Disclaimer: Hmm ... what can be said about this latest edition of Sweep: The Random Parodies? It lives up to its name of 'random', that's for sure. It doesn't make any sense at all. Feel free to flame us for the weirdness; we don't really care. It was fun writing this. BTW, if you don't think we're insane after you read this, then there's something wrong with you.
[Scene: Morgan's bedroom. She is sitting on her bed, talking to herself.]
MORGAN: Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere! Bubbles, bubbles, in my hair! Hehehehe! [the doorbell rings] I must go hence! [she runs down and opens the door. Hunter is standing there]
HUNTER: My love! I have come for thee!
MORGAN: Yay! I love ice cream!
[runs to an ice cream truck that has just pulled up and comes back with two enormous Italian ices]
HUNTER: Thanks! I love these!
MORGAN: MINE! [runs to the kitchen and finishes the ices with inhuman speed]
HUNTER: [looks at the ceiling and sees a spot of paint that doesn't belong there] I see EVIL!!! [blasts a hole through Morgan's roof just as her parents get home]
MR. ROWLANDS: My roof!
MRS. ROWLANDS: Stay away from my Morgan, you evil demon-possessed devil worshipper!
MIKE: [teleports in] Who calls The Mike?
MRS. ROWLANDS: [screams]
MIKE: Jolly good! [teleports out]
MR. ROWLANDS: I shall destroy you, demon! [advances on Hunter with a bat]
HUNTER: [screams]
[Morgan shoots witch fire at the bat, disintegrating it and thus saving her weaker boyfriend]
MRS. ROWLANDS: She has been possessed! Quick, Sean and Mary K, to the bomb shelter! [they all run down to the basement]
MORGAN: [yelling after them] Yeah ... well ... I never liked you anyway!
HUNTER: [pause] I love you.
MORGAN: I love you, too.
[insert makeout session]
ROBBIE: [runs through the open front door] Morgan, your parents weren't kidding! There really is a bomb in your house!
HUNTER: Let us be off!
[all three run out the door as the house blows up. Hehe ... we like explosions]
MORGAN: [turns to Hunter] Can I stay at your house?
HUNTER: Of course, my love!
[they walk off, leaving an unconscious Robbie lying on the ground]
BREE: [running up to Robbie] Robbie! Robbie! Are you okay?
ROBBIE: [waking up] Peachy. Just peachy.
[pause]
[makeout session]
LINDSEY: [running up followed by two squirrels] [to the squirrels] Hurry or she'll catch up!
KRISTIN: [also coming out of nowhere] Come back here! You aren't supposed to throw bowling balls at passing cars! It's not good for your wrists!
[the two girls and two squirrels disappear as suddenly as they came]
BREE: [pause] Let's go get some lunch!
ROBBIE: Okay.
[as they start to go to Bree's car, they hear a scream and turn to see Alisa running up the street]
ALISA: THE MAGICK! IT SCARES ME!
[as she runs, Mike pops up out of nowhere]
MIKE: You annoying little freak! I shall sacrifice you to the goat lords of Bill Nye's science!
[he chases after Alisa]
ROBBIE: [pause] So are we going or not?
BREE: I have to find my keys.
[as they start to leave, a bowling ball crashes through the front windshield, hitting Robbie in the head]
ROBBIE: Blue-butted baboons ... [slumps over, unconscious]
BREE: How could you look at others?! You said I was the only one! I thought you loved me! [gets out of the car and runs off crying]
LINDSEY: [from nowhere] I win! Take that, Jeff!
KRISTIN: Lindsey!!!! [Lindsey teleports away, followed by Kristin]
[Scene: Morgan's makeshift bed at Hunter's house. She is dreaming ...]
DREAM BOY: Hi! I'm Stoon!
DREAM MORGAN: Who are you?
DREAM STOON: I'm Stoon. I rule over Stoon-Land. I'm the king of the Stoon Posse. Some call me Lord Stoon. My full name is Stoon Rune. Although most call me Stoon.
