Author's Note: Ok, prepare yourself, Tecton is really random, but other than that, I'm pretty proud of this chapter.
Disclaimer: Own nothing to do with Troy, but a blow up Hector doll is looking really promising.
Scene changes to Hector giving his men a pep talk outside of Troy
Hector: People, people, I need a little hush please.
Tecton: IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HADES UP I'LL PERSONALLY KILL YOU MYSELF AND THEN SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE SO MANY TIMES WE'LL HAVE A FAMILY OF BASTARD CHILDREN.
Hector frowns: Uh...thanks Tecton...I think. Anyway, as I was saying. All my life -
A soldier mutters something.
Tecton: That's it! You there, if I were you I'd be hoping your wife had that hysterectomy at her last doctor's appointment.
Hector and all the guards looks grossed out.
Hector: All my life, I've lived by a code, and the code is simple. Honour the gods, love your woman (gives a sideways, disgusted, glance at Tecton), or man, because I know there's some of you... (remembers what he's supposed to be saying) and defend your country, let's kick some ass.
Soldier cheer as the ride off towards the beach. Hector all the time wondering if anyone else had this much trouble with his speeches.
Scene changes to Achilles on his boat full of Myrmidons
Achilles: Patroclus, I need to tell you something.
Patroclus: I know...about your ...(whispers) little problem.
Myrmidons snigger.
Achilles: Ok for that you don't get to fight. (pokes tongue out at Patroclus, who decides to sulk at the back of the boat).
Achilles: Myrmidons, my brothers of the sword. I would rather be fighting along side you than any army of thousands. Let them not forget how menacing we are. We are lions.
Achilles' speech is interrupted by the Myrmidons banging their spears on the deck, however they used the wrong end, instead of holding their spears upright and battering them against the deck that way, they used the spear heads.
Achilles: Look I'm trying to talk here. as I was saying -
Eudorus: Sir!
Achilles ignores him
Achilles: Beyond that beach, immortality, take it it's yours.
Eudorus: Sir!
Achilles: What is it now?
Eudorus: We're sinking.
What no one realised when the Myrmidons were beating their spear heads on the deck, many holes were put into the boat.
Achilles: Jump men jump, if you can't swim that's your tough luck.
Everyone except Patroclus, who appears to be still sulking jumps over the side.