Chapter 7

"Dead!" Nooj asked. "That's shocking!"

"Uh... Nooj," Tidus said. "You were there."

(Two intelligent sentences in like, 20 minutes!)

"Oh. Right. Not so shocking anymore..."

"I need to take a seat!" Braska exclaimed suddenly.

Braska fell over onto the log behind him. He was very taken aback.

"Alright, boys!" Tidus exclaimed. "We are officially dealing with a samsquanch here!"

The clearing was silent.

Finally, Nooj said, "Tidus, it's Sasquatch."

"I doubt it's a Sasquatch... Oh, no. It's something far worse," Auron said (gruffly)

"How do you know?" spat Wakka..

Auron looked at Wakka and said, "Well, mon, he was hung from a tree and disembowelled."

"And he ate our s'mores!" Tidus shouted.

A great murmur arose.

"Our s'mores! That dirty little bastard!" Braska screeched.

"CALM DOWN!" Auron thundered. Everyone fell silent. "We need to think this through logically."

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS!" screamed Braska.

He turned around and dove in the last standing tent. (With of course, his signature monkey screech.)

Braska zipped the tent shut and hurriedly began to sift through his bookbag which was left untouched. He pulled items out and threw them around, still hearing the rest of the camper's talking outside.

Braska feared for his life, and was searching for a picture of his wife and daughter, whom he loved dearly. He wanted only to see them for one last time. Digging through his bag, he found something he'd never seen before. He pulled it out of the bag delicately. It was a ventriloquist's puppet. And it looked exactly like him!

His wife, he decided, must have bought it for him. How awe-sum! He held the puppet close to him and a tear ran down his face. He put the puppet on his hand and smiled.

"I think I'll call you Conkly."

The creature spooned through his bowl of Alphagettis, searching for any human shaped ones. He picked up the can.

"Spong...E...Bob?"

There were no humans! Only a group of marine critters, and a squirrel in some sort of dive suit! What sort of sick, demented planet was this?

The creature threw his spoon down. He would get life-sized human noodles soon...

Except they weren't really noodles. They were people... But in a metaphorical sense, they were noodles...

Dun dun dun dun.

The camper's trudged along a trail Jecht was beating ahead of them. Soon they came to a large hill.

"Well, I think you boys should wait down here while us camp leaders check out the area from up top that hill," Jecht said, clapping his hands together. "What about you two?" he asked the others.

"I'm in," Auron said.

Everyone looked at Braska.

"I don't know, boys..." he said. "I'll ask Conkly."

"Conkly?" Auron asked. "Who the hell is that?"

Suddenly Braska pulled up a puppet that looked freakishly like him.

"What do you think, Conkly?"

"I don't know, Braska," Conkly said. "I think it would be fun to go on an adventure with-" he looked at Jecht. "Jecht and-" Braska's hand moved so Conkly was mere inches away from Auron's face, and said menacingly, "...Auron."

Auron's immediately pointed his index finger at Conkly, shaking it in warning.

"Conkly, I'm telling you right now! Don't get fucking started with me! You understand that?"

Conkly laughed and the three leaders and one puppet began to trudge up the hill.

"All right," Jecht said once they reached the top of the hill. "Let's get our bearings and figure out where the hell we are."

Auron rolled his eyes. "They're the same thing. Idiot!"

"Whatever."

The three leaders stared at the forest in front of them for about five minutes. "Drat!" Braska finally said, cursing. "This forest ends in an ocean!"

The leaders sighed and began to head back down the hill.

"Wait a minute!" Jecht exclaimed, pointing wildly. "What about this side of the hill?"

Auron and Braska turned their heads to where Jecht was pointing, the side of the hill they hadn't looked at. All three leaders sighed as they looked.

"Oh... I only see the End of the World," Braska groaned.

"Yeah, this sucks."

When they reached the bottom of the hill, the leaders were bombed with questions.

"Which way to we go!"- "Is there a city nearby?"- "Are we going to die?"- "What about our smores!"- "I need spare pants. Mine are wet."

"Um... There's a city... This way!" Jecht fibbed.

And so, led by a stupid lie, the campers headed off, to unknown destinations...