A/N: Hello! I'm updating again!
Gilthas: About time. I thought you never would. There has been a definate lack of writing going on lately.
Me: shuffles uncomfortably Yeah, we've been on a ton of bike rides lately. We're training, you see, for Ragbrai.
Gilthas: rolls his eyes Ragbrai, Ragbrai, Ragbrai. That's all you ever want to do anymore!
Me: ...do you...er...even know what Ragbrai is?
Gilthas: ...no.
Me: It's a bike ride. It's 490 miles. On your bike. One week. 7 days. Day after day after day. Getting up and riding 70 miles. That's why we have to train. So we don't die.
Gilthas: ...Oh. Well you could have written between trainings!
Me: Granted. But normally I just took a shower and then did nothing. Oh! By the way, happy Fourth of July Americans!
John Adams: I see fireworks!
Me: Yay! I'm going to have to watch 1776 today. I like the song, 'Cool, Cool, Considerate Men', but you can only watch it on the extended addition.
Gilthas: That's nice. Now let these poor people read your story. Because they hate you for not updating.
Me: I was WAITING to get some more reviews! Eight! sigh Well, you'll all be happy to know that I'm working on a 3003 sequel as well. This one's just taking precedence.
Gilthas: What's it called?
Me: ...3004. What else?
Chapter 5: Guilt
Harry's thoughts whirled and he turned from Malfoy's bed with a jerk. Waving a hand, Harry found himself seconds later at the house of his former professor...again.
But this time it was different. This time there were no wards to get through. They were just gone. Either someone had completely defeated them instead of just slipping through, or else Lupin had been completely foolish and removed them. He couldn't make himself believe the latter.
Silent as death, Harry made his way to the house. He couldn't believe that Draco would be so careless as not leaving guards outside, but Harry had spent years learning to be invisible and now he could take cheese from a mouse and it not stop nibbling. Draco Malfoy's guards would be no harder. Besides, even if one of them did suddenly gain a pair of eyes, it wasn't as though they'd have time to speak before they were rendered unable to do so.
Something in the back of his mind muttered at him that he shouldn't be doing this. He was stopping. He wasn't a weapon anymore. He wasn't spending his life hunting Death Eaters. He pushed it away. Some things were more important than himself.
He did not use the door. To do so would have been a foolish move for certainly that was where the most gaurds were. He concidered briefly simply Apparating inside, but rejected it instantly. He could suddenly appear right in front of a Death Eater who would shout before Harry had time to see him.
He crept foreward at the quickest pace he trusted himself to take, his ears straining for any sort of noise. There was nothing. He moved faster still, an omonous feeling growing inside him. Normally when things were so quiet, it meant... he forced himself to stop thinking about it.
He reached a window and peered inside. It was pitch blackness everywhere. Where was Lupin? Waving a hand at the window, Harry unlocked it and slid it open in one smooth motion. Picking himself up carefully, he climbed inside and landed silently on the hard wooden floor. His eyes gradually adjusted to the dark and he was able to make out distinct shapes. Creeping carefully, he saw a shape that wasn't furniture, a shape that looked distinctly human.
Carelessly holding out a had, palm up, he summoned a light without actually thinking what he was doing. He bent down to the figure on the floor and turn him over from his face down position. It was Lupin...and he had a bloody gash on top of his head, the bloody running down the side of his face. Ignoring the wound, he felt for a pulse. It was there, but very weak.
Thinking quickly of the healing magic he had learned, he cringed. Most of his magics were for tiredness and broken bones. As much as he hated to admit it, if something like this hit him, he could probably tune it out continue fighting. But he had trained himself. Lupin had not. And Harry had never prepared to heal something so...simple. Lupin's problem now was how long he had lain there unattended.
Conjuring a piece of cloth from nothing and wetting it with water that wasn't there, he hurriedly began cleaning the wound. Suddenly he froze. Someone else was in the house with them. They had just entered using the front door.
Every fiber of Harry's being was on edge, waiting for that person to enter the room. His muscles jarred horribly when he heard someone shout, "Remus? Are you here? Remus!"
Sirius Black entered the room then, his wand tip lit. "Those Muggle contraptions in there aren't giving off any light," he said, looking around the room as he walked in. "So I-" He stopped when he saw Harry. Then his eyes traveled down to Remus. "Moony!" he yelled, hurrying to Harry's side and bending down next to his friend. "What happened?"
"Malfoy," Harry said. "I got here too late. Not that I could have arrived any quicker."
Sirius didn't appear to be listening. He had snatched up the cloth from Harry's hand and was dabbing Remus's head to get rid of the blood. "Can't you heal him?"
Harry frowned. "I'm a fighter, not a healer."
"We have to do something! We--" He stopped as Remus's eyes fluttered open. "Harry!" he said when he saw him. "Draco! He--" Remus's eyes rolled back into his head and Sirius leapt foreward with a yell.
"He's just unconscious," Harry said quickly. "I would know if he died."
"We have to get him out of here!" Sirius said. "But we can't Apparate! We can't carry Remus that way and besides, they're monitoring the house so they'll know if we do!"
"Got it," Harry said. Grabbing Remus's wrist in one hand and Sirius's in the other, he concentrated. The next second his molecules were rearranging and he was speeding to St. Mungo's. He couldn't actually see himself moving or feel himself moving, but somehow he knew he was and the next second he, Sirius, and Remus were all sitting on the floor of the waiting room in St. Mungo's.
"What was that?" Sirius asked. "You did it before, 5 years ago when you got me out of the veil."
"Long story," Harry said. "It's my way around Anti-Apparition spells."
"Well, let's get Remus in a ward," Sirius said quickly. He called loudly, "Healers? Is there anyone who can help?"
There was a moment of pause and then hurried footsteps were heard. Three people came into the room, more importantly, three healers.
"He needs help," Sirius said.
Two of the healers exchanged panicked looks but the third instantly took control.
"Bring him with me. I can find him a ward and bring the healers in."
"Healers?" Sirius asked quickly as Harry levitated Remus after her, his hood again pulled low. "I thought you were healers!"
"We're the nightshift," said one of the two other healers hurriedly. He glanced at the woman who had taken charge. "We're just studing. We really don't know what we're doing."
The woman rounded on him in an instant. "You better figure it out fast! You!" She snapped at the third nightshift person. "Get the healers! Now!"
The woman jumped as though branded and hurried in the other direction.
"In here," she said, opening a door and holding it as Harry levitated Remus though and put him on the bed. Harry blinked from within his hood as he passed her. Something was...strange. He was instantly wary but said nothing. It was not a good strange nor a bad strange, it was just different, but Harry had learned long ago not to take chances. He nearly laughed. Yeah, chances. He was taking more chances now than he had in his life, well, the last ten years anyway. How was he to know that what he did now would not change everything for the worst? It was easier in his time. There were no real Death Eaters left to worry about.
