Iruka wasn't sure whether Kakashi and Sakura's wedding was slightly more, or slightly less, wretched than his parents funeral. After a while the two started to blur in his mind. People wearing white, priests, incense, ceremony, tears, flowers. He drank a lot of champagne, which left him more confused but no less unhappy.

As soon as he could he slipped away and went home. To the little house that was now just his house, since the village had provided the famous copy nin and his new bride with a home closer to the center of town. He picked up Gai's latest floral offering on the way in, and looked in vain for an unoccupied vessel that would hold water, to put it in. Finding none he dropped the cut ends of the stems in the goldfish bowl and went to lie down on the bed, which was now just his bed.

Kakashi really tried to bring a spark of something, anything to his wedding night. He had read almost all the way through two whole Icha Icha volumes in preparation. And no one had chakra control like his. But his heart, quite frankly, was not in it. The sex was exuberant, inspired even, effective and completely passionless. Sakura told herself that it was enough for him to satisfy her with mind-blowing orgasms even if they did seem hollow and cold beyond the pyrotechnics. She knew that Kakashi was fond of her and that gave her something to build on, more might come in time.

The next night was very much the same and so was the next. By the third week his casual cheerfulness was starting to show just a little strain. Sakura decided to spare them both the charade, she said she was tired and went to bed early. She started going to bed early a lot. When Kakashi was sent on a solo three-week mission, just after their first month of marriage, it was a relief to both of them.

It was a hard mission. The kind with poison vines that tangled around his limbs and burned off his skin where they touched. Stealthed shinobi that materialised out of the mists attacking him with every kind of sharp or explosive weapon he'd ever heard of. And huge rocks falling on his head every time he went anywhere near a damn hillside and sometimes even when he didn't. And to cap it all, his feet were cold and wet the whole time. He was miserable, but he was even more miserable at the thought of going home.

When Kakashi staggered back through the gate he was cut, he was tired and he was definitely feeling some kind of mind-altering effect from the poison on those vines. So it wasn't altogether strange that he found himself climbing in through Iruka's bedroom window, the one he had always returned to after a mission, and not his own.

"Kakashi what are you doing here?" Iruka gasped, woken from his shallow sleep by the familiar chakra.

"Oh sorry, wrong house. I just got back." The copy nin said distractedly.

Iruka immediately picked up on the slur in his speech. "Well you're in terrible shape, rest and let me clean you up a bit before you go home."

Although he was married to the best medical nin in the village, the thought of Iruka's gentle fingers tending his wounds was more than Kakashi could resist. The teacher waited outside the bathroom while he took a shower and turned his back when he came out wrapped in nothing but a towel.

"You're going to have to look at me if you're going to fix these holes." Kakashi said as lightly as he could, stretching out on the bed. The bed that smelled so strongly of Iruka that he was forced to redirect much needed energy to stop his thoughts from showing.

"Yes." Iruka said glancing up shyly from the bandages and salves that he was fussing with.

He peeled back the towel and turned his attention to the largest wound. A six inch gash from a kunai across his abdomen that Kakashi had decided, in the heat of battle, was preferable to a slice with a katana across his neck. The wound wasn't serious, barely more than skin deep, but it was bleeding steadily. Iruka applied an antibiotic and closed it with strips. Then, before he taped gauze over it, he couldn't resist his old superstitious habit and leaned in to kiss it better. Kakashi felt hot lips trembling against his skin. He grabbed the younger man's hand and pulled him towards him, forcing him to make eye contact.

"Iruka when did you last have sex?"

The teacher looked away, staring at the other man's white fingers and red blood on his hand. "You know when Kakashi."

"You mean the night before my wedding? But that was more than two months ago!"

Iruka wanted to cry, he clamped down on his feelings, locking them up tightly. He'd got good at that lately. "I've gone longer."

Kakashi was shocked to see how his sweet over emotional lover had become so repressed and joyless. "Well you shouldn't. I'll tell the lovely Yuki to pay you a visit."

Iruka's eyes darted back to his, open wide in horror. "NO! Please Kakashi, I'd feel that I was sleeping with one of my students."

"Well I'm sleeping with one of mine."

That should have earned him at least a blush, it didn't. "Don't tease me, I'm really not up for it right now."

Now Kakashi was really worried. "Well Gai then." He sniffed the air. "He's still sending you flowers?"

Iruka nodded.

"Give him another chance, and stay the night this time. Just close your eyes, his stamina is legendary." Kakashi brushed the dark hair away from the teacher's face and kissed his forehead. "You need it Iruka."

Iruka finished cleaning and bandaging Kakashi's wounds, but without any more kisses, and left him on the bed while he slept on the couch. In the morning the copy nin was gone and there was a note on the kitchen table. Gai 7:00pm stay the night.

Kakashi left Iruka's house and headed for the mission room to turn in his report. His own house was directly on the way. But he had been running and fighting for days and decided that he should keep his muscles stretched by jogging along next to the river. A much longer route and one that took him too far from his home for it to be convenient for him to stop in there. He did however loop back to the academy to make sure that Iruka was there on time. He was relieved to see how much happier the teacher seemed, back in his element with the village children.

