Author's Note -
Hey everybody. I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving ... and whoever isn't in the US or doesn't celebrate holidays, well, I hope that you have had a wonderful week. So, I've learned some things lately ... don't trust technology and always keep a back up copy of writing. This morning I was going to work a bit on this story and when I started my laptop it wasn't working ... so, I told my parents and after we got home from a day full of family filled excitement, I took another look at it. Fortunately, I found the problem and fixed it before my dad came to look but the lesson is that if you don't keep a back up and your computer breaks ... you're screwed. I was panicking because I didn't have a second copy of anything beyond Chapter 10 saved on our other computer. So, learn a lesson from me.
And if you don't wanna or can't use that lesson - remember this - BOYS ARE STRONGER AND DON'T ENTER INTO UNCLE CONTESTS WITH A BOY WHO IS JUST AS STUBBORN, LIFTS WEIGHTS AND IS A GOOD COUPLE INCHES TALLER AND A LOT STRONGER. YOU WON'T COME OUT IN ONE PIECE! YOUR WRIST WILL HURT! FOR DAYS!
Everybody understand. I hope that you're all nodding ... otherwise I'll be sad.
Now on with the thanks.
-A-
Author Thanks -
Lil Bit - Thanks a bunch, poppet! Hope you liked your little trip ... didn't miss much on Wednesday. Enjoy! TTYL.
Anaknusan - Thanks! And thanks for the PM ... always appreciated. Aye, foreshadowing ... gotta love it, huh? Well, I guess you don't gotta ... but I do it anyway, lol. Enjoy!
lady lorethei - Thanks! ME? Enjoy making my reviewers suffer? Nah, you must have the wrong girl. I don't know what you're talking about shifts in seat nervously Enjoy!
RMB - Thanks! I love reading your reviews ... they're great because I get to see what you were thinking at a particular section ... and it makes me laugh. (a very good thing) Jack says that only wanna-bees say 'Shiver me timbers.' Not that pirates use the term wannabees but he picked that up from me. Anywho, thanks for the complement on the end message, too. I had fun writing it. hehe. Enjoy!
Moulin-Rouge-Pirate - Thanks! LOL ... yes, he's bad. Enjoy!
S.S.I. - Thanks! Yay! 5 bucks! Now I can put gas in my car! Yippee! smiles broadly and calls to group of friends, 'we're hittin' the town tonight, ladies and gents!' massive cheering from CCGIT's bedroom.' Eek ... I'm hyper. Michigan ... brr ... its cold here ... we had snow the other day but it melted. Enjoy!
completeopposites - Thanks! Enjoy!
TriGemini - Thanks! I can't tell you why ... that would ruin the point of you reading, lol. Enjoy!
CaptainTish - Thanks for the many reviews! Always appreciated. Hope you continue to enjoy my story!
jisAtsU siLENcE - Thanks! Its okay, I knew what you meant! Enjoy!
Jinxd n cursed – Thanks! I almost missed your review! Phew … close one, there. I'm gonna take a stab at the fact that you were hungry when you wrote that review, lol. Happy Thanksgiving to you too! Enjoy!
-A-
Last Time -
I nodded, imagining how the sand would feel between my toes. I relaxed further into Jack's body and let the warmth of his voice and the warmth of his body carry me away until I drifted to sleep.
-A-
Beyond the Horizon
Chapter 11 - Espionage?
When I woke up, Colin was sitting in an armchair that had been pulled near to the bed. He and Jack were talking quietly ... I was still leaning on Jack. In truth, I was touched that he decided to stay put and not move me because I wasn't feeling well.
"Hi," I whispered.
"Love, we were wondering exactly what it was that Rion said to you. Its very, very important," Jack said.
"All right ..." I paused for a moment, organising my thoughts before launching into my story.
When I had finished, I twisted in Jack's arms to look at him.
He ran a hand over my hair soothingly. "Not that I'm upset with you, Christy ... but you really should have told me sooner."
"How could I have ... you sent me to bed, if you remember correctly."
"That's not what I meant. I mean that you should have told me that he was acting oddly before now."
