A/N: Hey all!!! Okay, so it's been a while, but I'm still writing!!!
Gilthas: grumbles Barely...
Me: glares You know what I've been trying to do lately, juggling so many classes. I barely have time. Still, it's a four day weekend so I can write all I want!!!!
Gilthas: Yay!
Me: Woot! Oh, this chapter is really quite long. I was thinking of making it two chapters, but it's been forever since I updated so I thought I'd just get it all out there. Okay, so read!
Chapter 8: Reopening Wounds
Hermione found herself sitting in her bedroom, a book propped open in her lap. NEWT? Why would she have a book titled--
Death Eaters burst into her room. A binding spell was on her before she could say a word. She made for her window, screaming in terror but no sound coming from her mouth. The Death Eaters grabbed her roughly and pulled her toward the door. Too late came her mother's scream.
"Get out of here! Run for your life! RUN!"
Hermione twisted and writhed but the Death Eater's grips were like iron. They dragged her into the hall, kicking and screaming with as much trouble as they would have an empty sack.
Hermione wrenched herself from the memory and quite suddenly she was sitting back in that white room with its slashed walls and the pain of her wounds pounded in her ears. Blood seeped through the bandages, turning them red in an instant.
"The wounds have opened," muttered the mediwitch worriedly. "Oh dear, you do know how to make things hard on yourself."
"What was that?" Hermione gasped as the woman began replacing her bandages. The woman did not answer, but Ron, leaning against the torn wall, did.
"Memories, idiot. Memories. What did you think you were trying to heal? A broken leg? A hurt arm? This is your mind, you foolish girl. If you cannot venture into your own mind without opening forgotten wounds, how do you expect to venture into someone elses? Someone who's pain is far greater than yours? Was he in your position, he wouldn't be able to stand, let alone walk! How do you expect to do anything if you can't face a bunch of worthless Death Eaters?"
"They killed my parents!" Hermione yelled at him. "They killed them right in front of me, then they left me there, alive so I could--"
"Alive," Ron shot. "Alive and well without a mark on you. And yet you dishonor their memory by crying over it, so many years after. Do you think they want to be that knife wound in your gut? Do you think they want your only memory of them to be their deaths? The world keeps turning, Hermione Granger, and trust me when I say, so-do-you."
Hermione jerked defiantly to her feet, the mediwitch twittering and muttering in disapprovement about the wounds never getting better with her jumping around. Hermione felt slightly woosy from lost blood but she stood straight and tall. Spinning on her heal, she walked to the door, pushing it open.
Hermione twisted and writhed but the Death Eater's grip was like iron. Suddenly one seemed to get angry with her and whipped out his wand. Hermione fliched away and the next second she was frozen up completely. The Death Eaters dragged her down the stairs.
Her mother was screaming something. It didn't regesture in her brain. She made it down the stairs and suddenly, with a snap, her limbs regained their ability to move. She struggled again but she could not break free. She was stuck and she would die.
"Spare my daughter!" shouted her father as her mother fell to her knees sobbing. "She has done nothing! Please, spare her!"
"She's a filthy Mudblood!" Lucius Malfoy shouted. Hermione felt rage build in her. Malfoy. Idiot Malfoy. Too blind to see that blood had nothing to do with anything.
Hermione watched, for the second time in her life, something that no one in the world should have to see once. She felt her heart hardening against these Death Eaters and her resolve to fight grow stronger. When it was over, her memory self fell to her knees sobbing, clutching her dead parents, holding them close, praying that their bodies never go cold.
She opened her eyes and found herself in that damned white room. It was the same. The walls were still torn and her arms still ached. Suddenly she was on her side, her head spinning as something hit her hard in the side.
Gasping and opening her eyes, she looked up to see Ron standing over her, anger open on his face.
"Idiot!" he yelled. "Don't you see what you did wrong?"
"What?" Hermione asked in disbelief. "What did I do?"
"Wasting my bloody time with a bloody idiot," muttered Ron, glaring at her. "You still don't see, do you? Look at your arm! Look at your wounds!"
Hermione peeled the bandages off, ignoring a tsking sounds from the mediwitch. "They're scabbed!" Hermione said wonderingly. "That means they're healing!"
