"The Forward"

Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's MagicMail

(IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE! This is an outtake of sorts written by James Milamber. This author kicks ass. The character this chapter describes is from his 'Harry Potter and the Mind Mage', which you all must go read and review. Review my Arch of Hades as well, now that I'm thinking about it. Oh, like Nike says, Just do it! Enjoy!)

To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)

From:

Fill this out and send it on.

Name: James Milton – for now, anyway.

Age: No comment.

House: Ravenclaw.

Been Kissed: Well, I was married for fifteen years, you know…
Been on stage: Of course not.
Gotten in a car accident?: Been in one? No, but I have caused a few…
Cold or hot: Cold
Blue or Red: Blue, of course – I WAS a Ravenclaw
Rain or snow: I lived in Melbourne for fifteen years. Enough said.
Wool or cotton? Cotton

Chocolate milk or plain milk: Chocolate

Spring or fall?: Fall? Who wrote this? Bloody Americans…
Do you like someone?: Not after my wife, no.
Do They Know: I certainly hope she knew.

Who's the funniest: Me, of course.
Who's the craziest: Dumbledore.
Who do you e-mail the most: Again, Dumbledore.
Who's the loudest: Alex.
Who's the most silent?: Voldemort, after I get my hands on the little (censored).
Who's the shyest?: Probably Harry.
Whose parents do you know the best: Well, I know Molly and Arthur Weasley pretty well.
Been hugged: Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?

Had a serious talk?: How does YES strike you?
Gotten along with your parents: Kinda hard, considering they were both murdered…
Fought with a friend?: Merlin, yes.
Give hugs?: Sometimes.
Give back rubs?: Not to YOU, I won't.
Take walks in the rain?: Andrea was quite fond of them.

Which one of your friends...
Knows you the best: I don't have many friends, and most of them are already dead. The PERSON who knows me the best is Cassie – she's far too much like her mother for her own good.
Have you known the longest: Dumbles – I duelled him when I was twenty three, and he was twenty. Merlin, where DOES the time go?
Have you known the shortest?: Nymph (you cheeky little chit…)
Most likely to end up in jail: Dung. I'm fairly certain it's happened several times already.

Been to a concert: But of course.

Favorite Artist: Evanescence – Amy Lee is amazing, for a Muggle

Favorite Song: The Unforgiven - Metallica

For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Do I look like I was raised by Muggles? Oh alright, The Matrix.

Loved someone so much it made you cry: Do you actually expect me to answer that?
Cheated on a test: Erm…
Done something illegal: Is murder still illegal these days?
Ever stalked someone: I worked for Voldemort. YES!
Are You Single: Yes.
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: Married, remember?
Have you ever pranked someone before?: Of course. It took weeks for Potter Senior to get rid of those antlers…
Do you swear too much: Me? Never!
Where are you at?: Grimmauld Place – and if that painting doesn't shut up, I'm going to break out a can of paint thinner.
Are you sitting by anyone?: Of course not.
What color pants are you wearing?: Black – part of my "Imitate-Snape-to-annoy-the-hell-out-of-him" ensemble.
What song are you listening to right now?: Excalibur – Knights Templar Remix
What is the last thing that you said?: You probably don't want to know.
What's on your mousepad: A picture of my darling children. (snort)
What was the last thing you ate?: Good question, actually…does bourbon count as food?
If you were a crayon: Blue.

Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Andrea.

Favorite Color: Haven't we been through this already? Blue!
How's the weather right now?: Clear night, full moon.
What's under your bed: Nothing, I only arrived here a few minutes ago.
Do you keep your room clean?: Not really. Vanishing spells come in so handy…

What do you feel like doing right now: Well, killing the Dark Tosser is right at the top of the list…

Who is most likely to fill this out: I have no clue – probably someone who hasn't done it yet.

Who is least likely to fill this out: Remus – as Tonks said, he's not up to filling anything out at the moment…

What do you want to do before you get back to school: Umm…no comment.