Title: Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution
Rating: R (Due to issues of rape, torture, violence and sex scenes later on).
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, they are property of James Cameron and Fox.
Name: X-318
Summary: Designate This Re-done. There is NO virus in this story but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being separated for so long. Enjoy! Ok this chapter has taken me ages to write so I hope you like, here it goes. Thanks for all your reviews they were very much appreciated! I will explain everything about the escape and what happened to her in due course, this will mainly be through flashbacks and remembering in dreams, so please stick with me. Warning this chapter may contain shocking imagery. But it's balanced out with loads of Max and Logan to make up for it.
Chapter 2: Nothing is sacred anymore: PART ONE.
Constantly lying down had taken its toll on Max, it was not something she usually did especially during the day. Whilst back at Manticore that was all she seemed to be able to do mainly from being strapped down. She could hear Logan frantically rummaging through the cupboards in the kitchen, looking for some ingredients so he could whip up a wonderful creation. She wished that everything that had happened recently was just a terrible dream and when she turned the corner she would see Logan the same as any other time she had stayed over after a mission. As she made her way towards the noise, she could hardly keep her balance so leaned against whatever was nearest for support. She could hear the whirring of the exoskeleton as he moved around the kitchen, a place he had not actually been in a while, unbeknownst to her. It hadn't felt right for him to be going about life as normal when Max wasn't around to share it with him.
As he pushed aside boxes and containers looking for the full ingredients to make anything as long as it was edible. He couldn't stop thinking about the Max that had returned to him, Manticore must have done something really awful, worse then anything before, for her to be in this much of a state. It was unbearable to even think of what might have happened. The anger inside him started to build up for not being able to be there for her when she needed it, she had already gone through more than any other person and she was only so young.
Whilst Max was sleeping he had done his best to clean up the blood that had seeped into the hardwood floor from where he had found her collapsed. But the task wasn't as easy as he first thought it would be, it didn't matter how hard he had scrubbed even causing his own hands to bleed in the process it just wouldn't budge. Now there was a constant reminder of this day etched into the surface of the floor near the door, the last thing he wanted was for Max to see it. The sight of seeing her lying on the floor motionless flashed into his mind for the hundredth time that night, and he shook his head to budge it. That moment was the most joyous and terrifying moment in his whole life to see she had returned but the pain she was obviously in.
Whilst watching her sleep sometimes he could see the innocence of such a young woman. She had never had the chance to be a child like most people. No one should have to go through what torture they presented to her. As his thoughts consumed him he realised his grip on the cupboard handle was so tight that he had cut off the blood travelling to his hand. The harsh white colour of his knuckles expressed his emotion in a vivid reality. He was not an evil person, just the acts that he did as eyes only proved that. But at this moment thinking of the people, if you could call them that, at Manticore hurting his Max brought forward things he wouldn't normally wish on anyone, but he couldn't help himself. If he would come face to face with these people he didn't think he would be about to hold his cool, and the person he didn't ever want to become would be let loss uncontrollably. He would never be able to look at Max again without thinking it was all his fault, I should have told her not to got, we should have sat down and thought out a better plan before going ahead with it.
But as these thoughts kept coming to him he realised his Max wouldn't have listened, she cared too much about her family that was one of the reasons he loved her. He had seen her develop into a strong, caring individual that unlike when she first turned up on his doorstep, or window, just looking out for number one. Deep down he know that was just something to hide behind so people wouldn't get close. But it had not worked on him, he had fallen in love with her, but just to scared to admit it thinking she would never want someone like him especially with the chair.
Logan could hear shuffling down the corridor and without turning around greeted Max with the first thing that came to mind, "You should be in bed resting…You seem to be losing your touch, not your usual stealthily approach", he turned round to see Max leaning against the table that supported his computer. Her face was pale and lifeless, he could see she was still weak, as she stumbled over her own feet. His smile soon faded, and in a heartbeat he was next to her holding her arm in his to steady her, his other hand resting on the small of her back as she leaning against him for support. "This is why you should be in bed", he said leading her to the chair in the kitchen so she could sit down for a minute. It felt strange to her to have someone care about her so much and the emotions were almost too much for her to take in.