Ron looked at her in disbelief. "What the hell are you on about? I suppose it's simply been too long and I've forgotten about the sheer stupidity of the human race. If they were healing, fool, they would be healed! You've scabbed them over!"
"What does that mean?" Hermione asked. "I thought scabs were natures way of healing things!"
Ron looked at her as though she was singally the stupidest creature he had ever seen. "She's a mediwitch, idiot! Even a witch should know that when a mediwitch heals something, it's gone!"
"Then why is it scabbed?" Hermione asked stubbornly.
Ron sighed and assumed an expression of complete patience, as one would with a very small child. "Would you like to see an example?"
"Yes, please," Hermione said stubbornly.
"I was being sarcastic," Ron said, dropping his calm facade.
"I don't care," Hermione said. "Please explain to me why a scab means it isn't healing."
Ron suddenly looked thoughtful. "I'll do better than that. I'll kill two birds with one stone, as the human saying goes. Look."
Hermione turned around and saw an exceptionally small boy, lying on the ground, covered from head to toe in bandages and casts. Her breath caught as she saw messy black hair peaking out from under a bandage wrapped around his head.
With a small moan, the tiny, frail boy pushed himself to his feet. He wobbled unsteadily and looked at Hermione in confusion.
"Hello, little girl," he said. "Where did you come from?" Suddenly he seemed to stiffen. He put a small, bandaged hand to his face. "What's going on?" Though still a very small boy and still wrapped in bandages under his robes, he managed to portray an edge of readiness. "Who are you and how did you get me here? Ron?" he asked, seeing the guide in Ron's form. Indead of relaxing at the sight of him, he seemed to stiffen more, even under the bandages!
"Harry?" Hermione asked uncertainly. "How are you feeling?"
"Buzz off," Harry said. Hermione was taken aback and a little annoyed by the fact that he had said that to her and because he had managed to put command into that little boy's voice.
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked. "If you'd listen for a minute, I might be able to explain it to you."
Harry appeared to raise his eyebrows, but it was hard to tell with the bandage wrapped around his head. "If I have a question for you, little girl, I'll ask. You have my permission to completely ignore me until that time comes."
"It's Hermione, you dolt!" Hermione snapped. "And don't call me 'little girl' because you're just as young yourself!"
Harry's expression did not change at Hermione's words, but she had the impression he was thinking fast. Suddenly it seemed to click. "You didn't." There was little emotion in the words at all. His eyes were full of comprehension as they landed on Ron and, with a sigh, proceeded to unwrap the bandages that covered his head.
"This was a stupid mistake, Hermione Granger," he said calmly. He finished with his head bandage and Hermione saw a hard scab underneath it. He proceeded to unwrap his arms. "A stupid mistake. You're not powerful enough for this spell."
"So I've been told repeatedly," Hermione snapped.
"So why did you do it?" Harry asked calmly. Hermione was struck by how small he was. He looked like a tiny boy, but his eyes told differently and his voice held a calm assurance that no small child could imitate.
"Remus," Hermione said. "I had to know what hit him."
"A talisman," Harry said calmly. He had finished with his bandages and Hermione had trouble looking at him. His arms seemed like one big scab and his head looked like it had been hit painfully. He looked at her fresh scab and a small chuckle poked through. "Surpressing your feelings, now, Herm? Never expected that of you."
"Yeah, well, at least I'm not bleeding all over the floor," Hermione said. Something about his words suddenly clicked in. Surpressing her feelings. So that was why it was scabbed over and not healed.
"Be better if you were," Harry said calmly. "You should never have performed this spell. You're not powerful enough."
"So he keeps telling me," Hermione said, her lips a thin line. She jerked her head at Ron. Harry seemed suddenly at the edge of readiness again as he looked at Ron.
"I wouldn't say such a thing to him," Harry said quietly. "Do you have any idea who he is?"
"He's my guide," Hermione said, suddenly uneasy.
"No," Harry said. "He's more than just a guide. He's more than just a component made from magic. He holds your very life in his hands every second that you are here. Every second you're not here. I would be nice to him, Hermione. Very nice."
Hermione glanced at Ron uneasily. "I-I didn't mean to offend."
Ron snorted but said nothing. He was looking at Harry.
