UmJammer Lammy 2: Nightmares
Chapter 5: Flashbacks From The Children
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(At TGIE's house, the radio is on 99X on full blast and Lammy is covering her ears)
Lammy: What is this music?
TGIE: Alternative rock.
Lammy: Oh, but I only care for rock, crap face!
TGIE: I'm sorry, but you have to do everything that pops into my mind, and that means you have to listen to my music, go to therapy for your nightmares, and I'll garnishee your guitar!
(TGIE snatches the guitar from Lammy and puts it in a safe)
Lammy: I...I...I can't live!
(Lammy aims a gun at her head, but TGIE also puts it in a safe)
TGIE: No firearms and musical instruments, except the Rainbow Bass!
Lammy: You're crazy! You can't buy the Rainbow Bass! That guy that makes it is retired!
TGIE: But Les gave me 10 of those Rainbow Basses!
Lammy: Who's Les?
TGIE: He's the master of bass playing!
Lammy: No, he isn't! Katy is!
TGIE: He's Les Claypool!
Lammy: Oh.
(Cut to the MilkCan tour bus, where Katy Kat is watching Primus videos and playing video games)
Katy Kat: Hey, Mar!
Ma-san: (Yeah?)
Katy Kat: You know what? Our popularity is rising through the roof!
Ma-san: (I know, Katy.)
Katy Kat: And since Lammy's gone, we don't have to appeal to her! But she's been my friend, ever since she had those nightmares! Why does she?
Ma-san: (I guess she's in her world.)
Katy Kat: Yeah, screw her.
(Cut back to TGIE's house, where Lammy is laying down on the love seat, while TGIE is dressed up like Dr. Phil)
TGIE: Lammy, what is your problem?
Lammy: Well, I have these nightmares and I usually tear off my clothes in my nightmare.
TGIE: What is your nightmare?
Lammy: Well, I don't know!
TGIE: If I can't help, I'll trigger memories in your mind, including nightmare memories!
(TGIE gets a LaserDisc and tries to put it in the DVD player)
TGIE: This disc is too big!
Lammy: You're trying to put in a LaserDisc in a DVD player!
TGIE: Oh.
(TGIE puts it in a Laserdisc player and the image, with laser rot on the top left corner, comes up with photos of Lammy's life)
Lammy: No, that's not true.
(Cut to the nightmare, where Lammy is being beat up by Robert Plant)
Lammy: (voiceover) It was back from '91, when I got hit on the head by Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin. He gave me the nightmares, and I even told the band to not criticize the nightmares, so...I kept having them, and it got so worse, ever my nightmares had a director in it and Robert Plant beating me up! The nightmare is about me getting beat up by Robert Plant...and I broke MilkCan up by that.
(Cut back to Lammy, who is crying a river)
Lammy: I need someone to help me. Can I sing?
TGIE: Yes. Sing any alternative song.
(Lammy grabs a replica of the guitar from "Jerry Was A Race Car Driver" and plays the first notes of "Low" by Cracker)
Cracker-"Low"-Lowery
Sometimes I wanna take you down
sometimes I wanna get you low
but brush your hair back from your eyes
take you down let the river flow
(The guitar gets rockier)
Sometimes I go and walk the street
Behind a green sheet of glass
A million miles below their feet
A million miles A million miles
(Lammy starts singing her heart out)
Being with you girl like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
Being with you girl like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
A million poppies gunna make me sleep
Just one rose it knows your name
The fruit is rusting on the vine
A fruit is calling from the trees
Hey don't you wanna go down
Like some junky cosmonaut
A million miles below their feet
A million miles A million miles
Being with you girl is like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
Being with you girl is like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
Blue blue is the sun
Brown brown is the sky
Green green are her eyes
A million miles A million miles
Hey don't you wanna go down
Like some disgraced cosmonaut
A million miles below their feet
A million miles A million miles
Being with you girl is like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
Being with you girl is like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
Being with you girl is like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being stoned
Being with you girl is like being Low
Hey Hey Hey like being...stoned...
(Lammy puts up the guitar and goes back on the loveseat)
TGIE: That song was pretty good, Lammy, but you'll still serve the 2 month camp.
Lammy: No! No! NO!
TGIE: Sorry!
(Lammy starts going into her nightmare stages, when TGIE hooks her up to a nightmare monitor)
TGIE: I'll see what her nightmares are really about!
(In the nightmare, Lammy is getting burnt by Robert Plant)
Lammy: Don't hurt me!
Robert Plant: No!
(Robert Plant hits Lammy in the crotch)
Lammy: NO!
(Lammy wakes up, being wired to the nightmare monitor)
TGIE: You have dissapointed you, so I wired you to this for 2 months or forever! You need my help! You need Hannibal's help.
Lammy: Crap.
(Lammy's mouth dissapears into thin air, while TGIE takes off his costume to reveal Hannibal Lecter)
Hannibal: Good evening, Lamelda.
Lammy: (thought mode) You are a wimp!
Hannibal: I'm gonna cook you for 2 months!
Lammy: (thought mode) Crap...
(On the MilkCan tour bus, Katy Kat is practicing "Got to Move (Millenium Girl)" with a guitar and different tunes)
Katy Kat: No cutting corners. She's on the border now!
(Katy Kat puts up the guitar and starts tearing)
Katy Kat: I want Lammy back!
Ma-san: (You said she was trouble!)
Katy Kat: I know, but she's in trouble! We have to save her!
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to be continued...