Author's Note: Ok, the randomness is back,to the power of10.This chapter is dedicated to my cat, Patrick. Here's lookin at you kid.

Disclaimer:I don't anything to do withTroy, but after writing this chapter,I am really starting to wish I had a blow up Hector doll. Lol.

Scene change to Hector outside his chambers

Something moves in the bushes in the courtyard.

Hector is hesitant. Last time something moved in the bushes and he'd gone to check it out, Paris had been... oh, the memories were too awful.

Hector approaches the bushes, and something scurries away.

Hector: Wait.

The scurrying thing pays no attention and runs off. Hector chases it.

Hector: STOP!

Hector runs into a cloaked figure, gregorian chant is playing the background.

Cloaked figure turns around to faceHector.

Hector: Helen (surprised).

Gregorian chant stops suddenly with the record scratching noise.

Helen tries to run away, Hector grabbing her arm.

Helen: Let me go!

Hector: Shhhh, Paris will hear you, do you know how insanely jealous he is of me?

Helen: I can understand why, (looking down, Hector's skirt fell off when he ran after her, and he's standing in his briefs).

Hector, still holding Helen's arm, sidesteps over to where his skirt was lying, and tries to put it back on with one arm.

Scotsman from previous scenes walks past.

Scotsman: Lost ya kilt there laddie?

Hector blushes deeply.

Helen: I saw your briefs, I saw you briefs when your skirt fell off. It's my fault.

Hector: No, actually it's Andromache's fault for loosening it before, the whore.

Helen: It is, you know it is. All those ... (Helen looks at Hector's downstairs area).

Hector: I get the picture.

Helen: I'm going down to the ships.

Hector: No you're not, you'll tell everyone that I lost my skirt!

Helen: I'll tell Menelaus.

Hector (suddenly worried) It's too late for that. You think Agamemnon cares about you seeing my underwear. This war is over power, not undies.

Helen (changes subject abruptly) Paris is going to fight in the morning?

Hector: You bet ya.

Helen: Menelaus will kill him.

Hector lets go of her and does a huge backflip, then starts dancing around singing 'I'm gonna be an only child, I'm gonna be an only child', throwing confetti into the air.

Helen: I'm not going to let that happen.

Hector stops dead, record scratching noise putting an end to his parade.

Hector: But it's his desicion!

Helen: I don't want anyone fighting for me.

Hector: Uh, what did you think would happen if you came here?

Helen: I'm no longer Queen of Sparta.

Hector: You're a Princess if Troy now. And my brother needs you tonight.

Helen raises an eyebrow.

Helen: You have one of those double sided mirrors into our room don't you.

Hector scratches the back of his head and looks sheepish.

Helen (folds her arms)I can't believe you. Pervert!

Helen slaps Hector across the face, before storming off.

Hector calls after her 'It was Andromache's idea'.