"So what are we doing here?" Harry asked. His eyes roamed over the mediwitch and dismissed her. Then they traveled over the room. They avoided Ron, Hermione noticed. Something cold crept into her stomach. What in the world would Harry, this Harry avoid looking at?
"Trying to help Remus," Hermione said,trying to keep her voice steady.
"Is this his mind?" Harry asked.
"No," Hermione said quietly. "It's mine."
Harry's eyes darted to her and she had the impression that he was weighing her on a pair of scales. Then they moved and she tried not to exhale in relief.
"Never thought of you as the slashed up type," Harry said. "Always thought your little mind was perfect."
"I resent that," Hermione said coldly. "And if you thought so, you were obviously deluded. Perhaps if you had spent more time trying to figure things out and less of it not being where you needed to be--"
"Trust me," Harry said, his eyes not landing on her, "If I could have been anywhere else, I would have been there."
Ron snorted but said nothing. Hermione expected Harry to give him a look, but he didn't. He didn't even look at him.
"What happened to you?" Hermione asked softly.
Harry's eyes flashed at her. "What did you expect? You don't have any idea what my life was like."
"I mean," Hermione said more firmly. "Where did you go?"
Harry said nothing for a moment. Suddenly a drop of blood dribbled down his temple. He cursed (which sounded decidedly odd coming from the small child) and wiped it away.
It was at that moment that the most astonding thing happened. Ron looked surprised. He covered it quickly, but it was still there. Hermione did not know who he was, but she guessed that he was not one to be surprised by very much.
Harry wiped the blood off his face hastily and revealed that whatever had broken the scab was gone now. Hermione found herself disappointed. "Care explaining why we're in your mind instead of Remus's?" Harry asked.
"There's some sort of block keeping me out," Hermione explained. "I have to get past it."
"How?" Harry asked.
"I-I'm not sure," Hermione said, glancing at Ron who appeared entirely disinterested in the conversation. "He just said that if I tried it at this point, I would bleed to death."
Harry let out a whistle between his teeth. Hermione tried not to look surprised. He hadn't really shown much emotion since he had arrived. "Well," he said. "Honestly, I didn't expect it to be hard, but if he says you'll bleed to death, you'll bleed to death. You should have expected it, of course, performing this spell."
"I couldn't find anything on this spell!" Hermione said emphatically. "I searched the Hogwarts library up and down-"
"The Ministry keeps this spell under wraps," Harry said. "I'm surprised you even found it in the library." He didn't look surprised. He didn't look much of anything.
"Why do they do that?"
"Because it's dangerous!" Harry snapped. "Haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying?"
Hermione glared at him. "I have been listening. I just don't understand what's so dangerous about it!"
"Don't see the danger?" Harry asked incredulously. "You're like a small child who wandered into the movie theator in the middle of a movie! People have never woken up when they've performed this spell! They do wake up but they're gone completely mad! Someone who hasn't performed the spell never wakes up! That's why the Ministry keeps it under wraps, Granger. If those Death Eaters got ahold of it, not a one of you would ever wake up!"
"The person whose mind you go into has to be in the room with you!" Hermione objected.
"What about me then?" Harry asked. "If he," he jerked this finger at Ron. "Decides it would be 'fun' to bring someone in, odds are, it's just about their time to go! Why do think it scared the crap out of me when I found out where I was?"
Hermione didn't remember him being scared when he came in, but she wasn't about to argue. She knew enough about him to know that he wasn't normally one for speaking his emotions. He must still be scared now, she realized, to have said anything about it at all.
"We tried to find you to perform it," Hermione said, rather quietly. "We just didn't know where you were."
"Well I was a bit tied up, wasn't I?" Harry asked. Ron snorted in laughter. Again, Hermione expected Harry to react to the laugh, but he did not. Her sense of unease grew. "Besides, had I known about this, I would never have done it."
"They're going to kill Remus at the hospital, did you know that?" Hermione demanded. "They're going to kill him because they can't figure out how to make him move and he's going to transform into a werewolf on the full moon. His expanding heart will most likely explode beneath his unmoving rib cage. His heart is practically the only thing in his that's still moving. It will grow, but the rest of him won't. We had to do something!"
