Ezekiel
Disclaimer: Do not own Buffy or, in this case, any of the music.
Ezekiel groaned to himself as he walked around the lot that Sunday afternoon. He had been saving up for years inside the Vatican to buy a car once he was sent out. He ended up spending a fair amount of it on his daggers and wood to whittle his stakes. Now, he had managed to procure enough money to buy a good vehicle through all the pickings he got off of the vampires he killed, along with selling some of his welded knives and swords at market, and he intended to spend it well.
"So," asked Edana who was with him to help pick out a car, "What kind of car were you hoping to buy?"
"Not sure," said Ezekiel as the two continued to look at cars, "I was going for something black with either plenty of room for weapons or with great speed."
"I'd go with a van," suggested Edana, "It's nice and roomy!"
"And what kind of activities would we be doing that require room, Edana?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
"…Sword fighting."
"Right!"
"Yeah. So, you're bi, huh? And how long has that been going on?"
"For a while," said Edana with a grin, "I figured it out in LA. I walked into a strip club for bisexuals and…I liked it, so, I went out on dates with guys and girls and I decided that I like them both."
"Makes for good scenery."
"Get your mind out the gutter, Zeke. We may flirt, but we all know that the odds of us actually hooking up are all but moot. We're too good of friends."
"Still, if you ever hook up with a hot bi girl-"
"I'll see if I can arrange a threesome. You know, for a Catholic, you seem fairly open to sinful acts."
"I believe there is a God and Christ rose and all that, but, I believe that since I kill all these creatures so that so many people can live on, I can afford a little sin. Plus, I truly don't care."
"Eh, I'm in the same boat. I'm just like you. I believe in all that, though I am a Lutheran."
"I'm not in the mood for any religious talks. I just want a car. How about a van?"
"Van seems good."
Ezekiel looked around and noticed a beautiful, blue-black van near the road. He walked over and took a look at the work.
"It looks like it would do," said Ezekiel, "It's got hard doors, looks like it's roomy enough inside to hold a few things. I could outfit it with bulletproof plates and paint a few crosses on it."
Ezekiel looked up as he heard a helicopter fly overhead. He and Edana followed the chopper with their eyes and saw it land on the large office building across the street.
"Wolfram and Hart, Attorneys at Law," read Edana, "They have another firm in LA."
She took another look at the law firm and wondered what it would be like to work inside such an elegant place and have all that power. She turned her attention to Ezekiel, and saw that his face held a frown.
"What," she asked.
"That name," he said, "Wolfram and Hart. It rings a bell somewhere in my brain."
"I wonder how many law firms are that large," said Edana, "The one in LA was huge. I went inside once, on a dare. All the people in there were just amazing. They were all in suits and had fancy jewelry and cool cars. I don't think there are any other private law firms that can hand out that kind of a salary to their regulars, especially when they're international."
"There are two large law firms in Paradise," said Ezekiel, "And every time they meet, from what I hear from the vampires, it's like a war."
"Wolfram and Hart is this one," said Edana, "Who's the other firm?"
"…Lambert and Gabriel."
Detective Daniel Cohen walked into his office that Monday morning, fully expecting to see his new partner ready to work. Then, he reminded himself that this was Paradise. Nothing worked well, or at all. He sighed to himself and tossed his briefcase against the wall. His mind instantly went to this weekend when he had told his fiancée about all the money he had won in the pool, and all of it was going to the wedding. Unlike other couples, they both knew that she'd end up planning it fully, so they agreed that he'd work hard at his job while she planned the wedding with her family. The odds were that she'd complain that he's not helping anyway, but…that's life.
He sighed to himself once more as thoughts of sitting in front of around seventeen portfolios with his fiancée, his mother, and future mother in-law around him, talking to him at once. He shuddered at the thought. He sighed again and walked outside his office to grab some coffee, then went back and grabbed a file. As he opened it up and began to see what havoc was going on in Paradise today, he heard a large commotion from outside. Mainly, wolf whistles and awed speech. Groaning to himself, wondering what this was all about, he stood up and walked outside the office and immediately forgot he was engaged.
