A/N: This chapter is early because I love all of my awesome reviewers! Your reviews, have been, well, awesome. Thank you so much. I'm glad everyone liked the last chapter. I know you all felt sorry for Vaughn. I did too, as I wrote that, I thought, how could I have done that to him? But hopefully you guys will feel a little happier for him in this chapter. Thanks for the reviews! Oh, and thanks Rachael for your suggestion! As you can tell from this chapter, I've taken it into consideration, and there will be more! And everyone, I love, love, love suggestions, so keep 'em coming! So here's the next chapter.
"You too! I'll see you later Sydney!" he shouted back.
"Vaughn wait!" I yelled. But it wastoo late.
He had already turned the block.
I turned the block, and started down the lonely sidewalk. Maybe the walk home would stop my head from spinning. Seven blocks was a long while for me to think.
A boyfriend.
I still couldn't believe she was able to move on. It may sound silly, but I loved her. I still loved her. Not a day would go by when I didn't think about her. I guess I can't blame her for seeking comfort in someone else. I guess I can't blame someone else for wanting to be with her either. She was always perfect in my eyes. Was what we had as special to her as it was to me? I thought about her every day I was in France. Did she ever think about me? The only part I don't get is, how she could move on.
I'm actually glad that Will's party was tonight. I needed some fun in my week.Itwaslate afternoon on Saturday. I was so beat from the week, when I hadgotten home from school the day before, I went straight to bed. I think I even skipped dinner. I didn't remember. Yeah, I was that tired.
I had no idea how I survived the week. I didn't talk to Vaughn since Monday after practice. Well except in first period Thursday morning, when he asked me for a pencil, and I said I didn't have an extra one. But I did go through all the trouble of asking everyone else in class for one that he could use. He seemed really distraught over the fact that I have a boyfriend. I think I'm starting to regret being with Kevin. He's a great guy and all, but what I had with Vaughn was so special. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. But I did. I traded it for Kevin. But I want it back. Or do I? I just can't break up with Kevin. Can I? But when I saw the tears in Vaughn's eyes Monday afternoon, I couldn't help hurting inside. Our relationship was really important to him, and I just threw it out the window. I really want what we had, back. I wish it was all the same, before he moved. I wish he never moved. I wish I never moved on, or even thought about trying to. But I can't. I can't move on. I can't let go. I don't want to let go. But dumping Kevin isn't the answer either.
"Sydney," Nadia said, opening my bedroom door to find me lying on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I look up. "Will's party is in an hour. Just to let you know."
"Oh, okay," I responded, dropping my head back on to my pillow. She twirled around to leave me room, but stopped.
"Oh, before I forget. When you and Mom were at the store this morning, Kevin called and said he isn't going to be able to make it to the party tonight. He's going to Sacremento with his parents," she said, breaking my silence. Kevin wasn't going to Will's party? Well, apparently not, according to what Nadia just said. Wow. I'm slow. I wonder whyhadn't toldme the day before?. He had probably just found out this morning. Right. Yeah, I was slow.
"So how were things between you and Vaughn this week?" Nadia asked, sitting on my bed, as I sat up to lean up against the headboard.
"Awkward. Very awkward," I answered. And it wastrue. Things between us had been awkward, and that's tough to deal with.
"I can tell. Haven't you talked to him about what has been going on?"
"Not really. In fact, I haven't talked to him since Monday. His first day back," that was true too. Most of it at least. Well, I guess he did tell me where he stood about our relationship, but his exact feelings. Does that count? Does it? It doesn't? Damnit. I don't think I'm going to benefit from being slow. Today just isn't my day.
"Does he know about Kevin?"
"Yeah," I said hugging my knees.
"You guys need to have a talk," she suggested. As if that wasn't already obvious.
"What am I supposed to say?"
"Tell him where you stand in your relationship, and tell him what you want. I'm sure he'll understand," she offered. What was I supposed to say to him? Hey Vaughn, I'm still madly in love with you, and want to be with you, like to a non-belief. But I can't break up with Kevin, because I don't want to hurt him. How does that work for you?
"Yeah, but I just wish I knew what he was thinking," I was wondering how he felt about all this.
"He'll tell you all of his feelings sooner or later. And when he does, just go with the flow," Nadia exclaimed. She wasright.
"Go with the flow," I whispered to myself.
"Yeah. Well I'd better start getting ready for the party," Nadia said, tugging on her grey Brookenbridge High sweatshirt. I gave her a weird look. "You can't honestly think I'd wear this to a party," she laughed. She popped up from my bed, and skipped out of my room, with a nerdy smile on her face. That girl is far from ordinary. And me? The last time I saw ordinary was in second grade, when I first met Vaughn. Well you'd be unusual for the rest of your life too if a boy, specifically Michael Vaughn, put paste in your hair. I retaliated by lining his entire cubby with mashed potatoes. And from there on, it was war. I guess you could say that nobody puts paste in my hair, and gets away with it. But I think he liked the mashed potatoes in his cubby, because he ate it. Those were the good ole days. That was back when my only problem was when Ken left Barbie to go to the Pet Store playset, and came back to find her and Surfer Blaine eating Big Macs at the McDonalds playset. Sound familiar? My life, starring: Sydney Bristow as Barbie, Michael Vaughn as Ken, and Kevin Mathis as Surfer Blaine. That would be a box-office hit. Yes, Nadia can be Skipper. Movie times: this week, Monday. All-day matinee.