There was silence for a moment. Hermione expected him to say something to that, but, once again, Harry didn't quite do what she expected.
"Let's go."
Harry looked at the door and took a step toward it before looking back at Hermione. "Well? Are you coming?"
"I-I," Hermione faultered. She had absolutely no wish to go back through that door, but she wasn't about to loose face in front of this prick. She was not sure whether she meant Ron or Harry. "Of course I'm coming."
Harry put his hands on the door and pushed.
Hermione was sitting on her bed, reading her book.
"Where are we?"
She gave a start and looked around.
Harry, looking exactly the right age and without the scabs, was looking around the room.
"Wha-"
The door burst open and Death Eaters burst in.
A scream came from downstairs. "Get out of here! Run for you life! RUN!"
The Death Eaters took Hermione by the arms and started dragging her, twisting and writing as she was. She was struggling harder and harder and finally the Death Eater got fed up and put a spell on her to stop her moving.
"Move," said a small voice in her ear.
She looked around, tears streaming down her face, and saw Harry standing there, walking calmly along side the Death Eaters.
She couldn't speak. Her mouth was frozen up.
"Don't be an utter fool," Harry said. Hermione found that she was quite tired of people saying that to her. "This is your mind," Harry continued. "You have absolute rein over everyone."
Hermione tried to wrap that around her brain. It made sense. She imagined herself moving again and tried to move her arms. Nothing happened. She gave Harry a desprite look.
Harry shook his head. "You're experimenting. You can't do that. You have to believe that it will happen so deeply, that you would be surprised if it didn't."
Hermione wasn't sure she could.
In her memory, her limbs suddenly regained the ability to move and she was kicking and screaming again. Her mother was shouting something, but it didn't regesture in her ears.
"Don't let them do this to you, Hermione," Harry said quietly. "You're better than they are. You're better. You know that. Make-them-let-go-of-you."
Hermione felt anger rising in her at his words and embraced it, letting it fill her to bursting. With a yell, she jerked free of her captors and launched herself at Malfoy just as he raised his wand. With a jerk he fell forward.
Hermione grabbed his wand and held it to his throat. "You stay away from my parents," she hissed.
"Hermione," said that little voice in her ear that was Harry. "What are you doing?"
"He killed them!" Hermione shouted at Harry. "He killed them, right there in front of me? do you have any idea how long I sat there? Crying? Despritely hoping that they're bodies wouldn't go cold? Just holding them to me? The Department of Magical Law Enforcement had to pry me off!" Tears were streaming down her face. "And he killed them! Because they were born Muggles and I, I was born a bloody witch!"
"And you think that your parents blames you for it?" Harry asked, shaking his head. "Don't be foolish. Your parents died trying to save you. If they blamed you for their deaths, they wouldn't have looked twice. Trust me, Hermione," he bent down next to her and looked her firmly in the eye. She flinched away. His eyes were hard and cold, like emerald rocks. "If they hadn't loved you, there is no way you would have turned into the person you are today. And trust me when I say that I know exactly what it's like to live a deprived childhood. You didn't have that. Your parents would hate to know that the only way you remember them is their deaths."
For the breifest instant, Hermione saw that little boy in front of her, angrily wiping blood off his face. Saw the scab on his head that had been so quick to open and to bleed. That had been just as fast to close back up again in its sheltered world. She saw it in front of her and something clicked.
She stood up shakily and dropped the wand. With hesitant footsteps, she walked toward her parents, scared looking and white, but alive in a way that she never thought she would see them again.
Fresh tears ran down Hermione's face. Color seemed to come back to her parents cheeks and her mother held out her arms. Hermione ran into them and she was sobbing into her mother's shoulder.
Her mother stroked her hair and whispered soothing words into her ear. "There, there, Hermione. It's okay to cry sometimes. You're a very strong girl and you've been so strong for so long. We're very proud of you. Very proud." Hermione felt warmth underneath her and felt as though she could stay there forever. She heard her father's voice join her mothers and she was hugging both of them. Slowly her tears deminished and she was completely calm and at peace with herself.
"Hermione."