The third woman came back with a distinguished looking man at her tail. He gazed coolly around at them all, (especially the nightshift woman who had lead them in there, Harry noticed) and said in a quite a calm voice. "You may leave."
Harry was not used to such a dismissal and it appeared Sirius was not either. The three on the night shift left, however, and Harry decided it wiser not to make a scene and reveal himself. Sirius followed Harry, quite hesitantly, throughing backwards glances over his shoulder.
"The waiting room is this way," the first woman said, her tone changed from her previous brisk instructions. Harry spotted a name tag. Reida. "There's nothing more you can do now. He's in good hands."
"Reida," came a call. Reida stiffened visibly. The third woman came striding down the hall, her earlier panic gone. In its place was cool control as she looked at Reida, her expression one of disdain. "Perhaps you would like to explain your actions to the head Healer when he returned in the morning."
Reida's eyes flickered, but in anger instead of fear. "You were doing nothing. I had no choice."
"We were merely assessing the situation," she said calmly. "And besides, I must file a report anyway. I think perhaps he would like it better if you told him yourself."
Reida's eyes flickered to a moment to Harry and Sirius. Harry's face was hidden within his cloak and Sirius was obviously not listening to a word. Reida straightened and, with her head held high, she calmly walked own the hall. The other woman's face wore triumph and...was it contempt? Harry frowned at them, then shook his head. It was none of his concern.
When they were gone, Harry turned to Sirius, who had started in the direction Reida had indicated the waiting room to be. "I will leave and inform the others," Harry said. Sirius stopped in surprise and turned.
"You would do that?"
Harry's small smile was hid beneath his hood. "Despite popluar beleif, I do have something of a heart." He did not meantion the last time he had seen Remus in a hospital bed. He would not think of it.
"Thank you," Sirius said. He seemed faintly incredulous, but he meant what he said.
"Don't meantion it," Harry said, shrugging. "Beside, I've nothing better to do at this time of night."
"Not what I've heard," Sirius said with a smile. "But thank you anyway."
"If you say that too many time I shall have to rip out your spleen." Sirius's smile did not fade and Harry found himself happy that it did not.
"I'll hold you to that," Sirius said. "Hermione will still be at the school. She's always there around this time of year."
"I believe it," Harry said. "Oh, and be careful about that Reida girl. There's something off about her."
"'Off'?" Sirius repeated. "How so?"
Harry shrugged and prepared to leave. "I'm certainly not omnipotent. She's just different is all. Not sure if it's good or bad, but better to stay wary."
"Right," Sirius said, nodding.
Harry disappeared without a sound.
"We're here to see Remus Lupin."
"Of course, Mr. Potter," said the woman, swallowing. Her fingers flew down the list as fast as they could. "He's in ward 32, Fourth Floor."
"But that's spell damage!" Hermione said from behind Harry. "He was just hurt!"
"I-I," the woman stuttered, sending a flustered look toward Harry. "I think they said some kind of jinx. Something inside him, I think-"
"That's all we need to know," Ron said quickly, grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him away. "Thank you very much!"
"Any time," she said, her eyes still on Harry. "If you need anything-" she called as they hurried on.
Ron was scowling and Harry was looking rather embarrassed. "How about you go alone next time," he muttered.
Hermione gave him a sypathetic look. "People just don't know how to act around you," she explained. "You don't get out much and then you make a sudden appearance... she was just a little confused it all."
"Yeah, confused," Ron grumbled. "More like completely mental."
Hermione suddenly frowned. "But why would Remus be on the spell damage floor? I don't understand. I thought it was an easy to heal head injury."
Ron and Harry looked worried as well as they climbed the steps. When they got to Remus's door, they opened it carefully. A nurse was in there, her nametag reading Reida and she looked distinctly disgruntled over something. But she did not look panicked or worried so it helped Harry's mood somewhat.
Reida looked up when they came in. "Hello? Ah yes, they told me people would be coming."
"What's wrong with him?" Hermione asked, looking at Remus's bed where he seemed to be asleep.
Reida frowned, looking at Remus as well. "We're not sure. We've never seen anything like it. He drifts in and out of conciousness, you see, so we're able to get vague details of the condition. It seems he's not in any sort of pain-"
"Well that's good, isn't it?" Ron asked quickly.
"It would be," Reida said, "But there's always the chance he could be really suffering. You see, he can't actually feel or move his body. It's like paralysis, but we can't find anything wrong with him physically, there's no spinal chord injury. So it must be a spell or potion, right? But there's no potion in his veins and there's no spell placed on him. We simply can't seem to puzzle it out."
Harry frowned. "Is he awake now? Or is he unconscious?"
Reida looked behind her again to where Remus was laying unmoving. "It's hard to tell sometimes. He has a small bit of control over his facial features, but he seems to have a hard time keeping his eyes open. It probably requires constant effort. He-"
The door opened again and Sirius came in. He smiled sadly when he saw the trio. "Did she tell you about it?"
Reida shook her head. "I was getting to it."
"What is it?" Hermione asked.
"The full moon's coming up," Sirius said. "They're not sure what to do about it. They...they think he'll...die..." he trailed off, looking at Remus. He shook his head and continued, his voice slightly stronger. "They think he'll die in an effort to transform. His insides will trasform into the wolf, but his paralysised skin and bones...his heart will probably burst in an effort to expand against the unyeilding rib cage."
There was a moment as the words soaked in.
"But that's ridiculous!" Hermione said. "They can do all sorts of things with magic! Why don't they remove the rib cage while he transforms so his heart doesn't burst holding the rest of him together by magic and then put it back in when he's human again?"
All four looked at Reida. Her eyes flashed as though in complete rage, though her voice held steady. "Because they do not want to spend time on a werewolf."
"That's stupid!" Harry said, suddenly very angry with her. "Make them!"
"You don't get very many privleges when you're different," she said, her eyes blazing higher, though her voice remained as calm.
Harry wanted to shake her! "Living isn't a privilige! It's a right! Make them do something!"
"They will not listen to me," she said, quite firmly.
"Why not? You work here too!" Harry said furiously.
"It isn't that," Reida said calmly. "And in reality, I am allowed to work here in pity. I am a squib, you see. You don't get privileges when you're different."
Harry's anger winked out. A squib? No wonder she was angry!
"But why do you work here, surrounded by magic everyday if you're a squib?" Ron asked blankly. "Why don't you..." He trailed off with a wince. Hermione had elbowed him hard.
"Why don't I live like a Muggle?" Reida asked, her voice cold. "Because I have no wish to remain in a world that is constantly being lied to, a world manipulated entirely by invisible strings. I will stay here and at least see the strings. I cannot be the puppetmaster, but I refuse to be the puppet."
