DISCLAIMER: I do not own 7th Heaven or anything related to 7th Heaven. All medical information on this story is either half-truth or completely made up. I am not a doctor. Also, if you are a fan of the happy relationships in 7th Heaven, don't read. Thos story contains a "rebel" who doesn't agree with her family and not so nice language and themes are sometimes used. Thank you. Enjoy! PS: this part contains some characters from another story called D4 from PaUlKaRiYaSgUrL9. She (the author) let me use them. Therefore I don't own them or the characters from the Mighty Ducks. Don't worry, they are just minor players, they will have no impact on the story aside from that they are friends. This chapter starts with a bad swear, so if you are offended by the swear, read over it or forget it. I warned you.

By the time she fell asleep it was 1:30 in the morning. The moon threw its light on her face, which showed a single bead of sweat. In her dream, she was Kay and Kay was her.

She woke from the dream with a start, but she didn't scream. She was too frightened to scream. She regained normal breathing and put her head back on her pillow. But she didn't fall asleep. Instead, she lie there, awake for the remainder of the night, thinking about the last thing that she felt as Kay. Empty.

Chapter 15: What Have I Done?

The entire ride home took the longest for Kay. Although it was about a half an hour in real time, to her it felt like hours more. But even though it was so long, Kay only had one thought on her mind.

"FUCK!"

When the car pulled up to their house, a relief and a new dread washed over Kay. If anyone had opened their doors to let the car light come on at that moment, they would have seen a small smile drift over her lips and disappear as quickly as it came. She waited for her siblings to get out of the car before she followed them, all the way until the front door. There, they stopped and waited for the door to be opened by their father. Kay looked back briefly. She saw her mother in the car, still staring out to nowhere. A pain touched her heart, as she realized what she had done to them. She wasn't lying when she said that she didn't love her family, but she did care, about some more than others. And her mother was her mother, after all. She did care and it hurt a little to see her mother look that way. Lucy looked as if she had lost everything; her child, her family, her hope, her faith. Her eyes looked as empty as Kay felt.

Before it could get to her too much, she turned back to the door and waited. Soon, her father was unlocking the door and her mother was at the steps with them. She went upstairs and directly to her room, making sure not to make contact of any kind with anyone in her family. She didn't know if she could take it after her admission in therapy.

When she flicked on the light, after closing her door, she saw Alia's head pop up. The love in her dog's eyes was all she could take. There, leaning her body on the white door, she silently cried for almost an hour. Honestly she didn't know she had any more tears, but she did and they ran like a river. The entire time of her second breakdown, Alia was at her feet, licking her hands if they were on her side, nudging her waist. Alia's concern made her weep even harder, but she made no sound.

Once the majority of her crying had passed, she slid herself down the door and huddled into a ball in the corner where her wall met the door. Alia curled herself on top of her and fell asleep.

Kay wiped the last remains of her tears with her hand and brought it down to Alia's head. Gently, she stroked the fur at the top of her head, in a steady, calming motion. It wasn't to calm Alia, she was already sleeping; the motion was to calm her. The night's events had left her even more broken than she had already been.

Her mind raced a thousand thoughts a minute. She could feel a small thud on her temple as her fragile mind tried to sort through everything.

"I need help," she admitted to the darkness, knowing that the darkness would never tell. She rested her head back again the cold of the door and drifted to sleep, unknowing of the horrors that still lay ahead. Her pain was only just beginning.

Sorry that it's so short. Basically, the entire story is about her so the chapter didn't need to explain what you already knew, so yeah. Oh, I left a cliffhanger. Lucky you…Teehee. Wonder what Jake thinks? Thanks for reading, love ya!