't you sit down on the step, now, okay?"

"Okay," Gaara said, and seated himself.

Naruto, meanwhile, returned to cowering behind Sakura.

"I almost died," he said into her back.

When Shikamaru came down the lane, he saw Gaara sitting on the step with his eyes glazed over, Sakura trying to calm an apparently distraught Naruto, and...Naruto cowering behind Sakura.

"What the hell happened here?" Shikamaru asked.

"Don't ask," Sakura said, her arms now about Naruto's shuddering frame. She motioned with her head in Gaara's direction, and mouthed, 'we barely avoided danger.'

At once, Shikamaru understood.

"Gotcha."

A minute later, Sasuke and Lee came down the lane, glaring daggers at each other.

"I don't see why you have to go, too," Lee was saying rather loudly.

"To keep tabs on you, thick brows," Sasuke growled.

Sakura and Shikamaru grimaced.

"This is already looking bad," Shikamaru observed.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Sakura agreed.

"I almost died!" Naruto whimpered.

"I know, hon, but you didn't," Sakura told him, rubbing his back.

As Sasuke and Lee got closer, their arguing became more—intense. Sakura and Shikamaru winced again. Gaara, on the other hand, did not notice, nor care. He still sat on the steps with his eyes glazed, pondering his eventual death by too much interaction with other human beings.

Sasuke and Lee continued arguing, even when they were right in front of Sakura, the person whom they were arguing about.

Naruto began to come out of his 'post-traumatic shock syndrome,' and a vein pulsed in his forehead.

Ino chose that moment to arrive.

"Hey guys!" She said cheerfully, though on the inside, she wanted to throw up. Oh no...there's Shikamaru...what now? Do I look okay? Does...wait! Why do I care if he thinks I look okay? I don't! Snap out of it, Ino!

Shikamaru's insides squirmed at the sight of Ino.

Her ponytail is swishing...that's so cute! Does she have any idea how adorable she is? I...woah, woah, woah! Knock it off, Shikamaru! Not now!

"Hey, Ino!" Sakura said, trying to hold Naruto back by his arms while shooting Lee and Sasuke the Death Glare at the same time.

"Uh, is everything okay?" Ino asked nervously. She avoided eye contact with Shikamaru at all costs.

"Oh, it's just happy happy!" Sakura said, her voice rising. "We're all one big, happy family, and we're going to have fun, aren't we?"

The last part of the sentence was screeched, and everyone in the vicinity grew silent. They all knew the Voice, and they all knew what to do when Sakura used it.

"Yeah!" Naruto said, forcing himself to smile. "It's gonna be great!" And pigs will fly...

"Uh-huh!" Ino nodded, also wearing a forced smile. "I'm really excited!" Not...

After a glare from Naruto, the remaining three boys—save Gaara—chorused, "Fun!"

"Raincheck," said Gaara.

Unfortunately, what happened after Gaara spoke is censored, because...well, it was bloody, and this story is PG...

The mountain house was a quaint little place nestled in among pine trees, the snow coating the ground like a blanket of white. There were plenty of hills perfect for skiing—and sledding—and a frozen lake that would serve as a natural ice-skating rink.

Inside the house there are two bedrooms, a master and a guest. There is also a large common room of sorts, with nice couches—good for guests to sleep on, of course—a fireplace, and a pool table off to the side for—you guessed it—playing pool.

The kitchen branched off from the common room, and there is a large table for guests to eat at—ah, togetherness—as well as your standard stove and microwave, and other objects one finds in a kitchen.

Now, the disbursing of sleeping areas.

Naruto and Sakura, obviously, would occupy the master bedroom.

Sasuke, Lee, and Gaara would each take a couch.

This leaves the guest bedroom for Shikamaru and Ino, since the house was small, and there would be no room for them to sleep anyplace else.

Period.

"Wait, what? Oh, you—you're joking, right?" Ino inquired in as calm a manner as she could muster. No. No. NO. NO. NOOO!!

Shikamaru was thinking along the same lines.

"Yeah! I mean—you're not expecting us to...share a bed, are you?" This is it...I'm officially going to die...

Sakura smiled sweetly at the pair of them.

"Oh, come now. We have to make do with what we've got, don't we?"

Her sickly sweet smile grew wider as both participants in the bed-sharing marathon quailed.

"I'm sorry, guys, but there's nothing else I can do. The boys already have the couches, and you can't sleep on the floor, because that would just be silly. Plus, there's no room on the floor. You're going to have to suck it up and deal with it."

Meanwhile, Gaara sat huddled in as many blankets that could possibly be piled on a person, his teeth chattering.

The mountains were not cold.

They were freezing.

"I'm gonna kill him, and then I'm gonna kill him again, and then I'm gonna kill him again, and I'm gonna keep killing him until he's dead!" Gaara muttered, his eyes on Naruto. "And then I'm gonna eat his liver, and I'm never talking to him again! And if my blood freezes in my veins, he's dead!"

