Bittersweet

Ch.4 The Funeral

I tear my heart open; I sew myself shut

And my weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Papa Roach: Scars

The week before the funeral was horrible. People skirted around James in the hallways, as though he had a nasty disease. James did not notice or care about this. He simply delved himself into his schoolwork. The four marauders rarely laughed, and when they did laugh, it was forced and strained.

The day before the memorial, Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily got permission to go. Peter had to go home to his sick grandmother instead. That night the 7th year boys' dormitory was hushed and subdued. Even when Sirius accidentally switched his nose onto a butterbeer bottle no one said anything.

Sirius refused to Dumbledore to go. Instead, he would be going as Snuffles, The Potter's "dog". He couldn't handle going as a human; he couldn't handle the emotions. He felt horrible for James, who couldn't go as Prongs.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter had their lives to live. True, they weren't young, but they had many good years left. Then Voldemort had to come and kill them. All these deaths, all these lives, were all because of Voldemort. He wondered how many people's lives would be sacrificed before this madness ended…

"We have lost two very good aurors, and today, we know that their deaths will not be in vain. We shall catch the ones who did this to the Potters. Thank you." The Minister was not good at speeches, and this was a record horrible one. Dumbledore stepped back up to the platform. "Now, there is one other person who would like to speak." He stepped down to make way for…Lily? Her face was as red as her auburn hair, with teas in her eyes.

"I didn't know the Potters as well as some, but I did know them. They were unusually kind to me, unlike many adults in the wizarding world. Most pureblood adults shunned me because of my heritage, but the Potters looked past that. They saw what few purebloods saw: they saw a person.

"The minister says that we lost two good aurors, but he's wrong. We didn't lose two good aurors; we lost two great people. I leave you with a poem that I wrote for this occasion. I believe that the Potters would agree with it.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

I am the song that will never end.
I am the love of family and friend.
I am the child who has come to rest
In the arms of the father who knows him best.
When you see the sunset fair,
I am the scented evening air.

I am the joy of a task well done.
I am the glow of the setting sun.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die."

She looked straight at James and said," Let us not gather here to morn their deaths, but to celebrate their lives. The Potters taught me to not dwell on horrid events, and forget to live, so in their memory, I will do as they would want me to, and live on." Tears were now streaming down her face as she stepped down from the podium.

James could not think. Good Lord, he loved that girl. He now felt that a huge weight had been lifted off of him. Sirius nudged James's hand as he absentmindedly stroked the dog's head.

Back in the Griffindor common room, only Lily and James remained. Everyone else had deserted the common room hours ago. Lily sighed. "I don't know much of anything about you. How about we play Truth or Truth, and later Remus and Sirius can join us for Dare or Dare. "Okay," James said enthusiastically. This opportunity was way too good to pass up. He would take advantage of this opportunity, despite his loss.

"I'll go first. James, what is your favorite color?" "Blue, duh. It goes with Sirius's favorite color, pink." James responded while Lilly looked disgusted at his friend's choice of color.

"Lilly, how are you so brilliant?" Lilly laughed. " I study, you great oaf," She said and play slapped his arm.

"Why do you always ask me out?" James gaped at her, then slowly said," Because of your hair, your smile, your personality, and your soul. It amazes me that you can be so beautiful, physically and mentally." These words floored Lilly. James smirked at her mouth that was hanging open.

"My turn. Why do you always turn me down?" James asked, still smirking at Lilly. "Ahh, well, erm… I used to think you were immature arrogant prat who couldn't think of anyone else but himself, and that I wouldn't date you if you were the last male on earth." She said very quickly, as if saying it all fast would lessen the words.

James's heart cracked at that moment, as did his voice. " And now?" he asked in a voice not his own.

"Now I think… that you have shown a different side of you to me. That James Potter is sensitive and caring and brave. It's that James Potter that Dumbledore made head boy, it's that James potter that helps Remus, and it's that James Potter that I want to go out with."

"Re…Really?" James stuttered, and Lilly nodded, losing herself in his hazel eyes, while James lost herself in her green ones. They intertwined fingers as they slowly leaned forward…