KrysOfDeath: O-M-G, CHAPTER THREE! Hey! I'm a poet and I didn't know it! …Heh, heh, I made a funny.
Kish: Quick! Someone get a mop!
KrysOfDeath: Yeah, I- Wait, wha? O.o;
Kish: ((shrug))
KrysOfDeath: Anymoo, time for more stupid jokes! Of course, I got the ideas for said stupid jokes from TV, just like all the jokes in Bonus Stage! n.n
Kish: ((sigh)) Here we go with the Bonus Stage stuff again…
KrysOfDeath: SUUUUUUIT!
Kish: Whadjit-?
KrysOfDeath: Uh, I mean…time for the fic! ((nods))
Kish: ((eye twitches)) There goes my remaining sanity…
REVIEW REPLIES
Seitsuuno Megami - Enjie Yekcam was the one who inspired this madness. So go read her stuff. xD
Poke Mew Plum - OMIGOD, MORE PLUSHIES! ((hugs them to death)) Well, anyways, you probably won't need to worry about Ichigo sneezing anymore. I gave her anti-sneeze stuff. Even though I'm not quite sure if it's been invented yet... o.o Oh, well! n.n
Kissu Kisshu -I will still work on a select few of my romances, but otherwise, I'm done with them. 'Stranded', however, was on my previous account, and thus is mostly finished. I've just been too lazy to repost the chapters (there are eight or nine chapters already written). Anyhoo, yeah, most people have a bad habit of letting other people's opinions piss them off, especially when it comes to opinions over the relationships of MADE UP CHARACTERS. But what can ya do? ((sighs)) About Pai's laptop, let's just say it got lucky, and Ryou's virus hasn't been sent...yet. ((evil grin)) I'm going to have a later chapter where the virus will come into the story, which will make said later chapter a total Strong Bad Email ripoff. XD;
MewChoco - Unless I run out of ideas for e-mails, I won't be taking any from reviewers. This is due to some moronic idiot misunderstanding the whole 'send me ideas in reviews' and reporting the fic the last time it was up on this site. If you insist, however, send it in an e-mail to me, rather than a review. About you making an appearance, I choose reviewers at random for a random chapter. Randomly. ((mysterious smile))
ficfan3484 - Couldn't stop laughing? That's not good. o.o One of my friends did that once, and she had to go to the hospital. You're okay, right? Your spleen hasn't burst or anything, has it? ((sweatdrops)) Anyways, as you were hoping, I updated. Enjoy, hai?
THE KISH MAILS – Chapter Three – Yes, White-Out fumes are dangerous.
"Do NOT swallow or inhale."
Pai looks up from his science magazine, one eyebrow raised. "Kish, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Huh? Oh, I was just reading the warning labels on this bottle of White-Out. How can you inhale White-Out anyways? In order to inhale it, wouldn't you have to get it out of the bottle first? Or do they mean the fumes from the White-Out?" Somehow, Pai's eyebrow manages to raise even higher. Higher and higher until it floats out of the fanfic. …No, really.
(Insert clunking sounds here, caused by the authoress being whacked with her kitsune friend's shinai for getting off topic. …Being whacked with a shinai is painful…)
"But I digress! Digress is a funny word!" Kish states, one finger raised as he makes this ingenious statement.
Sighing, Pai sets down his magazine. "Are you going to check your e-mail or what? I'd like for you to get it over with so I can do more…important stuff. Stuff that's more important than your stupid e-mail."
All of a sudden, Kish whirls around, shocked. "Wait a second… GASP! Electronic mail? Why didn't I think of that?" Pai's left eye twitches.
"Probably because someone else did. Idiot." With that, the purple-haired alien hurries out of the room before Kish's apparent mental illness can infect him as well. What Pai doesn't know is that said apparent mental illness is caused by being in one of KrysOfDeath's fanfics. …Ah, well. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
The green-haired alien shrugs, then runs to his office chair, diving onto it just to make it spin around. Once seated and not spinning, Kish turns on the computer, intent on getting rid of a few e-mails. Yes, my dear readers. Today, Kish has planned to respond to, delete, or laugh at more than one e-mail! "Let's see…" Kish starts. "If I answer three to five e-mails every chapter, and there's a new chapter about every day or so, I'll have all 748 e-mails answered in…uh…about half a year. Or something like that. Hell, I was never all that great at math anyways. …Psh. Math. Who needs it. AND NOW…Time for…E-MAIL NUMBER ONE!"
S.B. – how do u tipe wit boxing glovs on?Kish stares at this sentence for hardly two seconds before saying suspiciously, "Hey, wait a minute…" Another two seconds and the alien has it figured out. "AUTHORESS! No Strong Bad references! This fic is already a big enough rip-off! BAD FORM! SHAME ON YOU!"
Krys pops her head in. "'Bad form'? What, are you practicing for a role in 'Hook'? Sorry to say, that film has been out for years, Kish. You're WAY late." Before he can respond nastily, she adds, "Don't get your boxers in a bunch. Just baleete the freakin' e-mail and go on with life."
"'Baleete'? Now you're quoting Homestar!" Kish exclaims.
"Am not." The authoress then poofs out in a burst of cotton candy, which Kish pokes at hesitantly before moving on to the next e-mail.
