Chapter 29

Elphaba and Fiyero silently watched the Wizard as he started speaking. His voice was quiet and calm, yet firm and determined at the same time. "I hope you understand the difficulty I had in having to make such a decision, to choose between my two children."

Elphaba nodded. "I do," she quietly replied.

"But I finally made up my mind," said the Wizard. "I thought about everything you've said and my conclusion is… that you are right. No matter how much I would like to be a proper father for you, it's already too late, and I've caused you so much damage already, it's probably beyond repair. You have your own family to take care of now, you shouldn't dig in the past; it will do you no good. It was a painful decision for me to make but I think that as you said, it would be for the best, as much as I would like it to be otherwise."

She sat across from him, and didn't remove her gaze from him as he spoke. Her heart was screaming that it was never too late, while her more logical self knew that it was the right thing to do. After all, she was the one pushing her father to think so in the first place. Yet, somewhere deep inside of her, she couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. There was that small part of her who wanted to have a father figure in her life, not the father that Frex had been all these years, but a real caring father. No matter how much she tried to deny the truth, she knew that if she gave him the chance, he would do just that.

Yet, he had made the decision. For both of them.

And he must leave.

"All right," she said eventually. "Then we'll do it."

Her father looked at her. He looked so miserable. "Elphaba, I would have given everything to-"

Elphaba raised her hand to quiet him. "Please, don't," she said quietly. "Don't make it harder than it already is." She felt her eyes sting with the unwanted presence of tears and got up abruptly. "Excuse me," she mumbled and left the room. She could hear Fiyero calling after her, but she didn't turn back.

She went through her sorcery books but couldn't really concentrate on what she was reading. As she walked into the attic she thought that finding the right spell in her books would be a good distraction, but it actually wasn't. She couldn't quite define the ache in her heart. Was it a sense of loss? Or regret? Whatever it was, Elphaba told herself over and over again that it shouldn't be there. It was the right thing to do; she knew it.

She sighed and turned another page in the book.

"Elphie?" Glinda's voice erupted her silent thinking. She turned to face her best friend, who stood on the threshold with a concerned expression on her face. "Fiyero just told me what happened," she said quietly. "Are you alright?" Her voice was soft, as if she was talking to her son.

Elphaba shook her head slowly. "Yes, I mean… I think so… I'm not sure," she admitted finally.

Glinda sighed and entered the room. She sat next to Elphaba and wrapped her arm around Elphaba's shoulder. "It's okay to be upset, you know. No matter what you think his choice should be."

"I don't know if I'm upset, I'm just not-"

"Happy?"

Elphaba shook her head in protest. "I have my husband and my daughter with me, and I have you, I'm as happy as I can ever be."

"But you don't have your father," Glinda observed.

"I've never had him anyway. I'm not even sure it could be different this time."

"But it might have been," insisted Glinda, ever the romantic.

Elphaba sighed. "He has to leave. It's for everyone's good. Thinking otherwise would be a cruel illusion."

Glinda shook her head, not at all convinced. "Did you stop to consider that perhaps the illusion is yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"You try to convince yourself that he hadn't changed when both of us know that he had. You tell yourself that his leaving would be for everyone's good, but would it, really?"

"I'll admit, I don't trust him, and I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want him to hurt Dawn."

"He'd never hurt Dawn, he adores her!"

"Look, Glinda, this is pointless. He's going home, it's over," said Elphaba, looking away. More tears. She hated them; they were so distracting.

"It's okay to cry," Glinda said gently. Elphaba, who couldn't speak, just shook her head, her gaze still turned away. "Elphie… please think about it again," pleaded Glinda.

Elphaba turned to face her. Some tears still sparkled in the corners of her eyes, but she looked in control again. "I have," she said. "They must go. Will you help me?"

"If you're sure you want that, of course I will. Though I'm not sure I'll be able to do another spell from that book."

"How did you do the other one, then?"

Glinda smiled. "I think it's because I wanted you back here with us. I missed you so much, it made me stronger somehow, and more powerful, I guess. I was determined to bring you back, whatever it took." Her tone was soft and somewhat shy.

Elphaba smiled and took Glinda's hand in hers. "Well, you brought me back, Glinda, and I'll be thankful for the rest of my life."

"That's what friends are for, Elphie, you know you have done the same." Elphaba nodded, distracted. "So do you want to do that spell right now?"

"I haven't found one yet. I think I'll just leave it for tomorrow morning. I'm too upset right now to think about it," she said without thinking.

Glinda nodded. Of course Elphaba was upset; it was easy to tell, even if she did her best trying to deny or conceal it. She wasn't very good at concealing her emotions, not as she used to be in their younger days at Shiz. She pulled her friend to her feet. "Come on. Let's get out of here," she said. Together, they went back to the library to join Boq and Fiyero who waited for them there.