She squeezed her eyes tight, wishing the voice would go away. It did. There was only calm and peace in the world and for those precious moments, she held onto her parents and she told them about everything she had accomplished, all her dreams that had come true, her job at Hogwarts, some of her students. She said nothing about Death Eaters. This was not the time. They expressed happiness at her triumphs and disappointment at her small failures. Hermione thought she could just sit there forever.
"There's a reason people never wake up, Hermione," said that annoying voice again. "Make me quiet again, if you will. It won't change the fact that your body is slowly dying outside your mind."
She started to make the voice leave again but she hesitated. She remembered what she had to do and her obligations to her friends. She broke apart from her parents and looked at them, fresh tears welling in her eyes at the thought of leaving.
"The time isn't yet," her mother said, wiping away a tear as it made its way down her cheek. "But there will come a time when you can look back on us and smile for who we were, instead of crying for who you lost."
"I do smile," Hermione lied.
Her father gave her a small smile. "Don't you forget where you came from, Hermione. Don't you forget, but move on. There's nothing more to do now. You have to help your friends and we understand that. You've been hurting so long. Don't think of us with painful thoughts anymore."
"I won't," Hermione promised. She rose to her feet and took a few steps backwards, knowing that this was the last time she would see her parents alive and well.
"It's just a memory," Harry said quietly. "Just a memory, but that doesn't mean they won't hear you if you tell them good-bye."
"Good-bye," Hermione whispered. "I love you."
"Good-bye, Hermione," said her mother. "And don't you cry. You have too much to live for to spend it in tears."
"And ask that Ron chap out on a date at some point," her father said briskly. "We still want grandkids, even if we don't get to see them straight away."
Hermione laughed. "Sure, Dad," she said.
A hand gripped her arm. "The clock's ticking," Harry said. Hermione nodded. With a last look at her parents, she turned and walked out the front door. And into the white slashed room.
Harry closed the door behind her. A second look showed that they were back into their childish forms.
"Thought you'd rot and die in there," Ron said exasperatedly. "Should have expected you to get stuck."
Hermione wasn't listening. She was thinking about her parents. It wasn't painful any longer. She gave a small smile. It was better now. Her eyes roamed the room blankly, lost in thought as she was. Her eyes skipped over Harry and then snapped back, jerking her out of her revere.
A great spot of blood had soaked through Harry's robes. From the look of the spot and the small amount of time Harry had spent in the room, she guessed that it was a large gaping hole. He looked rather pale. He must be suffering masive blood loss.
"Let's go," Harry grunted, pressing his hands against the wound in order to stem the flow.
"Careful not to let that get infected," Ron chuckled.
Harry seemed to go paler. He swallow and turned his sharp green eyes on Hermione. "Let's go," he said firmly.
"What's happened to you?" Hermione asked.
"Nothing!" Harry snapped. He took a deep breath and swallowed again. He seemed to be concentrating hard. Slowly, his face clearly and his hands released their pressure on his side. His breathing came in even breaths, rather like he was sleeping standing up.
"Here I thought you possessed mental disapline," Ron said, shaking his head. "But I suppose the beating one can receive on one's mind is always greater than one received on one's physical personage. Takes a bit more disapline to block it out once its opened again."
"Are you quite ready to leave yet?" Harry asked Hermione. His voice sounded cold and distant and his eyes looked angry. "Or do you want to see me do another trick?"
Hermione realized then that she had just witnessed a break down in Harry's mental barriers and he wasn't at all pleased about it. It appeared the scab had returned at this point. Harry was squeezing the blood off his robes. It was making a steady trickle onto the floor. So much blood for such a short amount of time...
"I-I-Let's go," Hermione muttered. Vaguely she realized that her own scabs were gone, leaving only open wounds. The number of cuts were diminished, but there was still a substantial amount.
"After you," Harry said coldly. Hermione pushed open the door.
"Oh, bloody hell..."
Hermione watched in horror as Harry advanced on her with a wand. Red eyes glittered in the distace, watching the scene in cruel amusement. "No, Harry!" Hermione yelled in terror. "You have to fight this! I know you can!"
She saw Harry waver slightly, as though fighting an inner battle. Hermione prayed that he would find strength. He had to find strength, for himself as much as for her.
