Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to Banshee Queen, as it is her favourite so far. And sorry to all those Orlando Bloom fans out there, I bag Paris a fair bit, a thousand apologies.

Disclaimer: Nothing from Troy belongs to me, but I'm starting to wonder if they sell blow up Hector dolls, just kidding.

Scene changes to Sparta

Menelaus: Princes of Troy, I would like to propose a toast, to your father, who might I say has never looked more mascul -, what I mean to say is I still respect him, even though he has declared peace with me! If he really thinks I'm going to leave Troy alone and never attack you again, he's got another think coming. To peace; an easy way to slaughter your enemies.

Hector and Paris exchange worried looks.

Guard whispers something in Menelaus' ear.

Menelaus: (to guard) What do you mean I shared too much! (then to crowd) Sorry, forget everything I just told you.

Hector and Paris looked relieved. They drink their wine. Dancers start dancing, Menelaus proceeds to French kiss as many as he possibly can. Helen leaves and heads upstairs to her room. Paris follows, Hector sees this and stands guard at the stairs, not looking the least bit inconspicuous.

Paris bolts the door. Helen turns around.

Helen: You shouldn't be here.

Paris: That's what you said last night.

Helen: Last night was a mistake, which is ironic really (thoughtfully, Paris looks puzzled). 'Because you're a mistake Paris' (doesn't say this out loud)

Paris: And the night before that?

Helen: I have made many mistakes this week.

Paris: Do you want me to go?

Helen undoes her dress.

Helen: Yes, (moans slightly) go all the way.

Paris: Fine (angrily heads for the door)

Helen: No, you're not understanding me, I said go, all the way.

Paris: And I'm going, all the way to the door.

Helen: Bloody Hades, Paris, get your scrawny ass over here and I'll give you a lap dance!

Paris: Well when you put it that way...

Paris and Helen make out, which looks uncomfortable for Helen, as she's wearing nothing and Paris has still got all his armour on.

2 Hours Later

Hector is checking his sun dial watch

Hector: Oh come on Paris, you can't be still going, you're a bloody asthmatic.

Meanwhile up in Helen's room. Helen is lying on the bed, Paris walks over to her.

Paris: Here, it's a necklace, I made it myself. (sounds very proud of himself).

Paris hands Helen a tie died noodle necklace. Helen looks rather taken aback, but accepted the gift however dejected she felt.

Helen: They're um...beautiful, but I could never wear them, Menelaus would kill us both (relieved to have found an excuse not to wear it).

Paris: You don't have to fear him, I mean, if I was you I'd be terrified, but then again I'm afraid of everyone.

Helen: I don't, what I fear is tomorrow, and you sailing away, and knowing I'll never see you again. Before you came to Sparta, I was a ghost, I could piss in the middle of the table and no one would notice.

Paris: Zeus, you're so hot when you swear. Come with me, sail away with me tomorrow.

Helen doesn't answer, Paris assumes this is a 'yes'.