Title: John Doe
Chapter: Five
Summary: Old habits, new habits, and mental songs.
Spoilers: Beneath the Surface and Heroes Part II
Sam was at home reading when her telephone rang. She sighed to herself and glanced at the clock above the television, it was only half past eight. She figured that only two people would be calling her at home, at any time, Daniel or Pete. She wasn't sure why, but she was hoping that it wasn't the latter, as horrible as that sounded.
She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she almost missed the call completely. She picked up the phone just as her answering machine had made it to the 'beep'. "This is Sam."
"Sam, honey. Where have you been? I thought that you got back from your mission two days ago."
She sighed inwardly, it was Pete. "Hi, Pete. I'm sorry, a lot's been going on."
"Oh? Like what?"
She knew his interest was genuine, but she really wished he could care less. "The General kind of...lost his memories."
"He has amnesia?"
"That's about right."
"Oh, that's horrible." She felt light-headed. Where she could tell he was actually being truthful when he asked what had happened, she could tell that he didn't care whether or not the General could remember anything.
"Yeah. We've been working to bring his memories. I guess I just forgot to call."
"That's ok, babe. I'll be in town tomorrow. Do you want to go out for dinner or something."
"Pete...I can't. I just got home half an hour ago...I'll be with the General."
"Oh," he sounded disappointed.
"I'm sorry."
"That's all right. I understand."
She knew that was a lie, "I'll talk with you later, ok?"
"Yeah. Bye, hon."
She said her goodbye and hung up the phone. She sighed to herself again and picked up her book and began to read again.
He couldn't fall asleep. Nothing would help...not warm milk, not medicine, he even tried counting sheep, didn't make it past 4 but he still tried. All sorts of thoughts kept popping into his head, about his life, professional and personal. After nearly three hours of lying in bed and hoping sleep would sneak up on him he gave up, crawled out from under the warm covers, padded into the kitchen, grabbed a beer, and went outside. He wasn't too sure where he was going and what he would do when he got there, but something told him to walk around to the side of the house. He was surprised when he saw the ladder, but climbed up it all the same.
There was a telescope up there. Interesting, he didn't figure himself the kind of guy who stargazed. But then again, with his job, he understood why he would. Perhaps he had even picked up the habit when he was little. Maybe in time he would figure it out.
Sitting on one of the lawn chairs he sipped his beer and stared up at the night sky. How many planets had he gone to? How many other worlds had he stepped foot on? How many different races had he come in contact with? These were the questions that filled his mind, which kept him from sleeping. He knew, it was there somewhere, but where? Why couldn't he remember? Would he ever remember again?
After he had finished with the beer he sat in front of the telescope, pointing it in many different directions. He had looked through this device before, probably hundreds of times, but he couldn't remember doing so. He watched as a shooting star streaked the sky. He wasn't sure how long he was out there, but after awhile he heard a familiar thud, somebody was coming up the ladder.
He turned in his chair just in time to see blonde hair peaking over the edge of the house. Seconds later, a forehead, then bright blue eyes and the beginnings of a nose. He already knew whom the face belonged to...and by the time her mouth and chin was visible it was confirmed. One Colonel Samantha Carter was making her way up to the roof of his home.
"Colonel...is there a reason you're climbing to the roof of my house at...oh, 4 in the morning?"
She shrugged, "couldn't sleep."
"So you came here? Is this something we did frequently?"
He could see her cheeks flush in the darkness, "ah, no. I just figured why waste time we could use getting your memories back?"
"And how do you propose we do that?" He asked, both his eyebrows raising slowly up his forehead.
He saw a smile grow, "not in any way you're think, sir."
He smiled, "damn."
She sat down in the other chair, and reached out for him. No, she had a beer in her hand, handing it to him. There was another in the other, for her. She twisted the cap open and took a sip. "I hope you don't mind, I used my spare key."
"How many people have a key to my house?"
"Uh, me, Daniel, and Teal'c. That's all I know of...who knows how many lucky women have a spare key to your home."
"So that's why that redhead was in my house when I got home..."
Her smile grew and she took another sip of her beer. "Have you remembered anything else?"
He shook his head, "I've been trying, but nothing has come. Maybe I'm trying too hard, maybe I should do what you said, let it come to me. I don't know, it's all so frustrating." He sighed, "how come you couldn't sleep?"
"I just thought that I should be helping you. I felt like, by sleeping, I was slacking off. We've gone through this before...we've had to remember things. But, this is different, that time it was all of us, this time it's just you."
"You mean, I've lost my memory before?"
