A mercenary for hire.
That's what I am, thought the blonde as he wandered outside. A mercenary. One who relied solely on orders and not emotions. If he'd had any need for emotions, he had overcome it some time ago. Rather, he had willingly discarded it.
To lose someone so close is to die to love... Those were his very thoughts when Milea abandoned Bastion that day at Merania Temple, for the situation reminded him of a young lady he had once shared a close bond with. Their relationship had started out as teacher and student, but became more with time. The night they made love only served as the beginning of the end--so many fights and disagreements made not only their relationship difficult, but eventually the lessons as well.
Her spirit was broken indefinitely; she became full of bitterness and resentment when it came to him, but something else took residence at the bottom of her heart. It was a mix of sadness, loneliness, and a longing to have been accepted, for her real self to have been fully embraced and provided with a complete sense of security. He could not provide her that, however.
He was just a mercenary for hire.
How could he provide her that security when their entire world dealt in the art of insecurity? The only true security was that the highest bidder would get the service, and, at times, even that idea lacked security.
A surplus of expectations on both sides eventually led them on their separate ways. Their final lesson ended in the most unemotional goodbye. In the process of moving on, he had vowed never again to become emotionally attached to another woman. To make certain of this, he courted many women, keeping their encounters strictly to that of a physical nature.
That began to change, however, as he traveled in the company of the prince. There was a certain young lady in the group, one he sensed even from the beginning was quite special. She rejected his advances, but the rejection made him want to pursue her more. It was not out of fear of not being accepted by her, but rather, admiration of her self-respect.
But as time passed, that feeling of admiration grew into something more, at least for him. He knew not if she had similar feelings for him. This did not bother him, but soon he was feeling what he had sworn long ago not to. And he would not be able to contain such an emotion that was growing day to day for much longer.
It was nightfall. The traveling allies had stopped to rest at the fortress where they had barely made their feat that day. Two Sharking models and four Imperial bodyguards could have easily overwhelmed them, thanks to their ATACs' sabotaging, courtesy of Faulkner. However, through skill, tactics, determination, and teamwork, they had emerged victorious.
He remembered looking around to see if a certain young woman had made it through the battle safely--or at least, as safely as one could in a battle. Not only had she made it through, she was at her usual place--at Bastion's side, forever cheering him on.
Though he had nothing but respect and admiration for Bastion, Andrew couldn't help but feel a little jealous. It was not jealousy of the prince having the woman's affections, but of him having her attention. But he harbored no negative feelings toward either one of them and could accept the situation whether or not the two became romantically involved.
However, there was something nagging incessantly at him still--these feelings that drew nearer and nearer to the surface. They were becoming a weight on his chest, something that could only be relieved by disclosure. Granted, most of his friends, including her, were already aware of his interest in her, but none knew the depth. He himself did not know for some time; just recently, he had taken the time to evaluate these feelings whenever he speculated some other man had taken interest in her.
Initially, Andrew had been drawn to her looks. She was young, blonde, beautiful, and if she had been like any of the other warm bodies he had spent the night with, she would have made a fine bunkmate. The interest would pass shortly afterward. But there was more to this girl, aside from self-respect. She was strong, adventurous, and though she was prone to making many an indigestible meal, she was an extremely caring individual. She often gave her sympathy to those in need, supported her leader, and never got in the way of those who needed to be together. These were just a few things he admired about her.
His admiration was growing into something more, he knew. It was a powerful feeling, much like the one he had while teaching that first young lady, and it was growing stronger. He had been unable to admit the extent of this feeling, but he knew he would soon enough. He did not want this to stay inside him. He wanted her to know. If not to know his chances or to have her laugh in his face, then at least to get on with his life.
The life of a bachelor...that's the life of a mercenary who seeks nothing more than different nightly companions...
There was the creak of a door. Andrew turned, surprised; he was certain he would be the only one out there on that balcony.
A flowing of robes followed the blonde girl that had stepped out. Though it was his habit to stare, he was doing so this time due to the person's identity.
"Reyna?" he called out quietly. "It's late. What are you doing out here?"
"Oh," the startled female replied. "I was certain I was the only one out here."
Andrew smirked. "I was just thinking the same thing about myself a second ago."