His eye twitched.

Violently.

Naruto cowered.

Sasuke and Lee prudently made their way into the kitchen for food.

"You'd better not touch my Ho-Ho's, thick brows," Sasuke said.

"I'll touch what I want!" Lee growled, pushing past Sasuke.

More arguing.

Back to the couch.

"Sakura!" Gaara shouted. "My eye is twitching! Do something!"

Sakura immediately ran from Shikamaru and Ino to the couch.

"Oh!! Happy thoughts, Gaara! Happy thoughts!" Sakura wracked her brain frantically. "Naruto in a meat-grinder!" She blurted.

Gaara's eye stopped twitching.

He laughed the same frightening laugh that he laughed when he was killing people.

Naruto's mouth hung open.

"Sakura! You want me to—die?" His eyes began pooling with tears.

The pink-haired girl moaned. She had forgotten that Naruto was close by, and she knew how very sensitive he could be.

"No!" She exclaimed, moving from the couch to her boyfriend. She whispered in his ear, "I love you, stupid! But...bad things happen when Gaara's eye twitches! Remember the last time? I thought he was going to kill everything within two centimeters of him!"

"But a meat grinder? That's...cruel!" The tears continued pooling.

Sakura counted to ten, her temper rising.

"I didn't mean it, Naruto dear. I was just calming Gaara down."

"I'll bet you wish I'd die so you can be with Sasuke," said Naruto.

Bad move.

Very bad.

"WHAT?" Sakura shrieked. "WHAT?" Taking Naruto by the ear, she proceeded to drag him bodily to the master bedroom, and slammed the door shut behind her. The sounds of her yelling were muffled, though all those at the mountain house heard it.

Naruto emerged three hours later, as pale as a ghost. No one questioned him, and no one questioned Sakura when she too came out of the room, her hair on end. She walked into the kitchen without a word and started preparing dinner. Ino joined her.

Shikamaru, a now calm Gaara, Sasuke, and Lee watched football while scarfing bags of pork-rinds and yelling obscenities at the television.

I have to sleep in the same bed...as Shikamaru...I have to be close to him...like, close enough to touch...

Ino thought as she diced carrots, not paying attention to her slices. They were getting smaller and smaller as she went. Sakura looked over at her by chance.
"Ino! Be careful! You're going to cut yourself!"

"Huh?" Ino eyed the knife in her hands, and then her carrot slices. "Oh...whoops."

Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Mind wandering?"

"Yeah, something like that," Ino replied.

Sakura concealed a grin. "Pay attention with that knife, eh?"

"Sure," Ino replied absently. Sleeping...with Shikamaru...

Shikamaru pretended to be watching football, but he could not seem to concentrate on anything other than the fact that, in a few hours, he would be in a bed with Ino.

Alone.

As frightening a thought as it was...appealing.

Don't start being a lecher, Shikamaru! Get rid of those thoughts! Bad! You aren't that type of person! Don't let Naruto rub off on you!

His thoughts were interrupted when Naruto and Gaara leaped off the couch and started hollering. Apparently, they supported the same team, and their team just scored a touchdown. Shikamaru watched as they slapped each other high-fives and did an odd little victory dance, a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head. Sasuke and Lee sank back against the couch, moping.

Their team was getting pummeled.

In the midst of Gaara and Naruto's euphoria, they struck up a conversation about Sakura, because they were too depressed to watch the television.

"Sakura-san was disillusioned when she got with Naruto," Lee said matter-of-factly.

"I agree. He did some brainwashing. I mean, what does that idiot have over the two of us?" Or, me, more like. I'm a hell of a lot better looking than Lee...I mean, that hair!

What's he talking about? He doesn't have anything on me...Sasuke's a porcupine on steroids... "Yeah! What does she see in him, anyway?"

Even though he was still celebrating, Naruto caught on to the conversation, and he did not care for it.

"Excuse me?" He said, his eyes narrowing. "You weren't talking about, oh, I don't know...me were you?"

Sasuke and Lee froze.

"Er..." Said Lee.

"No," said Sasuke. "We were discussing the advantages of having a plasma T.V. as opposed to a regular T.V."

Naruto stared. "Is that so? I could have sworn I heard Sakura mentioned in there somewhere, and I don't know what she has to do with plasma and regular T.V.'s."

Sasuke faltered a bit. "She has nothing to do with them! Where are you coming up with this stuff?"

Gaara turned around. "They were talking about Sakura, and they called you an idiot. You weren't hearing things." He faced the screen again.

Naruto smiled and cracked his knuckles. "That's what I thought."

Again, what happened next is censored, because it was bloody.

Very bloody.