"Good enough reason for anyone," Sirius said hastily. "Is it okay if we talk to Remus?"
Reida hesitated before nodding. "He probably won't respond. I've no idea if he's asleep or awake. Just keep in mind that he might not answer, awake or not." They nodded and she left quietly. Harry watched her go. She was definately...different.
He turned his attention to Remus. They crowded around the bed.
"Remus?" Sirius asked. "Moony?"
Remus seemed to be trying hard to move. His eyelids seemed to strain and the next second they opened. They twitched but he held them steady, clearly using a lot of effort.
"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked gently.
"Stupid question," Ron muttered and Hermione sent him a look.
"Listen," Sirius said, watching Remus worriedly. "You don't have to go through the effort of looking at us. You can close your eyes if you want." Remus did not move. His eyes remained open, staring at them.
Sirius nodded. "Listen, we're going to get them to do the surgery and you're going to be fine. Don't you even worry about that full mooon, okay? It's not like they're going to say no. They're going to find the cure for this. Heck, I'll find the cure to it if they don't!"
"And I'll look into it," Hermione said. "I have the Hogwart's library open to me. Don't you worry about a thing. Just concentrate on getting better."
They were silent for a moment. Then Harry voiced something that had been bothering him a great deal. "What hit you?"
"He can't answer that, Harry," Sirius said sharply. "Don't make him think about it. He's been through enough."
"It was the Death Eater's wasn't it?" Harry asked. Suddenly the room seemed deadly quiet. "They're the ones that did this to you."
"Harry, remember that Remus is going to be okay. Don't do anything rash."
Harry wasn't listening. His head was spinning. The Death Eaters. The bloody Death Eaters. The Death Eaters he hadn't wanted to fight. The Death Eaters he still didn't want to fight!
Harry turned away from the bed, struggling hard in an inner battle. He was finished! He had fought his Death Eaters! He had done his part! He had promised himself that he was done meddling, that he was done suffering. He had told himself, lying in that field when it was over, that the world had been lifted from his shoulders. That he didn't have to fight anymore...
He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.
There's no one else, said a little voice in the back of his head. You could have saved Remus. Instead you wanted to sit at home and do nothing.
Remus isn't dead! He told that little voice firmly. He's going to be okay. I'm going to talk to that idiot doctor and make him treat him!
You're thinking in the short term, said the little voice fiercly. What if Sirius hadn't gotten there in time? What if Remus had died there, alone on the floor of his living room? What's going to happen next time when Sirius is too late? Are you willing to let that happen?
Harry knew that the little voice was quite right, that he needed to fight. It was his duty. His bloody duty. It was always his bloody duty. He suddenly felt very old and very drained and wishing very much to be somewhere else in the world at that moment. Swallowing, he turned back to the bed. Everyone was carefully looking in the other direction, but Remus's eyes were locked on Harry. He had to work to hold his eyes open. He was suffering because Harry was weak.
Harry sat back down at the bedside and Remus's eyes sluggishly followed him. They looked...questioning. Harry avoided looking at them. His fault. All his fault. Remus was hurt and it was his fault.
The rest of the time was rather subdued. Remus couldn't move or speak and finally he must have become exhausted because after a small battle, his eyes fell closed.
They left soon after and Hermione caught up to him in the hall.
"Harry," she said firmly. "What happend to Remus wasn't your fault. You know that, don't you? You don't have to fight if you don't want to."
"Are you kidding?"
Harry looked up in surprise. Ron was staring at him with an annoyed expression on his face.
"What?" Hermione asked blankly. "Ron?"
"Harry's been sulking around every since that battle. I know it was terrible for you, I understand that and I'm not asking you to forget what happened. I just want you to accept what happened and move on! It's been five years!"
Harry blinked in total surprise. Ever since the event, everyone around him had been rather soft spoken about the event. He hadn't expected Ron to speak ao bluntly. He frowned was about to tell Ron quite firmly that he hasd not been sulking, but suddenly a wide eyed Sirius cut in. "I should like a cup of tea!" he said quite loudly. "Harry?"
"That's a wonderful idea," said Hermione quickly. She grabbed Ron's arm. "We'll follow in just a minute. I need to talk to Ron first."
Harry frowned and saw exactly what they were trying to do, but he had no wish to start a fight with Ron and let Sirius steer him toward the stairs.
He did not see the very annoyed look on Ron's face.
Hermione did, however. She turned to Ron frowning and eyes flashing.
"What do you think you're doing!?" she hissed. "Are you trying to make him hate you?"
To her surprise, Ron grinned widely and twisted his arm deftly out of her grip. "I'm simply trying a different approach to the same problem," he said calmly, looking her in the eyes. Hermione was suddenly aware that Ron always had to look down at her to look her in the eye and at the moment, they stood eye level. Her mouth opened in surprise.
A smirk found its way onto Ron's features. It was such a foreign thing there that it looked wrong somehow. Suddenly Ron blinked and brilliant green eyes looked at her calmly, a hint of...mocking?...showing through.
"Harry!" Hermione said in a strangled voice. "What did you do to Ron?"
"Nothing!" he said innocently. The appearance did not touch his eyes however, and it looked strangly foreign, despite Ron's face framed around them. "Ron simply...over slept. I expect you to stop him from telling Harry."
He said this so matter-of-factly that Hermione was quite sure he was used to giving orders and have them hurriedly carried out. She squared her shoulders and looked at him firmly. "Maybe," she said angrily. "You should have thought of that before you slipped something into Ron's evening tea!"
Harry's eyes did not change, but a small smile appeared on Ron's face. "Come now, Hermione. I should have thought you knew I was above such tactics. What's the fun in a plan if there's no chance of being caught?"
Hermione couldn't believe this and it was that much weirder coming out of Ron's mouth in Ron's voice. But not Ron's eyes, and that made all the difference.
"You listen to me, Harry," Hermione said firmly. "I don't know what you were doing, but it isn't going to work! Don't you think we've tried that on Harry?" She was fibbing at this point, but this sarcastic Harry didn't need to know that.
"Of course you haven't," Harry said dismissively. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered. And don't give me that look, Hermione. You're 'it wasn't your fault' idea is pathetic and you know it. He's never going to fight if he knows no one blames him!"
"Some people," Hermione said angrily. "Fight because they have something to fight for. They do not need to feel guilty."
"Don't be a complete fool," Harry said, but not snappishly at all. His eyes driffed down the corridor. "Guilt is the only real reason for fighting."
"Is that what you think?" Hermione said. "Do you think I feel guilty about the Death Eaters murdering Muggles? No! I think it's horrible, so I try to stop it, but I know that there is nothing I can do to stop them all. So I do what I can."