No! She couldn't do this! Not again! Not this! Harry's hesitation became completely frozen. Hermione got to her feet as she had never been able to do that night. She was trembling all over and she approached Harry. His eyes were glazed over. his mouth was open slightly as though he was arguing with himself. Tears fell down her face again. She knew that this would be coming and she could not deal with it. Not now.
"Hermione," Harry's voice said. Hermione shook her head, not wanting to listen but not letting herself block it out. "You've frozen it before the memory started."
"I can't go through it," Hermione whispered. "Not this one. Any one but this one."
"This is the one that will make you better," Harry said. "If you can accept this one, you can go save Remus."
"Is is worth it?" Hermione whispered.
"Are you kidding?" Harry asked, but it wasn't angry. If she didn't know better, she woud have said that it sounded hollow. "Remus's life or your memory? It isn't a hard choice."
"I don't know if I can do it," Hermione said. "I don't think I can make this unfreeze."
"Of course you can," Harry said. "You made it through the first one. You can make it through this one."
"Can I do the other one again?" Hermione asked, forcing a tiny smile on her face.
"You can," Harry said. "Quite easily, in fact. But you're not here to do things the easy way. You should have known that when you started."
"I didn't know it would be this hard," Hermione said truthfully.
"Everyone's counting on you," Harry said firmly. "I have never known you to let someone down when they're really counting on you."
Hermione closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she nodded.
"Imperio!"
Hermione was sobbing. "No, Harry! You can fight this! I know you can!"
Harry hesitated over her, clearly trying to fight off the spell. Hermione saw those red eyes jerk off her for a second, listening to something. Harry blinked back to reality. His eyes landed on Hermione. She tried to smooth her terrified features but it was too late. Horror mixed with rage surged through Harry's eyes and he raised his wand again. With a yell, he moved toward Voldemort.
"Crucio!" Voldemort yelled despritely. "Crucio!"
Harry was completely beyond pain. Nothing seemed to effect him. He moved with sudden and deadly accurate precision.
"Avada Kedavra!"
Tears streamed down Hermione's face as she realized that the words had sprung from her friend's mouth. She knew what it would mean for him, to have killed anyone, even Voldemort.
The magical wrappings binding her vanished and she collapsed to the ground, only to scramble to her feet in an instant. Her breath caught. Harry stood there, looking very dramatic and impressive, his eyes glowing with an inner light, his wand still raised over the smoking ruin that had once been a living being. To call it human would be to go too far, but it was living nonetheless.
Suddenly, as though he had been held up by strings that the puppetmaster suddenly dropped, Harry fell to the ground. Hermoione rushed over to him, catching his hand and holding it tightly, appalled at how little warmth was left in it. His eyes fluttered open, looking slightly glazed.
"Hermione," he whispered. "Did you see it?"
"I saw it," Hermione said, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry, Harry!"
"No," Harry said, struggling to maintain consiousness."Did you see it?"
"I saw!" Hermione insisted. "I saw!"
"No," said Harry desperately. At this point it dawned on Hermione that perhaps he wasn't talking about what she thought he was talking about. "Did you see it?"
"See what, Harry?" Hermione whispered, afraid of what his words would be.
"The world," Harry said, relaxing somewhat and closing his eyes. "It's gone. I feel light."
The scene froze around Hermione. Her fingers squeezed tighter around his, trying to make them warm again. A hand touched her on the shoulder. Without looking up, she knew who it was.
"They keep asking him to help," Hermione choked out. "They keep asking so muh from him. They weren't here this night. They didn't see him. They didn't seem him look at me like that and tell me that suddenly the world was lifted from his shoulders. He doesn't want to fight anymore! Why can't they see that?" She looked at Harry. For the breifest instant, she saw pity in his eyes before he realized that she was watching and it flickered away.
"Sometimes people don't have a choice," he said quietly. "Sometimes the need is simply too great."
"Not him," Hermione said firmly. "Not Harry. Not after this!"
"Him more than anyone," Harry said firmly. "You know that. But it's always his choice. Always. You can't make this choice for him and you can't dwell on something that you can't change."
"I wish that I could," Hermione whispered. "I just wish he never had to live through that."
"But he did," Harry said. He bent down, not looking at the motionless form in front of him. "He lived through it and he's working through it. He doesn't need you dwelling on it, holding him back from recovery."
