LOST IN TRANSCRIPTION
Claire walked out from behind CHARLIE, who was in the middle of staring at the newly-found Starbucks. "YAY!" she shrieked. "CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FOUR!" She then skipped off into the jungle from her abundance of excitement.
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CHAPTER 4
Death and Discovery
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Charlie glanced around. He could have SWORN he hear someone shrieking from excitement behind him. Oh well. He turned back to the STARBUCKS!
It was sparkly. It was glistening. It was radiant. It was shining. It was metallic. It was oozing some sort of angelic music. IT WAS AMAZING. PERIOD.
Charlie sighed. IGGY sighed. The two of them sighed, entranced by the sight that had decided to grace their eyes. MAGNIFICENT.
Then Charlie's stomach growled.
Snapping out of his trance, Charlie determinedly glared at the Starbucks. "Hmmmmmmm…." he said. "IGGY, what kind of a sign is THIS?" He glanced over to his reptilian compatriot.
IGGY WAS LYING ON THE GROUND, DEAD.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Charlie sobbed as he dropped to the ground next to his companion. "WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT YOU, IGGY? WHO WILL TELL ME I'M SPECIAL? WHO WILL TELL ME THAT THE ISLAND WILL GIVE ME A SIGN? WHO WILL EAT MY BUTTOCKS?"
IGGY did not respond. He was dead, after all.
Charlie thought. "IGGY (sob) must have brought me here to this location for a reason…" he said to himself. He glanced up at the Starbucks again.
I'M GOING IN he thought.
He stood up, brushed the dirt off of his knees, and strode over to the tree nearest to him that was supporting the Starbucks. He grasped either side of the trunk with his hands, and hoisted himself up.
After a few minutes of climbing this tree like some sort of an awkward, ugly koala, Charlie finally was able to grab the front stoop with his right hand. Glancing at his fingers, he somehow realized that instead of "LATE" or "FATE" written on them, "IGGY" was now mystically written. Nodding his head in acknowledgement, he hoisted himself into the ajar Starbucks door.
No lights were on, and the only lamps in the building hung at crooked angles. Everything in front of him was covered in a thin layer of dust: the plush purple armchairs, the petite café tables, the empty garbage cans, even the aged coffee machines. He carefully tiptoed up to the counter. All was silent…
"Hello?" he called. His voice bounced around the room, but was soon absorbed by the collection of dust. Silence.
Walking along the length of the counter, his hand eventually came to rest on a small hinged door. It creaked open, and he stepped behind the counter. Still, all dust. Glancing around, his eyes suddenly found the seemingly only two items in the store without a speck of dust: a coffee machine, and a single Venti-sized coffee cup.
Slowly and deliberately and as though it was controlled by a puppeteer, Charlie found his left hand being drawn to the cup and his right to the coffee machine. DON'T! he thought. THIS CAN'T BE GOOD!… but before he could stop it, the coffee was in the cup.
He stared at the contents of the cup. A frothy, white substance was swirling in its keep. The liquid seemed to give off a kind of glow…it was beautiful…he felt his face being drawn closer and closer…
Charlie jerked away. NO! THIS COULD BE LETHAL! He thought.
His hands tightened on the cup…
NO!
He felt his hands raising the cup…
BAD HANDS!
His lips graced the side of the cup…
NOOO! RETREAT! RETREAT!
His hands were tipping the cup…..
NOOOOOOO - HEY, WAIT. THIS ISN'T TOO BAD…
He felt the frothy warmness pout down his throat….the taste was indescribable. He tasted hints of caramel, coffee, chocolate, sushi….wait. WHITE CHOCOLATE?
Suddenly, a white mist clouded Charlie's eyes. He felt his body go numb, then limp. He couldn't see anything…..he felt his head hit tile….that must be the floor….a hoot liquid scald him…that must be the coffee….pain radiated from his head…..it was splitting….it was AWFUL…….black started to encase his world……
A white shape floated above his face….there was green on it too…he felt himself being lifted….he was passing the coffee machines….he was going through the hinged door on the counter…..he was passing the dusty plush purple armchairs and petite café tables…..he was going out the door…..he felt a soft, gliding descend…..
His eyes cleared for a split second. He could of sworn he could make out a shape in green on the whiteness of his guardian…
Charlie gasped. It hit him.
"ARE YOU MY WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA LATTE?" he asked the blurred white shape in front of his eyes. He couldn't make it out…if he could, he could find out if he had found his elephantine cup of java at last…..
He blacked out.
Claire walked out from behind the corpse of IGGY THE WONDER IGUANA WITH A MEXICAN MOUSTACHE. "We apologize for the fact that this chapter wasn't was funny as previous ones. We are truly sorry. Anyhow, keeping looking (and probably waiting) for the next chapter! Merry Christmas!" Then she walked into the woods…