I pushed myself up in the bed. "I did, Jack. I told you a few days ago that there was a crewmember acting oddly. Remember?"
Jack looked pensive for a moment but shrugged. "I suppose."
Colin looked over at Jack with an odd expression on his face. "And when did you loose the map?"
"That was the day that I told you about Rion," I supplied.
Jack gently maneuvered me around so that he could get up. He started pacing around the cabin, muttering to himself. "But if he ... he couldn't ... picked him up ... but ..."
I looked over at Colin who, thankfully, had the same confused expression on his face that I knew I had on mine.
"Jack, what are you on about?" I asked carefully.
Jack didn't pause in his pacing. "Just thinkin', love. Putting pieces of this wonderful little puzzle that we have before us together."
"Cap'n, I should think that if one of the crew 'as been not pullin' 'is fair share o' the load and 'as been threatenin' the cap'n's woman ... perhaps 'e should be confronted afore anything happens to said lady," Colin supplied.
Jack stopped. "Yes, I know that. I'm just thinkin' of the best way to go about it all. Just like with Barbossa, we have to wait for the opportune moment."
I pushed myself up further and sat at the edge of the bed. "Do you think its a little late for the opportune moment? He's already threatening me and you ... although indirectly."
"Cap'n, I think I have an idea ..." Colin said, casting a deliberate look at me.
I had a vague idea of what he was thinking and shook my head slowly. "NO. I am NOT."
Jack grinned slowly and I could see a plan forming in his mind.
I shook my head again. "Jack ... you're not going to do this to me."
"We're not going to let anything happen to you, love. But maybe you would be a good candidate for a spy."
"Jack Sparrow, you are not going to do this to me. No way in hell."
"Just think about it, lass. If we catch him at it, then, there's nothing to worry about in future. You can sleep safe ... cap'n can sleep easily ... I can sleep easily. Everyone comes out ahead," Colin assured.
I bit my lip and shook my head again, all the more frantically this time. "You're not going to use me as bait. You're not going to use me as a spy. You're not going to use me, period. I'm not your bloody tool. Don't even assume that I am."
Jack walked over to me and knelt down before me. He cupped my chin gently with his hand and said quietly, "Think about it darling. All we have to hear is his plan ... whatever it may be and then we're the one's laughing. Its easy, darling."
"Jack, you don't know where I'm coming from on this one. You don't follow my fears this time. Trust me, I'm not doing it," I said, my voice cracking as I began to feel frantic.
He sighed. "All you have to do is pretend that I'm not here with the gun pointed at him and neither is Colin. It wouldn't be that we'd let him be alone with you. We'll be concealed so that we can see him but he can't see us. What's the worst that could happen?"
"You arrogant fool. A lot can happen. Things can happen quickly. Do I NEED to remind you of Hawaii?" The moment I said this, I wished that I hadn't.
Colin hastened from the room, muttering something about food to make.
And I was left alone with Jack. He just stared at me and dropped his hand slowly from my face. His eyes were veiled but I could see the pain behind them.
"Jack ... I'm sorry ... I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry," I whispered.
He didn't answer. He merely pushed himself up and walked to the window, standing straight-backed as he stared out at the sea.
I walked over to him and put a hand gently on his shoulder. But he shook me off. "I'm sorry..."
There was no answer.
I had hurt him.
It didn't get any simpler than that.
In that simple question that I had asked, I cut through all the layers of Captain Jack Sparrow ... I had cut straight to the core. To the heart of his very existence. Seven words ... that was all that it had taken.
Tears welled up in my eyes as he continued to ignore me.
Or perhaps it wasn't him ignoring me ... perhaps he had just been taken back to the time when both our lives changed forever. Perhaps he had just been forced to remember everything that we had gone through.
I hung my head in shame and stood there ... feeling sorrier than I had in my entire life. "I didn't mean that, Jack ... I'm sorry."
He didn't respond.
I sighed deeply. I took a deep breath and without looking at him said, "I'm sorry. I just feel that sometimes you don't understand how much it hurt. I don't think that you know how afraid I am of it happening again. Of loosing you. Of loosing myself. It's taken me a long time to get over everything that has happened and it scares me. But there was no reason for me to say that ... I'm sorry."
