Luke stood up, not wanting to read the final notes in the diary. He knew what he would find there. And the truth tore him apart.

But eventually he resumed his reading.

"She refused me when I asked her the first time. But I insisted over and over again, until she finally agreed to help. Still, she did not understand my reasons to do this crazy little thing. I explained that I want to test Luke's love for me and that she was the best choice, as his former lover. She said it was too dangerous. What if Luke discovers that she wrote the letters? How would she explain to him?

I think maybe this would be the best thing to happen. And then he will have to choose. If he really loves me like he says, I know he will choose me.

So we made up this little plan. The words and the love were mine, I put my soul in those letters, everything I wanted to tell him so many times, all these years, but not daring to do so .The handwriting was hers. And when he'll be away from home, I'll plant the letters so he could easy find them when he returns. I wonder if he will recognize her handwriting. After all, he loved her once. And if he doesn't, we'll make him find out somehow."

"Sometimes I wonder what I will do if he will chose her, and not me. If he would leave me I think I'll never make it without him. I think he has no idea how important he is for me. But that's a risk I have to take. I know Callista would never accept him, take him away from me, after all, she doesn't love him anymore, but the letters could change HIS feelings. But I know I have to set him free. If he chose me, I know he'll be mine forever, if he doesn't, then I'll know he never was…Just because I love him, that doesn't mean he feels the same. Maybe he is not the one for me. Or I am not the one for him. "

"He is not the same anymore after he red the letters. I can feel that inside me. He told me about the first letters, but then he stopped. He is hiding the letters, and he is hiding his feelings. It's the first time he lies to me. I know exactly how many letters there are, and I sense him when he wakes up in the middle of the night to read them again and again. Did I make a mistake? What he offered me wasn't enough? Why do I need to have more? Maybe I'm too pessimistic, but I'm not feeling very well these days. I love him so much it hurts. Why doesn't he know that? I want to cry, but the tears would not come. I cried so many years waiting for him and I can't do it anymore. "

Luke put the diary away, pain rolling out of him in waves.

What did he do? Why did he do it? The fact that Mara wasn't sincere with him did not matter at all. He did hurt her in return a thousand times worst and it was all his fault.

She loved him for years, and he didn't know that until now. He was so ashamed of himself. Looking back in time, he knew he should have realized it, from the look in her eyes, especially when he got together with Callista for the first time. She pretended to be happy for him, but now he knew she was so sad, desperate and angry with herself. That's why they saw each other so little all these years. She avoided him, not to hurt herself anymore. Why did he not know that her feelings were a lot deeper than friendship? Maybe their life would be different if he knew.

He suddenly stood up again, determination in his eyes. He knew now what he had to do. He was sorry only that it took so long to realize it.

He left the apartment, holding the diary and the letters in his arms. They were the most precious things that were left for him now. He passed along the buildings, heading towards the jungle, not caring about the rain, which rapidly became a thunderstorm. He went on an on, not caring about the predators wandering freely across the wild jungle at this hour at night. The storm became stronger, with the lightning's glare casting a surreal, ghostly glow on the whole area through many distant bursts. Combined with the orange glow from the gas giant Yavin, it was rather eerie.

Marelai's words were dancing in his ears. That's all what was left from Mara now: Marelai.

"I'm not afraid of your smile. That means I'm not afraid of anything. And that's why I'm writing you this letter…"

"I love you more now than when you began to read this letter."

'Mara, it's you!"

"Yes, it's me."

"You!"

And the disappointment in her eyes…

"Maybe this is not our time, maybe we'll meet in another life, another love."

"Yes, my love, you were right. We will meet again, I'm sorry only that you waited so long for me. I was a fool… Will you be able to forgive me? Are you still waiting for me? Please, Mara, I hope you are still waiting for me…"

The rain was so dense now, he could not see anything in front of him. And he was so tired he could not take any step forward. So he stopped. He heard a noise at his left. Then behind him. The predators were gathering, sensing their prey. He searched for the lightsaber at his belt, but it wasn't there. He left it behind at home, when he departed in a hurry. He tensed for a moment, but he relaxed almost immediately. He did not need the weapon. He smiled and closed his eyes.

"I'm coming right now, my love. You waited for me over a year, what's a few moments more? I just have to be patient and wait a little more…"

Holding the precious letters tightly against his chest, protecting them from the rain with his cloak, he fell on his knees on the ground and closed his eyes again.

And then he waited.

THE END