Disclaimer: This was written during a sugar high that left hundreds injured and thousands without chocolate or candy. I'm sure that you all heard about it on the news. BTW, we don't own Sweep. (not yet, at least)

[Scene: an outside café. The gang is eating lunch.]

MORGAN: I love food.
BREE: So do I.
ROBBIE: I love Bree.
RAVEN: So do I.
[horrified stares]
SKY: I feel so UNLOVED! [runs off, sobbing]
RAVEN: [after Sky] Wait! I love you more! Wait! Don't go in there!
Stop! [they hear crashes and yells]
JENNA: I like pudding.
MORGAN: Hey, Bree, we have PE tomorrow.
BREE: Damn. I hate PE.
HUNTER: I finally get a line!
KILLIAN: My line is bigger because I'm cool and you're a smarmy bloke
... that I hate!
HUNTER: Don't mess with me! I'm ... [ominously] a council member!
MIKE: [teleports in] I HATE THE COUNCIL!!! [blasts Hunter with dark
magick. Hunter is dead]
[Mike teleports out]
MORGAN: I see dead people!
JENNA: I like pudding.
KILLIAN: I'm Irish and I'm hot!
[Bree and Robbie look at each other and start to make out]
ALISA: Hi! I just showed up with no explanation whatsoever!
MORGAN: I can levitate things! [levitates a flower petal]
ALISA: AAAHHH! I'm scared! I hate you, Morgan!
[Sky and Raven come back with ripped clothes]
SKY: I'm back.
RAVEN: Of course you are, Ms. Points-Out-The-Obvious.
MORGAN: Were you two just –
SKY: No. I got hit by a car.
MORGAN: Oh, because what with the ripped clothes, I thought that –
ALL: We know, Morgan.
SKY: [to Raven] Let's go make out.
RAVEN: [pause] Okay. [they leave]
KILLIAN: Does this have a plot line?
HUNTER: No, not really. I think that it's a dreadfully awful thing.
MORGAN: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
HUNTER: What? Oh, yeah ... right ... [dies]
JENNA: I like –
MORGAN: Pudding?
JENNA: Well, that ... and fruitcake.
ROBBIE: I'm a fruitcake!
KILLIAN: I'm gone. [teleports out]
BREE: Let's bring Hunter back to life.
HUNTER: I'd like that.
ROBBIE: I guess you're alive again, huh?
HUNTER: Indubitably.
MORGAN: Let's make out!
HUNTER: Okay! [insert makeout session]
JENNA: I miss Matt!
ALISA: I don't like you, Morgan! I'm going to become a bitch!
MORGAN: No problems here. [calls Ciaran] Hey, Da, could you come here
for a moment?
CIARAN: Hello! What do you want, oh darling daughter of mine?
MORGAN: [whiney] Alisa hates me!
CIARAN: Okay. [kills Alisa with evil witch-fire]
MORGAN: [sweetly] Thank you, Daddy!
HUNTER: [flipping out] EVIL PERSON! I MUST SAVE MORGAN!
CIARAN: Fare thee well. [teleports out]
BREE: Who was that?
ROBBIE: Morgan's real dad.
BREE: Oh.
JENNA: Does anyone know where my dolphin earrings are?
ALL: No.
JENNA: [droops] Okay. [Raven and Sky come back as Alisa sits up]
ALISA: I'm alive!
RAVEN: [sarcastically] Oh, great.
SKY: Let's skip forward to tomorrow.
ALL: Okay.

[Scene: the next day at school. It's PE Time!!!]