Max took a shaky breath after taking the weight off her legs, "I'm fed up of lying down. The real reason you want me in your bed, is so that you can have me all to yourself", Max said smiling up at the gorgeous, caring man beside her. She didn't necessarily mind if that was the real reason, but that concept would have been better if he was there to witness it with her. He had moved to the side and Max realised how much she missed his touch.
Logan smiled at the thought Max had created in his head, and the comment that relaxed his uneasiness and worry. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to you now that your back". He returned the smile showing the cute dimples she loved so much. A silence washed over them both, but it was a comfortable one no awkwardness about it. Max was looking up at him, the seating now reversed. He looked tired and scruffier than usual with his hair falling down in his face. She hoped he hadn't stayed up all night because of her. Throughout the night she had felt his presence in the room with her, and more than once she hoped he would join her in bed holding her close so she felt save in his embrace. But that never happened, maybe he thought he would hurt her or maybe it was because in the short time she had returned it felt like they had gone backwards in their relationship instead of progressed or picked up from where they left off. It's all my fault she thought, I shouldn't have pushed him away when he was there to help me, he doesn't want anything to do with me now anyway. Who would I'm broken goods now, not that I was ever right in the first place.
Max was content to just sit there all day and gaze at Logan in front of her. Back at Manticore she would picture his face whenever things became to tough and his smile would make everything better. More than once she had to hold herself back from smiling, if Renfro had seen that things would have been even worse. They had tried re-indocunation more than once with no success but when they were trying to get her to spill on eyes only and she could see the image on the screen from one of his hacks all it did was reassure her everything would be okay.
"How long was I out for anyway?" Max asked changing the subject. She leaned forward placing her head in her hands before running her fingers through her dishevelled hair. She didn't really care what she looked like at the moment, she felt relaxed enough around Logan to know that it didn't really matter what she looked like. Closing her eyes for a brief second she realised how tied she actually was but didn't want to be alone in her sleep, where all those thoughts could invade her. Instead she wanted to forget the best she could.
Logan could see she was struggling to stay awake, her eyelids barely able to stay open. "All together…I'd say twelve hours". In all that time Logan hadn't closed his eyes once, scared that if he did then this would turn out to be a dream. Both of them needed the rest but both not wanting what would come with that. Logan looked down realising he had been wearing the exoskeleton throughout the entire night, then it hit him how exhausted he felt and the muscles he could feel were strained and heavy, screaming out to him.
"Wow that must be a record, my personal best. What time is it now?" Max asked raising her head up, from her arched over position at the island in the centre of Logan's kitchen.
"10:30am…" Logan said stepping forward to lean on the same table Max was. "Okay it seems that my cupboards are kind of bare, how's pancakes sound for now", he continued lightening the mood with a smile. "Sorry but they're going to have to be plain too". Now at eye level he could see the look in her brown depths, they had returned to how he remembered them. Fall of life, but there was something else that was there, something unfamiliar, something that portrayed sorrow and pain. What must she have seen or experienced for this, the only time he had seen this look was in his mother's eyes when she told him his father had died. He would never forget that day and the look on her face. It was hard to explain but it was like her eyes had glazed over, she had lost the will to live. A huge part of her had been taken from her and now he could see this same look in Max. He wanted to ask her everything, what happened to her? How was she sitting here with him now when he had seen her die? What did they do? But he wanted Max to come to him when she was ready, if she was not prepared to relive that pain yet then he would wait forever if need be.
To Max some of his fabulous pancakes sounded heavenly, but then again so would anything compared to the rations of food she received back at Manticore. That's if she got anything at all. "Whatever…But make sure you make loads I'm starved". Logan smiled at the comment that was so predictably Max, it was almost like she had never left. He had not cooked for anyone whilst Max was not around, and barely even for himself he didn't see the point for anything.