"You don't understand," Harry said calmly, his green eyes meeting her gaze again. "He can stop them all."
A small frown creased Hermione's face. "No one can do everything."
Harry snorted in laughter. Somehow, he always managed to make his laugh seem out of disbelief instead of happiness. Perhaps it really was. "He can. I can. We're one and the same. I've just had ten years more training than he has. And I did it all because I could have saved you, and I didn't."
"You couldn't have saved everyone," Hermione said firmly, fully aware that the wand in Harry's pocket had killed herself. "Not then. Maybe not now. I think that I personally prefer my Harry now to the Harry he would have become had he been consumed by guilt."
It was a pointed insult and Hermione knew that Harry understood. He just shook his head. "And who was this Harry supposed to feel guilty about? Your parents? No offense, Hermione, but he never knew them and he didn't really know what he lost. What do you think would have happened to him if I had never brought Sirius back? What would have happened to him had I not distracted Voldemort that night and prevented the slow murder of the Weasley family? What would have happened if I hadn't stepped on that twig at the right time, Hermione, and prevented Harry killing you?"
Hermione had known that last part was coming. She tried to forget every day since she had known the truth that her best friend had very nearly killed her. It wasn't his fault. He wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been for Voldemort.
"If I had anything to feel guilty about," Harry said quietly. "It was that one thing, in a long list of death and murder."
"It wasn't your fault," Hermione said quietly. She was horrified that her voice didn't hold much conviction and even more so as she realized that a part of her did blame him. She would never have known...
It barely regestured in her as Harry blinked again and his eyes returned to thier adopted hue. It barely regestured with her when he walked calmly away. She stood there, trying to battle out her inner demons until Sirus came down to get her. 'Ron' had apparently already left. As she gave a start and sent Sirius a reassuring smile, she could not help thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, guilt was quite a good reason to fight for anything.
Me: Tadda!!! So here it is. Wonder what Harry's going to say when Ron denys every saying it.
Gilthas: That's he's stupid.
Me:...Something like that. So anyway, Happy Fourth of July again! John Adams rules! Very underrated, he is. So anyway, here's responses to my eight loyal reviewers!
Allizarin Sylvain Phyre: Hello hello! I'm happy you reviewed! You were one of the names I always remembered to look for. I'm glad you like my story. I really like to put those twists in there. It just makes writing the story all that more enjoyable. Sorry I took so long with the update! You probably hate me now, but I've been really busy so much lately! Even today I'm having to fit the review into the morning because we're getting on a plane to leave town! sigh Tell me, do those little starry things I put around the word 'sigh' even show up? Seems to me like they haven't lately...
Darkmoon Fleur: No, Lucius just thinks Remus is a friend. Draco wasn't about to tell his crazy father that he was going to kill someone because Lucius might repeat it to the wrong ear. Like he told Harry. Draco just wants Remus dead because he's a key member of the resistance force that's preventing Draco's revenge on Harry and eventually world domination. What is it with evil people and trying to rule the world?
grand admiral chelli: Don't worry! He's just in critical condition! He's going to be okay! ...I hope. Sometimes the story just writes itself. He's not dead yet, though and that's what counts! Sorry about the long wait before an update!
Adamand: I'm mushing! Sort of...not really... I'm a horrible author, aren't I? Tell you what, I'll go ahead and udate as soon as I get back from my week trip. I'm taking my laptop around so I can write while I'm there. Expect another update in about a week. More than once a week it rather hard for me, but I have two weeks off after I get back and I'll write my head off while I'm not training for Ragbrai!
mashimaromadness: ...He'll get better. I think. You can never tell with those stupid wizards. Monty Python rules! I suppose any comment on your late arrival home would be a little late. Sorry! I'll try to update quicker. I just have such a busy summer!
eruve tinwen: I know! Can you believe that none of my friends had seen the movie!!!???!! I was out of town on premeir day an dthey just ASSUMED it wouldn't matter if they didn't see it! So as soon as I got back I rounded them all up and we went...have I told you this? I've ranted about it quite a lot so there's the distinct possibility I've already told you. If I have, sorry! Okay. Back to the biscuit thing. I think, to get the American equivilent of a biscuit, you have to put the British equivilent (i.e. The cookie) completely out of your head. No. Buscuits are a softer equivilent of the McMuffin. Or maybe I'm just not clear on exactly what the McMuffin is over there. It's the flat bread with the little 'M' on top, right? That's what I've been assuming. Don't you have the Pillsbury dough boy? You know, the Pillsbury animated guy that they always poke in the stomach on commercials and he laughs? He's a big busciut person.
saramagic: I keep putting the star there, but it never shows up! Did it show up that time? It always shows up on your reviews. Maybe it's me. I bet it hates me because I'm updating less and less frequently. sigh I'm really trying, but my summers are so hard! There's so much I'm doing! Oh! How did it go at Cambridge? Was the university any good? Planning on going? Sounds like fun. More Sirius in this chapter. Only a little, but now Remus is...incapacitated...Sirius will be having a bigger role. I love Sirius! He's so cool! I hope he shoots that doctor. No. Really. I hate that doctor. Sirius can make him treat Remus if anyone can. 'Cause he's the coolest!!! Okay, so I'm going to try updating more often. I'm slacking off and I know it. I'm taking my laptop with me on my trip so I can write a lot. At least in the evenings. And in the mornings before everyone gets up. But there will be writing involved!!! does dramatic gesture isn't quite sure what the gesture was, but is sure it was dramatic So I shall leave you now. Hey wait! Are you going to have a computer at this new university so you can review? I shall be most upset if you don't. I'll frown more often. And be sad.
Liz: Why hello, Liz! How's your life? laughs 'Productive members of society', huh? Sounds like you've been reading too much John Grisham. That's okay. Though, I'd have to suggest R.A. Salvatore to you or perhaps Wies and Hickman. Gilthas rules! And so does Drizzt, but I like Gilthas more and besides, he's my muse! But he doesn't come around until 'The Second Generation' book. But he's the coolest! In all his coolness! I hope more happened in this chapter. I think perhaps that it was a little short. Maybe, I dunno. There's no page numbers on my laptop!
A/N: So there it is. You're done now and you can be sad until I update again. Which will be much sooner than this update! I promise!
Gilthas: How long did it take you? Two weeks? Three?
Me: shifts uncomfortably Somewhere in there. But I'm trying! I'm bringing my laptop along, aren't I?
Gilthas: Granted. Holy Crap! I just checked the last update date and it's almost been a month!
Me: Jeepers!
Gilthas: Did you...just say 'Jeepers'?