After dinner, Sasuke and Lee fell onto their perspective couches and went to sleep, mostly because their eyes were swollen shut, and they couldn't do anything else but sleep. Gaara discovered the delights of a GameBoy, given him by Sakura to amuse himself with, so he sat on his couch and giggled—yes, giggled—while he played. Sakura decided that it was bedtime for her and Naruto, so the two of them disappeared into their room—and NO, nothing naughty happened. This is PG, remember?

The only two left without something to do were Shikamaru and Ino, the main characters of our story.

Ino looked at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru looked at Ino.

Gulp.

"Um...well...I guess we should...go to bed too, huh?" Ino said, a blush inching into her cheeks.

"Oh...uh, yeah. I guess so." The same blush found its way to Shikamaru's cheeks.

The room they were to share was cozy, to say the least. The queen-sized bed took up most of the space, and two oak nightstands stood on either side of it. One dresser stood across from the bed, with two drawers each for Shikamaru and Ino.

"This is...nice," Ino said, nervously fingering her hair. I can't breathe...I'm suffocating...too...close...

"Yeah, really nice," Shikamaru replied dumbly. Why do I feel so hot all of a sudden? "Er...do you need to...change?"

What? Change? What is he talking about? Is he...a pervert, too?? No, no, that can't be! Pajamas!

"Yeah, actually...um...I'll just...go in this bathroom, okay? And you can change in here."

Shikamaru nodded. He could not bring his mouth to form words.

Ino grabbed one of her bags and closed herself in the bathroom, realizing when she unzipped the bag that she'd only brought her slinky silk nightgown. She often became hot in the middle of the night, and she liked to sleep in as little as possible.

"Oh no!" She groaned when she held up the nightie. "I can't go out there in this! He'll think I'm easy!"

And why do you care what he thinks? Said a voice in her head. It makes no difference to you, does it? It isn't as if you love him. Silly girl. Letting a stupid little piece of paper influence you...

"That's right! I don't care what he thinks! It's my nightie, and I'll wear it if I want to!"

Slipping out of her clothes, Ino drew the nightgown over her head and flung the door open.

And caught sight of some tush.

She gaped.

And gaped.

And gaped.

Oh...oh my...

Shikamaru finally noticed that he was not alone in the room, and yanked his boxers on, his face positively red.

"Ino! Why didn't you say something?" He yelped, truly wanting to die.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Not really...he has a nice—STOP!

Shikamaru noticed Ino's attire, and it was a miracle that his nose didn't start gushing blood. The nightgown clung to her body in all the right places, hugging her curves...

Woah...wow...NO! Stop, stop, stop!

"Well, I'm tired," Ino said, and moved over to the bed, burrowing as far under the covers as she could. She willed her eyes to close, and stay closed.

You are tired, Ino. Tired. Go to sleep. Ignore Shikamaru. That's easy, right?

She pictured the sight that greeted her when she exited the bathroom.

Tired! Sleep! NOW!

Somehow, she managed to drift off to sleep, not even stirring when Shikamaru's weight shifted the mattress.

Okay, she's out...just don't move too much...

As carefully as he could, Shikamaru rolled over on his side, and attempted to fall asleep. He was in between the dreaming world and the waking world when he felt an arm slam up against his back.

"Ow!" He grunted, and angled his head over his shoulder. Ino was still fast asleep, but she was now facing him, and her arm was draped over his back.

Oh crap...now what? Shikamaru tried to maneuver himself into a more comfortable position without disturbing Ino. He ended up on his back. Ino's arm, however, had not moved. Shikamaru's breathing sped up.

"I can handle this," he told himself. "It's just an arm. It's not poisonous or anything."

His eyes closed.

About a half an hour later, the other arm joined the first.

Shikamaru's eyes shot open.

He looked down.

Ino's head was buried in his side.

Double crap.

"Calm, Shikamaru," he said. "If you move, she'll wake up, and then you'll get hurt, because she'll blame this on you. That's what Ino does. Go back to sleep."

So he did.

Another half hour later, Ino in her entirety was on top of him.

Shikamaru's eyes shot open yet again.

He looked down.

Ino mumbled something incoherent before nuzzling close, gripping Shikamaru tight as if he were a pillow.

Resigned, Shikamaru sighed, and finally fell asleep.

The surface beneath her was wonderfully warm and solid when Ino woke, which made no sense, since mattresses are supposed to be springy, of course.

What on earth?

She went to stretch, but found that task to be a little difficult. Two powerful, yet gentle arms were wrapped around her, holding her snugly in place. Her eyes traveled upward, and she saw Shikamaru's sleeping face. Her eyes moved downward. She was sprawled on top of him, and their legs were tangled together.

Silence.

For all of two seconds.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

Woah...that was a loooong chapter! ::grins:: Completely off the wall, too, I know. This story is so much fun to write! (The Ho-Ho comment was just for you, Alpha!) And to the Naru/Saku FC members, I love all y'all!

And to all my reviewers, yet again, you are my motivators! THANK YOU!!! ::grins::

Next...fun skiing!! WOOOOT!!!!