Now that they were positioned so close to each other, a mere step away. Max could clearly see the mark she had caused to his skin. It had turned a painful shade of purple, black in some places. Her hands had done this to him, she had hurt him in ways she would hurt her worst enemy. Whilst she was doing it, she couldn't even see Logan in front of her, instead she could see the faces of her attackers from Manticore. After being dragged back to Manticore she had come to realise the harsh reality of the stories her brother Ben had told her when they were children. Whilst there she had spent most of her time in the basement, or solitary as they called it. She would lye on the cold metal bed unable to sleep for fear of what was to come. The constant sounds of howling from pain and hunger, from the cells of the ones that weren't so lucky. Their DNA so screwed up they had never known of a place called outside, and probably never would. The hatred and burning anger in her eyes for the ones that followed orders like good little soldiers and doing as Renfro had told them. Not knowing right from wrong, she couldn't blame them as much as the ones that gave the orders. When she sensed a hand coming towards her the other night, not knowing it was Logan she did all she could to defend herself. "Sorry…about that…" Logan followed her line of sight to his wrist, "…Does it hurt?" she asked unable to look him in the eye to see the pain she had caused him.
Logan pulled his sleeve down to cover the bruise as best he could, "It's nothing, I'm fine", he didn't want her having to worry about anything else on top of the thoughts in her head. He reached across the table and gently placed his hand on top of hers. Max flinched, her first reaction wanting to pull away but deciding against that when she saw the thoughtful, compassionate look in his eyes. The truth was she didn't want him to see her hands, they were cut, scratched and if Original Cindy saw her nails all chipped and busted she would probably have a heart attack.
Max was wearing his jumper he had found her in when she had collapsed on the floor early. It was unfamiliar but pleasant at the same time to see her so relaxed in an item of his clothing. Something he hoped he would have seen if they had ever got together. The idea of her skin brushing against something he had worn not so long ago ignited something within him he hadn't confessed to being there not so long ago.
Max noticed Logan had been staring at her, it took her a while to figure out it was because she had stolen his sweatshirt, which she was comfortably snuggled in. The arms were way too long and the garment drowned her petite form, but she liked to have an item of his clothing with his scent on wrapped round her. That way she knew she was back and no one could change that. "Sorry 'bout thieving your jumper, I was kinda cold", she had grabbed the hem and was about to pull it over her head when Logan's calming voice stopped her in the process.
"No problem Max, looks better on you anyway. What's mine is yours", he replied smiling at her cute attempt at apologising, for taking a piece of his property. He thought it was weird to have her saying sorry for an act that had become predictable in the last year to see her do, that is how he had meet her after all. But he quickly brushed that thought aside and returning to the task at hand, breakfast. Mustn't keep a genetically engineered solider waiting for food, especially when she hadn't eaten properly in three months.
He commenced in taking all the ingredients out that he would need to make the pancakes, placing them on the work surface as Max watched every move. It was like she had never left, this is how things had always been. Her perched on the counter observing him as he made them a fabulous meal. She was never the greatest of cooks and Logan's foods had every taste bud tingling with delight.
While Logan was busy at work, Max noticed the headache that had been present since she had gotten out of bed, but it had not budged. She had knocked her head on the way down from the seizure and a lump had formed, throbbing from the pain. Max shut her eyes in frustration, wishing the pain would go away so she could go back to her normal life and not be remembered of all the things Manticore performed on her. But would that ever really happen, or was she just praying beyond hope. The more Max continued to think on the subject the worse her head felt. She could see Logan in the corner of her eye, he had started humming as he flipped the pancakes that had started to bubble.
Logan turned round as the first set were nearly cooked, noticing Max was in some pain from the look on her face. "Are you okay?" he asked stepping closer, his overprotective nature towards her kicking in.
"Yeah I'll be fine, just got a headache…it'll pass", she lied slightly not wanting Logan to worry. "So you gonna feed me or what?" for now moving away from the subject. Logan grabbed her plate and started filling it with the golden pancakes giving it back to her once he had placed everyone on her plate. He wasn't hungry for now instead was content to see her enjoy. They settled down around the island, Logan sipping on his coffee and Max with a full glass of milk encase any seizures decided to rear their ugly head today.