Walking through the office, like a tornado, was a tall girl with black hair and red streaks, dressed in a short, blue skirt with a black button-up shirt which had the first two buttons loose, revealing her black satin bra, along with black leather boots that reached up along the shins to complete the look. She had on eyeliner, not enough to make her look ugly, but enough to give her a semi-gothic look, along with red lipstick making it look like she had just drank blood. The look was finished off by a pair of dark sunglasses, and her skin which was paler than any vampire he had ever seen. If it weren't for the fact that it was daylight, he'd swear to God she was a vampire.
"Hi, there," she said in a Southern drawl, "I'm looking for Daniel Cohen."
Daniel attempted to speak, but he felt all the moisture in his mouth get sucked away. Instead of vocalizing, he raised his hand in a pathetic fashion. Dear God, he thought to himself as he watched her hips sway exotically as she walked over to him, I don't know whether you hate me or love me, but, as of right now, I am going to church!
"Detective Daniel Cohen," asked the beauty as she walked up in front of him.
"Y-yes," he said absent mindedly.
"My name is Pam MaClay," said the beauty as she extended her hand to him, "I'm your new partner."
"Uh, yes," said Daniel as he resisted the urge to look down her shirt, "Um, Captain Poe never told me about who it was coming. Um, would you step into my office?"
She smiled at him, and his heart melted as she did so. He stepped aside to allow her to go inside first. As he did so, he attempted to resist the urge to stare at her wonderful ass. He sighed to himself, reminding himself that he was engaged as he did so, and walked to his office, ignoring the cheers and jeers of his fellow police officers and detectives all the while.
"So," said Daniel as he closed the door, "Have a seat, Ms MaClay."
"Thank you," said Pam as she sat down.
"Now," said Daniel as he too sat down behind his desk, "Ms MaClay-"
"It's Detective now," said Pam with a smile, "And please, call me Pam."
"Alright…Pam," said Daniel with a grin, "I suppose you were…debriefed on what kind of events we may have to face here in Paradise?"
"I was," said Pam, "Plus, my mom was a witch."
"A witch," asked Daniel, "As in, broomstick, potions, and crystal balls."
"The very same," said Pam with a smile, "Though, she didn't use a broomstick."
"…She's…"
"Yeah," said Pam, "It's ok. I'm over it but, I don't think my sister is. She and Tara were real close."
"Well," said an uncomfortable Daniel, "Why did you decide to become a Detective?"
"I grew up watching shows like Law and Order and Miami Vice. I loved them and I knew that I wanted to be out there, doing what they did."
"…You are aware that, as Detectives, we have very little ability to do what those people did in TV shows. If you want to have adventures and all that, you might want to rethink coming to Paradise."
"That's why I came. Paradise is one of the most infamous places for demonic entities to migrate to, along with LA and Sunnydale. I know that police are supposed to keep the demons quiet to the public, but, that doesn't mean we can't solve demonic cases."
"Well, I wish I could agree. Things looked hopeful when Wilks died, but, with Mancuso being recommended, the odds are against us actually being able to do anything about it."
"Even so, we can still help out those demon hunters."
"…I suppose so."
Ezekiel drove his new van down the street Monday night. He was treating both Edana and Adil to a drink at Surge, and then they were going to go and see if they could find a party. He turned down the street and into a small subdivision just a few miles outside of Paradise, about twenty minutes from his apartment. He looked along the doors for the address that Edana said was hers and when he saw it, he pulled up alongside the curb and honked the horn.
The house was your average green two story building with a small garage and the front yard was littered with beer cans and bottles.
"Reminds me of my apartment," said Ezekiel.
He looked up as he heard the front door open and saw Edana walked outside, in her usual leather-fur garb with blonde hair. She smiled at him as she climbed inside and sat down in the passenger seat.
"Hey," she said, "Adil called and told me to tell you that he'd meet us there."
"Cool," said Ezekiel as he turned the van around and headed back to the city.