Man,it hadbeen an interesting week. Interesting, as in it totally sucked.
I suppose the only highlight of the entire week, was after soccer practice on Wednesday, when Francie went shopping with me and Nadia for tonight's party. Fran bought a deep red halter dress that cuts off at the knees with a ruffled hem. My sister, of course, splurged on a pink fitted tweed blazer, and spent seventy bucks on a pair of antique wash jeans. There goes two months of her allowance. Then she literally emptied her wallet to buy a pair of white pointy toe pumps. Fran got white pumps too, but with a rounded toe. I bought a pair vintage looking jeans, and a black top. The top was like a tank top, but long, like a tunic, and had an asymetrical hem. It was wrapped with black ribbons. If I didn't wear it with those jeans, I guess you could call it a thirty dollar hooker dress. But I'm no hooker. As for my shoes, I got a pair of olive dressy flip flops, with a kitten heel. All in all, I think my outfit looked pretty good on me.
I twisted my body to look at the time. It was about 7:15. The party was at 8:00. I had already taken a shower after Mom and I got back from the store this morning. Getting ready wouldn't take me long, so I went downstairs to talk to Mom, so I could fill the time.
"Hey Sweetie," she said, turning around from her seat at the kitchen counter. I wonder what she was doing, just sitting there. When she moved her arm, I see the family photo album lying on the counter. It's opened up to a picture of her and Dad. They looked so happy. I think the picture was of them on their trip to Russia. If I can remember right, that was when they went to visit Aunt Katya. Mom notices my heavy gaze on the photo, and coughs.
"Sydney, come look at this with me," she said, patting the barstool next to her, while flipping all the pages to the very front of the album.
"Okay," I said, seating myself next to her gently, as if I would make her explode if I moved too fast. She slide the album over a bit closer to me, so that the it was in between the both of us. We started with the first page. It was a picture of me and Nadia at the park, when we were about seven. Nadia was crying while holding an ice-cream cone up high. And I was eating her ice-cream. I still don't know why she was crying. Maybe because I was eating her ice-cream...
Mom laughed when the picture of me and Dad at the beach came up. Dad was standing there in the water with a big smile on his face, splashing at me playfully, while I was there in the water too, but completely oblivious and picking my nose. I glanced at Mom when we were looking at the album, and I realized how important these memories were to her. She seemed proud of the pictures. I could tell from the glowing grin on her face.
As I surveyed my mother's smile, she turned to a picture of me and Vaughn. That was when one of my old Nannies was getting married, and she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. Vaughn was my escort. The picture was taken right before we left for the wedding, in front of my house in Mom's garden, next to the pond with the fountain. His arm was around my waist, while his other hand was holding one of my hands. My head seemed to fit perfectly, resting in his shoulder. Huge smiles were plastered on both of our faces. How could I have traded that for anything?
"Honey, whatever happened to you and that boy?" Mom asked warmly. She always refered to Vaughn as 'that boy'. It must be some motherly protocol or something. You know what I say? Screw protocol.
"Mom, he moved to France remember?" honestly, how could she have forgotten? I only cried over him for about a year, when I finally decided he wasn't coming back. That year was hell without him.
"Sydney, distance isn't what matters. It's what your heart tells you, that really matters," she said softly. But the distance was what really killed me. I couldn't live without him. France. Do the French have some kind of problem with me? What did I ever do to them? They took away the one I cared most about. Damn them. The French have offiicially made my shit list. "What does your heart tell you?"
That I don't ever want to let go. "I don't know, Mom. It's like one minute he's the only person I ever want to be with, and the next, I remember him leaving, and I wonder if that would ever happen again," I say instead. But it's not a lie.
"Do you see him leaving?"
"All the time."
"Then don't let him go." But how?
"I don't know how."
"Neither do I Sweetie. But if I did, your father would be here," her voice was low, but meaningful. "But he's another story," she straightened out. "The point is, you'll find a way. What that is, I'm not sure. This is something that only you Michael can fix."
I just sat there with no reply. How? How do we fix this? I want to fix it myself, but I'm not sure if I can. How can I, when I don't know his feelings anymore?
"Your heart has the answer," she said.
We walked up to the front door, and Nadia pushed the door bell.
I highly doubt that's gonna work Nad. You could hear the bass two blocks down the street. It was evident that nobody has heard us ring the door bell thirteen times, so we just let ourselves in. The first thing I noticed was the great big yellow banner that said, 'Welcome Back Michael Vaughn'. But the name Michael was crossed out, and Vaughn was written in hand, to replace it. Somebody messed up on that.There were alot of people there. Then everythingwent silent. The lightswent out. Nadia and I just looked at each other in the small light spilling in from the front porch.