Max popped another mouthful of pancakes covered in syrup into her mouth when it occurred to her that she hadn't seen Original Cindy and that she would need to let her know that she was back. Max hastily swallowed the food without even chewing properly, "I almost forgot about OC, she'll be freakin' out wondering where I am", Max was in the middle of regaining her balance to get up when Logan's hand came up to stop her. She turned to look at him waiting for what he had to say.
"Already fixed, I phoned her said I needed a favour, she doesn't know anything", Logan continued after seeing a relieved look wash over Max's face, "She'll be over in two hours", he said looking at the clock briefly.
"Thanks Logan, what would I do without you", Max popped another bite in her mouth, a very pleased look plastered on her face and a mischievous glint in her eye as she stuck her tongue out to wipe the syrup from the corner of her mouth. Logan was mesmerised by the women in front of him, and content at seeing her smile so sweetly. He had truly missed that while she wasn't around, whenever he saw her it would bring a smile to his face. More than once while she was at Manticore and he had fallen asleep on the couch after another restless night, hearing the door open he would bolt up expecting to see Max walk through the door but instead it would be Bling. Who had become an even more permanent fixture in the apartment after he had heard about what had happened to Max and seen how Logan was far from coping on his own. When Bling saw Logan's face fall he would come out with something like "It's great to see you too", or "Sorry to disappoint". But Logan would never be in the mood and turn to look out the window up at the space needle. Thinking if he looked hard enough he would be able to see Max walking out to her usual spot on the edge where she had taken him the day they took down Manticore. He should have told her how he felt then, instead of thinking they had forever.
Max was enjoying this moment with the man she cared so much about opposite her as she finished off her second plate of pancakes. "What I miss while I was gone?" She asked wanting to get her head off of everything Manticore by just chatting like they used to.
"Nothing much, you know the usual blah, blah, woof, woof right. But it hasn't been the same without you raiding my fridge all the time", Logan said remembering the first time he felt those lips on his. Using the same words she used to describe the work he did.
Max was unable to hold the smile back, "Glad to see I was missed".
"Oh you were missed for sure", he said moving his hand to rest on her knee. He soon realised that she had not bothered in erase the close contact, but removed his hand after awhile anyway, he didn't want to push her into things too quickly. "I have a surprise for you. So hurry up and finish your breakfast then I can show you", he added as his lips turned up on the ends into a half smile.
"Really?" her eyebrows rose to the idea, "How did you know I'd be coming back?" Max asked in playful banter.
"I never thought you wouldn't, I mean why would you give up your meal ticket that easily", he answered with as much eagerness to return to how they used to talk comfortably together.
Max was touched at his words knowing that even though she felt different on returning, he was still treating her the same way, "So what's this surprise then?" The curiosity getting too much for the little patience she had.
"If I told you how would it be a surprise", he teased leaning into her a little more than usual.
"Aww come on, you know my patience is small to none existent", she found herself leaning forward also and now their heads were centimetres apart. She could smell the masculine aftershave he was wearing. Max noticed Logan's hand was reaching round her back and leaned in to brush against his touch slightly. Max's nose was near his cheek as he turned his head towards her face. Max breathed in sharply, everything from before forgotten now she was so close to Logan. His beard grazed her chin slightly sending pleasant slivers down her spine, unlike the ones she experiences when having a seizure. Her eyes were drawn to Logan's mouth as it started to move, not quite hearing the words formed.
"Max…I said have you finished with the food now", Max shook her head trying to bring herself back to the present instead of wherever she was just. "No…Okay I guess your surprise will have to wait a little longer then", Logan said pulling back after seeing her response. Had she just felt what I just felt he thought, the sparks between them, were they really there or a figment of my imagination.
It took Max a while to regain her composure, to realise what had just happened and why he had pulled back. He hadn't been leaning into me, he had been reaching for my plate, God I'm an idiot. "Oh…yeah I'm done…Don't make me wait any longer than I already am", she said after hearing his question go over in her head again.
