Somebody sprayed graffiti all over the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or characters. I got this idea while watching TV on vacation. Apparently something like this happened at a real high school. So of course I had to steal…er, borrow this idea as well. Stealing is wrong. Stealing is bad.
Of Mutants and Mascots
"For crying out loud," Tabitha grumbled. "Jean's breasts aren't that big."
"Neither is Remy's butt," Amara pointed out. "Or Beast's."
"I dunno," Jubilee said. "He has been scarfing down those Twinkies lately."
"I'm not that hairy, am I?" Kurt asked.
"No, but they did get Scott's big mouth right," Kitty said. The five mutants were looking at some very crude graffiti on the east wall of the Institute. It was full of slurs as well as several non-flattering depictions of the X-Men.
"Well Kitty what did you think was going to happen when you gaveCyclops that burrito you made?" Jubilee asked.
"Is he still in the infirmary?" Tabitha asked.
"No, he made a rapid recovery," Kurt told her.
"Well he only had a few bites," Kitty said.
"That was all he could stand before his face turned green," Amara said.
"I still can't believe he made me clean this as punishment for cooking," Kitty grumbled as she reached for a bucket.
"No, this punishment is for you lying about the burrito being made by Jean," Betsy said as she, Rogue, Remy and Dead Girl walked up to them with buckets of their own.
"He wouldn't have eaten it if I told him I made it!" Kitty snapped. "You all act like my cooking isn't good for anything!"
"That's not true," Rogue told her. "Thanks to your cooking the X-Men have now made great advances in the field of stomach medicine and multi powered antacids. Oh for crying out loud." She looked at the wall. "How many times do I have to say it? My name is Rogue! Not Rouge! R-O-G-U-E! Not R-O-U-G-E!"
"To be fair it is a simple mistake," Dead Girl said. "To anyone who can't spell which proves that a student of Bayville High is responsible!"
"Okay we all know what Kitty did to get this job," Betsy looked at the others. "And Kurt I thought your whoopee cushion was quite amusing even if Logan didn't think so. But what about the rest of you?""Logan's mad at me for teaching Rina how to shop online," Jubilee explained. "I mean the poor girl has been so deprived her whole life!"
"She isn't anymore," Remy said. "Another truckload of shoes from DSW pulled up an hour ago."
"They're not all for her," Tabitha said. "Amara and I needed a few new shoes to go with our outfits too. I didn't think the Professor would get mad. The credit card bill wasn't that high!"
"It think the only reason we got off so easy was that Ororo saw a few things she liked as well," Amara explained. "Especially since when Logan got mad he also sliced up some of her favorite plants accidentally."
"I thought I heard thunder this morning," Betsy thought.
"What about you guys?" Kurt asked. "What did you do?"
"We volunteered," Dead Girl said.
"You're kidding?" Kurt asked.
"Nope," Rogue shook her head. "We really did."
"Why?" Kitty asked.
"In a futile attempt to bring some culture to the Institute, Beast has decided to perform a one mutant opera he wrote himself," Betsy told them as she started scrubbing.
"It was either this or watch a three hundred and fifty pound blue furred man in a horn helmet caterwaul for two hours in a language nobody understands," Dead Girl said. "Except of course Cypher. And even he doesn't want to know."
"I see your point," Jubilee winced.
"Exactly," Dead Girl nodded. "I mean I'm already dead. Haven't I suffered enough?"
"You can see how this is preferable to Beast's opera," Rogue told them.
"A weekend climbing the tallest pile of seagull droppings would be preferable to Beast's opera," Remy snorted. He looked at the wall. "Hey! Remy's butt is not that big!"
"Hey it's the one good thing those jerks from Bayville High ever did for us," Rogue told him. "Be grateful."
"I don't know why we're bothering," Tabitha brushed away some more paint. "They'll just put upsome more of this garbagein a week or two anyway."
"Does this happen often?" Betsy asked.
"Unfortunately," Kurt sighed.
"Police won't go near this place so they don't stop 'em," Rogue explained. "Xavier complains to the principal but he don't do nothing. And half the parents in this town actually encourage their kids to do it. Especially those whose kids are on the football team."
"Nothing like trashing mutants to raise a little school spirit," Tabitha quipped as she scrubbed.
"It's so totally unfair!" Kitty snapped. "I mean they write graffiti and pull pranks on our school all the time and we can't do anything about it!"
