I don't own squat, Disney does. I like writing thoughts like this, it's so easy to slide into the character, and just let the thoughts flow out.
Bonnie's Curse – Interlude 1
Bonnie's POV
I don't know why I didn't just take my sleeping pills like I usually do. I guess I just thought, if I had a little last minute intel, I could help out. That was a mistake. Oh God, the visions, they just kept coming and coming, and I couldn't stop them. So much pain, so much hurt, all of it, and nothing that could help. Images of dozens of other people, nothing that could help with tonight. And now, here I am, just holding myself, trying to put a fake smile over the pain. If I just saw it all, just images, it wouldn't be so bad. But I feel it, all of it, every bit of pain and suffering and joy and... all of it. And last night was one of the worst. I felt the pain, and tried to get away, but I couldn't. And then, that voice, drawing me back. It took so long to reach that voice, but it guided me out. And then, I woke up, and there was Ron... and he just held me, held me as I cried. And then, he actually sang to me. He wasn't the best singer, not by a long shot, but as he held me and sang, I just... felt safe. Safe to let my guard down, safe to just let it out all there. I just cried and cried, let all the pain flow out of me, and he just held me, and kept me safe, like when my father used to when I was young. Now, my father thinks I'm too old to be pampered like that, but Ron just seemed to... know what I needed. He kept me safe, safe until I could sleep again.
It was only a couple hours till I woke again, but it was a couple hours sleep that were completely uneventful. No dreams, no visions, just a feeling of safety and security. Ron was gone when I awoke, but I know he had stuck around, just long enough to know I was safe. For the first time in a long time, I woke up without a headache, without being scared to face the day. For the first time, I felt like I could handle the day, and it was all thanks to Ron.
Ron, oh God, I can't help but crush on him, just a little bit. I mean, what's not to love. He's funny, he's kind, and he's sensitive. And then there's the side he rarely ever shows, his strength, his passion, the fact that, no matter what you need at that particular time, he'd be there for you. Granted, he's got that whole natural "Ron-ness", but I know it's as much an act as what I put on. It's easy to spot a cover when you've been using one for so long. I know how much emotion he's got bottled up in there, how much love and compassion, how much hate and rage, he's covered it all with this disguise of his own. I know how much each comment he hears affects him, and it tears me up inside that I contributed to that, no matter how important it was at the time to slow them down or delay them. And Ron, despite the pain that I caused him, still had enough love in his heart to hold me and help me through my pain. How can you not love someone like that!
When you create a cover for yourself like that, to protect yourself, it's hard to let people in to see the real you. I doesn't matter if you're popular, or an "outcast" like Ron, letting people see the real you is scary. Ron has Kim, and I am so glad she finally realized that, and I, I have Tara! She has been the only real friend I have had in so long, the only person I ever let past my guard. She's been there for me; she's supported me, when I couldn't even talk to my own family. Hell, she's been closer to me than my family has in a long time, like a sister. I could tell her anything, she could tell me anything. She doesn't judge me, she just accepts me for who I am. That's what upset me when I found out about Hirotaka. I thought he was someone I could let in, someone I could be myself with, someone I wouldn't have to pretend with. And when I found out why he had been in my life in the first place, I was hurt. Years we had been talking, and he had come into my life under false pretenses. I know he had his reasons for lying, I mean, I never did tell him what I could do, so I guess I was lying myself, but it still hurt. I know I'll forgive him, I know what we've built had nothing to do with the lie, but it's a loss of trust. I just have to forgive him, I have to, I've got so few people in my life like him.
Why did these visions have to come to me? Why did I have to suffer with this? I wish they could just leave me alone, let me live my life, the way I want to. I'm just so tired... I just want to rest...
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Ron's POV
I can't believe I saw Bonnie like that. She's always been so sure of herself, so confident, I can't believe the change I've seen in her in the last 24 hours. I knew she could be nice, that she had emotions like everyone else, but I never thought she could be so different from the cover she portrayed. I mean, I knew it was all cover, that much I knew before what she told us today, but I didn't realize just how hurt she really was. She must be so much stronger than I gave her credit for, if this is any indication of how her nights can go. She's always there, always looking her best, getting on everyone's case. Now there's this whole new side to her, one that's scared and vulnerable and looking to be accepted.
I wonder how long she's been hiding herself for, she's always seemed to have been like this since I've known her when she joined us in middle school. To bury herself, to hide her feelings, for so long, it can't be healthy. I know what that can do, and it's never good. Kim told me about Bonnie's family, and it's no wonder she created the persona to guard herself. She's probably only ever had Tara to talk to, I've at least had Kim, and my family... and Kim's folks... and Monique, and... damn, I just realized how lucky I am! I've always had someone I could talk to, at any time of day. Bonnie hasn't had that, that safety net I always had when I couldn't maintain the front. I never realized just how lonely she could be. She always had so many people around her, but I guess being around people doesn't equal people she could turn to. I know Bonnie doesn't like me all that much, but I hope she knows she can turn to me if she needs to unload, to let loose and release all that pain she's holding inside. No one should have to carry that by themselves.
I should talk to KP about this. Well, not everything of course, just the main parts about talking to Bonnie when she needs it. I mean, I know Kim doesn't like Bonnie that much, but even she can't deny that Bonnie could use the help. And of course, I have to make it clear to Bonnie that this is just an offer, and not a pity move, cause she would not take that well. Hell, I wouldn't take that well, and I'm the laid back Ron-man.
Oh great, I'm even trying to delude myself now.