"You sure?" he asked leaning forward to grab the plate for the second time.
"I'm sure", she moved out his way so he could take the plate. As he got up and moved to the sink to rinse before placing it in the dishwasher. Max watched ever move from her seated position behind him. How he had become so comfortable in using the exoskeleton since she had gone. But then she realised he probably had no choice about it he had no cat burglar to do his legwork anymore for his eyes only missions. But then she thought what if he had gotten into some sort of trouble because she wasn't there to protect him like the day he got shot. All of a sudden she felt guilty for leaving him, even though it couldn't be helped. She felt herself slip back into the heartache state she was in after waking up.
Max was about to get up when Logan appeared at her side helping her, she hesitated a moment before taking his hand and leaning into his side. Even though she'd never admit it she liked having someone to take care of her like Logan was. She was supposed to be the tough warrior looking after herself showing no weakness but sometimes even she has to relax.
Max's head was rested on Logan's shoulder as he held her hand in his. The ride down to the parking lot in the elevator was silent but peaceful. Logan's excitement was building at the thought of seeing Max's face when she saw that her baby was safe and sound. The doors opened and they were greeted with an eerie silence from the empty parking lot. Logan led Max out holding onto her hand to give her the strength she needed.
Max looked up when she realised where they were heading, that's when she noticed her surprise parked in pride of place next to Logan's Aztec. The thought hadn't even occurred to her about what had happened to her baby, she had been too preoccupied with everything else. If he hadn't have brought this back here someone would have nicked the thing most defiantly, she was touched that he thought about her most precious possessions to have gone and retrieved it. She looked up to see him smiling down, she hadn't noticed the goofy grin that had spread across her own face whilst standing there. "Thank you Logan. Thing probably would have been in a thousand pieces if I had to go back and get it now".
"It's no problem. But I have to confess I've taken a few rides of my own". Max could see the impish smile on his lips waiting for her answer. Truthfully she liked the idea of having Logan on her bike and she wished there was more of that to come, but with her there this time to enjoy it with him.
Max nudged him in the side, "No problamo, you're more than welcome". She moved out from under his arm over to her bike, running her fingers over the smooth surface.
Bling used his key card in the swipe machine on the elevator. He had made his way round to Logan's apartment to check up on him and bring round a few groceries. He was worried about his employer and now best friend, seeing him go through something so terrible and not knowing how to help. He didn't know what to say and Logan seemed to becoming more reclusive by the day, not talking, not eating and not having enough rest. Most mornings he would find Logan in the same position he had left him the night before sitting at his computer, staring at the screen. This Max thing had hit him really hard, and he wasn't sure if he'd make it through. The guy needed some kicking into shape, but he didn't know how long he should give him, it had been nearly three months and no change.
When the elevator doors opened to reveal the hallway he saw that the door to the apartment was open. Unsure as to why this was he slowly made his way through the entry slipping the bags to the floor near the door and retrieving the gun that was tucked into the back of his waistband. The first thing to catch his eye was the bloodstain on the floor that had been attempted to clean up but leaving a lasting mark. Bling started to worry the worse scenario possible his mind working over time. Had someone found out Logan was eyes only and come for revenge, but how could that be. He made his way into the kitchen, there was no sign of a struggle so that reassured him a little. Leaning over the sink he could see the remains of a glass, broken into pieces. Nothing was making any sense, maybe Logan had had a slight accident with the exoskeleton. He never really liked that damn thing it caused more hassle than it's worth, always shorting out, and it didn't solve the problem of Logan being paralysed from the waste down.
Bling could hear soft mumblings in the hallway so made his way over to the door, recognising one voice as being Logan's and the relaxed tone, he placed his gun down on the worktop and walked closer to the conversation going on behind the door. When the door opened to reveal Logan standing there as shocked as he was he couldn't see the other person to the side of him obstructed by the door in front. "Hey man what the hell happened?" he demanded realising after that his tone might have been a bit harsh. Before he could answer the mysterious other person made themselves known stepping round Logan to come face to face with the friend she had come to know so well through Logan. Bling was dumbstruck at what he was seeing, "Max?" was all he could get out before he wrapped his arms around the petit figure, holding her close. "How is this possible, this guy told me you were…I mean…you".
