2. Lost

Epona and I made our way through the Lost Woods, me lost in thought. It seemed like every time I told someone about Zelda they got...huffy. First Saria, then Malon. Was it something I said? Was it the fact that she was a princess? Or was it...the fact that she wasn't them?

Ew.

Unfortunately, while that was going on in my head, I hadn't been paying much attention to where we were going. Epona and I were now thoroughly lost.

In the Lost Woods.

"Great, now we're gonna die," I muttered.

I tried to keep calm, so Epona wouldn't panic, but I had absolutely no idea where we were. I've probably spent a lot more time in the Lost Woods than most sane people, and I'd thought I was familiar enough with it to manage. But I didn't recognize this place at all.

Well, they call it the Lost Woods for a reason.

As we got further and further into the woods, I recognized less and less. I was actually starting to think this wasn't the Lost Woods at all.

I started to panic. I raced Epona through the unfamiliar trees, zigzagging at unsafe speeds. (Hey, that rhymed!) I thought I heard a sound, turned to look, but suddenly Epona screamed and threw me to the ground.

I felt a sharp pain, and everything went dark...

I awoke what seemed to be only a short time later.

"Hey, Skull Kid, let me play!" said a shrill little voice.

"No way, you'd drop it and break it!" another voice said, then laughed.

I got to my feet, slowly, and looked around. A couple of fairies were making odd ringing sounds and trying to get the attention of a strange Skull Kid in a freaky mask who was playing the Ocarina of Time!

"What the hell!" I exclaimed. The Skull Kid turned with a jump, noticing me. He looked down at the Ocarina, and quickly hid it behind his back.

Furious, I lunged at the Skull Kid, but he leapt over my head onto Epona, who I hadn't noticed before, and took off. I grabbed onto the Skull Kid's leg as he galloped past, and he dragged me off through the forest.

It wasn't easy, holding onto his leg like that, and just before the Skull Kid reached a log tunnel, I fell off. The Skull Kid continued, and scrambled to my feet and followed. But I didn't have a clue where I was going. I didn't have enough time to stop myself as I plunged off a cliff into darkness.

There seemed to be odd symbols floating around as I fell.

I landed on a big plant in the middle of a pool of water. Floating alongside his two fairies, the Skull Kid looked down at me and said, "What's with that stupid horse of yours? It doesn't listen to a word that's said to it... There's no point in riding a thing like that, so I did you a favor and got rid of it."

I gasped and the Skull Kid laughed. "Aww, boo-hoo. Why the sad face? I just thought I would have a little fun with you..."

I gritted my teeth and drew my sword, saying, "What the hell are you-"

And then things got weird. I felt, I don't know, floaty. And then all these Deku Scrubs surrounded me. I tried to run, but a giant Deku Scrub that followed me and...

I woke up. I felt...odd. Not bad, but...different. Something was off. I put my hand up to my head, to try and regain my balance, or whatever it was that was off, but then I noticed. My hand was wood. My head was huge.

I was a frickin' Deku Scrub.

I screamed. Well what else was I gonna do?

The Skull kid was laughing his head off. "Now, that's a good look for you!" He trailed off into laughter for a moment, then managed to say, "You'll stay here looking that way forever."

"No!" I cried, pausing only for a moment at the sound of my own voice. The Skull kid was starting to float away, toward a doorway. "No!" I cried again. I started to run after him, but the white fairy bobbed up in front of me, to stop me from following.

She laughed and started taunting me, not seeming to noticed that the Skull Kid and her darker companion were leaving. The dark one stopped, noticing she was missing at the last moment, but it was too late.

The door slammed shut.

The fairy whirled around.

"Whoa! Whoa! Skull Kid, wait for me! I'm still here! Tael, you can't leave without me!"

"Too late Jingle Belle," I said smugly. "You just got ditched."

"You!" she flew over to me angrily. "If I wasn't dealing with you, I wouldn't have gotten separated from my brother!"

Brother? I was surprised. I didn't know fairies had brothers.

"Well, don't just sit there, Deku Boy! Do something!"

I glared at her. She'd made fun of me, and let her friend turn me into a Deku Scrub. And she wanted my help?

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Why do you think?

"What, is there something stuck on my face?"

Fairies have faces?

"Will you stop staring and just open that door for me?"

I kept right on staring.

"Please! C'mon, a helpless, little girl is asking you... So hurry up!"

Helpless? She sounded downright bossy to me.

"Ohhhh, Tael... I wonder if that child will be all right on his own?" She sounded genuinely worried that time.

The fairy flew over to the door and I got to my feet.

So. I was a Scrub.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap on a crap-stick.

My sword was gone, but with a little experimentation I found I could swing my hood...hat...thing, and cut grass the same way I could with my sword. That was something, right?

Finally, I gave up and went to the door. Oddly enough, I had no trouble opening it. Why had the Skull Kid thought that would trap me?

I left the cave without so much as a glance at the fairy, but she followed me.

"Hey, wait for me! Don't leave me behind!"

I sighed and stopped walking. Wasn't like I knew where I was going anyway.

"So, um... That stuff back there... I...um...apologize, so... So take me with you! You wanna know about that Skull Kid who just ran off, right? Well, I just so happen to have an idea of where he might be going. Take me with you and I'll help you out. Deal? Please?"

I didn't say anything. I didn't really know what to say.

But the fairy apparently took it as a yes. "Good! So then it's settled! Now then, I'll be your partner.. or at least until we catch that Skull Kid..." She paused for a moment, then continued, "My name is Tatl. So, uh, it's nice to meet you or whatever. Now that we've got that all straightened out, can we stop messing around and get moving? If I figure something out, I'll tell it to you. Hopefully, you'll manage to get by without my help until then!"

What else could I do? Besides, without Epona I didn't have a single living creature around that I knew.

So me and Tatl went off together, and I realized that this was the beginning of a whole new adventure.

Dammit.