After delivering his report he hung out for a while, went to lunch with some friends and later to a bar for snacks and drinks. By early evening he realised that he was never going home again. After walking for many hours he climbed up the Hokage monument and sat on the fourth's head, wondering how different his life would be if Yondaime were still alive.

Iruka had to admit that he really did enjoy Gai's company, especially since he hadn't exchanged more than a few words with anyone over the age of twelve in weeks. The big man's sheer volume of personality forced a little of the old Iruka out of his shell. Konoha's green beast took him to a tiny teahouse at the edge of town, where they were waited on by girls dressed as geishas. The place was old and shabby but the food was exquisite. They chatted and laughed, laughing more and chatting less in proportion to the amount of sake they consumed.

At midnight Gai helped a very relaxed Iruka up to his bachelor apartment. He was confident that he had fed him exactly the right amount of alcohol to make him willing and cooperative, without dulling his senses or coordination too much.

Apart from a few unsatisfactory adolescent fumblings Gai had very little experience in pleasuring another man's body. He did, however, have considerable experience in pleasuring his own. He also had a little orange book that Kakashi had given him weeks before, with certain passages underlined and neat notes in the margin. He had been studying it very carefully for just this occasion.

Iruka was very needy and Gai was inexhaustible. He like Kakashi, had the power and control of the very strong, to be supremely gentle. His big hands had soon covered every inch of Iruka's body, finding all his most sensitive and responsive areas. Iruka was a wonder too, lithe and flexible, with hair that sent tingles through the green beast every time it brushed against him. Gai decided that there was a lot to be said for taking a lover who had been trained by a pervert. He had coaxed six orgasms out of the teacher by the time he decided that he was sufficiently sated to let him rest. Gai had enjoyed ten, not a record for him, but they had all been exceptionally good. Iruka was indeed a treasure.

"Goodnight my sweet Iruka, I love you." He said, brushing his lips against a tan cheek as he settled down next to him.

Iruka's eyes fluttered but didn't open. "Thank you Kakashi, that was soo good, I love you too."

Well maybe he wasn't there yet but Gai knew that with hard work he would make Iruka his. He really didn't care about his rival's challenge any more, now he was aiming for this most rare and valuable prize for it's own sake.

Iruka woke up and reached out to the man lying next to him. Something wasn't right, he was too big and too hairy. He opened his eyes slowly to look at the face next to his. GAI! But it couldn't be, some of the things he'd done last night… only Kakashi knew those things. He pulled the sheet up to his chin and started to look around anxiously for his clothes.

"Ah sweet Iruka, so we awake to the first morning of our love."

"Er Gai-san, I really have to get going. I need to go home and change my clothes, I don't want to be late for school."

Iruka pulled on his clothes and fell out of the door. He got almost two blocks before he threw up the dinner he had eaten the night before.

When he reached his house he knew Kakashi was there before he opened the door. He found him in the bedroom sitting on the bed.

"How was Gai?" He asked as Iruka sat next to him.

"Good, really good. He got me drunk and I thought that he was you. When I woke up this morning and found he wasn't I got sick. How's Sakura?"

Kakashi shook his silver hair. "I don't know, I haven't been home. I just can't do it Iruka. I tried to disobey and run but I couldn't. Then I tried obeying and marrying but I can't do that either."

The pillow on Kakashi's side of the bed was slightly rumpled. Iruka slipped his hand under it and pulled out a short sword. A model of cruel beauty in steel.

"So you thought you'd slit yourself open like your father did and leave me to deal with the mess."

Kakashi shook his head again and took the sword from him. "I wouldn't have done it here, I just came back for this."

A moment of perfect understanding passed between them.

"Alright." Iruka said, standing and walking to a chest in the corner of the room. "But no blood. I've lived with enough nightmares about your blood, I don't want to die with one. I have poison."

He pulled a small envelope from the back of the chest then stepped back to the bed and tipped five blue capsules into the palm of his hand.

"Cyanide."

"But Iruka! When…?"

He shook his head and sat down, "It doesn't matter, I've had them a long time. In case you ever didn't come back."

"Is there enough?"

The teacher nodded. "Should be, one's a lethal dose."

They lay down and snuggled together in the middle of the bed. Iruka put the capsules into his mouth. He bit down hard and his senses were flooded by the scent of almonds.

"Urgh, bitter, shouldn't our last kiss be sweet?"

"It will be, I promise it will be." Kakashi said before pressing their mouths together to claim his share.

It was Sakura who found them first. She knew exactly where to look when she found out that her silver haired husband had been back from his mission for more than a day. They were lying on the bed, in each other's arms. Blue lips still touching.

Gai found her there too, sitting on the bed sobbing. He had picked up something vaguely disturbing in Iruka's chakra trail and followed him home. He'd have forfeited a million challenges to have just this one turn out differently.

"So in the end they just couldn't live without each other."

He held Sakura and let her cry into his broad chest. Eventually she looked up at him, her eyes green wells of sadness.

"I tried to warn Hokage-sama. I told her how unhappy Kakashi-chan was. But she thought the worst they would do was run, that we'd be able to get them back and reach some kind of compromise."

Gai shook his head. "My Rival would never betray his village by going missing. She should have spoken with his friends."

"So what do we do now?" Sakura asked, suddenly feeling much too young.

"We shall have them buried in one grave. Then they will never be apart again."

The End… unless you want to continue?