Author's Note: A shorty and I don't think it's all that hilarious, but important none-the-less. Please R&R, I'm feeling unappreciated; my story on has been up more than a month and I've only received one reviewand it'sbarelya sentence long:(.
Disclaimer: Don't own Troy.
Scene change to sand dunes, Odysseus and his Ithicans are awaiting battle
'Achilles' is making his way up the dunes along the Greek line. Greeks are cheering.
Odysseus: Achilles
Eudorus: Arm yourselves men.
They, rather excitedly, do.
Lots of battle as the Trojans meet the Greeks and attack.
Glaucus: The gods are with them today, we should fall back.
Glaucus begins to cry and suck his thumb.
Hector ignores this and continues to fight.
Hector sees 'Achilles'.
Hector: (to himself) Achilles.
Battle between them. Hector slits his throat.
Hector dances around in victory, before taking the helmet off.
Hector sees Patroclus faces, realises he's killed the wrong person.
Hector: Oh freaking hell! I didn't do it. (looks sheepish).
Blood sprays from Patroclus' neck and hits Hector in the face. Hector tries to block, but it keeps spraying, covering him in blood.
Hector: (to Glaucus and pointing at his blood soaked clothes) Andromache is not going to be happy.
Glaucus: (sounding gay) Oh I know, there are no good washing powders that get rid of blood stains, I mean hello it's 1195 BC for Apollo's sake.
Hector looks uncomfortable.
Hector: ... Yes Glaucus.
Hector: (to everyone else) Enough for one day. Arms down, back to the city.
Odysseus agrees.
Odysseus: Arms down. Arms down, back to the beach.
Odysseus crouches beside Patroclus and closesPatroclus' eyes.
Eudorus: He's right you know, there are no good washing powders around these days.
Odysseus: I don't think we're going to be worrying about washing powder after today.