LUCAS' P.O.V.
I slowly began to wake up from a ray of sunlight in my eye, upset that I was brought out of sleep. After everything that happened yesterday, sleep was the only place I could get away from my thoughts.
Brooke left yesterday. I told her how I felt, and she left.
My eyes drifted to the door that she walked out of, and I sighed as I threw the covers off me. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I put my head in my hands as I thought of the last smile Brooke gave me. She's gone now, and I wonder if telling her how I feel about her was the best thing for me to do. Was it fair to either of us? With the way I feel now, I think that I should have just kept my mouth shut.
I looked up at the clock, and realized that it was only 8:30. I had only slept for three and a half hours last night. No wonder I still feel exhausted.
Peyton and I had stayed on the beach until five in the morning, just sitting there watching the waves crash onto the shore. We didn't talk much after we had filled each other in on everything that had been going on, but that was ok. I think that we were both just content knowing that there was someone else there as everyone spread out to do their own thing this summer.
Tired of sitting on my bed doing nothing but sulking, I got up and got ready for the day.
Once I had showered and dressed, I sat at the kitchen table to eat the bowl of cereal that I had poured myself. I look down at the so-called breakfast, and sighed as I thought of all the homemade breakfasts Mom made.
Abandoning my cereal, I stood up and walked outside, trying to decide what to do for the day. Deciding to see Peyton first, I started walking in the direction of her house.
Peyton didn't seem to be doing that good last night when we left the beach. She was withdrawn and depressed, and as much as she tried to act like she was ok, I know she wasn't. She hardly said two words to me all night, and she seemed like she wanted to leave the whole time we were there. I think the fact that she didn't want to be alone kept her there with me.
A little while later, I reached Peyton's house. I stood there looking up at it for a while, deciding what to say to Peyton when I saw her. Taking a deep breath, I walked up the door and knocked.
I waited for an answer that never came, and I furrowed my brow as I wondered where she might be so early in the morning. Looking around the house, I noticed that her car was still in the driveway. Turning back to the door, I knocked once more.
"Peyton? You home?" I called out
When I still received no answer, I tried the door to find it unlocked. Slowly walking into the house, I wondered why Peyton didn't answer the door. Then I realized that she was probably either still sleeping, or that her music was too loud for her to hear the door.
When I reached Peyton's room, I found the door closed. This surprised me, because Peyton never closes her door. She's not the most modest person ever, so I don't know why she now decided to have some privacy.
I knocked on the door, and waited a couple minutes for Peyton to answer. When she didn't open the door, my heart started to race with worry.
"Peyton? Are you in there? Are you ok?" I said loudly to the closed door. When I still receive no answer, I put my hand on the doorknob. "Peyton, I'm coming in."
I opened the door and poked my head around to look into her room. My eyes landed on Peyton who was lying on her bed, and I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding.
"Peyton, what are you…" My words trialed off when I noticed a deep red stain on the bedspread. "Oh God."
I ran into the room and over to Peyton's bed, and I took Peyton into my arms. Noticing how pale she was, and the bluish tint to her lips, I choked back a sob. I looked down to see the gash in her arm, and the pool of blood that she had been laying in.
"Peyton! Peyton wake up!" I screamed, gently shaking her. When she didn't respond, I could feel my head starting to spin.
Holding onto my friend's lifeless body for a moment, wishing that this was a dream, the tears started to pour down my cheeks. I reached over to her uninjured wrist and felt for a pulse. When I didn't find a pulse, my worst fears were confirmed.
Setting Peyton back onto the bed, I got up and went over to her desk. Picking up the phone, I dialed 911.
"911, what is your emergency?" The dispatcher asked
"My friend." I cleared my throat so that I could speak clearly. "She slit her wrist."
"What is the address, sir? I'm sending an emergency team out right away." The dispatcher responded quickly
"It's umm…she's, uh…she's dead." I brought my eyes to Peyton again, and I put a hand over my mouth to silence my sobs
"Are you positive?"
"Yes." I whispered. "There was no pulse."
After giving the dispatcher Peyton's address and the details of what I found, I set the phone down slowly.
Peyton's dead. Oh my God.
As realization hit me, I ran into the bathroom where I began to vomit. When I had thrown up everything that was possible to throw up, I turned around and sat on the bathroom floor. Wiping my mouth, I put my head in my hands and cried as I waited for the police and the emergency crew to arrive.
After the emergency crews had swarmed Peyton's house and did everything that they needed to do, I left Peyton's house in a daze. They had officially pronounced Peyton dead. I was over there for most of the day as I talked to police officer after police officer about how I had found Peyton's body.
Collapsing at the dining room table as I walked through the door to my house, I began to cry once again.
Why did she do it? What was so horrible that she felt she had to take her own life?
There are so many things that I have to do now before I can let myself break down completely. They've already contacted Mr. Sawyer, but I'm the one who is going to have to tell all of our friends. I don't want Mr. Sawyer to have to do that.
Oh God. How am I supposed to tell Jake that the woman that he loves is gone? And Brooke; her best friend is dead. This is going to be the hardest part of it all.
I sat up and reached out for the phone. Looking at my outstretched hand, I realized that Peyton's blood was all over me.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to control myself. Deciding who I needed to talk to first, I dialed a number.
