A/N: This one made me cry as I wrote it. Don't know what came over me.
She lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Tears streamed from her eyes, running into her ears, but she didn't make a sound. She didn't want to worry the man beside her.
Cautiously, Helen turned to look at him. Never had she imagined that she'd meet a man like Will Girardi, especially after that horrible . . . . Helen stopped the thought. She didn't want to remember it. Not now when everything seemed good again. And possible. Will's hand caressed her where it lay on her bare stomach. A thrill of happiness shot through her. A whimper escaped her and, covering her mouth, she turned her head away so as not to wake Will.
They'd met a year and a half ago in a deli. She'd bumped into him on his way out. He'd steadied her and, realizing that she was crying, tried to make her feel better. At first, she'd been skittish. After the horrible . . . after the event in her dorm room, she avoided most men. But Will's kindness coupled with his cop uniform calmed her enough so that she let him lead her to a table.
Once she was seated, he'd insisted on buying her lunch. When she'd asked if he didn't have somewhere more important he needed to be, he'd said he was off-duty and wouldn't feel right if he left a pretty young lady such as herself so unhappy. So they'd eaten their lunch together and talked about nothing in particular.
Not once during their conversation did he ask her what made cry. It was like he knew instinctively that she wouldn't tell him. But when they were done, he'd asked if he could have her number. She'd balked, panicking at the thought of this stranger knowing how to reach her even if he was a cop. Before she could refuse, he'd held up his hand. "Or how about we have lunch again?"
"Okay," she'd said, surprised that she'd agreed.
They'd arranged to meet at the same time next week. Soon, it became a part of her routine. Tuesdays at one she met Will and they talked and ate and sometimes he even made her laugh. Then, in addition to their weekly lunch appointment, they were going to the movies and the bowling alley and concerts together. Before she knew it, the kind officer was a fixture in her life. Someone she depended on. Someone she wanted to be with. Someone she was developing feelings for. And she hadn't told him the truth about her.
One day, about six months after they'd met, he'd taken her to dinner. She'd sat across from him, trying to figure out how to tell him. How would he take it? Would he want to see her anymore? What if he thought that she was tainted, that she'd wasted his time when he could have been spending it with someone whole? "Will?" she'd whispered, feeling like the room was closing in on her. "I have to tell you something."
"All right."
And she'd told him, forced herself to say the words even though she couldn't compel herself to look at him. Finally she'd stopped talking and waited for his reaction. When he didn't say anything, she'd gathered her courage and looked up at him. The fury burning in his eyes took her aback, scared her even. She'd gathered her purse and, swallowing back the tears at the back of her throat, nodded. "I understand." She'd scooted along the booth cushion, desperate to escape the look in his eyes.
He caught her hand. "Helen?" She didn't answer. "Look at me," he'd requested gently.
Blinking to rid her eyes of the tears she didn't want him to see, she did as he asked.
"What do you understand?" he'd asked, his voice rough.
"I understand you not wanting to see me anymore," she whispered, her throat too clogged with tears to talk any louder.
He'd looked at her as if she'd said the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "Of course, I still want to see you."
"You do? You don't think that I'm defective, that I'm . . ."
"Oh, Helen." Will got up and slid into the booth next to her. "There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me? Nothing. I only wish I could kill the bastard who did this to you."
She'd tried to smile, but found that she couldn't. She'd closed her eyes and laid her head on Will's shoulder. He'd wrapped his arms around her and held her like he never intended to let her go. The tears she'd been holding back came then.
After she'd composed herself, Will had taken her home. At her door, he'd pulled her into his arms. "There's no rush, Helen. We'll take it as slow as you need. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to."
She'd leaned into him, a happy, relieved smile on her face. "I don't want you to go anywhere."
"I'm glad."
She pulled back ready to go inside. When he said her name, she raised her eyes to his face to find his eyes locked on her lips. "May I?" he'd whispered.
It had surprised her how much she wanted his kiss. She'd nodded. "Please."
Will's lips claimed hers in a soft, impossibly gentle kiss. He'd pulled back just as it was on the verge of becoming more passionate. Ignoring the tiny sound of protest she made, Will brushed his lips over her forehead. "In time, sweetheart. I promise."
Now, a year to the date, she lay in bed beside him for the first time. They'd tried this a few times before, but Helen had never been able to go through with it. Tonight, they'd been sitting on his couch watching television when a casual kiss turning into passion. Before either knew what was happening, they'd found themselves in his bed. Will worshipped every inch of her, praising her with every kiss, every caress. When neither could hold back any longer, he'd rolled her on top of him. "I'm all yours," he'd told her as his hands slid up her thighs to lightly hold her hips. He'd followed her lead, letting her set the pace before finally guiding her to a explosive climax. Afterwards, he held her as she trembled and tried to breathe normally. "I love you, Helen," he'd whispered in her hair. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again. Ever."
She'd tried to tell him how she felt, how grateful she was to him for showing her that she could feel this way, but she couldn't get the words out so she'd clung to him and felt perfectly safe for the first time since the incident.
Now he was asleep and the intensity of the evening overwhelmed Helen as she attempted to stifle her tears. She choked back a sob just as his thumb grazed her stomach.
"Helen?"
"Hmm?" She didn't look at him.
The bed shifted as he rose up on his elbow and tried to see her face. "Was it too soon?"
Her eyes jerked to his face then, dismayed to see remorse and fear in his eyes. Helen cupped his cheek in her hands and smiled. "No."
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because I'm happy," she admitted. "Because I didn't think this would happen for me."
Will blinked back tears of his own and kissed her palm. He gasped her name, suddenly as overwhelmed as she was.
She leaned up and kissed him deeply. Staring intensely into his eyes, she said the words she'd never thought she'd ever say to a man. "I love you, too, Will."