(Seventeen)

Henry looked up from his book again as once more, Kimble laughed in his sleep. He cocked his head and grinned, then frowned as Kimble's face suddenly changed. Kimble twitched violently and gasped loudly, bringing his hands to his neck, choking. His heels hit the vanity cabinets as he jerked convulsively again. His noise woke Seth. Seth sat up in his chair and rubbed his eyes. He saw Henry was watching Kimble intently. "What's he doing?"

Henry startled a little at Seth's voice. "He's dreaming."

Seth made a face. "When Fallen dreams, she wakes up screaming."

"Doesn't look like Kimble is faring any better."

Kimble jerked awake violently, slamming his head against the vanity. A bloody towel left over from Fallen's nosebleed fell from the counter top over his face. All he saw was the blood and he screamed. He whipped the towel away and slid away from it like it would attack him. He looked around him in terror, certain that the monster who had attacked him must still be near. He saw Henry and was disoriented because of the realism of his dream. In his dream, Henry had been gone. Now he was here. Kimble backed away, panting and whining in his confusion.

"Easy, now," Henry soothed. "Everything's fine."

"Evrathin' ain't fine!" Kimble blurted out before he could stop himself. He looked like he would bawl at any moment. "Fuck!"

Wolverine poked his head in the doorway with Gambit standing behind him at the ready. Logan saw Kimble trembling on his hands and knees and grumbled, "What's his problem?"

"He had a bad dream," Henry explained.

Logan started a bit at that, his eyes widening just slightly. Logan was no scientist, but like Henry, he knew only sentient things dreamed. Programs did not last time he checked. Wolverine wasn't the least bit comfortable with this sign that Kimble was more than he wanted him to be.

"Ughh...Fergot what it wuz like..." Kimble said, finally calming down. He sat back on his haunches and wiped his face with his hands, smoothing away those tears that had threatened. He remembered now the time when he was first made and the first time he'd ever dreamed, how frightened he'd been. With that memory came the recollection of the warm Siskan hands that had soothed him and the strong protective arms that had held him afterwards. He felt an aching sense of loss. He would never feel those hands and arms ever again. They were gone forever. This was not a restored memory. It was one he'd hid away for himself and he'd vowed never to forget. He wished now Fallen would wake up and comfort him like that other one had, but he didn't want the others to see him as weak, especially Wolverine who was looking down on him with such unfriendly eyes.

"You've dreamed before?" Henry asked.

"Yeah. B'fore I got broken," Kimble said, rising unsteadily.

He walked on rubbery legs back to the vanity and grabbed Fallen's cup with the Rishna in it. He dumped it out in the sink and filled it with water. He drank greedily, almost choking as the water dribbled down his chin. It seemed like Kimble always drank at a breakneck pace, certain to drown himself.

He kept his eyes down, not looking in the mirror. He didn't want to see himself. He wasn't sure whose face was going to be looking back at him. He saw Fallen's jar of cigarettes and impulsively took one. He snapped his fingers to light it with a Ristle spark, but his hands were shaking so badly, it took a couple of tries to get it lit. He took a long drag and gently scratched his head. His own touch was soothing, reminding him of those warm Siskan hands, and he felt better.

"Been a long time since I been dreamin'," he mused, a look of wonder on his face. It had been a nightmare, nothing more. He snickered and felt a little stupid for being so frightened.

"You remember your life from before?" Henry asked.

"Small bits an' pieces, yeah."

"What was it like?"

Kimble walked back to the wall and sat down, getting comfortable. "Don' remember too much. 'Member havin' fun. Playin', dancin', makin' love. Lotsa pretty girls. Some guys, too. Hmm, they wuz a lotta fun..." he said absently, his eyes distant.

Kimble didn't notice the sharp look Logan sent to Remy at his words. It had never occurred to Logan that Kimble, being a pleasure program, might be receptive to more than one gender. His earlier flirtatious manner had been dismissed as merely fooling around. Now Logan wasn't so sure and he shifted nervously. He wasn't really homophobic, but the idea of two men fucking each other just didn't sit well with him.

Remy shrugged at Logan's response. He was a sociable creature and had many bi-sexual and gay friends even though he wasn't either of those himself. He could care less what Kimble's sexual preferences were.

Kimble was still smiling wistfully, remembering fondly the first part of his dream. It had been so intensely real. "I miss usin' the pleasure files. Be lyin' if I said I didn'. Fallen don' wants me like that, but maybe I kin finds someone who does where we're goin'. That'd be cool."

"Ah, the eternal search for true love, how it occupies us all," Henry mused.

Kimble snorted with an ironic grin. "Sorry, doc. Seth's got all the true love an' devotion files outta the two of us. What little I had 're long gone. Me? I jus' wants ta have fun. Have some laughs. Show somebody a good time. Heh, a real good time."

"You seem confident of your prowess," Henry couldn't help but tease. The sexual nature of the conversation aside, Beast was quite pleased with the opportunity to know Kimble a little better.

"Hey, what kin I say. Them Siskans made me good. I ain't never had no complaints," Kimble boasted, his eyes merry.

"You say you don't love, but you seem to care for Fallen."

"That's different. She's m' Mistress, m' keeper. I ain't in loves with 'er the way you mean. Not like the kid, there," he said jabbing a thumb up at Seth who laughed at him. "I wouldn't refuse 'er..." Kimble just had to add as a dig to his twin. "...but I ain't in love with her, no. We have fun tagether. I looks after her good cuz someone's gotta do it. She don't makes it easy, the little bitch," he complained affectionately, looking at her where she slept. "Nope, she shure don't."

