DISCLAIMER: I do not own 7th Heaven or anything related to 7th Heaven. All medical information on this story is either half-truth or completely made up. I am not a doctor. Also, if you are a fan of the happy relationships in 7th Heaven, don't read. Thos story contains a "rebel" who doesn't agree with her family and not so nice language and themes are sometimes used. Thank you. Enjoy! PS: this part contains some characters from another story called D4 from PaUlKaRiYaSgUrL9. She (the author) let me use them. Therefore I don't own them or the characters from the Mighty Ducks. Don't worry, they are just minor players, they will have no impact on the story aside from that they are friends.

She let in a deep breath of air. "Oh my Lord," she said as she suddenly remembered her dream. The coffee jar fell from her hands and cludded on the floor, making a noise only loud enough to echo in the closet. Slowly, Lucy walked from the object that made her remember the dream, subconsciously hating it for making her remember. She made her way to the chair once again and sat down, finally letting herself take it in. She dreamt that she had never had Kay, that she had never had any kids after her first two. And worse than that, she distinctly remembered being happy about it. Once the shock had settled, she had thought it for the best and been pleased.

The tears rolled down her cheeks like waterfalls. Lucy put her head down into folded arms on the table. What kind of mother am I to think it better that my own daughter be not born? She thought and the emotion took over and shook her small body for almost an hour.

Chapter 13: Let Me Forget

After the explosive scene at the session, Kevin was in complete and total shock. He knew that Kay had some problems; it was the main reason that they were all going to counseling. But he couldn't have even imagined what he had heard come from her mouth. She could be lying; she had done it in the passed about something this big. Perhaps she had made the mistake of getting pregnant and instead of taking full responsibility for it, she decided to make up a story about what an uncaring and cold person she was. Kevin didn't think that was it, though.

Without actually moving, he shook the thought away from his mind as he turned the vehicle onto a road that he had been driving for years now. For the second time in his life, he decided to concentrate on where he was going (the first time had been when he was looking over the directions that were given to him on the phone by the owner 18 or some odd years ago). Has it been that long? he wondered and immediately focused back on the turn that he was making. He knew if he started reminiscing about the passed, eventually the passed hour or so would replay in his mind.

"Oh, but that's not all, Dad. Those are just the fun things, the normal things. The truth is that I hate you! I hate mom! I hate Savannah and Jake! I hate Grandma Annie and Grandpa Eric! I hate Aunt Mary and Ruthie and Uncle Simon! I hate all my cousins! I hate all my friends! I hate Uncle Matt and Aunt Sarah! I hate Alia! I HATE ME!"

He stopped at the stop sign for two seconds like he was taught to and continued on towards home. He glanced at the mirror. His children looked very uncomfortable but at the moment, he didn't care. He couldn't care. If he did, he knew he would fall apart. The life that he thought that he once had was gone and it was Kay's fault. He hated her a little bit and the thought made him catch his breath. No, he didn't hate her. She was his daughter and that love would never break. He wasn't her, after all.

But, he thought, maybe she got it from me. Maybe it's some kind of dysfunction that I gave her. Or maybe…He couldn't finish the thought. It was too hard to bear. The rest of the drive home, he focused on the road, his driving and his breathing.

He pulled into the driveway five minutes later and shut off the engine. He caught his breath and looked up from the ignition; the kids were waiting at the door, shifting from foot to foot, not wanting to be near each other. Even Savannah and Jake didn't want to be near each other and they basically always got along.

Slowly, he unbuckled his seat belt and opened his door. Once he was on the driveway about to close his door, he saw that Lucy was still in the car, staring at nothing. I wonder what she's thinkinghe thought but he figured that he already did.

"Luce?" he said without much emotion. He knew that he should be nicer but he couldn't muster up the strength. Then he closed the door, opened the front door of the house, and climbed the stairs after the kids. They each headed off to their rooms but he came to a stop at the bathroom door. Without thinking too much, he went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

A half and hour and a shower later, he emerged from the bathroom. During the time that he was in there, his thought consisted of what kind of soap he was using and whether or not it was a good brand. He had decided that it was.

He walked into the bedroom that he shared with Lucy, his lovely wife. God, he loved her, more than almost anything else really, except for his children of course. To his surprise, she wasn't in the room.

He glanced at the clock and decided that it was better to go to sleep than see where she was. She needed time to process the events and deal with them. Besides, he had to leave for work at 5 in the morning; after all, there was a suspected killer on the loose in their small town. Quietly, he changed from his robe to a pair of sweatpants and climbed into bed. For almost an hour, all he did was stare at the ceiling and tap his fingers together. A thousand thoughts crossed his mind but he wouldn't let any of them stay for long. Slowly, though, he did fall into a dreamless sleep.

When he awoke the next morning to the sound of the alarm clock, he was happy. He wasn't tired; he had a great family and a great life. He got out of bed and went to his dresser to get a pair of socks out to go with the suit that was going to wear to work. As he reached to pull the drawer out, he glanced at the family photo. It was he and Lucy in the middle, Savannah to their left, Jake behind and Kay to the right. They were all smiling, all happy. And all a lie, he suddenly thought and the truth flooded back so fast his head spun. He actually had to sit down on the bed to catch his balance.

Kevin ran his hands through his close cut hair and did something he rarely did in all the years of his life. He wept.

Ehh, sorry its so short, Kevin is a hard character to write for. 7th Heaven rarely shows his emotions. Okay, reviews please, I LOVE getting them. The more I get, the more motivated I am to write. Also, if you have any ideas, then feel free to let me know. Next chapter… well, what does big sis think about her psych little sister?