Me: I am shamed. Okay, well, I'll let you get on with your lives now. See yall later! ;)
Gilthas: About time. I thought you never would. There has been a definate lack of writing going on lately.
Me: shuffles uncomfortably Yeah, we've been on a ton of bike rides lately. We're training, you see, for Ragbrai.
Gilthas: rolls his eyes Ragbrai, Ragbrai, Ragbrai. That's all you ever want to do anymore!
Me: ...do you...er...even know what Ragbrai is?
Gilthas: ...no.
Me: It's a bike ride. It's 490 miles. On your bike. One week. 7 days. Day after day after day. Getting up and riding 70 miles. That's why we have to train. So we don't die.
Gilthas: ...Oh. Well you could have written between trainings!
Me: Granted. But normally I just took a shower and then did nothing. Oh! By the way, happy Fourth of July Americans!
John Adams: I see fireworks!
Me: Yay! I'm going to have to watch 1776 today. I like the song, 'Cool, Cool, Considerate Men', but you can only watch it on the extended addition.
Gilthas: That's nice. Now let these poor people read your story. Because they hate you for not updating.
Me: I was WAITING to get some more reviews! Eight! sigh Well, you'll all be happy to know that I'm working on a 3003 sequel as well. This one's just taking precedence.
Gilthas: What's it called?
Me: ...3004. What else?
Chapter 5: Guilt
Harry's thoughts whirled and he turned from Malfoy's bed with a jerk. Waving a hand, Harry found himself seconds later at the house of his former professor...again.
But this time it was different. This time there were no wards to get through. They were just gone. Either someone had completely defeated them instead of just slipping through, or else Lupin had been completely foolish and removed them. He couldn't make himself believe the latter.
Silent as death, Harry made his way to the house. He couldn't believe that Draco would be so careless as not leaving guards outside, but Harry had spent years learning to be invisible and now he could take cheese from a mouse and it not stop nibbling. Draco Malfoy's guards would be no harder. Besides, even if one of them did suddenly gain a pair of eyes, it wasn't as though they'd have time to speak before they were rendered unable to do so.
Something in the back of his mind muttered at him that he shouldn't be doing this. He was stopping. He wasn't a weapon anymore. He wasn't spending his life hunting Death Eaters. He pushed it away. Some things were more important than himself.
He did not use the door. To do so would have been a foolish move for certainly that was where the most gaurds were. He concidered briefly simply Apparating inside, but rejected it instantly. He could suddenly appear right in front of a Death Eater who would shout before Harry had time to see him.
He crept foreward at the quickest pace he trusted himself to take, his ears straining for any sort of noise. There was nothing. He moved faster still, an omonous feeling growing inside him. Normally when things were so quiet, it meant... he forced himself to stop thinking about it.
He reached a window and peered inside. It was pitch blackness everywhere. Where was Lupin? Waving a hand at the window, Harry unlocked it and slid it open in one smooth motion. Picking himself up carefully, he climbed inside and landed silently on the hard wooden floor. His eyes gradually adjusted to the dark and he was able to make out distinct shapes. Creeping carefully, he saw a shape that wasn't furniture, a shape that looked distinctly human.
Carelessly holding out a had, palm up, he summoned a light without actually thinking what he was doing. He bent down to the figure on the floor and turn him over from his face down position. It was Lupin...and he had a bloody gash on top of his head, the bloody running down the side of his face. Ignoring the wound, he felt for a pulse. It was there, but very weak.
Thinking quickly of the healing magic he had learned, he cringed. Most of his magics were for tiredness and broken bones. As much as he hated to admit it, if something like this hit him, he could probably tune it out continue fighting. But he had trained himself. Lupin had not. And Harry had never prepared to heal something so...simple. Lupin's problem now was how long he had lain there unattended.
Conjuring a piece of cloth from nothing and wetting it with water that wasn't there, he hurriedly began cleaning the wound. Suddenly he froze. Someone else was in the house with them. They had just entered using the front door.
Every fiber of Harry's being was on edge, waiting for that person to enter the room. His muscles jarred horribly when he heard someone shout, "Remus? Are you here? Remus!"
Sirius Black entered the room then, his wand tip lit. "Those Muggle contraptions in there aren't giving off any light," he said, looking around the room as he walked in. "So I-" He stopped when he saw Harry. Then his eyes traveled down to Remus. "Moony!" he yelled, hurrying to Harry's side and bending down next to his friend. "What happened?"
"Malfoy," Harry said. "I got here too late. Not that I could have arrived any quicker."
Sirius didn't appear to be listening. He had snatched up the cloth from Harry's hand and was dabbing Remus's head to get rid of the blood. "Can't you heal him?"
Harry frowned. "I'm a fighter, not a healer."
"We have to do something! We--" He stopped as Remus's eyes fluttered open. "Harry!" he said when he saw him. "Draco! He--" Remus's eyes rolled back into his head and Sirius leapt foreward with a yell.
"He's just unconscious," Harry said quickly. "I would know if he died."
"We have to get him out of here!" Sirius said. "But we can't Apparate! We can't carry Remus that way and besides, they're monitoring the house so they'll know if we do!"
"Got it," Harry said. Grabbing Remus's wrist in one hand and Sirius's in the other, he concentrated. The next second his molecules were rearranging and he was speeding to St. Mungo's. He couldn't actually see himself moving or feel himself moving, but somehow he knew he was and the next second he, Sirius, and Remus were all sitting on the floor of the waiting room in St. Mungo's.
"What was that?" Sirius asked. "You did it before, 5 years ago when you got me out of the veil."
"Long story," Harry said. "It's my way around Anti-Apparition spells."
"Well, let's get Remus in a ward," Sirius said quickly. He called loudly, "Healers? Is there anyone who can help?"
There was a moment of pause and then hurried footsteps were heard. Three people came into the room, more importantly, three healers.
"He needs help," Sirius said.
Two of the healers exchanged panicked looks but the third instantly took control.
"Bring him with me. I can find him a ward and bring the healers in."
"Healers?" Sirius asked quickly as Harry levitated Remus after her, his hood again pulled low. "I thought you were healers!"
"We're the nightshift," said one of the two other healers hurriedly. He glanced at the woman who had taken charge. "We're just studing. We really don't know what we're doing."
The woman rounded on him in an instant. "You better figure it out fast! You!" She snapped at the third nightshift person. "Get the healers! Now!"
The woman jumped as though branded and hurried in the other direction.
"In here," she said, opening a door and holding it as Harry levitated Remus though and put him on the bed. Harry blinked from within his hood as he passed her. Something was...strange. He was instantly wary but said nothing. It was not a good strange nor a bad strange, it was just different, but Harry had learned long ago not to take chances. He nearly laughed. Yeah, chances. He was taking more chances now than he had in his life, well, the last ten years anyway. How was he to know that what he did now would not change everything for the worst? It was easier in his time. There were no real Death Eaters left to worry about.