Uhh... this whole vision thing scares me. I mean, could I really snap like that? I mean, I love Kim, but could I really go that far, to butcher a man in cold blood for revenge? That's what frightens me, because I think I could.
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Kim's POV
Bonnie was crying. Not just a little bit, but pretty much a full-blown breakdown. I could hear the noise from my room, but by the time I got there, Ron was already there. Even though I knew what was going on, I even got a little bit jealous. After all, Ron had never sung to me before (and he does not have the best voice for it), and just yesterday I would have accused her of some plot to cause trouble between Ron and me. It's amazing what 24 hours can do to your perceptions of a person. I mean, I knew she had it rough at home, but this just puts it in a whole new perspective! I mean, she'd never have approached her sisters or Mom about this, and I've never even met her Dad. Just seeing her so... vulnerable and scared, I had no idea what to do there. I only stayed to watch for a few seconds, to make sure she was all right, but it looked like Ron hand it all in hand.
Ron, he's always been such a... Ron, but just seeing him holding her, singing to her, you truly see who he is. Not just some goof always cracking joke, but the man I've loved most of my life, who knew just what to do to make you feel just a little bit better. The man who knew how to take your cares away with a few simple words or a hand on your shoulder. Since becoming a couple, I've begun to see more and more of that side of Ron, and it's amazing what he can do. I just wish he had the confidence to show that more often, to take charge not just when the chips are down, but in everyday situations. I don't know why he doesn't, he won't talk about it, and I don't want to pry and make him uncomfortable or upset, but if he displayed this side of himself all the time, I don't think there'd be anything he couldn't do. I mean, I'd almost think he was... self-conscious if it wasn't for the fact he always put himself out there. And for someone always putting himself out there, so much of him remains a mystery, even to me. I just hope I can find the answers as we go through life together!
Oh geez, I'm thinking marriage already, after just a few months. I better not tell my parents about this... well... maybe Mom.
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Tara's POV
Bonnie just had to get involved, didn't she? She just couldn't let them handle it themselves. She takes on so much by herself, I'm afraid it's going to kill her one of these days. No one knows just how much she's hurting with all this stuff she's going through, she doesn't even tell me all the time, but I can just see it. The haunted look in her eyes after a bad nights sleep, but acting like everything is fine by the time we get to school. Constantly taking pills to get rid of the headaches, or just to get a good night sleep. I wish there was something more I could do to help her, help take some of the burden off her shoulders, but all I can do is be there for her.
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Rufus' POV
I hate being... achoo... sick. I was looking forward to Japan. Sensei always had cheese for me, and … choo… I wanted to see Yori and the school again. But no, I get sick and get stuck with… ACHOO… Jim and Tim! I swear, if they put me in one more experimental rocket, I am so gonna bite them!
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Yori's POV
I knew I should have told Ron how I felt sooner, and now he's gone. The love of his life has realized her feelings for him, and I've lost my chance to be with him. Maybe it's for the best. After all, if I had gotten closer when they realized their love, it would have only hurt more. At least, as it is now, I can move on.
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Author's notes – This chapter just flowed. When you can get into each character individually and just… become, the writing is easy. Also, I realized I had completely neglected Rufus, so I had some fun here with him, however briefly. Thanks to;
MatthewC – I agree, and I explained some of the why here, while some of the rest can be seen later.
As well as ContraSerj, Mobius97, Daeron Blackoak, and Darkcloud1.
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The following is strictly a science lesson, and has nothing to do with the story itself. I just wanted to write it.
Science Lesson (I'm a nerd, sue me. Wait, don't sue, I have nothing) –
There is a scientific basis for the theory of premonition. Many simply believe that certain minds are able to quickly interpret the situation before them and subconsciously determine the most probable outcome, that they are not so much seeing the future as determining the most likely possibility. The sensation of deja vu is the primary basis for this theory, and it is believed that those who experience this sensation more often have a greater grasp of their own subconscious, and therefore better able to foresee probabilities.
That does not explain all such cases though. In a rare number of cases (so small that no real scientific study has been properly conducted due to the small test size), there are subjects who experience visions in a different manner. The subject's brain patterns dip below the delta band, common of REM sleep, and are seen as minute spikes on any instrument sensitive enough to detect them. While sleep provides the best outlet for these visions, instances do occur where the waking mind can briefly dip into that "bandwidth".
5 cases have been documented, though not published, and there does not seem to be any correlation between lifestyle and/or living conditions. Of the 5 cases documented to my awareness, 2 live in Australia, with one each in the US, Canada, and Great Britain. The primary aspects that have been determined thus far include (considering the very small sample size);
Women tend to be more sensitive to the effects, and therefore experience more powerful and more frequent visions.
Visions tend to begin in a subject starting at the age of as early as 4, and continue through adulthood, but tend to have been stronger and more frequent between the ages of 8 and 21.
After the age of 21, the frequency tends to drop off slowly, in men much more dramatically then women.
As stated, visions tend occur more frequently during sleep, and do interrupt the sleep cycle in such a way as to reduce the overall effective of REM sleep on the subject's physical and mental state.
History has documented a number of cases, though not conclusively, of such phenomena occurring. Cassandra, of ancient Greece, as well as a number of individuals from different cultures, led to the earliest documentation as to the possibility of such phenomena existing.
I only brought this up because there is much more to the world than we always see. I leave it up to you, the reader, as to whether you believe or not. After all, it is the choices we make, and the beliefs we hold onto and determine for ourselves, that shape who we are!