"Do ya remember how ya got broken?" Logan asked, changing the subject.

"Nope," Kimble answered just a little too quickly.

Logan didn't believe him. No, not at all.

"What about those hologram memory files that are unlocked now?" Seth offered. "Maybe there's something in those."

"I gots the feelin' they wuz locked up fer a reason. Don' think I wants ta go pokin' around in there just yet," Kimble said, just as Logan had expected.

Fallen stirred and woke, hearing all the voices around her. Kimble grinned as she turned her head to smile at him. He felt a surge of love for her, his Mistress, and a stab of guilt for his lack of resistance in his dream. At least it had all been a fantasy. He hoped he wouldn't be put to the test for real, he had never been known for his good impulse control. "Hey, kid."

"Hey."

"Feel any better?"

"A little. I'm hungry."

"Don' hafta asks me twice," Kimble said and rose stiffly. He stretched and walked out past the small crowd in the doorway, going to the galley to get her some food.

Remy followed him in case he needed a hand. As they passed the barracks door, Valentin hissed at Kimble, "Was that you I heard squealing like a little girl? What are you dreaming, Zander?"

Kimble paused, clenching his hands. He started to say something but thought better of it. He continued on into the galley and started taking out different food items from the cupboards. His face was dark and cloudy, all of his earlier fun gone, and he said nothing to Remy even though he'd seen the other man follow him.

"You need 'elp wit anyt'ing?" Remy asked from the doorway. He positioned himself so he blocked Valentin's view of Kimble.

"I'm fine," Kimble growled a little more harshly than he intended.

Gambit watched the Kimble hologram closely, keeping quiet for the moment. It still intrigued him that technically Kimble wasn't even real. It was impossible to tell that just by looking at him. Kimble moved, acted, and sounded like any other real person. If Kimble was now truly real, he wondered just how well Kimble was going to fare in the real world back home. He would need looking after, at least in the beginning. Remy was concerned about this trip and how Kimble seemed to get angry so quickly. Gambit liked Kimble and wanted only to keep him out of trouble. Maybe he could help Kimble out.

"You okay bein' out?" Remy finally spoke.

Kimble looked at him, a little surprised with the question. "Shure. This is how I always been. I ain't 'spozed ta be flyin' ships from inside'a no computer."

"Seem a little tense. P'etetre, you takin' on too much. You gotta learn to relax."

Kimble laughed and said wryly, "Relax? Right. I ain't got what I needs ta do that here."

"Oh? If you could do anyt'ing you wanted to right now, what would you do?" Remy asked, his favorite question when it came to setting a person at ease. He sat down on the bench of the galley table, getting comfortable. He'd seen that Valentin had disappeared back inside his room and felt it was safe enough to sit.

Kimble worked as he considered his answer. He opened a package of rice and vegetables and put them into the warming oven. The device looked a bit differently, but operated similar to a microwave oven, heating up the meal quickly. Kimble opened up a bottle of whiskey and thoughtfully poured a shot for both himself and Remy.

"What would I do? 'Spoze I'd really like ta go dancin' some place. I jus' love dancin', love the music. Clan ain't gots no real music. I'd go dancin', work the crowd a little." He laughed and handed Remy his glass of whiskey. His eyes were glowing just thinking about it. "I'd find me sumpthin' young an pretty. Find us a nice quiet corner...Hmm..." He laughed again. "Best ta stop talkin' like this, gonna git m'self all wound up fer nuthin'." He poured himself another shot and tossed it back.

Remy was all over Kimble's suggestion, using it to work the pilot around to his point of view. If he could get Kimble to stay calm and focus on a goal, maybe he might ease up a bit and keep his temper. It worked for the kids back home and he had to reason to doubt it would work for Kimble as well. "We got lots of places to go dancin' back 'ome. Gambit knows a couple of places he could take you. It'd be good for a laugh. 'Nessa would 'ave lots of fun wit you."

Kimble cocked his head at him, immediately interested. "You'd go out with me?"

"I wouldn't 'go out' wit you, non," Gambit said with a grin, amused by Kimble's misinterpretation. "But I would bring you to a couple of places, oui. Lots of girls. Gambit knows all de best places."

"Who's 'Nessa?"

"Vanessa. She a girl. She crazy. You'd like 'er."

Kimble grinned broadly. "Sounds like fun. What's she like?"

"She a lot a fun. She like to dance, like to play. She remind me a lot of you. We ever get outta dis place, Gambit take you to see 'Nessa. She kinda fast. P'etetre, you de only one who can keep up wit 'er. P'etetre, de two of you like each other so much, you settle down. Dat would be worth seein'."

Kimble found a tray and began to set up Fallen's meal. "Logan gonna let me go out?" he asked quietly. "Sounds like he's gonna lock Vally away. Maybe he's gonna put me in a box, too."

Remy was quick to reply, not wanting to lose the ground he'd gained. "Nobody gonna lock you up 'less you do sumptin' stupid, mon ami. You gotta keep yo' temper down. You do dat, Gambit gonna take care of you, je promets. But Gambit can't 'elp you if you be fightin' all de time, d'accorde?"

Kimble nodded, working it out in his mind. "If I'm good, yer gonna take me out? Take me ta see this 'Nessa lady?"

"Oui. Gambit do dis for you, but you gotta take it easy, homme."

Kimble grinned. "I kin do that. Gonna try real hard. Gots sumpthin' ta looks forward to now." His mood now improved, Kimble finished up quickly and they headed out back to the cage.