The third woman came back with a distinguished looking man at her tail. He gazed coolly around at them all, (especially the nightshift woman who had lead them in there, Harry noticed) and said in a quite a calm voice. "You may leave."
Harry was not used to such a dismissal and it appeared Sirius was not either. The three on the night shift left, however, and Harry decided it wiser not to make a scene and reveal himself. Sirius followed Harry, quite hesitantly, throughing backwards glances over his shoulder.
"The waiting room is this way," the first woman said, her tone changed from her previous brisk instructions. Harry spotted a name tag. Reida. "There's nothing more you can do now. He's in good hands."
"Reida," came a call. Reida stiffened visibly. The third woman came striding down the hall, her earlier panic gone. In its place was cool control as she looked at Reida, her expression one of disdain. "Perhaps you would like to explain your actions to the head Healer when he returned in the morning."
Reida's eyes flickered, but in anger instead of fear. "You were doing nothing. I had no choice."
"We were merely assessing the situation," she said calmly. "And besides, I must file a report anyway. I think perhaps he would like it better if you told him yourself."
Reida's eyes flickered to a moment to Harry and Sirius. Harry's face was hidden within his cloak and Sirius was obviously not listening to a word. Reida straightened and, with her head held high, she calmly walked own the hall. The other woman's face wore triumph and...was it contempt? Harry frowned at them, then shook his head. It was none of his concern.
When they were gone, Harry turned to Sirius, who had started in the direction Reida had indicated the waiting room to be. "I will leave and inform the others," Harry said. Sirius stopped in surprise and turned.
"You would do that?"
Harry's small smile was hid beneath his hood. "Despite popluar beleif, I do have something of a heart." He did not meantion the last time he had seen Remus in a hospital bed. He would not think of it.
"Thank you," Sirius said. He seemed faintly incredulous, but he meant what he said.
"Don't meantion it," Harry said, shrugging. "Beside, I've nothing better to do at this time of night."
"Not what I've heard," Sirius said with a smile. "But thank you anyway."
"If you say that too many time I shall have to rip out your spleen." Sirius's smile did not fade and Harry found himself happy that it did not.
"I'll hold you to that," Sirius said. "Hermione will still be at the school. She's always there around this time of year."
"I believe it," Harry said. "Oh, and be careful about that Reida girl. There's something off about her."
"'Off'?" Sirius repeated. "How so?"
Harry shrugged and prepared to leave. "I'm certainly not omnipotent. She's just different is all. Not sure if it's good or bad, but better to stay wary."
"Right," Sirius said, nodding.
Harry disappeared without a sound.
"We're here to see Remus Lupin."
"Of course, Mr. Potter," said the woman, swallowing. Her fingers flew down the list as fast as they could. "He's in ward 32, Fourth Floor."
"But that's spell damage!" Hermione said from behind Harry. "He was just hurt!"
"I-I," the woman stuttered, sending a flustered look toward Harry. "I think they said some kind of jinx. Something inside him, I think-"
"That's all we need to know," Ron said quickly, grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him away. "Thank you very much!"
"Any time," she said, her eyes still on Harry. "If you need anything-" she called as they hurried on.
Ron was scowling and Harry was looking rather embarrassed. "How about you go alone next time," he muttered.
Hermione gave him a sypathetic look. "People just don't know how to act around you," she explained. "You don't get out much and then you make a sudden appearance... she was just a little confused it all."
"Yeah, confused," Ron grumbled. "More like completely mental."
Hermione suddenly frowned. "But why would Remus be on the spell damage floor? I don't understand. I thought it was an easy to heal head injury."
Ron and Harry looked worried as well as they climbed the steps. When they got to Remus's door, they opened it carefully. A nurse was in there, her nametag reading Reida and she looked distinctly disgruntled over something. But she did not look panicked or worried so it helped Harry's mood somewhat.
Reida looked up when they came in. "Hello? Ah yes, they told me people would be coming."
"What's wrong with him?" Hermione asked, looking at Remus's bed where he seemed to be asleep.
Reida frowned, looking at Remus as well. "We're not sure. We've never seen anything like it. He drifts in and out of conciousness, you see, so we're able to get vague details of the condition. It seems he's not in any sort of pain-"
"Well that's good, isn't it?" Ron asked quickly.
"It would be," Reida said, "But there's always the chance he could be really suffering. You see, he can't actually feel or move his body. It's like paralysis, but we can't find anything wrong with him physically, there's no spinal chord injury. So it must be a spell or potion, right? But there's no potion in his veins and there's no spell placed on him. We simply can't seem to puzzle it out."
Harry frowned. "Is he awake now? Or is he unconscious?"
Reida looked behind her again to where Remus was laying unmoving. "It's hard to tell sometimes. He has a small bit of control over his facial features, but he seems to have a hard time keeping his eyes open. It probably requires constant effort. He-"
The door opened again and Sirius came in. He smiled sadly when he saw the trio. "Did she tell you about it?"
Reida shook her head. "I was getting to it."
"What is it?" Hermione asked.
"The full moon's coming up," Sirius said. "They're not sure what to do about it. They...they think he'll...die..." he trailed off, looking at Remus. He shook his head and continued, his voice slightly stronger. "They think he'll die in an effort to transform. His insides will trasform into the wolf, but his paralysised skin and bones...his heart will probably burst in an effort to expand against the unyeilding rib cage."
There was a moment as the words soaked in.
"But that's ridiculous!" Hermione said. "They can do all sorts of things with magic! Why don't they remove the rib cage while he transforms so his heart doesn't burst holding the rest of him together by magic and then put it back in when he's human again?"
All four looked at Reida. Her eyes flashed as though in complete rage, though her voice held steady. "Because they do not want to spend time on a werewolf."
"That's stupid!" Harry said, suddenly very angry with her. "Make them!"
"You don't get very many privleges when you're different," she said, her eyes blazing higher, though her voice remained as calm.
Harry wanted to shake her! "Living isn't a privilige! It's a right! Make them do something!"
"They will not listen to me," she said, quite firmly.
"Why not? You work here too!" Harry said furiously.
"It isn't that," Reida said calmly. "And in reality, I am allowed to work here in pity. I am a squib, you see. You don't get privileges when you're different."
Harry's anger winked out. A squib? No wonder she was angry!
"But why do you work here, surrounded by magic everyday if you're a squib?" Ron asked blankly. "Why don't you..." He trailed off with a wince. Hermione had elbowed him hard.
"Why don't I live like a Muggle?" Reida asked, her voice cold. "Because I have no wish to remain in a world that is constantly being lied to, a world manipulated entirely by invisible strings. I will stay here and at least see the strings. I cannot be the puppetmaster, but I refuse to be the puppet."
