Title: Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution
Rating: R (Due to issues of rape, torture, violence and sex scenes later on).
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, they are property of James Cameron and Fox.
Name: X-318
Summary: Designate This Re-done. There is NO virus in this story but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being separated for so long. Enjoy! Ok, this chapter took me ages to write so I hope you like, here it goes. I'm sorry this took me so long to get out! Trying out a new divider for the sections, the others were annoying me.
You will be glad to know I finally have myself an excellent proofreader, Sim-r. Huge thanks for her patient with me and for correcting all my horrible mistakes. Happy reading let me know what you thought, all reviews are good to me if it's praise or criticisms, it's all good.
Thanks for all your reviews they were very much appreciated! You have inspired me to continue writing loads more. Thought u deserved to each be addressed personally;
Bob: You have summed up what I was aiming for perfectly. Thanks for the positive review.
SuzyQ: I am writing a new chapter for "Created to kill" at the moment, this week I promise.
Babyangel86: Thanks for the vote of confidence, and I'm glad you're in for the long haul. I'll try not to disappoint.
Sim-r: Thanks for the warm review that's made me a lot more confident in my work, and again for reading through it for me, you've helped a lot.
HuntressK: Short and sweet thanks.
Maria656: I am so sorry about the whole jumper thing. I have a marvellous proofreader now so shouldn't happen again. If it's any consolation I have that disturbing image in my head now as well. It's funny when you think about it, Logan in a dress:) And yes a jumper and a sweatshirt are practically the same, jumper heavier material. Thanks for wishing me to continue, its very reassuring.
Chapter 3: Nothing is sacred anymore: PART TWO.
"What happened, Logan? When did she come back? How?" Original Cindy burst out as soon as Max was out of earshot. Something was obviously different; her girl wasn't acting like her usual self. She looked down at Logan and could see the concern plastered across his face. His attention was fully on Max as she walked over to the couch, looking out of the window. OC wondered if the guy had even heard her questions until he started to respond.
"I don't know. Last night and again I have no clue", he answered one after the other. Ever since Max had returned she had been going in and out of this distant behaviour, he wanted to know the answers to those exact questions himself but just didn't know how to approach the subject. He didn't want Max to relive this pain by explaining it all to him, but he also knew if she didn't it wouldn't just go away and he wasn't prepared to lose her again.
Max was sitting in the same spot he had become even more familiar with in recent months, just staring out at nothing in particular. He hadn't even noticed Original Cindy's delicate hand on his shoulder until there was a light squeeze. He looked up to see his own worry being reflected back at him.
"Has she said anything?" OC questioned trying to think things through logically, otherwise she would start crying herself.
"About what happened? No, I was kinda hoping that's where you would come in. Maybe she'll open up to you. I've come up blank, she's not even mentioning it, it's like she never even went anywhere for these past three months." Logan's usual confidence was gone; he sounded desperate for some way through this.
Original Cindy didn't know if she could do anything, if the man sitting in front of her couldn't get through to Max she didn't think she could make any difference. She was sure Logan knew more about her girl than herself, Max was so closed off all the time. She couldn't blame her though it was how she got through life on a daily basis; she couldn't allow anyone in just in case they couldn't be trusted. And now it was up to her to break down this barrier that Max had taken so many years to build in order to help her. "I'll see what I can do boo, but honestly there's no one she would open up to more than yourself". She gave his shoulder one last squeeze before going to join Max on the couch.
Logan's eyes followed her thinking through what she had said. He wouldn't believe it, if it were true wouldn't she already have opened up? Then again he had no idea how bad whatever had happened to her was. He decided to stop thinking about it and see what else he could occupy his time with. If Max opening up to OC was going to work he couldn't sit in the next room staring at them. He gave his left wheel a gentle tug so he was facing the computer. He turned it on and the screen soon came to life. He had no idea what he was going to do but one thing for sure he had enough Eyes Only work to be doing for a lifetime, yet another thing he had let lag whilst Max wasn't around.
