(A.N)Yeah this is my version of Ocarnia of time. And to spice things up a bit, I added a new character! Whoopie! Yeah this story's all pimpish but it's gonna be awesome. So let's just think of this as one big Anime TV show.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarnia of Time (Retold)

Chapter One

"God damnit, I'm so fucking bored!" Leila was complaining. She was laying in the graveyard staring at the clouds in the clear freaking sky. She also had her husky, Senshi, with her. Leila was ten, part elf, and part wolf (don't ask). She had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Her teeth were pointy and she could growl like a wolf. Oh and she wore a green tunic like the Kokiri's. Senshi was part wolf too (they not related) and had unusual amber eyes. "Okay I've had enough I'm gonna go goddamn explorin'!"

She went to her house…well actually was a Bar but, hey what the hell! It was packed with thugs and gangsters. Hell she knew all of their names! Lets just say Leila has the weirdest friends…

"Yo, daddy-o! Imma go swimmin' in Hylia!"

"That cool with me just be back before dark. Ya don't want them goddamn Stalfos getting' ya."

"Aw man! I love to whoop their Asses!"

He sighed. "Ugh just bring the sword and shield just in case."

"Yay!" At this she took those goddamn suckers and skipped off merrily. Of course Senshi came, he goes everywhere with her! Yeah and she's running and running and running and running and running and running and ru- oh the hell with it! Then that goddamn psycho, Malon stopped her.

"Hey watsup?"

"Get outta my way, psycho creep!" Senshi started growling at Malon.

"Hey guess what!"

"Uhh… what?"

"…" She giggled. "HI!"

"God damn you bitch!" She pushed Malon outta the way and started running again towards the Lake. "Finally that bastard is gone!" She took off her armor then she dived her specialish dive into the water. "Ahh…perfect relaxation…" Then she felt something really hard, like a rock, hit her in the goddamn head. "What the fuck!" She saw an octorok, like, thirty-feet away from her. "God damn you…octopus thingy!" She dived quickly to the bottom, picked up a huge rock, and threw it at this bitch. It hit the Octo-thingy and it made a screech and swam away. "Take that you muthafucker! That'll teach ya to mess with me!"

After a few hours of swimming she noticed how dark it was. "Aw shit, Dad's gonna be pissed." She quickly swam out and grabbed the armor. C'mon Senshi let's go! After a few minutes of running and running and running and running and running, a damn Stalfo came out. "God damnit…" Quickly she took care of this motherfucker and quickly ran the rest of the way home.

When she got to the village she yelled, "HOLY SHIT!" Her village was destroyed, completely from head to toe (not literally). Then she heard a very loud voice in the distance.

"Oh hell no, not you."

"MUAHAHAHAHA! IT IS I, GANONDORF, THE KING OF EVIL AND-"

"Blah, blah, blah I get it already! Now waddya do this fer!"

"Ya know…I never really thought of it…I guess I was bored. WELL I MUST BE GOING. MY SOAP IS GONNA BE ON IN 5 MINUTES. FAREWELL FOOLISH BITCH. MUAHAHAHA!" Then he disappeared.

"Holy fudge I forgot about Dad!" Then she hurried of to her house. "Oh no…Dad! I- hey I found a nickel!" Senshi barked. "Oh yeah…must…focus…but nickel so…shiny!" Senshi growled. "Okay! Okay! Well I gotta bury dad. She took hold of her dad's collar and dragged him to the graveyard. Then, with the sword, she dug a grave for him. She tried to put her dad in gently, but dropped him into the grave instead. "Oops…my bad."

Once her dad was fully buried, she stood up and stared at the night sky. "Well Senshi, we gotta train hard so next time we face that pig, Ganondorf, we can kick his sorry ass." At this Senshi barked his happy little bark. "Hehe…I can see it now…" She imagined her defeating him. "Well we gotta start now if we gonna beat him." At this she took the sword and ran out to train with all her skills. (And trust me she didn't have many skills)