"Hello?" Karen answered
"Mom." I stifled a sob
"Lucas. What happened? Are you ok?" Karen asked, immediately concerned with how her only son was acting
"It's Peyton. She killed herself." I said, not even trying to put it in better words
Karen was silent for a moment, and then she took a deep breath. "I'll be right home." She said with tears in her voice
"Ok." I said, my voice barley above a whisper
I hung up the phone and stood up to wash my hands. I watched as the water turned pink and Peyton's blood disappeared from my hands. I let the water wash over them for a long time, dreading what I had to do next.
Turning the water off, I dried my hands and picked up the phone again.
"Hello?" Jake answered
"Jake, its Lucas. Look man, you need to come home."
"Luke, I would love to, believe me, but Nikki has Jenny, and-"
"It's about Peyton." I interrupted softly
Jake was silent for a moment.
"What happened?" Jake asked slowly
"You just need to get here Jake; as soon as you can." I said, not wanting to tell Jake that Peyton was gone over the phone
"I'll be right there." Jake said, determined, as he hung up the phone
I hit the disconnect button only to dial another number.
"Hello?" An irritated voice answered
"Nathan, its Lucas."
"Look man, now is not a good time." Nathan snapped
"I need you to put away your hatred towards me right now, and come to my house." I said quickly before Nathan could hang up
"I can't do that. Haley's here, and-"
"Haley?" I said, surprised to hear that she was back. My heart broke a little more as I thought of my best friend who had to come back to this.
"Yes. Now if you'd excuse me."
"Wait!" I yelled desperately. "Really Nathan, I need you to come over. And have Haley come with you. I know that things are bad between us right now, and with you and Haley, and I wouldn't be asking unless it was extremely important." I said, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to come again
Nathan was silent for a moment as he thought. "Alright man." Nathan finally agreed, picking up on his brother's seriousness
"Thanks." I said as I hung up the phone.
I sat at my dining room table until I heard a knock on the door. I got up and walked to the front of the house, and I braced myself before I had to face anyone.
Opening the door, my eyes misted over when I saw Nathan and Haley before me. Nathan looked royally pissed off, and Haley looked like she had already been crying.
"Lucas." Haley said with a small smile as she leaned up to hug me
"Hey Hales." I said softly as I hugged her back
"What's this about Luke?" Nathan asked
I released Haley and stepped back. "Come inside."
"Lucas! You're bleeding!" Haley said as she looked down at my sweatshirt
I took a deep breath. "Come inside." I repeated in a whisper and turned around to sit in the living room
Nathan and Haley exchanged a look and followed me inside. When we had settled into the living room, Nathan was the first to speak.
"Lucas, what the hell is going on?" Nathan asked, his brow furrowed with worry
"There's something that I need to tell you, and no matter how I say it, it's not going to be easy to hear." I started out
"What is it?" Haley asked
"At some point last night, Peyton took her life." I said
"What?" Haley choked out, immediately beginning to sob
"Peyton's dead?" Nathan asked, a blank expression on his face
"Yeah." I answered
The three of us sat there for a while. Nathan was staring off into space, Haley was trying to control her sobs, and I was dreading what I had to do next; call Brooke.
"Why?" Nathan asked softly, breaking the silence
I shook my head. "I don't know."
"I can't believe that she's gone." Haley said. "This is unreal."
Nathan looked at his wife, and felt compassion. "Hales." He said softly, earning a surprised look from Haley
"Nathan?" Haley said hesitantly
"Come here." Nathan said, opening his arms to welcome his wife
Haley started to cry once again as she collapsed into her husbands arms. "Oh God Nathan. This can't be happening."
"Shh. It's ok Haley." Nathan said soothingly into Haley's hair
My heart began to ache at the sight of my brother and best friend in each other's arms. They had so much to deal with already, and now they had to add the death of a close friend on top of that.
"Have you called Jake? And Brooke?" Nathan asked me over Haley's head
"I called Jake. He's on his way back to Tree Hill. I couldn't tell him over the phone that Peyton was gone." I drew in a ragged breath. "I haven't talked to Brooke yet. I don't even know what to say to her."
"Why?" Haley suddenly asked. "Why did she do it?" Hurt and maybe even a little bit of anger showed through in her voice
"I don't know." I said, all of a sudden feeling very tired
Nathan, noticing this, cleared his throat. "Come on Haley. We should let Lucas rest. He's had a rough morning."
Haley nodded. "Ok." She sniffled
I walked them to the door, and Haley turned to me and threw her arms around my neck. Smiling slightly, I closed my eyes as I kissed her hair. She pulled away with a small smile, and started to walk down the walkway.
"Luke-"
I held up a hand to silence Nathan. "It's ok man. Take care of Haley."
In a surprising gesture, Nathan gave me a tight hug.
"Call me if you need me." Nathan whispered sadly
I nodded my head at my little brother, and gave him a small smile.
Closing the door after Nathan and Haley left, I walked into my room and collapsed on my bed. Before I could even try to sleep, I had one more thing to do.
Call Brooke.
First of all, thank you to everyone who reviewed! It means a lot that you all liked my story so far. I hope that in some way I can catch the emotions of everyone as real as possible. I'm not very good at writing in first person, so please forgive me. At some point, I might switch to third person, but I'm not sure yet.
This chapter was really hard to write, and I have a feeling the other chapters will be difficult also. So please bear with me if I dont update for a while. I hope that this chapter was ok, and that in some way the emotions were realistic. I know that this is an extremely hard subject to talk about, and I hope that I am not offending anyone in any way.
Please let me know what you guys think, that way I know if there is anything that I need to change. Thanks again for reading my story : )