"Says who?" Remy asked. "I say we teach those boys from Bayville High a lesson they will not forget."
"We can't do that!" Amara said. "Can we?"
"Why not?" Tabitha threw her sponge down. "I'm sick of it! I say we pull a prank of our own! Let's spray 'Bayville High Sucks' all over the school!"
"We can't do that," Rogue said.
"I guess not," Kitty sighed. "I mean it would be pretty pathetic to sink to their level."
"No, I mean we can't do that because the Brotherhood already did that years ago," Rogue said. "Remember?"
"Oh yeah," Kurt nodded. "That was when Mystique was principal then wasn't she?"
"That's right," Rogue nodded. "And then they did it again not long after Kelly took office. Remember Tabitha?"
"How could I forget?" She said. "I chose the color scheme of the mural depicting Kelly in his underwear running from rabid dogs. It was good work."
"Okay so graffiti has been done," Remy sighed. "How about we take something of theirs?"
"Figures you'd think of stealing something Swamp Rat," Rogue snorted.
"Yes, but for once it may not be a bad idea," Betsy thought. "When I was in prep school we used to steal the other school's mascot all the time."
"Hmmm…" Kurt got a gleam in his eye.
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The next morning…
"I'm telling you last night was way too quiet," Logan grunted as he walked in the halls with Hank, Ororo, Scott and Jean.
"You're never happy," Scott said. "If the kids are noisy you complain, if they behave you complain."
"If they ever behaved I wouldn't complain," Logan grunted. "When things are quiet that means that they're up to something."
"Oh come on Logan," Hank said as he turned open a door. "These are good kids. They wouldn't do anything criminal."
As he opened the door they saw nearly the entire student population standing in the middle of a classroom with a large golden hawk statue. Around it's neck was a sign saying BAYVILLE HIGH SUCKS!
"Wanna bet?" Logan growled. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"
"Uh oh," Sam gulped. "Busted."
"Yeah you're busted all right!" Scott stormed in. "Is that what I think it is?"
"Uh, if you're thinking that it's the Bayville High Mascot then it's a good chance," Dead Girl said.
"How could you do something like this?" Jean was shocked.
"It was surprisingly easy," Remy shrugged.
"You stole their mascot?" Logan's jaw dropped. "Good job!"
"LOGAN!" Ororo shouted.
"Oh come on Storm," Logan said. "You can't say that those punks from Bayville High don't deserve this, not after all the crap they put the kids through."
"Besides it's only a minor prank," Hank agreed.
"It's a felony that's what it is!" Scott said.
"Only technically," Remy shrugged. "If we get caught."
"If you get caught?" Scott glared at him. "You've just been caught!"
"What are you gonna do Cyke? Narc on 'em?" Logan asked.
"No, but sooner or later the police will figure it out," Scott said.
"Those cops couldn't catch a cold," Tabitha waved.
"Tabitha!" Ororo warned. "You're just all lucky that the Professor is away on a conference this weekend! I can't believe you would all do something so irresponsible!"
"Please, calm down," Hank said. "It's not that bad."
"Not that bad?" Ororo looked at him. "Explain to me how stealing Bayville High property is not bad?"
"Ororo, when I was a teenager on the football team we spent many a night pranking our rivals," Hank told her. "Stealing mascots, TP'ing the school, filling a few lockers with shaving cream. It was all done in good fun."
"Yes, well I doubt that the police would think so," Ororo glared at him. "The last thing we need around here is another lawsuit."
"Hey guys! What's going on?" Todd hopped in with the Misfits close behind.
"No Storm, the last thing we need is the Misfits to find us like this," Scott groaned.
"What are you guys doing?" Lance asked as the Misfits walked up. "Is that what I think it is?"
"As much as I hate knowing what you think," Scott grumbled. "Yes it is."
"You stole Bayville High's hawk statue?" Fred's jaw dropped. "Cool!"
"Man I gotta admit, I didn't think you guys had it in you!" Pietro beamed.
"Way to go!" Todd crowed.
"See that?" Scott looked at the X-Men. "See what you did? You made the Misfits happy! I hope you're all proud of yourselves!"
"So what are you going to do with it?" Althea asked.
"We could blow it up," Xi suggested.
"YEAH!" Todd cheered.