"Good enough reason for anyone," Sirius said hastily. "Is it okay if we talk to Remus?"
Reida hesitated before nodding. "He probably won't respond. I've no idea if he's asleep or awake. Just keep in mind that he might not answer, awake or not." They nodded and she left quietly. Harry watched her go. She was definately...different.
He turned his attention to Remus. They crowded around the bed.
"Remus?" Sirius asked. "Moony?"
Remus seemed to be trying hard to move. His eyelids seemed to strain and the next second they opened. They twitched but he held them steady, clearly using a lot of effort.
"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked gently.
"Stupid question," Ron muttered and Hermione sent him a look.
"Listen," Sirius said, watching Remus worriedly. "You don't have to go through the effort of looking at us. You can close your eyes if you want." Remus did not move. His eyes remained open, staring at them.
Sirius nodded. "Listen, we're going to get them to do the surgery and you're going to be fine. Don't you even worry about that full mooon, okay? It's not like they're going to say no. They're going to find the cure for this. Heck, I'll find the cure to it if they don't!"
"And I'll look into it," Hermione said. "I have the Hogwart's library open to me. Don't you worry about a thing. Just concentrate on getting better."
They were silent for a moment. Then Harry voiced something that had been bothering him a great deal. "What hit you?"
"He can't answer that, Harry," Sirius said sharply. "Don't make him think about it. He's been through enough."
"It was the Death Eater's wasn't it?" Harry asked. Suddenly the room seemed deadly quiet. "They're the ones that did this to you."
"Harry, remember that Remus is going to be okay. Don't do anything rash."
Harry wasn't listening. His head was spinning. The Death Eaters. The bloody Death Eaters. The Death Eaters he hadn't wanted to fight. The Death Eaters he still didn't want to fight!
Harry turned away from the bed, struggling hard in an inner battle. He was finished! He had fought his Death Eaters! He had done his part! He had promised himself that he was done meddling, that he was done suffering. He had told himself, lying in that field when it was over, that the world had been lifted from his shoulders. That he didn't have to fight anymore...
He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.
There's no one else, said a little voice in the back of his head. You could have saved Remus. Instead you wanted to sit at home and do nothing.
Remus isn't dead! He told that little voice firmly. He's going to be okay. I'm going to talk to that idiot doctor and make him treat him!
You're thinking in the short term, said the little voice fiercly. What if Sirius hadn't gotten there in time? What if Remus had died there, alone on the floor of his living room? What's going to happen next time when Sirius is too late? Are you willing to let that happen?
Harry knew that the little voice was quite right, that he needed to fight. It was his duty. His bloody duty. It was always his bloody duty. He suddenly felt very old and very drained and wishing very much to be somewhere else in the world at that moment. Swallowing, he turned back to the bed. Everyone was carefully looking in the other direction, but Remus's eyes were locked on Harry. He had to work to hold his eyes open. He was suffering because Harry was weak.
Harry sat back down at the bedside and Remus's eyes sluggishly followed him. They looked...questioning. Harry avoided looking at them. His fault. All his fault. Remus was hurt and it was his fault.
The rest of the time was rather subdued. Remus couldn't move or speak and finally he must have become exhausted because after a small battle, his eyes fell closed.
They left soon after and Hermione caught up to him in the hall.
"Harry," she said firmly. "What happend to Remus wasn't your fault. You know that, don't you? You don't have to fight if you don't want to."
"Are you kidding?"
Harry looked up in surprise. Ron was staring at him with an annoyed expression on his face.
"What?" Hermione asked blankly. "Ron?"
"Harry's been sulking around every since that battle. I know it was terrible for you, I understand that and I'm not asking you to forget what happened. I just want you to accept what happened and move on! It's been five years!"
Harry blinked in total surprise. Ever since the event, everyone around him had been rather soft spoken about the event. He hadn't expected Ron to speak ao bluntly. He frowned was about to tell Ron quite firmly that he hasd not been sulking, but suddenly a wide eyed Sirius cut in. "I should like a cup of tea!" he said quite loudly. "Harry?"
"That's a wonderful idea," said Hermione quickly. She grabbed Ron's arm. "We'll follow in just a minute. I need to talk to Ron first."
Harry frowned and saw exactly what they were trying to do, but he had no wish to start a fight with Ron and let Sirius steer him toward the stairs.
He did not see the very annoyed look on Ron's face.
Hermione did, however. She turned to Ron frowning and eyes flashing.
"What do you think you're doing!?" she hissed. "Are you trying to make him hate you?"
To her surprise, Ron grinned widely and twisted his arm deftly out of her grip. "I'm simply trying a different approach to the same problem," he said calmly, looking her in the eyes. Hermione was suddenly aware that Ron always had to look down at her to look her in the eye and at the moment, they stood eye level. Her mouth opened in surprise.
A smirk found its way onto Ron's features. It was such a foreign thing there that it looked wrong somehow. Suddenly Ron blinked and brilliant green eyes looked at her calmly, a hint of...mocking?...showing through.
"Harry!" Hermione said in a strangled voice. "What did you do to Ron?"
"Nothing!" he said innocently. The appearance did not touch his eyes however, and it looked strangly foreign, despite Ron's face framed around them. "Ron simply...over slept. I expect you to stop him from telling Harry."
He said this so matter-of-factly that Hermione was quite sure he was used to giving orders and have them hurriedly carried out. She squared her shoulders and looked at him firmly. "Maybe," she said angrily. "You should have thought of that before you slipped something into Ron's evening tea!"
Harry's eyes did not change, but a small smile appeared on Ron's face. "Come now, Hermione. I should have thought you knew I was above such tactics. What's the fun in a plan if there's no chance of being caught?"
Hermione couldn't believe this and it was that much weirder coming out of Ron's mouth in Ron's voice. But not Ron's eyes, and that made all the difference.
"You listen to me, Harry," Hermione said firmly. "I don't know what you were doing, but it isn't going to work! Don't you think we've tried that on Harry?" She was fibbing at this point, but this sarcastic Harry didn't need to know that.
"Of course you haven't," Harry said dismissively. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered. And don't give me that look, Hermione. You're 'it wasn't your fault' idea is pathetic and you know it. He's never going to fight if he knows no one blames him!"
"Some people," Hermione said angrily. "Fight because they have something to fight for. They do not need to feel guilty."
"Don't be a complete fool," Harry said, but not snappishly at all. His eyes driffed down the corridor. "Guilt is the only real reason for fighting."
"Is that what you think?" Hermione said. "Do you think I feel guilty about the Death Eaters murdering Muggles? No! I think it's horrible, so I try to stop it, but I know that there is nothing I can do to stop them all. So I do what I can."