DREAM MORGAN: This is weird. So this is your kingdom? [looks out over the fields of happy bunnies and pigs]
DREAM STOON: Yep! Isn't it great? [checks his watch] Ack! I have to go! Jakers! The Adventures of Piggly-Wink is on! [runs off to watch a show about animated pigs]
DREAM MORGAN: Um ... okay. [wanders through the fields of happiness in Stoon-Land. Sees a guinea pig sitting in the middle of a field] Um, hi. What's your name?
GUINEA PIG: I am ... um ... well, they call me the Sow Pig.
DREAM MORGAN: Really? That's a cool name.
GUINEA PIG: Yes. But ... um ... most call me Blinky.
DREAM MORGAN: Awesome, girl! Rock on! [pause] I have no idea what I'm doing here. Stoon-Land is weird! I'm going somewhere else! [in the style of Spongebob Squarepants, she hops over into Hunter's dream]
DREAM HUNTER: [sitting in his dream, surrounded by stuffed animals at a tea party] Would you like some more tea, Mr. Bunny? Oh, you WOULD? Wonderful, because I made plenty! [pours Mr. Bunny some tea]
DREAM MORGAN: [pause] Okay ... [hops over into Sky's dream] [sees Dream Raven and Dream Killian making out] Aw, poor Sky is having a nightmare. [shoots witch fire at Dream Killian and kills him] [Dream Sky cheers] That's better. [hops over to Bree's dream]
DREAM TV ANNOUNCER: Congratulations, Bree Warren! You've just won a $1,000,000,000 gift certificate to The Gap!
DREAM BREE: [gasps and faints]
DREAM MORGAN: Typical Bree. [hops over to Robbie's dream]
DREAM TV ANNOUNCER: Congratulations, Robbie Gurevitch! You've just won a $1,000,000,000 gift certificate to The Las Vegas Strip Club!
DREAM BREE: [slaps Dream-Robbie]
DREAM MORGAN: Um ... okay ... [hops over to Raven's dream] [sees Dream Raven and Dream Sky making out] Geez, Raven, do you ever think about anything else?
DREAM RAVEN: Oh, come on. Can you honestly tell me that Dream Sky isn't a hottie?
DREAM MORGAN: [pause] [then shrugs] Whatever. [thinks for a long moment] I never have dreams about Hunter like that.
DREAM SKY: Then you should seriously question your relationship with him.
DREAM MORGAN: [remembers visiting Hunter's tea party] Oh, believe me, I am. [hops into Alisa's dream]
DREAM ALISA: I'm a unicorn!
DREAM MORGAN: [pause] [backs away verrry slowly and leaves] [wakes up in her real bed]
MORGAN: [pause] Hmm ... I want an ice cream sandwich. [goes and gets an ice cream sandwich] [ice cream sandwiches are good] [do not question the authority of the ice cream sandwich] [Paul the Penguin Lord will strike you down miserably if you do!!! Hahaha!]
[Scene: a few weeks later. Morgan walks over to Hunter's house. She walks in and can't find him.]
MORGAN: Hunter! Where are you? [walks outside to find Hunter howling at the moon] Hunter! What are you doing?
HUNTER: [flips out and attacks Morgan]
MORGAN: Ahhh! He's a werewolf! [dies]
HUNTER: [runs off into the night to stalk more terrified victims and bring about their gory deaths ... hehehe]
[Professor Lupin from Harry Potter happens upon the scene. He looks at Morgan's body]
PROFESSOR LUPIN: Oh, dear.
USE THE FORCE, LUKE
MORGAN: Hunter! That's not what it's supposed to say!
HUNTER: But I like Star Wars!
MORGAN: [with a deadly glare] I hope you don't mean you like Princess Leia!
HUNTER: [whimpers] No ...
MORGAN: Good. [changes the end]
THE END
HUNTER: But that's just plain boring!
MORGAN: Oh, shut up.