Hey everyone, this is Nicky9. I have decided once again to continue writing my fics. You can say I receive inspiration from a very good friend, who wouldn't give up on me. Deseray in the meantime decided to focus more on school. I will only continue to update my fics when I update others. I will try to write most and update most of them at the same time. If anyone has comments, questions, or suggestions, please leave them in your review. Thank you for those who supported Deseray. I don't take flames.

VERY IMPORTANT If you are too young to read this then don't read this. I will warn you that this chapter is based on lemon. If you can't stand them then please don't read. Also please try to understand that this is my first lemon. I have never wrote a lemon before so sorry if this is not good. Really and truly though I think I wrote a good lemon for a beginner.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. I wish I did but I don't. : (

If Only it was Love then Lust

Chapter Eleven

"What was your wife's name again?" asked Kaoru quietly.

"Her name was Tomoe Yukishiro," whispered Battousai turning away from her glance.

Kaoru's eyes widened in shock. She heard that name somewhere. She knew someone a long time ago who carried that name, but after her departure, Kaoru never heard anything about her or from her again. The only thing Kaoru couldn't remember was what the young woman had in relations to her. Were they friends, family of any sort? Did she know her through someone else?

"I loved her with a passion. She was the only woman who mattered to me more then anything. Even when she was around she taught me, there was more to life then just killing. She made me smile again. When I lost her, I lost everything, and continued on with my main mission, that was to avenge my family's death. Being able to track down the murderers by blood scent, I tracked them all the way here to Tokyo," said Battousai indifferently.

There, Kaoru had it. All the information she needed was laid out before her in her head. The murderers were something Tomoe mentioned about. She remembered when Battousai said how his wife-mentioned murders were happening in Tokyo. What happened if she knew where they were going to strike next? If she was murdered like what Battousai believed, did they kill her, pushed her off the tower? But what about delusional state? What made her go crazy after she moved into the new inn with Battousai? So many questions, yet not many answers seemed to appear in her head.

Then all of a sudden she remembered Yahiko. She left him behind in the dojo. She had to run to him. She needed to get to him, for she promised to protect him. Also she had to face the music. Battousai didn't love her. He held his wife so dear to his heart, that it hurt her. He would never love her no matter what the situation. All of her life, having a bad reputation, she was looked upon as a whore. Battousai would never want to be with a whore. Never.

Knowing this, Kaoru turned away from Battousai and ran blindly into the night.

Present

Now the whole story was very different from before. Kaoru was in the dojo yard facing the last person she expected to see. She didn't want to see Battousai, yet he stood right before her. His large hands were placed flat against the dojo gates, while his amber eyes burned with such an intensity of something Kaoru could not say in words. She gulped and backed away slowly from Battousai, afraid that one wrong move would lead him to pounce after her. His eyes spoke of passion, of an intense lust that Kaoru never saw in any man. Any other man, who looked at her with such lust in his eyes, never captured her undivided attention. Never did they make her feel self conscious about herself. Now all she wanted to do was run into her home, and stay there until it was safe to get out the house.

Before she made a move to actually run away from Battousai, she felt the same large hands grabbed her arms. He pinned both of her arms to her sides. Slowly her body was pushed against his hard, lean body. She could feel the intensity of his strength while her back was to him. Her rounded buttocks pushed against his arousal. Feeling this she gasped aloud. How could she act like this? Usually she acted like a temptress. She was good at acting that scene, however, Battousai did something to her, something that was hard to explain. He made her feel like a shy little girl. Just him being around her robbed her of her very breath.

Slowly he turned her around to face him. Her sapphire eyes looked into his passion filled eyes. They held so many secrets, only she wished he were doing this to her out of love and not lust. If only she could form the precious words from her lips I love you. If only she could speak the truth to him, knowing she broke her sacred vow to never fall in love again.

He touched her so gently as though as if she were made out of glass and one hard touch will shatter her to pieces. His hands caressed her face, then moved lower to span her throat. Never did he look away, nor did he say anything. His lips touched her lips briefly, leaving her waiting for more, only he didn't meet her lips. Instead he lightly kissed her eyelids, her nose, her chin and her forehead.

Erotically and slowly Kaoru started to move against him, aching for him, wanting him so badly. Just his light kisses his gentle touches here and there was making her want him. Her mind became dazed, all she could do was feel his hands, feel his light kisses. Her body arched against him, her arms wrapped around his neck to keep him close to her forever. She could smell his sandalwood scent as it invaded her lungs. She could feel his mouth low on her collarbone, pushing aside the kimono she wore. The rain fell on them only heightening her senses, making her feel aware of only him.

His hands moved lower to her breasts, covering them fully. She felt his smile when she gasped so loud at his touching. Her heart pounded endlessly as she felt Battousai fondled with them, making her writhe, moving against him, making her most intimate part meet up with him. Oh, how she wished she could tell him she loved him. How she wished she could tell him everything she felt in her heart for him.

His hands continued to move lower. First they were on her abdomen, then on her hips, and slowly they moved inwards to her thighs, where her intimate part was located. She moved closer to him helplessly. Her mind so confused, her body arching for something, aching for something she didn't know of. Why was she feeling this way for him? How did she fall in love with him in the first place? If only he was doing this to her out of love and not lust.