Max pulled back to look at Bling in the face, he was obviously struggling with the words he wanted to say so she thought she'd finish it for him, "Dead, yeah I was for a brief moment". She looked over at Logan, and the look on his face at the realisation was heart wrenching so she thought she'd have to say something else, "But I'm back now…right", she squeezed his hand in hers as she saw his smile reappear.
Bling had continued to talk, "I can't believe it". But Max's attention had been caught by something else, she had noticed the gun on the table and all of a sudden everything drained away and all she could remember was the armed soldiers trained on her outside her cell. The noise of the magazine going off from the gun held by her clone as she was on her way back to Logan. Her hand started to shake, she didn't want this to happen again, she needed to get out of here before she broke down. Max stepped away from Logan who had started replying to Bling's questions, he looked down at her his face a blur.
"I'm gonna go take a shower before Original Cindy gets here", she left them standing there watching her leave before she was bombarded with further questions, she didn't have the answers for.
Bling looked at Logan, he was happy and sad all at the same time. There was something obviously wrong, something they weren't telling him, something he probably didn't need to know yet and something they had to sort out first. "Hey Logan…" he said waving his hands in front of his friends face, once he got his attention he continued, "…Think I'm going to head off". The only response he got was a weak "Okay", thinking he hadn't really been heard but deciding to leave it. He grabbed his gun from the table patting his friend on the back as he moved round him. He looked down to see Logan was wearing the exoskeleton, "Don't you think you should take that thing off…I'd hate for you to start having spasms. You've got someone else to look out for now", he opened the door and made his exit leaving them alone.
Max had freshened up and decided she had been hiding long enough so went in search for Logan, preparing herself on the way for all the questions she knew he probably had for her. Why she ran off like that when Bling turned up? And, Why she hadn't talked about anything Manticore sense she had returned? Honestly she didn't really want to talk about it right now but he deserved to know. She found him sitting at the computer, but this time in his wheelchair. Her strength had come back slightly after having something to eat, she had been deprived of the essential foods to keep her going. She guessed they didn't want her to recover at her normally speed instead making the pain last as long as possible. Max was interrupted by a knock at the door, she looked at the clock and realised it was probably Original Cindy. She made her way past Logan who had noticed her presence by deciding to give her some time. "I'll get that", he said calmly unlocking the brakes of his wheelchair. But Max was standing in his way looking down at him.
"Please, I wanna get it, I wanna see the look on my boo's face", Max whispered not wanting her OC to hear her voice. After arguing with Logan about her having to rest. She won out in the end wanting to surprise her friend. Max's bare feet patted quietly on the floor as she got closer her heart had started racing, thumping against her chest. She turned the handle bracing her feet on the ground for the huge bear hug she knew she'd be faced with.
Logan could hear a gasp of surprise from Original Cindy followed closely by, "Hey Logan! Didn't tell me my girl was back". Max was shocked that Original Cindy hadn't come out with one of her usual lines to describe Logan, obviously they had become closer than she thought whilst she was gone. This warmed her immensely knowing they both had someone to talk to.
Logan was smiling when they rounded the corner, Original Cindy's arm draped over Max's shoulders. "Thought I'd let her surprise you like she did me". He stole a quick smile in Max's direction.
"It weren't funny so you can wipe that smug look of your face to start", Original Cindy joked along.
Max looked back and forth between her two best friends in the world. She must have caused them so much unnecessary pain. She detangled herself from Original Cindy's embrace and made her way over to the couch.
A/N: Ok I hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought. I'm sorry it took me so long to get up but I was planning on having this chapter and the next all as one but it seems to be taking forever so I thought I'd give you half. I hope I haven't lost any of your interest because it's up later than expected. Please review and thanks for reading.