"We are not going to blow it up," Scott glared at him.
"Aw man," Todd snapped his fingers in disappointment.
"We're going to return it right now and everyone is going to write a letter of apology!" Ororo said sternly.
"Why should we?" Jubilee challenged. "Do any of them write us letters of apology when we catch them vandalizing the Institute?"
"No, but then again they don't call the authorities when we sic Lockheed on them," Hank told her.
"Jubilee's got a point," Lance spoke up. "You can't just let them keep doing these things to you."
"Yeah you guys gotta stand up for yourselves!" Todd punched his fist into his open palm. "Or else these guys will walk all over you!"
"You mean like trashing our home, eating our food and driving us insane?" Scott looked at him.
"Yeah!" Todd nodded enthusiastically; the irony completely lost on him. "They're just gonna take advantage of you guys if you don't put your foot down. You might as well write welcome on your forehead and lie down cause they see you as a bunch of doormats. By the way we were just in your kitchen a minute ago. You're all out of Cheese Whiz."
"Next time remember to get the cheddar flavor," Fred reminded. "I really like that one."
"Oh! And those Ritz crackers!" Arcade added. "You gotta get more Ritz crackers!"
Ororo looked at the Misfits and then looked at the X-Men. "I admit…" She sighed. "You do make a rather convincing point."
"So will the lawyers when this comes before a judge," Scott told her. "When Bayville High finds out about this we're going to be in trouble! Again!"
"Not if they think someone else did it," Pietro grinned.
"You mean, frame another school for the prank?" Hank asked. Pietro nodded. "You know that could work."
"HANK!" Jean glared at him. "That's some solution! Framing an innocent school for a crime we committed!"
"Oh it's we now?" Remy folded his arms.
"I didn't see you lugging the stupid thing all the way home," Rogue grumbled.
"Well what if this school wasn't exactly innocent?" Pietro had a look in his eye.
"What do you mean?" Betsy asked. Then she got a glimpse of his thoughts. "No! That is wicked!"
"Is he thinking what I think he's thinking?" Scott asked Jean.
"He is," Jean nodded.
"Okay I'm in," Scott said. Everyone looked at him. "Hey like Beast said, it's just a harmless prank."
"How fast you change your tune when the Piper of Fate plays some music you like," Fred mocked.
Everyone looked at the Misfits. "He's been watching Masterpiece Theater again," Wanda shrugged her shoulders and sighed.
"Even though I have a hunch what it is you are all thinking of, I don't want to know do I?" Ororo sighed, resigned to the fact that it was out of her hands.
"Pretty much yeah," Logan gently patted her on the shoulder. "Kids you did a bad thing, don't do it again. Now fix it while I make Storm a pot of coffee."
"A big pot," Ororo moaned as she and Logan left them. "With a little brandy in it."
"How about a small pot with a lot of brandy in it?" Logan asked.
"Even better," Ororo sighed.
"Well, it's safe to say that the rest of us are in this little caper," Hank clapped his hands together. "Shall we proceed with our endeavor?"
"You watch Masterpiece Theater too?" Fred asked brightly.
"Let's just get this over with as fast as possible," Jean sighed.
"Yeah I think this thing is staring at us," Todd tried to move around the statue. "It's like its eyes are following us."
"Toad get the camera," Pietro ordered. "Kurt, round up a few extra image inducers. Now all we have to do is get our teleportation watches ready and…."
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The next day…
"What the…?" Emma blinked as she saw a large gold eagle on the roof of the Hellion's dorm. "Beef! Have you been on a bender again?"
"What the heck is that?" Bevatron asked as the Hellions emerged from the dorm.
"It looks like the Bayville High Hawk mascot," Evan blinked.
"What's it doing up there?" Emma asked.
"How should I know?" Evan snapped.
"Ms. Frost!" Solomon O'Sullivan, one of the other students at the Massachusetts Academy ran up to her. "The cops are at the front gate! They claim they have pictures of the Hellions stealing some kind of bird statue." He looked up. "Hey is that it?"
"No O'Sullivan," Monet said sarcastically. "It's some other bird statue that got swiped!"
"I have a pretty good idea who is responsible for this…" Emma gritted her teeth. "It's seems some of your old classmates still hold a grudge Evan!"
"He did it to me again," Evan groaned. "I know it. Pietro framed me again!"