0-0-0-0-0-0
Original Cindy perched herself on the chair, her face to Max's back. She decided to wait until Max wanted to talk. Both could see each other's reflection in the full-length windows that surrounded Logan's apartment. Original Cindy saw a brief recognition in Max's eyes at her presence but she just turned her head instead of addressing her. Silence filled the apartment except for the gentle tapping of keys in the other room.
Original Cindy was about to say something when she saw Max trying to form words that weren't quite escaping her mouth. Every time she would open her mouth she would quickly close it again. Instead focussing her attention on the clouds that were quickly consuming the sky outside. Max let out a sigh; Original Cindy thought maybe it was exhaustion or maybe even frustration.
"Looks like it's gonna rain", OC finally said after it was plainly obvious Max was not going to go first. After it had passed her lips there was no going back. It was the dumbest thing to say after they had not seen each other for almost three months, but she was not one for silence. If Max wanted to pretend that nothing happened she'd go along with it, for now, until Max was ready.
Max turned in her seat but her face didn't quite reach the same level as Original Cindy's, her eyes were trained on her hands instead. "I'm sorry", finally made it out her mouth in the barest of whispers. She could taste the salty tears in her mouth; she didn't want to cry and continued saying those same words in her head. Since returning she had already broken down a million times over, most recently in the bathroom after Bling's arrival. It was not something she was familiar with and she had had enough.
"Sorry for what boo? There's nothing you've done that's your fault", OC was almost shouting not in anger but in frustration at whoever had done this to her girl. "What did they do to you?" she asked leaning forward and placing her arm around Max's shoulders. There was no pussy footing around anymore, all she wanted to do was make sure harm came to whoever put Max in this situation.
She could feel Max starting to shake under her arm, when looking down at her hands she realised it wasn't from crying but much worse. She had never experienced seeing her girl go through a seizure before, Max had made sure of that. She had always locked herself in the bathroom at their apartment because she didn't want her friend worried about her. OC started to stand, "Do you want me to get Logan? What do I do? Do you need anything? Where are your pills?" the questions were endless, shooting out her mouth before she even thought each one through.
Max simply pointing towards the bottle that was resting on the table to the side of the couch.
OC's hands were shaking as she grabbed the bottle and started opening it for Max. Giving her the pills she watched Max swallow them with ease, not even drinking anything to help them down. She looked at the size of the pills and wondered how anyone could down those things in one without choking. Silly question, she soon realised, Max isn't like everyone else. She sat back down, this time next to her friend holding her close until the shaking died down.
"Logan told me you had…you died. How is it I'm talking to you now?" Original Cindy said what she had been dying to say ever since she laid eyes on her at the door. Max was silent, unsure of what to say. "It's ok boo, yah don't have to explain, I'm just glad yah back. Just one thing…" Max looked up at her friend, the first time properly their eyes meet since OC had arrived. "…You aren't goin' anywhere? Right. Cause I don't think Logan and me could take it again. Just something between you and me, he can really mope when he has to, and that hair…I hope he decides to do somethin' about that seeing as you're back an' all, he now has the perfect reason". Max smiled, she had noticed that his hair wasn't as spiked up as it used to be and had grown a couple of inches. "Finally, there's the Max we all know an' love", OC pulled her friend in for a big hug.
0-0-0-0-0-0
Logan stopped to stretch his aching muscles, sitting at a computer for most of the day and night wasn't the cleverest of things to do. He wasn't really concentrating on the task at hand anyway; he couldn't get Max out of his head. Whilst she was gone, presumed dead, he couldn't concentrate because he missed her so much and now that she was back he couldn't concentrate because he constantly needed to know if she was okay. He realised how long he had been sitting there and he could sense the pressure building behind his eyes from looking at a bright screen for hours on end. Rubbing his temples, and stretching out his back, he pushed off from the table to adjust his seated position.
Sitting over on the couch Max caught his attention, and soon he was sitting there staring at her angelic nature. Every now and again a smile would adorn her gorgeous face and Logan couldn't help but smile to himself.