Not-so-dear Kish – You are a terrible character.
Kish scowls. "Well, this person didn't waste any time trying to make me feel bad. They didn't even make any spelling errors so I could make fun of them. What a JERK."
You're pervy and nasty and stuff like that.
"Someone has been getting mad, haven't they? You know what they need to do? They need to get used to the fact that some people are just…different," Kish states matter-of-factly.
At that precise moment, Pai just so happens to be passing by, and decides to drop in. "You know…that's gotta be the smartest and most intelligible thing you've ever said."
Kish looks up. "Huh? Oh, I wasn't finished. I was about to say that they need to go to Hell, and then screw themselves. Metaphorically of course, since it probably isn't physically possible."
Pai blinks, then raises an eyebrow. "…Someone has been getting mad, haven't they?"
"Don't QUOTE me! I HATE it when you do that!"
Masaya is better than you.
For a long, quiet moment, the two aliens just stare at the screen before Pai turns to give Kish a weird look. "There's still Masaya fans out there? I thought all of your fans hunted them down!"
"Guess not. Well…that might explain this e-mail. Of course, it's not my fault I'm so adorably sexy that my fans can't help but love me. Did I TELL them to hunt down Masaya fans? Huh? DID I? HUH? HUH?"
"…Yes, actually…you did. And your fans listened to you. Even though you thought they wouldn't…they did."
Kish looks vaguely surprised. "Well, DAMN!"
You have problems.
"Finally, someone who understands… Too bad that someone is a total JERKWAD."
"Kish…NO ONE says 'jerkwad' anymore."
"Says YOU! Mr. I-Know-Everything-About-NOTHING!"
"PLEASE don't quote Ed, Edd, and Eddy. That just proves you have more problems than we all originally thought."
"What's wrong with me quoting shows, huh? You quote me all the time, so you're indirectly quoting the shows that I'm quoting! SO THERE!"
"Well…I…uh…geh…you're…um… Your legs are stupid."
"……WOW, I'm SO hurt."
With lots of crap"Oh my god, that's SO not getting old. I hate Strong Bad references...and this whole damn fic is a Strong Bad reference..." Kish mutters, putting his head in his hands.
From SteveKish gives a surprised noise. "This is from a MALE Masaya fan? Do those even EXIST?" Pai only shrugs. "…Well, I guess they do now. Weird. Eh, anyways, I guess I have to waste my time replying to this sorry thing. Um…" He looks over at Pai. "How should I start?"
"How about something with that word that no one says anymore?"
"What, jerkwad?"
"See, only YOU say it anymore."
"Psh. You said it earlier."
Pai takes a moment to look offended. "Did not."
"Yes you did!" Kish snatches the finished chapter script from the authoress, reads through it, and points out a line of dialogue. "See, there. THERE! You said jerkwad. See, you said it. YOU SAID IT! I WIN!"
"Whatever."
Tossing away the finished chapter script unceremoniously, the green-haired alien sets about the task of responding to his hate mail. "Okay… 'Dear Jerkwad' – SHUT UP, PAI. STOP LAUGHING. STOP IT! Ahem… 'Dear Jerkwad' – SHUT UP, PAI! I MEAN IT!" Kish sighs. "'Dear STEVE…jerk. I'm not at all offended about your opinion. Really. It's just…you need to shut up. Kinda like Pai needs to shut up about the whole 'jerkwad' thing'- SHUT UP, PAI! DAMN!"
Pai attempts to muffle his snickering, but of course, fails miserably. "I'm sorry, it's just that…Oh, I don't know… You really aren't acting 'not offended'."
"Was that even grammatically correct?"
"At this point, I don't even care anymore."
"Anyways, as I was saying. 'Steve-jerk, you need to shut up. If you can't say something nice, then go screw yourself, cuz you're stupid and should die." Pai, who is just a bit confused, opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it and keeps quiet, which is probably the more intelligent thing to do. "And now…DELETED!" Kish slams the delete button, quite happily. "Okay, time for e-mail numbah three!"
"And now you're messing with spelling so that you could make a Kids Next Door reference. What is WRONG with you?"
"SHUT UP, PAI!"
Dear Kish – Inhale some White-Out, I'm in need of entertainment. DO IT NOW. –From, the authoress. (P.S. If you don't, you may find yourself buried in plushies at the end of the fic.)
The two gape at the screen before Kish squeals joyfully, "WOOHOO! FINALLY!"
"What do you mean, 'finally'?" Pai asks, one eyebrow raised as he watches Kish grab a bottle of White-Out.
Two hours later…"After nearly an hour of experimenting, Kish finally found a way to ACTUALLY inhale White-Out itself," Pai says to Taruto as they enjoy their dinner.
Taruto tilts his head cutely. "So what happened?"
"He died."
END OF CHAPTER!
Kish: …You…killed me? O.o;
KrysOfDeath: Nah, don't worry, it's a temporary thing. ((laughs))
Kish: ………You're ripping off Bonus Stage again, aren't you? u.u
KrysOfDeath: What, with the multiple deaths thing? …NAH. ((innocent look))
Kish: Ugh… ((shakes head)) You're so dumb.
KrysOfDeath: … ((presses a button))
((Kish suddenly finds himself buried in plushies))