MORGAN: I hate PE!
BREE: I think that PE should burn and die, consumed in the flames of a
thousand evils! Mwahahahahahaha!
MORGAN: That, too.
COACH JOHN: We are now going to start archery. Morgan, you're first.
[Morgan shoots the arrow, but it ricochets off of a tree and shoots
through a window of the school, hitting Alisa and killing her]
MORGAN: [stunned pause] ... oh, well.
BREE: Nice shot!
COACH JOHN: Next is ... HEY, YOU!!! COME BACK HERE WITH OUR EQUIPMENT!!!
[Lindsey is running off with the bow and arrows]
LINDSEY: Kiss my ass, Robin Hood! Mwahahahahahahaha – [runs into a
car. The car alarm goes off. Lindsey pauses. Shrugs. Keeps going]
hahahahaha! [continues psycho-maniac laughter until she teleports
away]
MORGAN: Where are they all coming from?
KRISTIN: [teleports in] Have you guys seen Lindsey?
BREE: Yeah, she was just here.
MORGAN: She took all of our archery stuff and ran away with it.
KRISTIN: Really?! Goddess, she promised me that she wouldn't do this
again after what happened last time! [teleports out]
MORGAN: Last time?
JENNA: I like pudding.
BREE: Aren't you supposed to be in class?
JENNA: I like fruitcake.
MORGAN: Okay ...
BREE: Let's skip to after school.
MORGAN: Okie-dokie!

[Scene: after school at Hunter's house.]

ETHAN: I'm in the story!
SHARON: I am, too! Yay!
HUNTER: So ...
SKY: So ...
[insert writer's block. More sugar is required]
[we're back! Yay!]
MORGAN: So ...
HUNTER: I have scones! [pulls out a plate of scones]
MATT: I'm in the story! And I have M&M's! [pulls out a bag of mini
M&M's]
LINDSEY: [teleports in] M&M'S! FOOD!!! MINE!!! [attacks Matt and takes
his M&M's]
MATT: [wounded with a black eye, nosebleed, and fractured wrist] My ...
[gasps] M&M's ... NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
LINDSEY: [insanely] THEY'RE MINE! ALL MINE! [evil laughter] Mwahahaha!
[teleports out]
BREE: She just likes to take what she wants, doesn't she?
ROBBIE: So it would seem.
RAVEN: Am I the only one noticing how crazy Hunter is? And not in a
good way.
SKY: He just likes scones.
HUNTER: [stuffing his face like Homer Simpson] Mmmmmm ... scones ...
MORGAN: I'm so ashamed.
MEXICAN CAT: I like chicken.
[nobody hears him]
MEXICAN CAT: [louder] I like chicken!
[he is unheard]
MEXICAN CAT: [really loud] I LIKE CHICKEN!!!
[at that, a tremor shakes the world and birds fly from the trees, some
of which fall over]
[the gang only notices the tremor]
ROBBIE: That was weird.
BREE: It felt like an earthquake.
MEXICAN CAT: Stupid humans.
MORGAN: This is boring. Let's skip ahead to tonight.
BREE: Okay.

[Scene: later that night. Morgan is asleep in bed. Let's see what
she's dreaming ...]

HUNTER: [in Morgan's dream] Follow the bunny rabbits, follow the bunny
rabbits, weeeee! La la la la la la ...
[Morgan wakes up]
MORGAN: [pause] Huh.

[Scene: the next day after school at Hunter's.]