Original Cindy's vision had not neglected to notice the attention they were under. "Logan loves yah boo, I've seen da way he looks at yah. Pretty much the way he's lookin' at yah right now", Original Cindy said nodding her head in the direction of his office. Max spun round on the seat to see Logan looking straight back at her.
"He doesn't want someone as messed up as me. He deserves better", she could see Logan with an uneasy smile on his face, she looked away to not see the pain she had caused.
"Stop saying that boo, you're givin' Original Cindy a headache. When you weren't around I got first hand view of how much he was broken up. After a few days an' no word from yah, I was worried so I tried phonin' yah boy here. After like the fifth message I left, I decided to come 'round an' do some investigating of my own. I found him sittin' in this exact chair lookin' out the window. You should've seen him; it was like nothin' was worth anythin' anymore. Me and Bling went through hell tryin' to get something down his throat to survive…well except for the booze he was chuggin' back…" Original Cindy could see the tears threatening to escape Max's eyes but decided to continue anyway. "…It's like he gave up. Now tell me again he don't want and care for your ass."
After hearing what Logan had gone through because of her it only confirmed it even more in her head that she was no good for him, all she does is get people hurt. "While I was in Manticore that's all I thought about, being with Logan. But why would he want me." Max diverted her eyes looking down at her hands, the scars present bringing everything back.
"My girl's finally come to the real, that she loves her man. 'S 'bout time an' all. I know it's terrible what happened back at Manticore. But Logan loves you, he wants to help, let him in. I know it's a scary concept to trust someone but he won't judge you, he knows it's not your fault, he's worried for yah tha's all. The boy's smitten with yah. I saw it whenever I came round, He thought 'bout you everyday boo. An' for a guy he ain't half bad, if I was inclined to go straight you'd have a fight on yah hands". From that last remark she was able to get a slight chuckle out of Max.
"I'll be surprised if he ever wanted to look at me again after he finds out what I've done", Max choked. Original Cindy's curiosity was piqued but she knew Max would tell her what had happened if she wanted to.
Max sat there thinking about what her friend was saying, it was all true he's shown it so many times. I just didn't see it, I didn't want to see what was happening between us 'cos of what would come attached to that. If I got caught up in the emotions I could've got him hurt. Then she realised it was too late it had already happened, she couldn't not have feelings for him, they were already there. "We kinda already kissed", Max whispered hoping OC would have heard her the first time so she didn't have to repeat it.
Before OC could respond she noticed Logan coming over so she decided to let it lie, for now anyway.
Realising he had shopping to do he wheeled himself into the living room as two sets of eyes came up to look at him. Whilst Max was not around he had failed to keep his cupboards stocked up with food. Now that she was back he wanted to create a culinary miracle she would enjoy.
As he stopped and looked ahead, everyone was waiting to hear what he had come over for. "Umm…I was gonna go out. Got some shopping to do", his attention was completely on Max now, "Will you be ok? Is there anything you want?" Max was so mesmerised by the concern and love etched in his eyes and voice it took her a while to form any type of an answer.
Her mouth was open but before the words made it past her lips OC butted in. "Course she's gonna be good, she's got me to have her back". Max looked from Original Cindy to Logan and back again as they all burst out laughing. Logan saw the smile that could light up any room and was now finding it hard to leave, his hands motionless on the wheels.
"I'm good Logan you go do what you have to, but hurry back I've missed you too long", Max said turning a light shade of pink in the cheeks. Logan shot her a dazzling smile then back off towards the bedroom to put the exo-skeleton on.
"Okay where were we...? Oh yeah, you kissed?" OC shrieked in answer to her own rhetorical question.
Max's face was now turning a deep crimson. She was never the girly girl to kiss and tell. From the lack of a response Original Cindy took it as a 'yes'. "Spill immediately", she demanded. The topic they were suppose to be discussing was soon forgotten, and they were back to there comfortable chatter which manly consisted of Max's relationship with Logan and how OC always insisted that they were an item even if they didn't see it themselves.