She nodded.
"Damn...you'd think I'd remember something like that."
A smile once again appeared on her face. He decided that he liked to make her smile. He would do it more often.
"So, sir..."
"You know, I'm not too sure how I used to feel about this before, but, do you always have to call me 'sir' or 'General'? I mean, the Air Force can't really tell you what to call me outside of work can they?"
She shook her head.
"Ok then. So, from now on, and this is an order, ok Colonel? From now on when we're not at work, off world, or doing anything that involves work you call me Jack...or you can even call me Jonathan, which ever floats your boat. Got it?"
"All right si...Jack."
"Good."
Neither of them spoke for the next couple of minutes. They each turned their gazes upward, at the sky littered with millions of bright, twinkling stars. Each with a different outlook, one wondering about his life, the other contemplating hers. Jack looked over at Sam, who was still looking towards the heavens. He directed his gaze back upwards, as well, and took another sip of his beer, emptying it. He set the bottle down on the roof and the glass clanged when it made contact. Sam turned away from the sky and looked towards him. Their eyes locked, and then both turned away, each with their cheeks flushing.
As he tried to avoid eye contact with his 2IC he tried to remember things...he wasn't sure what it was he wanted to remember, anything he guessed. He peeked over in her direction to see her head turn quickly. He looked back at whatever it was he had been looking at before and then looked back at her. Her head turned and then so did his. What an interesting song and dance, he wondered if they had always been like that. They had, a voice in the back of his mind called out to him, they had always been like that. He knew that voice...he couldn't place it, but he knew it. It was female, but not Sam's. He ruled that out. Maybe, he mused; it belonged to the woman in the picture he had found earlier.
He looked over at her and broke the comfortable silence they had held. "That woman in the picture, who was she?"
Something in her eyes changed. They held an emotion in them he had yet to see from her, at least as far as he could remember. Instead of the bright, crystal blue that they normally were they were dark and filled with pain. Who had the woman been, he wondered, what had happened to her?
Sam looked down at her hands, "are you sure you want to know?"
"I'm sure. I mean, she meant something to me, right? I want to remember her, she must have been important in my life, I can feel it. I understand that whatever it is, its bad. But, these are my memories, I want to remember them. No matter how depressing they may be, they're mine."
She nodded, still looking down at her hands. When she spoke he could hear her voice falter, though she did a good job at hiding it. "Her name was Janet."
"Janet?"
She looked up, nodding, "Janet."
He looked away from her, she did the same. Only, she looked back down at her hands, and he looked back up at the dark sky. How many of those places had he gone to? How many were waiting for him to arrive? He collected all of those thoughts and pushed them to the back of his mind. Janet. His mind played over and over again, like a song. Janet, Janet, Janet. Who was she? How important had she been in his life? How long had he known her? When did they met? What happened to her? How horrible had her fate been? Janet, Janet, Janet. Remember, Jack, his mind screamed at him. Remember.
"What was her last name?" He asked, still staring heavenward.
"Fraiser."
The song changed, now instead of Janet, Janet Fraiser played over and over again in his mind. Like a broken record, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser. Who was she? What had happened to her? Who was she? Who was she? Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser. What had happened to her? What had happened to her? What had been Janet Fraiser's fate?
She died. The voice sang in his head.
He looked over at Sam, "she's dead?"
She looked up at him, the pain still dancing in her eyes. She nodded slowly.
He shut his eyes tightly, allowing the song to continue to play in his mind. Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser. Important. She had been important. Doctor Janet Fraiser. The song suddenly changed. Doctor Janet Fraiser, Doctor Janet Fraiser. Doc Fraiser.
"She was a Doctor? Doc Fraiser?"
"Yeah."
Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser. Think Jack, the voice said, think. Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser. She meant so much to you, that voice screamed at him, remember her! Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser. Janet Fraiser, Doctor Janet Fraiser. Doc Fraiser. Remember. Doc Fraiser.
"I can't..." he sighed with frustration, "that's all I remember. I can't, there's nothing else."
"It's ok, Jack." Her voice said, still thick with emotion. "That's all right. Don't push yourself. You'll remember. You have to...she was too important to you. You'll remember her. Don't strain yourself, It'll come. You'll see." He looked over at her to see tears collecting in her eyes, all though something told him she wouldn't allow them to fall. She blinked slowly, holding them back. "You'll see...it'll come back. Trust me, Jack...you'll remember her."
He got up from his chair and walked over to hers, kneeling down in front of her. "Hey," she looked up at him, her blue eyes clouded with tears that wouldn't fall. "Are you ok?"