"Oh...well...if you want the balcony all to yourself, I don't mind. I'll just find some other way to calm my nerves."
"Don't worry about it. It gets real boring listening to the wind. So, nervous about the last battle?"
"Aren't you?"
"Nah...though I have to admit I'm surprised we got this far."
"Yes..." replied Reyna with a saddened look. "Many times it seemed the odds were against us, but somehow we managed to get through it all."
"That's right," said Andrew. "We made it through on our own skill. And our victories in the past should be a pretty good indicator of what's in store."
"I wish I had your confidence, Andrew."
He didn't answer. He found himself staring at the young lady, studying her overall appearance. She wore a long, silk lavender nightgown with a loose-fitting matching robe. Her hair, which was normally tied up, hung loosely over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes, incredibly beautiful and unchanging, remained fixed on his, as if to probe at the young man's soul.
"What is it? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Hmm." Andrew could only reply with a smile that was barely visible.
Reyna became slightly annoyed. "What's so amusing? Is it the gown? It's the only one I could bring along, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep any unpleasant remarks to yourself."
"It's not the gown, though with your permission, I'd like to say you look stunning in it."
"Then what are you smiling at?...And...thank you."
"No problem," he said. "I was thinking about what you just said about confidence. Sure, I have it. Whenever I'm on a battlefield, I'm pretty confident that I have the skills and training to handle anything I encounter. But when it comes to long-term stuff, I'm not as confident. Rather, I don't allow myself to think about it that much. I can be confident here in the present but be surprised when a future goal has finally been attained."
"Hmm..." The young woman thought for a moment. "That makes sense. I'm that way, too, to a certain extent. I've been pretty confident in my skills too, but I can't predict the outcome of any war. But then, who can?"
"Hopefully not the person thinking they have the most power, because I've got my heart set on kicking Faulkner's ass. I'd hate for him to disappoint me."
Reyna smiled. "I'd hate for you to disappoint us. Remember the last time you nearly ended up a chew toy for the Imperial soldiers."
"You and Bastion saved my ass that time," Andrew admitted. "But I vow never to let that happen again." Especially if it puts you in unnecessary danger, he added to himself.
"I suppose there's some kind of macho code embedded in the genes of all males," said Reyna. "But it's fine. Training with the Avalon Corps, I've learned to live with it."
"Yeah...I guess."
"Andrew."
"What?"
"You're staring again."
"Is that a problem? Or do you want me to face the door when I talk to you?"
"That's...not what I meant," said Reyna.
"Heh...I know. It's just, when I'm away at battle, it's rare to be graced with such a lovely presence."
She groaned. "Andrew."
"I'm not putting you on or anything," he insisted. "And believe it or not, I'm not trying to get you to put out, either. I don't mean any offense by what I say. I'm just being honest."
"I see. Andrew?"
"Hmm?"
"What's it like? Your life, I mean."
"Heh. I suppose it'd be wishful thinking if you meant loving the ladies, but assuming you're talking about my life as a ninja, there isn't really a simple answer to that."
"Oh. Do you ever have regrets about anything you've done?"
"In terms of secret missions, no. An assassin isn't paid to regret. I'm surprised you're asking me this, though. Isn't that a sort of question that can apply to any soldier?"
Reyna smiled sadly. "Yes...I suppose."
"Why? Is there something you regret doing as an Avalon soldier?"
"No...not really. Well...I do regret what happened to Ione's father, but I also know we weren't in control of that."
"No, we weren't." Andrew grew quiet for a moment. "There is something I regret, but not on a mission."
Reyna's expression became intrigued. "Oh?"
"A while back...um..." He fumbled in speech for the first time, seeming genuinely embarrassed about something. "Actually, nevermind. It isn't good to talk about it."
"What?"
Andrew looked into the woman's eyes and found himself relenting. "Heh."
How could I not tell you when you look at me like that? he thought.
"Well...it had to do with a lovely lady who became my student in the ninja arts. Long story short, we got involved, and it messed up both our friendship and student-teacher relationship."
"I see..."
