"No way. You want to know who he is. You wake him up."
"Fine. I will."
Legolas slowly drifted back to the waking world, drawn back as he felt someone poking his shoulder. He rolled over, and subsequently fell off the bench he had been sleeping on. He sat up with a groan, and looked over at his visitors. They were unlike anything he'd ever seen; they were shorter than Dwarves, with mops of curly hair and large, hairy feet. Obviously, they were garden gnomes that had somehow come to life. And everyone knows garden gnomes are symbolically evil.
As quickly as molasses in January, Legolas drew his hunting knife and leapt to his feet. "What are such creatures as you doing here, in Imladris? I thought evil was banned from this place!"
The pair of gnomes shrank back when they saw the dagger. "I'm Merry Brandybuck, and this is Pippin Took, my kinsman," the taller gnome said, his voice tinged with a hint of fear.
"And we're not evil," the other gnome, Pippin, spoke up. He was silenced by a glance from the gnome called Merry.
"Yeah, we're not. We came with Frodo and Strider, and Lord Elrond said he'd let us stay here for the time being," said Merry. "So, uh, please don't kill us."
"If you have won the trust of Lord Elrond, then I shall tolerate your presence. For now." Legolas sheathed his knife, but didn't relax his guard. These gnomes were clearly up to something, and Legolas knew it wasn't anything good. He would have to keep an eye on these gnomes.
"Thanks," Pippin said, offering an amiable grin which the Elf did not return. "So… why were you sleeping on a bench? Has Lord Elrond run out of beds?"
"Hardly," Mirkwood's prince replied with a derisive snort. "But I was given faulty directions, so I do not know where they are."
"Oh. Okay," the gnome replied. "So, you hungry? Merry and I were just going to get something to eat."
Legolas paused, wondering if he could trust these two gnomes. He was hungry, but he didn't fancy dying because some gnome poisoned his wine. Such a death wouldn't look at all well in the archives. He surveyed the gnomes once more. They didn't seem like the brightest the foul gnome empire had to offer, and he was rather hungry…
"All right. Lead on, little gnomes," Legolas said.
"Little what?" Merry exclaimed. "We're Hobbits, not gnomes. Gnomes are creepy statues that hang out in gardens."
"Of course they are," Legolas patronized, letting the gnomes think they had fooled him. Hobbits? What sort of creature would take the name 'Hobbit'? With a sigh of resignation and a hidden eyeroll, the gnome called Merry led Mirkwood's prince to the kitchens.