Max gave in, realising after all the years she'd known OC that she wouldn't give up. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything…No detail left out. I need to catch the gossip when I can, my life ain't all that interesting".
Max smiled at Cindy's explanation of her life and how dull she made it seem. "Well you know when I went into heat and ended up cancelling our date and going off with the pizza delivery guy instead", OC was bobbing her head up and down in response. Max thought this was the quietest she had ever experienced her friend being. "Well, the next night I came over and told Logan everything, he didn't hold any of it against me though. Actually the opposite…" Max was silenced in thought everything finally making sense, it was true Logan loved her.
"And?" Original Cindy prompted.
"We kissed, on the floor when the exo short circuited…" Max may have been there in person but her thoughts were elsewhere. She had been so blind all this time, and for what, Logan still got hurt in the long run. Then Max's thoughts went to what had stopped them from taking anything further and she didn't even realise the tears streaming down her face. Also the fact OC had pulled her closer and was stroking her hand through her hair.
"What is it boo?"
Max didn't even know she was speaking until she heard her own voice come back to her. "Zack…he…he", she could no longer say the words she was choking on, there was a lump in her throat stopping her from speaking. Images ran through her head of Zack strapped to a table, why, he couldn't have moved if he had wanted to. Then Director Renfro had explained to her what had happened, that her brother had taken his own life so she could survive. If you could call being tortured non-stop in that place surviving. But then if he hadn't made that sacrifice she would never have seen Logan again. His gorgeous smile that magnetized her to his every word, the stubble she could still feel against her chin as she kissed him on the floor the night of their anniversary. Those crystalline blue eyes that everyone saw but only she really knew. She hurt so much physically from the pain in her heart and her body, but even more so she was glad she was back, with Logan.
"He saved me OC". Max finished.
The next hour or so had been taken up by Original Cindy telling the latest endeavours of Sketchy, which consisted of him, his bike, a hot chick and a puddle to say the least not only made up of dirty rain water. It ended with Normal not allowing him to go home to change and everyone in Jam Pony avoiding him like the plague. Max was laughing so hard her whole body ached even more than it already did. She was now asleep, the pills and the lack of sleep catching up with her.
Arms filled with goodies, Logan returned from his shopping expedition, to be welcomed by an eerie silence. Immediately thinking something had happened to Max, he dumped the bags on the work station in the kitchen and rushed to the living room. He was incredibly relieved to see Max had only fallen asleep and Original Cindy was sitting with her waiting for his return. Max's body was stretched out on the couch with her head on OC's lap.
"It's 'bout time boo, I'm late for work, I'll be lucky if Normal don't fire my ass." Original Cindy spoke with a hushed voice as she moved Max's head off her lap and propped it back on the arm of the chair. Max muttered something in her sleep before rolling over to face the back of the chair.
OC and Logan both looked at her to see if she was going to wake up or stay submerged in sleep. After no further movement from Max, Cindy walked over to meet Logan in the doorway. "She didn't tell me what happened, but she needs you. Now more than ever. She may not know it or admit to it but it doesn't make it any less true. She's not as strong as she thinks she is".
Logan looked at the woman on his couch that had so much life experience, but when she was asleep looked too young to even know about the things she had gone through. "Did she say anything about going home later?" he asked not really wanting to know the answer if it was a 'yes'.
"No…" relief flooded over him, "I think its best if she stays here for now, I've got some things I need to sort out. It's best if she's not alone".
Logan just nodded his head, deep down overjoyed that he didn't have to be parted with her just yet.
"Anyway I better go before I have no job to go back to", she stepped past Logan and opened the door ready to leave. "Remember what I said, you take care of my girl, you hear me?" She didn't wait for an answer; instead the only sound was the door clicking back into place.