Adil walked into Surge and took a quick look around. The club was filled tonight with both demons and humans, some of whom were definitely vampires. There was also a band setting up on the stage. Adil began to wonder who this band was that they got such a huge crowd. He walked over to the bar and sat down.
"Hey, Adil," said Angus as he came over, "Usual?"
"Along with some info," said Adil, "What's up with the crowd tonight?"
"The band," said Angus with a smile.
"Who's the band," asked Adil.
"It's not exactly the band that drew them here, though they're good," said Angus as he grabbed a Sam Adams and a glass and handed them to Adil, "What's drawing the crowd is the lead singer."
"Who's the lead singer," asked Adil.
"The guy with the blue guitar," said Angus, pointing in the direction.
Adil turned around to see who Angus was indicating. Standing on the stage, talking to the drummer, was a tall man with absolutely no hair on his pale head. He was dressed in satin blue pants and an equally blue shirt, along with a black leather jacket with no sleeves. He had four earrings on each ear and was wearing small, circular sunglasses with blue shadings.
"Who is he," asked Adil.
"His name's Bob Kard," said Angus, "And the band is called Bob and the Kards."
"What's so special about him," asked Adil.
"Well-oh, wait. They're starting," said Angus as the lights began to dim.
"Hi, everyone," said Bob Card in a voice that reminded Adil of Jersey when he vacationed in New York, "We're gonna start off here tonight with a rendition of I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band by the Moody Blues. Then, we'll get into the impromptu bit from our audience and continue on with a few of our trademarked songs, followed by a few more bits from the audience."
Bob turned back to his band and signaled for them to start. Adil sat back in his chair and listened to them.
♫
I'm just a wandering on the face of this earth
Meeting so many people
Who are trying to be free
And while I'm traveling, I hear so many words
Language barriers broken
Now we've found the key
And if you want the wind of change
To blow about you
And you're the only other person to know, don't tell me
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.
♫
A thousand pictures can be drawn from one word
Only who is the artist
We gotta agree
A thousand miles can lead so many ways
Just to know who is driving
What a help it would be
So if you want this world of yours
To turn about you
And you can see exactly what to do
Please tell me
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.
♫
How can we understand
Riots by the people for the people
Who are only destroying themselves
And when you see a frightened
Person who is frightened by the
People who are scorching this earth.
Scorching this earth.
♫
I'm just a wandering on the face of this earth
Meeting so many people
Who are trying to be free
And while I'm traveling, I hear so many words
Language barriers broken
Now we've found the key
And if you want the wind of change
To blow about you
And you're the only other person to know, don't tell me
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band.
How can we understand
Riots by the people for the people
Who are only destroying themselves
And when you see a frightened
Person who is frightened by the
People who are scorching this earth.
Scorching this earth.
♫
Music is the traveler crossing our world
Meeting so many people bridging the seas
(I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band
I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band).
Music is the traveler crossing our world
Meeting so many people bridging the seas
(I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band)
We're just the singers in a rock and roll band.
♫
Ezekiel and Edana walked into Surge around ten minutes after the first performance. During that time, the crowd had swelled to at least twice its original size. The two teenagers looked around the bar and noticed their friend waving at them. They shared a look.
"Why don't you start a fire so we can get through them, eh," asked Ezekiel as he surveyed the crowd.
"Nah," said the mage with a smile, "I might get sued."
"What's this world come to when you can't burn someone and not get a lawsuit?"
"Who knows?"
Ezekiel grinned to himself, then slowly made his way over to Adil, Edana right behind him as he did so. Once he made it to the bar, two drinks were there waiting for them.
"You know, it amazes me that they never ask for ID," said the Warrior of God as he took his drink.
"Zeke, I hate to break it to you, but…it's got nothing to do with your charm," said Adil with a smile.
"Are you calling me thoughtless, callous, and rude?"
"…Yes," said both his friends with a completely serious look.
"…It's fair," said Ezekiel as he downed his drink in one gulp, "So, who's the band?"
"Bob and the Kards," answered Adil, "They are good, man. They just got through with their first song, and now they're doing readings from the crowd."
"Readings," asked Edana as she tossed some of her blond hair behind her shoulder.