He could see her hands shaking in her lap, "I just...I wish you remembered her. She was so special...it's not right that you can't remember her." Her voice shook, matching her twitching hands, "I wish you could remember."
He stood up, taking her hands into his, and pulling her up with him. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. She stiffened in his embrace at first; somehow he knew she would. But, eventually the stiffness melted away, and she wrapped her own arms around his waist. She leaned her cheek on his chest and he rested his chin on the top of her head. They stood there for what seemed like hours, neither moving. She moved and looked up at him, her eyes still holding back her tears. Finally, a lone tear escaped, racing down her cheek. He wiped it away and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "How you doing?"
She smiled sadly, "fine." Then, suddenly she buried her face in his chest and let out a frustrated grunt, taking him off guard.
He chuckled and she looked back up at him, a smile dancing in her eyes. "Feel better now?"
She nodded and rested her forehead on his chest, sighing. After a minute she pulled back and out of the embrace, sitting back down on the chair she occupied only minutes before. She looked at her watch and then sighed once more, "it's after 5."
"And?"
"I've got to get ready for work...I should go."
"Right...work."
"Yeah. Work...just because you don't remember much doesn't mean that gets you a get out of work free card, sorry."
He pursed his lips together, "bummer."
She flashed another magnetic smile at him. "I'll see you later, sir."
"Back to sir, huh?"
The smile died down a little, "yeah." Without another word she made her way down the ladder and he watched as she ran across the front lawn and got into her car. As she drove away he realized that the song that was playing over and over in his mind now had two names...two people he wanted to remember even more than he already did. Now, instead of just Doc Fraiser, the song consisted of a different type of Doctor. Doc Fraiser, Samantha Carter, his mind sang, Doc Fraiser, Samantha Carter.
A/N: Ok, so I was told by somebody not to reduce Sam to a blubbering fool, and I hope I didn't disappoint that reader. I know I had her cry, but she didn't actually bawl or anything. It was really just that one tear, and I thought it fit. Anyway, I did make this chapter longer, almost 1,000 words longer I think. So, that was another request I had. And, the shippyness has started, even though Pete is still in the picture. I promise, he won't be for long! Ok? Anyway, let me know what'cha think.
Chapter: Five
Summary: Old habits, new habits, and mental songs.
Spoilers: Beneath the Surface and Heroes Part II
Sam was at home reading when her telephone rang. She sighed to herself and glanced at the clock above the television, it was only half past eight. She figured that only two people would be calling her at home, at any time, Daniel or Pete. She wasn't sure why, but she was hoping that it wasn't the latter, as horrible as that sounded.
She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she almost missed the call completely. She picked up the phone just as her answering machine had made it to the 'beep'. "This is Sam."
"Sam, honey. Where have you been? I thought that you got back from your mission two days ago."
She sighed inwardly, it was Pete. "Hi, Pete. I'm sorry, a lot's been going on."
"Oh? Like what?"
She knew his interest was genuine, but she really wished he could care less. "The General kind of...lost his memories."
"He has amnesia?"
"That's about right."
"Oh, that's horrible." She felt light-headed. Where she could tell he was actually being truthful when he asked what had happened, she could tell that he didn't care whether or not the General could remember anything.
"Yeah. We've been working to bring his memories. I guess I just forgot to call."
"That's ok, babe. I'll be in town tomorrow. Do you want to go out for dinner or something."
"Pete...I can't. I just got home half an hour ago...I'll be with the General."
"Oh," he sounded disappointed.
"I'm sorry."
"That's all right. I understand."
She knew that was a lie, "I'll talk with you later, ok?"
"Yeah. Bye, hon."
She said her goodbye and hung up the phone. She sighed to herself again and picked up her book and began to read again.
He couldn't fall asleep. Nothing would help...not warm milk, not medicine, he even tried counting sheep, didn't make it past 4 but he still tried. All sorts of thoughts kept popping into his head, about his life, professional and personal. After nearly three hours of lying in bed and hoping sleep would sneak up on him he gave up, crawled out from under the warm covers, padded into the kitchen, grabbed a beer, and went outside. He wasn't too sure where he was going and what he would do when he got there, but something told him to walk around to the side of the house. He was surprised when he saw the ladder, but climbed up it all the same.
There was a telescope up there. Interesting, he didn't figure himself the kind of guy who stargazed. But then again, with his job, he understood why he would. Perhaps he had even picked up the habit when he was little. Maybe in time he would figure it out.