0-0-0-0-0-0
Max sat on the cot in her cell, contemplating what she could do now she was in this terrible situation. The door opened to her room and an X5 entered standing in her way to prevent any attempt at escaping, when the door closed, clicking into position. "Oh great, what's gonna happen to me now?" Max asked herself more than anyone else.
The young man started to approach her not even making eye contact with his subject. "What did they send you in here for?" Max asked when her answer was becoming way too real. He was starting to un-do his belt. At first Max thought it might be for a weapon but it was much worse. Max stood up ready to fight, her hands in position to defend herself.
The soldier reached out pushing her back with great force so she was sitting on the bed yet again looked up at her attacker. He grabbed her wrists in an attempt to pin her down but she started moving beneath him kicking her legs and making it hard for him to do anything. "Get the hell off me", Max shouted, her strength was weak she had been pumped with drugs and beaten on a daily basis.
"Shut up bitch, this will be a lot easier if you don't move", the soldier spoke for the first time since entering her cell. Max was taken off guard as the back of his hand made a connection with the side of her face. She could taste the bitter tang of her own blood in her mouth. She felt dizzy but this was no time to think about that, she needed to fight back. She tried to move her hands from their position above her head when she realised that they were tied in place by the leather of the X5's belt.
He was now standing above her looking down at the person he classed as filth. "Does it make you feel proud to have drawn this assignment? Make you feel like a man?" Max spat emphasizing the last word with a venomous taste. Since returning Manticore hadn't bothered to help her with her seizures, even though they now had the technology as Lydecker had told her. They didn't think she deserved any special treatment. Instead they had run tests on her, finding something they liked. Something Renfro wanted to experiment with, she had told her that they knew it was in one of the X5's that escaped but not which one. That was the reason for the death of Tinga, the experiments they conducted were too much for her. Max had been sent back to her cell and on numerous accounts other male soldiers had been assigned to copulate with the prisoner resulting in a great deal of fighting and them leaving with their tail between their legs. Now it seemed Renfro had instructed force, and this is where Max was now.
"I said shut up", he kicked her in the side as the sound of ribs cracking echoed through the room.
Max pushed the pain aside gritting her teeth together.
He wasn't touching her in any sexual way, it was just a task to him, a mission to complete. His knees pinned her down, forcing pressure on her flesh that would most defiantly leave a mark she would never be allowed to forget.
Logan could hear Max's cries in the next room. He moved as fast as he possibly could without toppling over and gently glided to a halt beside the couch were Max was thrashing around, kicking and waving her arms about. He slammed his brakes on as she continued to scream, "No!" followed by something that sounded like "I won't let you take me!" Logan felt worse than at any other time in his life, seeing his Max go through this pain and knowing there was nothing he could do about it.
He gently took hold of Max's shoulders repeating her name over and over. "It's okay Max, It's only a dream, please wake up baby", Logan pleaded running his hands through her hair and down the side of her face. Logan could see movement under Max's eyelids, fluttering caused by her dreaming.
After a short period of time Max opened her eyes looking straight into Logan's. She bore the same expression as a deer caught in headlights. Logan could see a mixture of emotions buried deep in those eyes. He saw sorrow, fear, hate, sadness, pain; this simple act of looking someone in the eyes was tearing him up inside. All the feelings he had kept hidden before Max was dragged back to Manticore were evident, even to a complete stranger. He couldn't deny what he felt for this woman. Max was something unique and everyday he was grateful for that one moment a year ago when she had broken into his place, to rob him of his belongings and his heart.
"You had your hair cut". Max reached out to touch the newly shaped spikes. Whatever had just happened in her dream was forgotten.
"Yeah, thought it was getting a bit out of hand. Barber nearly had a heart attack when he saw me show up after so long". Max chuckled, remembering OC's words.
A/N: Please let me know what you thought, especially of the OC bit cause I wasn't so sure on that myself.What didyou think ofMax' memeory, wasI too harsh? If so I'm sorry!What do you think of the plot so far? Do you have any questions? I'll be happy to answer just let me know, I live for reviews, writing them and receiving them:)