"Yeah," said Adil, "Apparently, the lead singer, Bob, has the ability to see the most monumental events that will happen inside of a person's life by listening to them play an instrument. It's friggin' amazing, man."
"Cool," said the mage, "How does he do it, though?"
"Says it's a gift," answered Angus for her as he refilled their drinks, "It's some kind of a trade secret."
"Huh," said the Warrior of God as he drank his new drink, "I think I'm going to go and see what occasion I need to be prepared for."
"That's a good idea," said Angus with a grin, "Means less work for me."
"Actually, it could be more work for you," said Adil as he grinned at the snitch.
"…I hope not," said Angus.
"Ooh, he's free right now," said Edana, "If you hurry, you can get a performance in."
"And he has a piano," said Adil as he pointed it out to them, "You can play that, can't you?"
"Hopefully," said Ezekiel as he stood up, "Those Vatican musicians are pretty good."
Ezekiel walked through the crowd and came up to the stage. There sat a tall man dressed in blue, tuning his blue guitar as he did so. He looked up as he heard Ezekiel coming his way, and smiled once he saw who it was.
"Well," he said in a Jersey accent, "Ezekiel, Warrior of God. What are you doing in Paradise?"
"…How do you know who I am," asked the hunter as his paranoia rose rapidly.
"Well," said Bob as he finished tuning his guitar, "I was brought to the Vatican to give you a reading."
"What," asked Ezekiel in shock.
"Yeah, it's true," said the singer/guitarist, "Around…seven years ago, I think, I got a special invite from some Archbishop to read around…twelve of their students within the city who were being trained to hunt and kill demons. When I got there, my first instinct was to try and get you boyos out of there, but, they explained to me why they were so tough on you.
"Anyway, I had each of you play an instrument, and I read your futures. Well, eleven of you were destined to die young if you didn't do something, but you…"
"What did you see," asked the irritated man as he wondered what could make the song artist begin to sweat.
"I saw you coming to a small town," said Bob, "Some place called Sunnydale. Then, it was like, things backtracked and suddenly, you were in a huge city. I saw you wielding a sword made of blood, and then I saw you firing a rifle. It was like, one vision was reality, while the other was what was meant."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that you weren't exactly meant to be a hunter, you schmuck! You were meant for something different, I'm guessing something involving the Army or Marines. Or maybe you were just meant to be some guy dressed in camou garb with a rifle. I don't know what it was, but you were originally meant for something different. As of right now, your destiny is out of whack and the boys upstairs are trying to find ways of fixing it."
"…OK," said the Warrior, "So, basically, the…Powers That Be, let's call them, are screwing with my life, throwing everything they can at me, just to fix the mess that was made by my parent's death."
"Yeah."
"…Why couldn't they just let them live?"
"I got no clue. All I know is what I've seen. So, onto new business, I'm guessing you want a reading?"
"Yeah."
"What do you play?"
"The piano."
"…Alright, I want you to get up there and I'll hand you the music for you to play. And you'll have to sing."
"Ugh, I don't know-"
"You face unholy terrors at night," interrupted Bob with a dismissing shake of his head, "You can deal with a little singing. And, who knows, you might be pretty good."
"…Alright," agreed a mad Ezekiel, "What song will I sing?"
"You'll see it soon enough," said Bob with a smile, "Ugh, Jerry!"
"Yeah," called the band's drummer as he walked over to Bob, "What's up?"
"What's that song you showed me earlier," asked Bob as Ezekiel sat down at the piano.
"Which one," asked Jerry.
"The western one, Desperation or something like that."
"Oh, I know which one you mean. Yeah, alright. It's right up here. Hey, guys, get out that music I gave y'all this morning."
Jerry walked up to his drums and got out a sheet of music. He walked over to Ezekiel and handed it to him, then went back to his drums.
"Alright, everybody," said Bob as he spoke to the crowd through the microphone, "We've got Ezekiel and he's going to play Desperado by The Eagles for us, along with being our lead singer. Now, it's his first time singing, so don't be too hard on him."