"I'm not!" Hermione said, unconsciously squeezing the motionless figure's hand harder. "I-I-"
"He needs your help," the Harry standing over her said calmly. "Not your sympathy. If he's trying to move past it, you should too."
"I know," Hermione said, wiping her face with the back of her free hand. "But it's not easy, seeing your friend go through that."
"You can't help everyone," Harry said. "And right now, Harry needs your help most by not helping. If he needs to talk, let him talk. Don't hover over him and treat him like a child. He needs a friend. Not a teacher."
"I know," Hermione said. "But lately, it seems like he doesn't have a friend from anyone. Everyone's trying to pressure him into doing something he thought--at this moment!--he would never have to do! He's finished! He shouldn't have to do anymore!"
"Harry will find his strength," Harry said quietly. "When he finds that, he will know what to do. He cannot find it, however, until you let him walk alone. Just let it go, Hermione. Remember you've got another friend who needs you right now. Harry's past anyone's help but his own."
Slowly, Hermione lessened her hold on her friend's hand. "They-They've just been so quick to judge him. They don't understand--"
"They weren't in your place," Harry cut in firmly. "They couldn't possibly. But it's been five years, Hermione. Five years! That's a vast amount of time. It doesn't seem like much, but think about how much has changed. It's time to move on."
"I know," Hermione said. She stood up and wiped her tears away. They came back, but it was the gesture that meant something. "It still hurts," she muttered.
"Don't expect it to go away instantly," Harry said quietly. "Trust me. I know. Still, I think you'll be able to help Remus now."
For a split second Hermione's eyes flickered. "Harry," she said quietly. "Don't let him make me come back through here again."
Apparently Harry had seen her indesicion. "Why not?" he asked. Hermione was suddenly under the impression that he was on the edge of readiness.
"No reason," Hermione said. Harry opened his mouth to reply, but Hermione was suddenly wishing she had never said anything and with jerked movement, ran into the trees. When blackness engulfed her, she sat down, her back against a tree and fresh tears threatened. She fought them back. Why did it have to be so hard? No one had to fight so much in one day. She shouldn't have to! All this time she'd spent, trying to cope with this and she was simply supposed to fix it? In one blow?
She shuddered and held back tears again. But she wouldn't go through that door again. She wouldn't do it. She knew what lurked on the other side. She remembered clearly what had happened, what had haunted her dreams since the incedent, and it wasn't these woods.
Shaking her head sharply, she stood up. Now wasn't the time. Remus needed help and the clock was ticking. She stood up and dusted herself off. Then, taking a deep breath and reaching out blindly, her hand hit a door knob. She turned.
A flash of light announced her arrival at the white room. Surprisingly, the walls were far less torn now, though still noticeably so. Oddly, the instant she returned, she felt the bandages soak through. The medi-witch hurried over to her and began patching her up.
"Reopened old wounds, have we?" Ron asked. "Still, judging by appearances, you've got a better outlook on life."
"Whatever," Hermione muttered. She noticed Harry then, watching her like a hawk. "What?"
"What are you not telling me?" he demanded in his high-pitched child's voice that nonetheless commanded authority.
"I think," Ron said, before Hermione could come up with an answer. "Granger here is ready to go after the block."
"Look at her," Harry scoffed before his eyes darted sharply to Ron and his tone quieted. "She's still a bleeding mess."
Ron shook his head. "No, I think she's ready. She'll go back in if I think she needs to, but I think she's ready. Those wounds will only get worse at this point. She can't wait here forever."
Harry nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, Granger. Let's see what you've got."
Hermione faced them on shaky legs, not liking how they talked about her as if she wasn't there. "I will not go back through. I've wasted enough time. Remus needs me."
"Right," Ron said, suddenly business-like. "Then let's get out of this dump and go do something that means something."
A few seconds later, Hermione realized that she should be offended. Sighing, she also realized that she couldn't bring herself to care.
A/N: Responses!!!
Night-Owl123: Updated!!!
Allizarin Sylvain Phyre: Wheel of Time rules!!! It was the perfect oppurtunity to put that in there so I thought I would. :) Yes, Harry's sort of back in this chapter, though in Hermione's mind. Bad things happen next chapter when Harry tries to break through the block with Hermione. Let's just say, there is a very good reason the Ron guy made Hermione confront her demons before she tried to go through. Not so lucky with Harry though, so when he tries to get through the block, a few of his demons confront him. Hehe! Can't wait to put that one out!!
