Destynii Skywalker: Thank you so much for your review. I'm glad you think my story is well-written, because English is my second language and I really had a hard time writing it. I know it's a sad story, and it will be worse I'm afraid.

I don't know why I don't have more reviews, maybe it's because I'm new here. But as long as I have readers who enjoy my fic,I'll continue.

There is only one more chapter except this one, so enjoy. Thanks again.

Chapter 4

Sleep claimed him late that night. For the first time, Mara appeared alive in his dream and in his soul. She was sitting in their living room, dressed in a white gown. Soft music was everywhere. From time to time men dressed in ceremony clothes stopped near her, asking her to dance. She was thanking them with a smile and refused every one of them. They were leaving, but others were coming. Nobody saw that she was holding a small child in her arms, a child who looked like her and like him. The boy had her red gold hair and his blue pale eyes. But the baby's eyes seemed old and tired. Mara was wiping his little face constantly. Another man stopped in front of her, asking her to dance. Mara put the baby on the floor carefully, closed his eyes with her hand and departed dancing with the man, disappearing in a silvery fog.

He woke up crying, horrified.

"Mara", he spoke her name softly, his voice sounding strange in the silence of the room, interrupted only by Callista's soft breathing.

He rose from the bed, dressing himself in the dark, opened the door without making any sound and hurried toward his old home. Rain was pouring from the sky, and he lingered outside, feeling his mind and his soul cleaning up.

He spent most of the night thinking about Mara. He saw her watching lovingly over their child. He was smiling softly. Smiling to his child he never had the chance to know.

His thoughts wandered toward Callista. He knew he was not fair to her, she really loved him and he knew he didn't deserve her. He tried hard the year that passed to offer the same love in return, and sometimes he even thought he managed that. He smiled, sadness enveloping him. He should not try anymore, he will have to do it, and do it right, without any reservation. She deserved to be happy, and after all, he deserved it, too.

Callista woke up in the middle of the night, alone. She waited for him a long time, knowing very well he might not come back. She knew she could not hold him for long anymore, despite her true love for him. But that was not enough. Not anymore. She cursed the day she decided, years ago, to leave him for her unfruitful quest of finding her Force powers again.

She was a bright and good looking woman and she could have the love of any man she wanted. After his marriage to Mara, her sentimental successes were only a way of killing time and memories of the days he loved her for real. She walked away a long time ago but she never found another man who could replace him in her heart. When she came back into their life, she told them she was not in love with him anymore and she tried to believe that too, but deep in her heart she knew she was fooling herself. Against her will, she still loved him.

And now she was finally his wife. Maybe the letters were the reason, and Callista felt a pang of guilt thinking about that. She tried to convince herself that those letters belonged to the past. She was the only one who knew Marelai's secret, and that's how things should stay forever. Marelai's love was hers now. Only the future counts and she knew everything will be all right.

"I am alive, I am his wife. And will make him happy, I swear", she promised herself.

Luke was sitting at Mara's desk, reading the letters again. He lost counting of how many times he red them. They made him feel being loved and in love. Strangely, Callista's closeness, being the woman who wrote the letters, did not give him that feeling. So the letters became his refugee, his hunger for love and happiness being satisfied in that strange way.

Last time he was here, he left the letters on the desk, but now he wanted to find a proper place to keep them. He began to open the drawers of the desk, until he found a locked one. That surprised him. Mara never kept any secrets from him, and he never bothered to check her private belongings before. He forced the drawer to open, feeling a little guilty doing that, but his curiosity was too great.

The drawer was filled with old letters, pictures of both of them, a few jewelry he remember Mara wore sometimes, but under all that stuff, he discovered an old writing book. Curious, he pulled it out and opened it. It seemed to be some sort of diary, and he was surprised to discover that. He never knew that Mara kept a diary.

" I don't know if I should read it", he whispered. Obviously, Mara kept that a secret, and he felt like invading her privacy. But she was dead, so it did not matter anymore, he tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing.

And he began to read… Short, wild sentences, like Mara herself, scattered across the pages…

"They say when a woman is hopelessly in love, she should keep a diary, and the pain will become less intense. I will do that. But I know the pain will be there forever."

"I certainly don't need a man in my life, but I can't help falling in love."

"I hate you… I hate you… I hate you for loving you so much…"

"Maybe if I ignore my feelings long enough I will forget that I love him"

"Why do I remember every word he said, every gesture he ever made?"

"I'm dying slowly, but I let my soul live by loving him"

"Every bloody day begins end ends with the knowledge that he exists. When will this stop? Will this EVER stop?"

"What really hurts is that he does not know about the love I long to give him."

"I decided to never frown again in front of him. Who knows, maybe one day he will fall in love with my smile."

"I already spent so many nights thinking of him. Would he ever hold me in his arms, was it worth it? Today I know the answer is no, because he is in love with another woman. Did I wait for too long? Why did I not tell him anything? It's too late now. I will forget you, I promise you that. I'll have to shut down my emotions and regress into a shell, but I will do it. It's not that hard to deny I have feelings, after all I've done that all my life until I met you."

"She left him and that could be my chance. Maybe I should go to him and pick up the broken pieces of his heart. But I know I'll never do that. No leftovers for me, thank you!"

"So many years passed and I still love him! Why is this happening to me? Why?"

"I chased after his love for what seems to me forever. And now, when I stopped to take a rest for a while, it finally found me."

"I know he will be forever in my heart, in my arms. I know that now. Every beat of my heart fills more and more with his love"

"The beauty inside him is miraculous. Today is our first anniversary. But we both know we don't need that to celebrate. Every day with each other is a celebration."

"My soul wants to dance with him forever. Let the angels sing!"

"He keeps annoying me whining that I never express properly my love for him. What does he expect? Write him love letters? I won't do that, not in a million years. Maybe 50 years from now I'll show him this diary, and he will know then how much I love him and for how long. I never admitted to him that I was the first to fall in love. It's kinda humiliating."

"I know now what I'll do. He keeps asking for proves of my love. But does HE love me enough? We'll see that very soon…"

Luke stopped reading. His eyes were in tears, and he could not distinguish the words anymore. But before he got to the last page of the diary, he already knew the truth.

TBC