Bob turned back to Ezekiel and nodded for him to start.
♫
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
But, I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow
♪
Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
♪
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom, well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?
♪
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
(Let somebody love you)
♪
You better let somebody love you
before it's too late
♫♪♫
"So, how'd I do," asked the Warrior as he walked over to the guitarist.
"Well," said the pale man called Bob, "You sing good, or well, actually. You need to work on it."
"…So, what'd you see," asked Ezekiel as his patience began to run out.
"…Well, you're going to be getting a gift very soon, my friend. I'd be on the lookout for a little white witch. She'll be bringing you allies and enemies, but she will bemost important to those who wish."
"You're not big on the cryptic, are you?"
"Less than some, more than others, my friend. However, there are two pieces of information that you must definitely know: the little one will be bringing with her a very powerful book called the Pergamum-"
"-Codex," finished Ezekiel in an awed voice, "She has the Pergamum Codex with her?"
"Yes," said Bob, "You know of it?"
"Of course I do. According to Vatican records, it was lost in the 15th century. It was said to have the most complete Slayer prophecies written by prophets and contains her role during the End of Days, and in the years before."
"Those monks and priests taught you well, boyo," said Bob with a smile, "However, the Codex is within the possession of this witch. She will come to you, and through her, you shall gain many new allies and many new enemies, and she shall come very soon."
"What's the other thing you should tell me," asked the 'boyo.'
"After you receive the Codex," continued Bob, "You'll be getting a visitor…one of the do-gooders from the Hellmouth. He's unique, my friend. One of a kind. One form of life so rare that none have ever been in existence before."
"What," asked Ezekiel in mock excitement, "A vampire with a soul!"
"Oddly enough, yes," said Bob dryly.
"…What," asked Ezekiel in amazement.
"There's a vampire in Sunnydale that has a soul," explained Bob, "I don't know much about him, but I do know that his soulless version is one of the most feared vampires in the known world."
"That narrows the list," said Ezekiel as his mind listed off the Master Vamps that might qualify, "I think of either Angelus or Kakistos. How long have they had a soul?"
"He's had a soul for nearly a hundred years," said Bob, "That much I can tell from rumors."
"It's Angelus then," said Ezekiel with a frown, "He hasn't hunted humans for nearly that long, at least according to Vatican research."
"You really are well read," said Bob, "It's good to know that at least one demon hunter is aware of what's going on and not just firing at things."
"Nice to be appreciated," said Ezekiel, "So, he's going to come for the book. Who is he coming for?"
"The good guys," said Bob, "I told you already."
"Right, right," said Ezekiel, "Any idea who these enemies and allies will be?"
"You'll find out," said Bob in a tone that said the reading was over.
"Fine," said Ezekiel, "Anything else before I go?"
"Just one thing," said Bob, "Stay away from Sunnydale."
"What?"
"You heard me. DO NOT go to the Hellmouth."
"Why?"
"You don't need to know. Now, your friends are waiting for you."
Ezekiel sighed to himself, knowing that he wasn't getting anything more out of the strange man. He turned around and walked back through the crowd. Bob watched him as he went away, then turned to his band.
"Why'd you do that," asked Marcus, a Bracken demon, "You and I both know that now he'll just do it anyway."
"Yes," said Bob with a scowl, "I know."
"So, what was the point," asked Marcus once more.
"The 'Powers That Be'" said Bob, using the Warrior of God's nickname for the forces of Heaven, "May have the best of intentions for the world, but they also wish to have power as well. They want to take advantage of this change and make the world…well, different. More different than it already will be. Already is. Worse. It'll make the End of Days come sooner. The way that it'll turn out if Ezekiel does go to Sunnydale will delay the End of Days, but not by more than two years. That will make things better for everyone."
"So, you told him that so he'll inadvertently disobey the Powers," asked Marcus.
"He may be a Warrior of God," said Bob with a frown, "But, that doesn't make him fall underneath the angel's command as well. It's His will be done, not their will be done. If the Almighty wants for the Slayer to die, then she'll die. Nothing can be done about it. If He doesn't, then she'll be saved. I just insured that she'll be given the opportunity."