Sitting on one of the lawn chairs he sipped his beer and stared up at the night sky. How many planets had he gone to? How many other worlds had he stepped foot on? How many different races had he come in contact with? These were the questions that filled his mind, which kept him from sleeping. He knew, it was there somewhere, but where? Why couldn't he remember? Would he ever remember again?
After he had finished with the beer he sat in front of the telescope, pointing it in many different directions. He had looked through this device before, probably hundreds of times, but he couldn't remember doing so. He watched as a shooting star streaked the sky. He wasn't sure how long he was out there, but after awhile he heard a familiar thud, somebody was coming up the ladder.
He turned in his chair just in time to see blonde hair peaking over the edge of the house. Seconds later, a forehead, then bright blue eyes and the beginnings of a nose. He already knew whom the face belonged to...and by the time her mouth and chin was visible it was confirmed. One Colonel Samantha Carter was making her way up to the roof of his home.
"Colonel...is there a reason you're climbing to the roof of my house at...oh, 4 in the morning?"
She shrugged, "couldn't sleep."
"So you came here? Is this something we did frequently?"
He could see her cheeks flush in the darkness, "ah, no. I just figured why waste time we could use getting your memories back?"
"And how do you propose we do that?" He asked, both his eyebrows raising slowly up his forehead.
He saw a smile grow, "not in any way you're think, sir."
He smiled, "damn."
She sat down in the other chair, and reached out for him. No, she had a beer in her hand, handing it to him. There was another in the other, for her. She twisted the cap open and took a sip. "I hope you don't mind, I used my spare key."
"How many people have a key to my house?"
"Uh, me, Daniel, and Teal'c. That's all I know of...who knows how many lucky women have a spare key to your home."
"So that's why that redhead was in my house when I got home..."
Her smile grew and she took another sip of her beer. "Have you remembered anything else?"
He shook his head, "I've been trying, but nothing has come. Maybe I'm trying too hard, maybe I should do what you said, let it come to me. I don't know, it's all so frustrating." He sighed, "how come you couldn't sleep?"
"I just thought that I should be helping you. I felt like, by sleeping, I was slacking off. We've gone through this before...we've had to remember things. But, this is different, that time it was all of us, this time it's just you."
"You mean, I've lost my memory before?"
She nodded.
"Damn...you'd think I'd remember something like that."
A smile once again appeared on her face. He decided that he liked to make her smile. He would do it more often.
"So, sir..."
"You know, I'm not too sure how I used to feel about this before, but, do you always have to call me 'sir' or 'General'? I mean, the Air Force can't really tell you what to call me outside of work can they?"
She shook her head.
"Ok then. So, from now on, and this is an order, ok Colonel? From now on when we're not at work, off world, or doing anything that involves work you call me Jack...or you can even call me Jonathan, which ever floats your boat. Got it?"
"All right si...Jack."
"Good."
Neither of them spoke for the next couple of minutes. They each turned their gazes upward, at the sky littered with millions of bright, twinkling stars. Each with a different outlook, one wondering about his life, the other contemplating hers. Jack looked over at Sam, who was still looking towards the heavens. He directed his gaze back upwards, as well, and took another sip of his beer, emptying it. He set the bottle down on the roof and the glass clanged when it made contact. Sam turned away from the sky and looked towards him. Their eyes locked, and then both turned away, each with their cheeks flushing.
As he tried to avoid eye contact with his 2IC he tried to remember things...he wasn't sure what it was he wanted to remember, anything he guessed. He peeked over in her direction to see her head turn quickly. He looked back at whatever it was he had been looking at before and then looked back at her. Her head turned and then so did his. What an interesting song and dance, he wondered if they had always been like that. They had, a voice in the back of his mind called out to him, they had always been like that. He knew that voice...he couldn't place it, but he knew it. It was female, but not Sam's. He ruled that out. Maybe, he mused; it belonged to the woman in the picture he had found earlier.
He looked over at her and broke the comfortable silence they had held. "That woman in the picture, who was she?"
Something in her eyes changed. They held an emotion in them he had yet to see from her, at least as far as he could remember. Instead of the bright, crystal blue that they normally were they were dark and filled with pain. Who had the woman been, he wondered, what had happened to her?
Sam looked down at her hands, "are you sure you want to know?"
"I'm sure. I mean, she meant something to me, right? I want to remember her, she must have been important in my life, I can feel it. I understand that whatever it is, its bad. But, these are my memories, I want to remember them. No matter how depressing they may be, they're mine."