His hands massaged her thighs, as though as if trying to comfort her. She only moved against him more. Her legs opened more for him as they wrapped around his strong, lean legs. How did this man have so much control? How can he hold so much power over her with only using his hands?

Kaoru a little away from the real world heard a tore. She felt her kimono move away from her hot skin, revealing her bare skin to the world. She could feel the intensity of those burning amber eyes as they watched her pale skin revealed to him. She blushed a little, but knowing that it was only him and not someone else seeing her body calmed her down a bit.

"You are so beautiful. You don't know what you do to me Kaoru," he growled against her skin. Finally he bit the side of her neck so hard; the pain caused her to scream to the rainy dark heavens above. When the pain disappeared, it was replaced by pleasurable feeling, one that sent her whole body shivering. She moaned, as his rough tongue licked away her blood.

Battousai continued to kiss Kaoru softly again as he moved down towards her body. Her cries, her moans, the way she moved against him, made him want her more. He could feel his shaft aching to fill her, aching to give her what she wanted so badly, but he also wanted to explore her, to discover all her secrets. He wanted to make love to her, not fuck her as though she was some kind of whore.

He could tell alone by her erotic movements, by the way she held on tightly to him, that she was inexperienced meaning that this was her first time with a man. He was very pleased to know that he was going to be her first. To know how a young woman like her could hold so much power over his feelings was undeniably strong. He was Battousai an assassin, a killer who killed with no emotions. This young woman was directly an opposite from him. She was compassionate, willing to give her life for total strangers, her talents alone filled him with such burning desire from him to fully possess her, he wanted to claim her as his own.

Hastily without giving anything a thought, he picked her up bridal style, and used his super human reflexes to get them into his room. When they got there, he laid her gently on the futon, while he turned to slide the door to his room shut. It was now or never. He was going to take her fully without waiting ever again. So many times he wanted to do this, but he couldn't. He just didn't want to take the woman without her consent.

With fast movements, he removed his clothing from his body, while his passion filled amber eyes never left Kaoru's now almost black eyes. He could see how lost she looked, her voice whispering to him in the night. As he got on the futon with her, his larger frame moved over her smaller frame. He could feel her hot skin against him, the feeling it brought him made him closed his eyes to savor this moment with the woman he loved. Yes he loved her. He loved her very much. He wanted to confess that to her, but he knew she would never believe him. Only if she knew he was doing this to her out of love and not lust. How could he form from his lips the words I love you.

Kaoru felt him do what he did the very first time they met. He touched her in the most intimate place. She was so sensitive, so aware of his touch against her aching sex, which it caused her to cry out to the ceiling above. She whimpered, she arched against his hand, her body rocking as he set a rhythm for her. He was teaching her the ways to have sex in bed, he was showing her a different world, a world in where not only did she have lust for him, but also she showered him with love.

She wanted to tell him then. She wanted to confess her love for him. But how could she when she couldn't breathe properly? He possessed her here, now and forever. She will always be his, always will she respond to his touch, always will she ache for his kisses, for moments like this only come once in a lifetime.

The whole night was night filled with no regrets. This was the relationship between a man and a woman. The feelings were only stronger, because love was involved. They did the mating ritual as very couple did the mating ritual. It was the oldest ritual of time. If only they knew they doing this out of love and not lust.

It was a tradition that a woman must save her virginity for her wedding night. From the night her hymen, the seal of her virginity was lost which had to be her wedding night, she was forever claimed by her husband. Whatever faith held for her, no one could mess with it, for a woman was considered the male's property. But if there was ever a chance a woman broke this main tradition, she was considered a sin to her family and herself. She would be outcast not only from towns, villages, or cities; her reputation would seek so far for her, that the only thing she would have to give was her life she once owned. Death will be the ultimate result.

Kaoru held that tradition in her heart, in her soul. She never meant to fall in love, far less to think of marriage. Seeing her mother's state, remembering what she went through, Kaoru vowed not to go through making the same mistakes, however, her heart could no longer deny the love she had for Battousai. God, she wanted him in her embrace. She wanted to feel his touch, to feel his mouth on hers. She wanted to hear his whispers, his praises. She wanted to tremble in his arms, while he drunken her with odd sensations she never felt before. She wanted him, and only him.

Yes it was all a sin, a woman who wanted a man, and a man who wanted a woman. It was all sin. Her reputation was considered to be the lowest in Tokyo, just for being born with the blood of sin, for something in her life she thought was unfair. But if she broke her vows, the main tradition that she laid within her heart, it would be proving others true, and her faults she was accused of true. What should she do? Could she fight her love for Battousai any longer? Could she to resist his passion whenever she looked into his flaming amber eyes? Was it all possible? Yes it was. It was possible. After her spent with Battousai, she knew nothing would ever be the same again. Possibly they did it out of love and not lust. More possibly they did it because of their raging hormones. One Kaoru knew was that she loved her Battousai, she loved him so much, and she was willing to devote her life for him.

Kaoru looked beside her to see the fiery red haired samurai sleeping next to her. His arms wrapped possessively around her lithe form, to keep her from not going anywhere. She smiled a pleasant smile, kissed his forehead, and gently whispered to him, "I love you." She then closed her eyes, and let sleep claim her.

Only then, when Kaoru was fully sleeping, Battousai eyes opened, at the startling new furtive.