Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, Squaresoft does. It's pretty obvious, if I had owned FF, I'd been this ultra-rich woman with 20 cars and 5 houses XD
The Prince yawned, arching his back, his face scrunched up. He then settled himself back in the plush divan, luxuriating in its feel.
He ran a finger across its surface, taking in its texture, its softness, its beauty...he sighed contentedly and with a flick of his hand,
wasbrought a platter full of choice fruits, the juiciest ever in all of Esthar. He gingerly selected a grape and squeezed it ever so
lightly, watching its juices ooze out. He steered it to his mouth and was about to savour its sweetness when...
"SQUALL! GET YOUR ASS OVER TO THE THRONE ROOM RIGHT NOW!" A voice reverberated throughout the castle.
"What does that old man want now?" Squall grumbled as he reluctantly heaved himself out of his divan and stalked down the
hallways into the throne room.
"Announcing His Highness, Prince Squall -ahem- Fluffikins Loire!" one of the pages, Seifer Almasy, trumpeted as the doors were
flung open and Squall strode in.
"My dear darling Squall, you're here!" King Laguna Loire beamed, as Squall looked up at the jolly, elephantine old man. "Whatever,"
replied the prince. "Why did you have to name me Fluffikins, anyway?"
"Because it was your grandfather's name!" the King beamed. "My...granddad's...name?" Squall gaped in disbelief.
"Errr, well, no, actually I never bothered to remember my dad's name, but I always used to hear my mum caling him 'Fluffikins' as a
child, so I assumed that his name was Fluffikins. Anyway," Laguna continued, oblivious to Squall slapping his forehead in
exasperation, " Stand up straight and smile like a prince, Squall! Always remember, a prince of the noble house of Loire must set an
example to his countrymen, for he will lead them one day with his queen by his side!"
"Uh. Yeah. Right." was all Squall had to offer.
The King tutted. "Now, now, my boy, that is not attitude befitting for a prince! Perhaps, your queen, whom is going to be chosen by
you very soon, will change your attitude, so that you two can rule Esthar in peace and harmony."
Squall's eyes drilled holes into the jolly king whose wine glass was perched precariously on an arm of his throne. "Wait a minute,
did you say...my Queen?"
"Yes, yes, my boy!" King Laguna stood up (which Squall considered a remarkable feat, owing to Laguna's gargantuan bulk)and
threw his arms open. Squall was distinctly reminded of the times when the King had administered a vile treatment he called a "hug"
to Squall, often squishing him and depriving him of air in the process. "You, Squallykins, will have a wide selection of brides to
choose from!"
At this, Squall jumped about a foot in the air. "You're MAIL-ORDERING?" he shrieked.
Laguna looked scandalised. "No, no, my boy, of course not! Many lovely princesses from all over the world will be coming here over
the next few days to win your heart! With so many beauties vying for your attention, you will definitely have a hard time to choose!"
"I do not like girls," Squall replied curtly.
Laguna winked and wagged a finger. "Oh no, Squally boy, don't try to get past me! We older men know all the tricks in a laddie's
book! You're just shy, aren't you?" he giggled, along with a few of the senior court officials.
"Really, I do not like girls," Squall pleaded desperately. "Why can't I just go to the forest and be a hermit or something!"
Laguna cackled. "Ah, my boy, I know what you're worried about! The first night would be awkward, but after that, it's all smooth
sailing, if you know what I mean!" He winked once again.
Squall felt like vanishing into thin air as the whole court erupted into laughter. His face flaming red, he faced his father once again.
"Father, I beseech of you! Let me go, just this once-"
The king looked alarmed. "No, Squall! The lineage of Loire has been the purest of the pure, and will always be! Every Loire in
existence has noble blood flowing through his or her veins! I must insist on you marrying a princess and continuing the untarnished,
untainted House of Loire! For my sake, Squall!"
Squall glared at the roly-poly man on the throne and mumbled, "Whatever."
The old man clapped. "Whoopee! Now Squall, you may go! And remember, Princess Selphie of Trabia and Princess Fujin of Balamb
will be arriving tomorrow to seek court! Be prepared!"
Squall turned on his heel and walked briskly out of the room, carefully avoiding the gaze of a smirking Seifer. As he passed, Seifer
whispered, "So, Daddy's little boy is finally getting married, eh? How is Fluffikins liking it?"
"Shut up, Seifer, or I swear I'll personally throw you into the dungeons and roast you over a pit alive, " Squall growled from the corner
of his mouth, so that the king wouldn't hear.
As Squall was about to escape to safety, the king called out, "SQUALL!"
Squall turned around. "Yes?"
"Be sure to have many babies, so that they can continue the royal lineage of Loire!" Laguna called out.
Squall clenched his teeth and slammed the door shut, restraining the uproarious laughter that was fighting to get out of the hall, and
stomped off, but not before hearing Seifer's yell of "Fluffikins needs to make babies!"
Author's Comments: Poor Squall! Laguna personally likes Seifer and thinks he's very witty, which is why he dismisses Seifer's scathing, smart-alec remarks as harmless fun. Sometimes, even the most obvious things escape King Laguna's eyes! What will happen next? How will Squall react towards Selphie and Fujin? Finally, how does Rinoa appear in the story! Stay tuned for the next chapter!