Jack didn't respond still.
"Jack, please ... just say something."
"What do you want me to say, Christina?" he asked angrily. "Do you want me to sweep you into my arms and say that everything is better? That I don't care what you say, you'll still be correct in my book? That you could rub all my failings into my face without me minding?"
"No ... I just ... I don't know ... I didn't mean it."
"Whether you mean things or not doesn't ease the sting, darling. There's consequences to everything."
I sighed. "Yes well, you don't seem to think that I didn't have any cause for saying that? You were going to use me as bloody bait! Wave me in front of him so that you can get all the information in the easiest way possible. I'm not the one who so quickly sacrifices the person that they love. I'm not the one who would risk the mother of their child for a ship."
A dark look crossed Jack's face and in a flash he grabbed me by the shoulders. Not tightly enough to hurt me but enough to force me to face him. He leaned down so that he was level with my face and said in a fierce whisper, "Did it cross your mind that I was going to have all aspects of this covered? Did it even register in that little head of yours that I was going to make sure that you were safe? That Colin and I would both have guns ... loaded and ready in case something went amiss? Or do you assume that I forget what happened last time? For your information, missy, I will NEVER forget what happened. Not if I tried. That it haunts my dreams ... the fact that I came so close to loosing you and there wasn't anything that I could have done to save you if I got the wrong information. Do you think I wanted you to experience that? Do you think that I wish ill on those I love? Or do you think that you are the only one who suffered while you were gone?"
I jerked away from him and spat, "How dare you even assume that I think that you didn't miss me but you weren't there, were you? You didn't know what I went through. You weren't there! You think I don't wake up with a cold sweat from the nightmares? That I don't have flashbacks? Kisses and presents and vows of love don't take away what happened, Jack Sparrow. Everything is burnt into my soul and no matter how hard I scrub there are some stains that I can't remove. Do you think that I don't fear anything? That I don't worry that one day you'll leave me and something will happen and I'll loose Rhia and everything that I have. Or that someone will come. How can you even think you understand what goes through my mind?"
Jack dropped his hands. "Yes, Christina ... that's right. You are the only one who suffers. No one else understands you and nothing is ever your fault. That's the way to think of it."
I really wanted to slap him ... but I didn't. I knew that however angry either of us was ... it would pass in time. And me slapping him would only make it all worse by a lot. "Do you know what, Captain? You are not infallible, either. So quit acting like it," I said in a venomous whisper before leaving the cabin in a huff.
But it was pointless because I didn't know where to go. Colin knew that I had been at fault and I didn't want to go where Rion might be ... which was anywhere. So, instead of wandering off aimlessly and possibly getting into more trouble, I sat down beside the door, lost in my thoughts. I hadn't intended that to happen. I hadn't intended to hurt Jack. I hadn't intended to damage our relationship. I hadn't intended to do it ... truly.
-A-
I didn't speak to Jack for several hours. We both needed time to calm down. Cool our tempers to below the boiling point.
We both knew that we were at fault and we both knew that the other was also at fault.
The thing was that I was stubborn, as was he ... a necessary trait of a pirate captain - to an extent. But our stubbornness also prevented us from seeking the other out and settling things.
I didn't return to the cabin that night.
Or at least, I hadn't intended to.
Still fuming underneath it all, I sat out by the prow, gazing up at the stars even though I didn't really see them. I was too lost in thought. The night crew worked around me as Gibbs steered. Doubtless he knew what had happened but he was relatively non-partial and probably kept one eye on me, so I didn't do anything stupid. I sat silently, as the night became colder and colder.
I shivered. I knew my fever was partially at play for the cold but Caribbean nights tended to become mildly chilly.
But ...
I was far to bull-headed to seek the relative warmth of the cabin.
The pent up pressure of the day was finally starting to get at me and before I even knew it was happening, I was crying silently.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and leaned my head on my knees, to hide the tears. "I'm sorry ... I really didn't mean for this to happen, Jack," I said to myself as I shivered more violently.