MORGAN: Hey, Hunter, I had the weirdest dream about you last night.
[everyone comes out of their individual conversations to listen
intently]
HUNTER: Go ahead and tell us, my love! Dreams always mean something.
MORGAN: Okay. I had a dream that you were running through a field of
wildflowers singing "follow the bunny rabbits". [everyone looks at
Hunter]
HUNTER: [stunned pause] [whines] Who told you that? I didn't do that!
I ... um ... SKY!
SKY: [to Hunter, quietly] Hunter, I didn't say anything.
HUNTER: Oh ... well, then ... um ... [suddenly] Who wants some food? I'm
going to get food. From the kitchen! Yes! Food ... from the kitchen ...
food ... [runs into the kitchen]
LINDSEY: He's a loony ninny.
KRISTIN: [giggles] Loony ninny, loony ninny, loony ninny ...
BREE: Where did you two come from?
[Kristin and Lindsey exchange a look]
[silence ensues]
[the sugar is gone! Must find more!] [Yay! The sugar is found! Chocolate cookies and milk!]
LINDSEY: Maharani!
MIKE: What does that mean?
KRISTIN: [about to jump in with an explanation] Well, it's quite
simple. It's –
LINDSEY: Oh, would you look at that? I have to go ... categorize ... my ...
squirrels.
KRISTIN: That's not hard. There's just Bill and Jeff. In that order.
LINDSEY: Oh, no, there are many more.
KRISTIN: WHAT HAVEN'T YOU BEEN TELLING ME??? HOW MANY MORE???
LINDSEY: More than you think. [teleports out]
KRISTIN: Mike? Did you know about this?
MIKE: Um ... no? I didn't know, I swear! I didn't know a thing!
[whimpers] She's darkly scary now!
KRISTIN: [just shakes her head] [teleports out]
MIKE: Well ... I guess it's just me now. [pause] LET THE DARKNESS REIGN!
[begins to do a synchronized dance to "Toxic" by Britney Spears.
Everyone runs]
MIKE: [singing along] And I love what you're doing, don't you know
that you're toxic ... [stops] What? I'm a good dancer! [grabs a plate of
funnel cake and teleports out]
HUNTER: Malalalalalalalalalalalalalalala loooooooooo –
MORGAN: It's weird when you do that.
HUNTER: I know. [begins to sing] Somewhere over the rainbow, way up
high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby ...
RAVEN: Why don't you go visit it, Hunter? [she kicks his ass into next
week. Hunter arrives in the wonderful land of Oz]
HUNTER: Wow! This is my life's goal!
GLINDA THE GOOD: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
HUNTER: I'M A COUNCIL MEMBER! WHAT DO YOU THINK, LADY?
GLINDA THE GOOD: You will die for your insubordination. [kills him
with her twinkly little wand]
HUNTER: [wakes up and realizes that it was just a figment of his
imagination from his little trip to unconscious-land] Aww ...
MORGAN: Hunter! Are you okay?
HUNTER: [sobs] She killed me! Glinda killed me! I was always her
number-one fan and she KILLED me!
LINDSEY: Glinda's evil! Haven't you seen WICKED, the best Broadway
musical ever?
HUNTER: No.
LINDSEY: HAHA! I pity you. The Witch of the West is my homey!
SKY: She was hot in the movie.
[gets stares]
RAVEN: WHAT??? SHE WAS ALL OLD AND SHE HAD WARTS AND SHE WAS REALLY
GROSS!!!
SKY: Oh, sorry, I meant that Dorothy was hot.
RAVEN: Judy Garland?
SKY: Yes, that was her name.
RAVEN: [shrugs] Whatever floats your boat. [seductively] Maybe I
should dress up like her and see what kind of response I get.
SKY: Please don't let that be sarcasm.
HUNTER: [quickly to Lindsey] If the Witch of the West is your homey,
then you must be evil!
LINDSEY: [pause] So? Your point?
HUNTER: If you're evil, then I must strip you of your powers. It's
council protocol!
LINDSEY: You'll have to catch me first! [shape-shifts into a squirrel
and scampers away]
HUNTER: Hey! Shape-shifting is against council regulations!
MORGAN: But I shape-shifted.
HUNTER: You did?
MORGAN: YOU WERE THERE!!!
HUNTER: Oh, yeah! Now I remember! You can get off.
MORGAN: Okay.
[they all suddenly get transported into a game of THE SIMS, where all
die because Hunter foolishly attempts to make burgers on the grill]

[Scene: the normal world.]

MIKE: They're gone! Finally!
KRISTIN: What was that plan that you were talking about before? The
one to take over the world?
MIKE: Oh, yeah. [giggles] That's a good plan.
[Lindsey comes in on a flying horse, followed by hoards of flying
squirrels]
LINDSEY: Are you guys ready to take over the world now?
KRISTIN: Yeah.
MIKE: Sure.
[they go and take over the world]

FINIS