Ri2: If Nabooru never met Link, who's the Spirit Sage.
Me: Erm...who do you want? Well, i never intended it to make sense, I just intended to write a story about a Gerudo.
I glanced round the tiny room. The walls were bare now, the weapons that usually adorned it packed away. All that remained was the futon, which I set about rolling up, and Calico, who was curled in the corner, watching me with an eye. I hoped he'd be able to look after himself in my absence.
I sighed to myself. My life of sloth was ruined. Now I'd been chosen to go on a dangerous expedition into enemy territory. Cold, wet enemy territory where they'd probably expect me to do some work.
There was a knock at the door.
"S'open," I called from the floor.
The door creaked open on its rusty hinges, scrapping across the uneven, stone slabs. I turned my head and my jaw dropped open. Not through any medical condition I've got but because the Queen of the Gerudo had just stepped through my doorway, glowing with her immaculate, regal air.
"Errrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm," I said, completely thrown, as you might expect. "Um, y-your majesty?"
I stumbled awkwardly to my feet then remembering my place dropped back to my knees. This bought me directly in line with a number of items at her waist.
In her right hand was a long, leather-wrapped parcel which, from its packaging and shape, I identified as a longbow. In her left she clutched a long, thin sword- a rapier- in a black sheath.
My wandering gaze become locked onto a bulky wallet on her belt and refused to move. I watched her untie it with a finger. It dropped to the floor in front of me.
Nabooru used her foot to close the door behind her.
"I hear you do hit jobs too."
I shrugged. "It's mainly just a hobby," I admitted. "Who do you want killing?"
"At the moment, no-one. Merely a safety precaution. If the negotiations don't work out, you have my permission to assassinate the royal family. And this super-soldier if you possibly can."
I made a quick calculation based on the bulk of the wallet and the richness and desperation of the client.
"This is it?"
"You get the other half when you return."
I doubled the amount.
"The super-soldier...he may cost a little more."
Nabooru nodded. "Whatever you want."
I hesitated, wondering if she'd got my drift and if I dared push it.
"When I say little I actually mean-"
"-a lot. I gathered."
I pulled the wallet towards me.
"I'll do it."
"Excellent. Oh, by the way, the ambassador is leaving in five minutes, with you or not. You may want to hasten."
I got to my feet, pulling the dark-green, dodongo-skin rucksack, the futon and the wallet with me. The Queen placed the two remaining items on top of the pile in my arms.
"Presents from Weapons Research. The bow has a range of two miles. The rapier is made from a new metal and is unbreakable or at least that's what they tell me. I'm hoping you wont have to use them."
Rapiers weren't exactly my favourite weapon. Infact, I'd barely been trained in them at all. But I bowed politely in acceptance, or at least as best as I could manage beneath the weight.
"And you're not to tell anybody else about this, of course," Nabooru ordered as I started to move for the door. "I only gave you this job because, if I told the General, she'd purposefully make negotiations fail and the other bodyguard is too honour bound not to tell her. Thankfully, you're more easily bought."
I took that as a compliment and left.