"Zeke looks pissed," said Adil as he and Edana watched their friend talk with Bob Kard, "Wonder what he's telling him."
"I don't know," said Angus as he too watched from the bar, "But, he ain't liking it."
"It must be something pretty heavy," said Edana, "He usually only looks that pissed when…he's never looked that pissed. Oh, he's coming."
Angus went back to work to avoid a potentially nasty situation while Ezekiel walked over to his two friends, his face a mask of barely controlled rage.
"Bad news," asked the elemental mage, feeling the need to get it over with.
"You can ride home with Adil, right," asked Ezekiel as he grabbed a bottle of Tequila from the bar, "I need to go out and get plastered."
"We can-" began Edana.
"Sure," interrupted Adil, "I can take her home. You go have some fun, man. We'll talk later."
"Great," said Ezekiel as he grabbed his jacket and walked out of Surge.
"What-" began Edana, but was once again cut off by Adil.
"Ezekiel is not a complex fellow when it comes to emotions," said the Yemen native, "All you basically have to know is when to avoid him. When he's that pissed off, you better run the other way. Trust me, he's one of the best friends you could ever hope for. He will lay down life and limb to save your life and the lives of others, and will kill to save said lives. The only truly bad thing that could be said about him is that he sleeps around, and considering the past he's had, it's somewhat understandable. But, when something makes him THAT mad, there is nothing in this world that can stand against him. If he wants to be alone, then get the Hell out of his way because you will anyway. Perhaps even in a body bag."
"…Have you ever had to deal with that temper," asked Edana.
"Not yet," answered Adil, "And I'm willing to pray to any God there is that I never do."
"Alright, everybody," said Bob Kard to the crowd inside the bar just then, "We're going to have to close up early tonight, folks. We're going to leave you with a little hit we made up last week."
With that, he turned to the band a motioned for things to get started. There was a howling, along with dark notes from the piano. It was followed by rock music.
(Read: Buffy Theme by Nerf Herder)
Ezekiel opened up one eye, then immediately closed it again as light poured into the pupil, or iris, or whatever the Hell you call the dark spot in the eye. He groaned as the light broke through his eyelids and sat up, his whole body shocked by a degree of hangoverness that he was accustomed to: any. Ordinarily, he would never get hung over unless…
Unless, of course, he was frustrated. That was when beer and liquor got to him, and, of course, that was when he turned to it the most. He was about to stand up and grab some more beer, however, the sudden stirring of the bed beside him sort of grabbed his attention.
"Great," he said to himself, "Now I have to deal with the consequences."
He sighed, then turned to his companion as she sat up, blinking away her sleep which was induced by drink. She had shoulder length blond hair and was currently without a stitch of clothing on. He looked down at himself, the image of her cleavage stuck within his brain as he did so. As he saw his body's natural reaction to such stimulates, he became convinced that some interesting things happened last night. And he'd be remembering them…
"Whoa," he said to himself as his face became red upon recounting the events, events which had just become part of what he'd dream of every night for perhaps the rest of his life.
"Oh, boy," said the blonde next to him.
He looked over at her, and she put her head down to avoid his gaze.
"Hey," he said as he cupped her chin and lifted her face up to face the Warrior's eyes, "Are you alright?"
"N-not really," said the girl.
"Why," asked Ezekiel; ordinarily, at least every time he could remember, when his wake up, they're content.
"I…just realized something," she said.
"What," asked the man.
"…I'm gay."
"…Eh," said Ezekiel as he stood up and pulled on his boxers, "So what? It was still good for me. Just out of curiosity, how was it for you?"
"Well…" said the girl as she began to search for her clothing, "It was good…when I imagined you were a girl."
"Again, solely out of curiosity," said Ezekiel as he grabbed a bottle full of stomach medicine and started to drop them into his mouth, "You fake it?"
"…T-that w-w-was when you were a g-g-girl," she stuttered.
"Eh," he said, "By the way…don't take this personal, but, ugh…I really can't remember what your name is."
"…Tara. Tara MaClay."