"WELCOME BACK!" everyone yelled.
Nadia and I just laughed. I thought Vaughn, was the guest of honor.
"Aw man. Nevermind everyone. It's just Syd and Nadia," Will turned on the lights. That was following by groans, and sighs. The music started up again.
"Sorry we're late," Nadia quickly apologized.There was aslight giggle in her voice. I started to laugh myself.
"Yeah, well, everyone has been here a good half hour now," Will sounded a little disappointed. Francie strolled up behind him.
"We keep thinking that everyone coming through that door is going to be Vaughn," Fran sounded bummed too.
"Did somebody just say my name?" Vaughn asked, walking through the front door, a grin on his face.
"WELCOME BACK!" Nadia and I screamed. Man, everyone else at this joint is slow on getting the right person thing. They even had time to practice.
Vaughn kind of looked startled. But he started to laugh.
"Aw man. Of course when he actually shows up, it doesn't work. What's up with that people?" Will yelled into the crowd in his living room. But no one could hear him. They just kept on talking and dancing.
"Will, that's not the only thing you've gotten wrong tonight," I said, pointing to the yellow banner. Will shrugged.
"It's okay, man. You tried your best," Vaughn said, patting Will on the shoulder. "Cool party though," he continued, scanning the rest of the house. Will did do a good job with the whole party thing. I wassurpised. I seriously thought this would be lame. There were a lot of people though. I didn't even know half of them. Must havebeen some of his sister's friends. I looked around the house too. My gaze ended, looking into Vaughn's eye. I could havebeen lost forever in his green eyes. He just gazed back.
Something broke.
"That better not be the good china!" Will shouted, running into the dining room.
Nadia noticed the intense moment between me and Vaughn. "Hey Fran, is Weiss here?" she asked Francie. I wasstarting to suspect something going on right now.
"Uh, yeah. I think he's this way. I'll help you find him," Francie caught on. Was this planned between them?
"Okay, bye guys," Nadia said over her shoulder, following Fran deeper into the crowded house, leaving me and Vaughn alone. Yup, this was definitely planned.
"So, Syd. Want to get something to drink?" Vaughn offered awkwardly.
"Sure," I said, following him into the kitchen. To my amazement, no one wasthere.
"You still like Mountain Dew?" he asked, reaching into the cooler on the counter.
A smile crept across my face.
"I'll take that as a yes." He tossed me a can of the pop.
"You remembered?" I asked, leaning against the counter.
"Of course I remembered," he said, opening up a can of Coke. Back in the sixth grade, I would get so sugar-high off of Mountain Dew. I would get really hyper with all the caffeine. It has always been my favorite pop. But I don't drink pop much anymore. Anyways, for my birthday one year, he got me two great big liters of Mountain Dew. We drank them both together that morning. Our teacher had to send us home, because we were too jittery to pay attention in class. Since both of my parents had work, we went over to his house, and his Mom took us to the zoo. But as I recall, we got kicked out because we were scaring the monkeys. We were really hyper. I had energy for days. But the only downside was, I had an unbelievable low for a whole entire day. It was like I was depressed. But I had no reason, because I spent that day with Vaughn.
He started to laugh, "You were a lunatic."
"Hey! You were too."
"Syd?"
"Vaughn?"
"Everything's cool between us, right?"
"Why wouldn't they be?" I knew the answer, I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
"I don't know. It's just been different, that's all." Things had been different.
"Yeah,"I was staringat the floor.
"Good. Because I never wanted anything to ruin us - I mean our friendship," he said, his face slightly pink.
"Me too," I blushed.
Everyone had went home about fifteen minutes ago. So it was just me, Vaughn, Fran, Will, Nadia, and Weiss. Our crew, as one could say.
"That was a great party Will. I totally did not expect to have fun," Weiss said. Everyone else laughed.
All Will could do was shrug. His signature move of the night. My signature move of the night was trying to avoid Vaughn after our conversation in the kitchen. I just couldn't look into his amazing green eyes without remembering the memories.
"It was great," Nadia assured Will.
"I had fun," Vaughn added, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack.
"You guys aren't seriously leaving now, are you?" Francie asked, stepping in front of me and Nadia trying to leave. "I say we do something fun, before Syd's big game tomorrow."
"Are you trying to say that soccer isn't fun, Fran?" my bestfriend couldn't honestly think that my favorite sport was boring.
"What'd you have in mind?" Nadia interrupted.
"Well, this may sound a little seventh grader-ish..." Fran started.
Everyone else was still hanging on for her to finish speaking.
"Proceed Francie," Weiss laughed. I think he's the seventh grader. But you have to give him props for trying.
She looked at Vaughn, and then winked at me. "Spin the bottle."
A/N: How did everyone like that chapter? REVIEW! Remember! More reviews equals the next chapter, sooner. Happy reviewing my awesome readers!