"I, uh, didn't mean for any of it to happen. In fact, neither of us did. But it happened. We then grew apart, and...I haven't seen her since." Andrew's face was growing warm, but he wasn't sure if it was because he was baring his soul or because he was feeling a little bit of fear toward what she was probably thinking at that moment.
Reyna, however, said the unexpected.
"I'm sorry, Andrew."
The ninja smiled to himself, a tiny smile. "Don't be. It happened a long time ago. But it stays there in the back of the mind, you know? I don't miss her in that way, but I feel like I had no real closure."
"Did...did you love her?"
"Honestly?...Yeah. I did. And I hated the fact that she got hurt. We knew each other for a while, but the relationship itself started off pretty fast. We expected too much from one another. Or maybe it was that she expected too much and I didn't expect enough. All I know is that it didn't bode well for us."
"No, I suppose it wouldn't," Reyna commented softly, turning her gaze away.
"But enough about my love life, or lack of one," Andrew said, clearing his throat.
"No, I don't have any similar regrets there, either," Reyna replied quickly.
"Huh?"
"You were about to ask the same of me, weren't you?"
"No, I wasn't. It isn't my business to pry."
Reyna smiled sheepishly, the darkness concealing the growing redness on her cheeks. "Yes, you're right...oh!"
"What?"
"A shooting star..." she said, gazing up at the sky.
"So it is," he said, noticing the tone of her voice. "What, are you going to make a wish, or something?"
Reyna's face was turning red. "No...yes...shut up."
"...I didn't say anything."
"It was written all over your face."
"What was?"
"You don't have to knock it--"
"Reyna, just make the damn wish," Andrew told her. "If you're that embarrassed about it, I'll make one too."
"Sorry." With a smirk, she brought her gaze back to the skies. "Now, let's see..." Folding her arms, she leaned back slightly, her robes unintentionally brushing up against the ninja. "It has to be a good wish..."
Well...I know what I'm wishing for, Andrew thought, using every bit of his strength to prevent this from turning vocal. Strangely, however, he did not mean it in an impure way. Still, he kept his thoughts to himself, not wanting to ruin this little scene.
If I ever stopped being a playboy...and had my choice of who to spend the rest of my life with...
It'd be you, Reyna...
Man, she smells nice...I wouldn't mind waking up with that every morning...
"Andrew?" Reyna asked, turning around. "What's wrong?"
"Uh..." He pressed his fingertips into the skin of his midsection, making a face. "Just tasting that meatloaf you made earlier. That stuff packs a wallop, you know."
"Oh, quiet, you."
"Heh, heh. So, what did you wish for?"
"Several things...mostly good fortune. I wish for victory, of course, but afterward, I'd like it if good fortune continued for everyone." She paused. "Even you, Andrew."
"Really?" he asked. "That's funny. In my wish, I threw in a little something for you, too."
"Is that so?" Reyna asked, looking intrigued. "What did you wish for?"
With a sly smile, he gazed at her, responding in all his Andrew glory. "For you to marry a chef."
"Andrew!"
He let out another laugh. "But...in all seriousness, I'm sure you'll make some lucky fellow happy one day. Someone who could care less about the quality of your cooking."
"Uh...thanks, Andrew...I think." She stood there for a moment, thinking about the man's words. Why would he say that? I figured he'd be the last person to talk about marriage... Realizing she was starting to blush, Reyna moved away from Andrew and took in more of the balcony view. "I don't know why you complain about being out here, Andrew. How could you not appreciate this incredible sight? The plains, the hills, the stars...it...it all looks so beautiful from up here." She sighed deeply. "How still and peaceful..." That's when it hit her. "Peaceful..."
"Yeah, well...anyway, the night air was just what I needed," Andrew said. "I'll be turning in now. Good night, Reyna."
"Andrew, wait."
The ninja stopped in his tracks. "What is it?"
"The wind..." Reyna continued. "It's completely absent, as it has been since the moment I came out here."
Andrew was silent for a while, but then he turned around. "So it is."
"Then why did you--"
Andrew's mysterious stare caused Reyna to decide mid-question that she didn't want an answer.
Reyna could feel her face growing warm again, and she turned away from him. "G-good night, Andrew."
"Back at ya," came the eventual response, followed by the opening and shutting of a door.