"You know ... the cabin is fairly warm ... maybe ye should come in."
I looked up quickly to see Jack standing in front of me. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" I whispered.
In a single movement, Jack took off his jacket and laid it over my shoulders. "Ye should come in, Christy. You'll only get sicker out here."
I rested my head on my knees for a second as I organised my thoughts. I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted to go in or not ... my desire to be warm was fighting with my stubbornness. When I looked back over at him, there was a hand in my line of vision. Knowing a peace offering when I saw one, I took it and let him help me up. I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand when I had stood and allowed Jack to put an arm around me and lead me to the cabin.
"Ye feel like ice, darling," he said quietly.
"I didn't want to make any more mistakes by going back to the cabin. For some reason, I thought it might be a good idea to cut my losses when I had the chance."
Jack laughed slightly. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."
"Nor I at you. I shouldn't have said that, Jack. It wasn't necessary on my part. Unnecessary and cruel. If it were possible to take it back ... I would in a heartbeat ... but I can't change time. I only can wish that I could."
Jack nodded.
I was sure that he was still mad ... in fact, I still was but right now, we were both beyond caring, I think.
"You know, I think I know why we are together, Christy," Jack said.
I looked up at him ... slightly confused as to where he was going.
"It's our stubbornness. We both are too stubborn for our own good and we both have trouble admitting our faults."
"Jack ... that's not why we're together. That's why we fight. We're together because we love each other."
Jack shook his head. "You don't follow. When I picked you off that ship ... I saw a scared little girl ... and with some, well, prodding on my part, I came to see the fierce, strong woman beneath. And even though you are entirely too determined sometimes and don't always think before you speak, you fix things ... or at least you try to."
We were at the cabin now. "You know ... I never held it against you ... what happened. Its not your fault. Nor is it something that you should feel guilt for. Neither of us could have controlled it. And maybe ... just maybe, its made our relationship stronger."
Jack furrowed his brow. "Now how do you figure that?"
"Well ... I doubt that I'd be speaking to you right now if that hadn't happened. I would have just given up on you and wallowed in self pity. Or not given you a chance to talk."
He shook his head slightly and opened the door for me.
We both had said our apologies or at least we had admitted our faults and that was enough for the night. There were times for apologies and this was not one of them. We knew that neither of us had meant what was said ... we knew that we both still loved each other and we also knew that we had traded some fierce verbal barbs. Both of us had spent the day nursing our wounds and now was the time to regroup and make the best of the remainder of the day.
If I had come to any conclusions during my extensive soul-searching of the day, it was that I needed to help Jack by confronting Rion. I just needed to.
"Jack," I whispered, standing nervously before him. "I'll do it."
Jack looked at me for a long time, his dark eyes burning into my soul. "Are you sure you're up to it?"
I nodded. "Yes. I think so, at least."
"You're sure?"
"Yes," I said with more determination this time. "And I have an idea."
Jack grinned. "Yes?"
I nodded. "Trust me. Go get Colin and I'll be ready when you get back."
Jack walked over to me and ran a hand down my arm gently. He leaned down and kissed me softly. "I'll be back."
"All right."
-A-
Author Notes -
Yippee, another chapter! And now a word from our sponsor-
CrazyCanoeingGIT waves to mutinous reviewers holding pitchforks and motions them over. As they warily approach, she stands up on a soap-box and says soothingly, "So, I was going to update much sooner but fanfiction doesn't seem too keen on me or other writers in general ... we aren't able to upload anything. Unless you hit a very small window of problem-free-ness. I'm gonna have to ask you not to kill me this time."
There is a slight scuffle among reviewers.
"Excuse me, CrazyCanoeingGIT. Can I ask you a question?" one very frazzled looking reviewer asks.
She nods. "Of course. Ask anything."
"What happens next?"
CCGIT glances down at imaginary watch. "My look at the time. I must dash. Tchao, mes amies!" CrazyCanoeingGIT sprints off into the horizon ... taking shelter in the ice cream store that she works at.
To find out what happens next, tune into the next installment of Beyond the Horizon ... Part 12.
Mange Klemmar
CrazyCanoeingGIT