"You don't understand," Harry said calmly, his green eyes meeting her gaze again. "He can stop them all."
A small frown creased Hermione's face. "No one can do everything."
Harry snorted in laughter. Somehow, he always managed to make his laugh seem out of disbelief instead of happiness. Perhaps it really was. "He can. I can. We're one and the same. I've just had ten years more training than he has. And I did it all because I could have saved you, and I didn't."
"You couldn't have saved everyone," Hermione said firmly, fully aware that the wand in Harry's pocket had killed herself. "Not then. Maybe not now. I think that I personally prefer my Harry now to the Harry he would have become had he been consumed by guilt."
It was a pointed insult and Hermione knew that Harry understood. He just shook his head. "And who was this Harry supposed to feel guilty about? Your parents? No offense, Hermione, but he never knew them and he didn't really know what he lost. What do you think would have happened to him if I had never brought Sirius back? What would have happened to him had I not distracted Voldemort that night and prevented the slow murder of the Weasley family? What would have happened if I hadn't stepped on that twig at the right time, Hermione, and prevented Harry killing you?"
Hermione had known that last part was coming. She tried to forget every day since she had known the truth that her best friend had very nearly killed her. It wasn't his fault. He wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been for Voldemort.
"If I had anything to feel guilty about," Harry said quietly. "It was that one thing, in a long list of death and murder."
"It wasn't your fault," Hermione said quietly. She was horrified that her voice didn't hold much conviction and even more so as she realized that a part of her did blame him. She would never have known...
It barely regestured in her as Harry blinked again and his eyes returned to thier adopted hue. It barely regestured with her when he walked calmly away. She stood there, trying to battle out her inner demons until Sirus came down to get her. 'Ron' had apparently already left. As she gave a start and sent Sirius a reassuring smile, she could not help thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, guilt was quite a good reason to fight for anything.
Me: Tadda!!! So here it is. Wonder what Harry's going to say when Ron denys every saying it.
Gilthas: That's he's stupid.
Me:...Something like that. So anyway, Happy Fourth of July again! John Adams rules! Very underrated, he is. So anyway, here's responses to my eight loyal reviewers!
Allizarin Sylvain Phyre: Hello hello! I'm happy you reviewed! You were one of the names I always remembered to look for. I'm glad you like my story. I really like to put those twists in there. It just makes writing the story all that more enjoyable. Sorry I took so long with the update! You probably hate me now, but I've been really busy so much lately! Even today I'm having to fit the review into the morning because we're getting on a plane to leave town! sigh Tell me, do those little starry things I put around the word 'sigh' even show up? Seems to me like they haven't lately...
Darkmoon Fleur: No, Lucius just thinks Remus is a friend. Draco wasn't about to tell his crazy father that he was going to kill someone because Lucius might repeat it to the wrong ear. Like he told Harry. Draco just wants Remus dead because he's a key member of the resistance force that's preventing Draco's revenge on Harry and eventually world domination. What is it with evil people and trying to rule the world?
grand admiral chelli: Don't worry! He's just in critical condition! He's going to be okay! ...I hope. Sometimes the story just writes itself. He's not dead yet, though and that's what counts! Sorry about the long wait before an update!
Adamand: I'm mushing! Sort of...not really... I'm a horrible author, aren't I? Tell you what, I'll go ahead and udate as soon as I get back from my week trip. I'm taking my laptop around so I can write while I'm there. Expect another update in about a week. More than once a week it rather hard for me, but I have two weeks off after I get back and I'll write my head off while I'm not training for Ragbrai!
mashimaromadness: ...He'll get better. I think. You can never tell with those stupid wizards. Monty Python rules! I suppose any comment on your late arrival home would be a little late. Sorry! I'll try to update quicker. I just have such a busy summer!
eruve tinwen: I know! Can you believe that none of my friends had seen the movie!!!???!! I was out of town on premeir day an dthey just ASSUMED it wouldn't matter if they didn't see it! So as soon as I got back I rounded them all up and we went...have I told you this? I've ranted about it quite a lot so there's the distinct possibility I've already told you. If I have, sorry! Okay. Back to the biscuit thing. I think, to get the American equivilent of a biscuit, you have to put the British equivilent (i.e. The cookie) completely out of your head. No. Buscuits are a softer equivilent of the McMuffin. Or maybe I'm just not clear on exactly what the McMuffin is over there. It's the flat bread with the little 'M' on top, right? That's what I've been assuming. Don't you have the Pillsbury dough boy? You know, the Pillsbury animated guy that they always poke in the stomach on commercials and he laughs? He's a big busciut person.
saramagic: I keep putting the star there, but it never shows up! Did it show up that time? It always shows up on your reviews. Maybe it's me. I bet it hates me because I'm updating less and less frequently. sigh I'm really trying, but my summers are so hard! There's so much I'm doing! Oh! How did it go at Cambridge? Was the university any good? Planning on going? Sounds like fun. More Sirius in this chapter. Only a little, but now Remus is...incapacitated...Sirius will be having a bigger role. I love Sirius! He's so cool! I hope he shoots that doctor. No. Really. I hate that doctor. Sirius can make him treat Remus if anyone can. 'Cause he's the coolest!!! Okay, so I'm going to try updating more often. I'm slacking off and I know it. I'm taking my laptop with me on my trip so I can write a lot. At least in the evenings. And in the mornings before everyone gets up. But there will be writing involved!!! does dramatic gesture isn't quite sure what the gesture was, but is sure it was dramatic So I shall leave you now. Hey wait! Are you going to have a computer at this new university so you can review? I shall be most upset if you don't. I'll frown more often. And be sad.
Liz: Why hello, Liz! How's your life? laughs 'Productive members of society', huh? Sounds like you've been reading too much John Grisham. That's okay. Though, I'd have to suggest R.A. Salvatore to you or perhaps Wies and Hickman. Gilthas rules! And so does Drizzt, but I like Gilthas more and besides, he's my muse! But he doesn't come around until 'The Second Generation' book. But he's the coolest! In all his coolness! I hope more happened in this chapter. I think perhaps that it was a little short. Maybe, I dunno. There's no page numbers on my laptop!
A/N: So there it is. You're done now and you can be sad until I update again. Which will be much sooner than this update! I promise!
Gilthas: How long did it take you? Two weeks? Three?
Me: shifts uncomfortably Somewhere in there. But I'm trying! I'm bringing my laptop along, aren't I?
Gilthas: Granted. Holy Crap! I just checked the last update date and it's almost been a month!
Me: Jeepers!
Gilthas: Did you...just say 'Jeepers'?
Me: I am shamed. Okay, well, I'll let you get on with your lives now. See yall later! ;)