Saramagic: I updated! Been a whole bloody month though... stupid me. Anyway, still didn't fin dout what happened to Harry, but at least we know he's still alive!!! I felt I should add a bit with Hermione because I don't think she's had any kind of important role in any of my stories and she's one of my favorite characters!!! I honestly think this chapter was a little...slow? I mean, we got through some of Hermione's fears, but no where really in the overall goal of helping Remus. Between you and me, we'll be seeing less of Remus in this story. They're going to find out what happened to him and how to help him, not actually helping him at this point. Wow! I just had a revelation moment that I can't tell you about, but suddenly things are looking happier for me!!! Sort of.. Anyway, I'm not sure when PoA comes out in the USofA, but I think we'll get it whenever because Mum orders everything off the internet so she'll get it as soon as she's able. She's a HP fan too!!! Oh! Did you hear about the next book? It's called The Half-Blood Prince!!! Woot! Everyone thinks the Prince is Voldemort. I'm not so sure though. If you want to know why, check the first paragraph of the tenth chapter in the fifth book. It may be refering to the prefect badges, but it seems a little coincidental. So I guess I'll stop rambling!!! Bye!
RunningInCircles: Glad I updated, too! Hope you like this chapter!!!
Lady-of-the-Dragon-Flame: Hehe!! Hermione's still got a few demons she has to face. It'll make getting through the block difficult, but not impossible, throw in future Harry's personal demons, however... that could get tricky. I'm going to love writing it... Ron's not future future Harry in disguise. Good guess, but I suppose I put a stopper on the theory this chapter. Ron (not really Ron, you know what I mean)... he's not a character really. More like an...entity. Harry'll explain everything if they can get out of this predicament. Okay, okay, WHEN instead of 'if', but 'if' sounds more dramatic. Besides, the journey's half the fun!
mashimaromadness: Hehe...procrastination... sorry, it's a band joke. Not a band joke really,but something someone said on the band bus one time. Not to give you bad mental pictures, but wouldn't the word procrastination sound REALLY bad if you didn't know what it meant? Sorry, sorry. I've just spent WAY too much time with the band nerds lately. Think 7:30-9:00 every school day morning, every Friday night until about midnight or after, depending on whether the football game is home or away, and all day every Saturday for band marching competitions! Blah. Sorry...didn't mean to rant...
shadow-n-the-dark: Hermione's got to heal her emotional scars. People tell me my writing is confusing and I think it's because I don't explain things properly. I know what I'm talking about, and sometimes I forget to meantion somethings! Sorry!!! Oh, still don't know where Harry is, but he's not dead, so that's got to count for something, right? We'll find out what's up later. hehehe...
robbly: Just to start at the end of your review and work my way up... Harry and Hermione are stuck in Hermione's predicament now, though just exactly why the Ron-that-isn't-really-Ron will be explained. It's for more than just an example of scabs, though. Don't worry. That would be really tacky if that was it. Oh, the ball of light was the talisman. She picked it up and it attacked her like it did Harry. Actually, just to be really specific, it was Hermione hitting the block when she tried to get deeper into Remus's brain. Now she's got Harry's help though so she'll get past those first stages of the block easily enough. This is a really long chapter, so be happy and smile and stuff! Still kind of suspenseful, and I'm thinking of putting some of the next chapter in Harry's point of view....that would be interesting... but anyway, I'm done now!!! :) Update your story!!!
Gin Ookami777: Next chapters here! Send me an E-mail if you get your fics up and going!!!
Dadaiiro:The creature that took Ron's form is not exactly a creature. I meantioned what it was, but, alas, I didn't explain it thoroughly and I didn't exactly what it was so much as what it did. It's the guide. Hermione was planning on being the guide for future Harry, but he never showed up so Ron did it. It just took Ron's form though because it doesn't have a form of its own. More will be revealed about that later though. We still don't know what happened to future Harry at this point, but we know he's not dead, so plus side for that! We'll find out more inthe next chapter! Okay, so I'll post this one so I can start writing on the next!!!