She nodded, still looking down at her hands. When she spoke he could hear her voice falter, though she did a good job at hiding it. "Her name was Janet."
"Janet?"
She looked up, nodding, "Janet."
He looked away from her, she did the same. Only, she looked back down at her hands, and he looked back up at the dark sky. How many of those places had he gone to? How many were waiting for him to arrive? He collected all of those thoughts and pushed them to the back of his mind. Janet. His mind played over and over again, like a song. Janet, Janet, Janet. Who was she? How important had she been in his life? How long had he known her? When did they met? What happened to her? How horrible had her fate been? Janet, Janet, Janet. Remember, Jack, his mind screamed at him. Remember.
"What was her last name?" He asked, still staring heavenward.
"Fraiser."
The song changed, now instead of Janet, Janet Fraiser played over and over again in his mind. Like a broken record, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser. Who was she? What had happened to her? Who was she? Who was she? Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser. What had happened to her? What had happened to her? What had been Janet Fraiser's fate?
She died. The voice sang in his head.
He looked over at Sam, "she's dead?"
She looked up at him, the pain still dancing in her eyes. She nodded slowly.
He shut his eyes tightly, allowing the song to continue to play in his mind. Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser, Janet Fraiser. Important. She had been important. Doctor Janet Fraiser. The song suddenly changed. Doctor Janet Fraiser, Doctor Janet Fraiser. Doc Fraiser.
"She was a Doctor? Doc Fraiser?"
"Yeah."
Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser. Think Jack, the voice said, think. Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser. She meant so much to you, that voice screamed at him, remember her! Doc Fraiser, Doc Fraiser. Janet Fraiser, Doctor Janet Fraiser. Doc Fraiser. Remember. Doc Fraiser.
"I can't..." he sighed with frustration, "that's all I remember. I can't, there's nothing else."
"It's ok, Jack." Her voice said, still thick with emotion. "That's all right. Don't push yourself. You'll remember. You have to...she was too important to you. You'll remember her. Don't strain yourself, It'll come. You'll see." He looked over at her to see tears collecting in her eyes, all though something told him she wouldn't allow them to fall. She blinked slowly, holding them back. "You'll see...it'll come back. Trust me, Jack...you'll remember her."
He got up from his chair and walked over to hers, kneeling down in front of her. "Hey," she looked up at him, her blue eyes clouded with tears that wouldn't fall. "Are you ok?"
He could see her hands shaking in her lap, "I just...I wish you remembered her. She was so special...it's not right that you can't remember her." Her voice shook, matching her twitching hands, "I wish you could remember."
He stood up, taking her hands into his, and pulling her up with him. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. She stiffened in his embrace at first; somehow he knew she would. But, eventually the stiffness melted away, and she wrapped her own arms around his waist. She leaned her cheek on his chest and he rested his chin on the top of her head. They stood there for what seemed like hours, neither moving. She moved and looked up at him, her eyes still holding back her tears. Finally, a lone tear escaped, racing down her cheek. He wiped it away and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "How you doing?"
She smiled sadly, "fine." Then, suddenly she buried her face in his chest and let out a frustrated grunt, taking him off guard.
He chuckled and she looked back up at him, a smile dancing in her eyes. "Feel better now?"
She nodded and rested her forehead on his chest, sighing. After a minute she pulled back and out of the embrace, sitting back down on the chair she occupied only minutes before. She looked at her watch and then sighed once more, "it's after 5."
"And?"
"I've got to get ready for work...I should go."
"Right...work."
"Yeah. Work...just because you don't remember much doesn't mean that gets you a get out of work free card, sorry."
He pursed his lips together, "bummer."
She flashed another magnetic smile at him. "I'll see you later, sir."
"Back to sir, huh?"
The smile died down a little, "yeah." Without another word she made her way down the ladder and he watched as she ran across the front lawn and got into her car. As she drove away he realized that the song that was playing over and over in his mind now had two names...two people he wanted to remember even more than he already did. Now, instead of just Doc Fraiser, the song consisted of a different type of Doctor. Doc Fraiser, Samantha Carter, his mind sang, Doc Fraiser, Samantha Carter.
A/N: Ok, so I was told by somebody not to reduce Sam to a blubbering fool, and I hope I didn't disappoint that reader. I know I had her cry, but she didn't actually bawl or anything. It was really just that one tear, and I thought it fit. Anyway, I did make this chapter longer, almost 1,000 words longer I think. So, that was another request I had. And, the shippyness has started, even though Pete is still in the picture. I promise, he won't be for long! Ok? Anyway, let me know what'cha think.